HE TOOK OUR PANTS! Part 2 of 3

Author: the rubyone

Word Count: 4,116

Rated: T for Teen / PG implied slash only

Disclaimer: Drake and Josh SO not owned by me – too bad! I'd share!

Summary: Three part fiction that "fills in between the scenes" during the Season 4 episode Megan's First Kiss.

Spoilers: Details from the episode Megan's First Kiss and from the general Drake and Josh universe

Author's Note: Part 2, set in the boys' bedroom, after Josh learns that Cory's "steppin' out," during the episode Megan's First Kiss

HE TOOK OUR PANTS!

Part 2 of 3

"So, what are we going to do about this?" asked Drake, outraged.

"Hmmm," Josh answered, thoughtfully, stroking his chin, "We'll have to find out when Cory sets up his next date with Megan and follow them, the same as last time. Meanwhile, we need to know who that other girl is and see if she'll help us. I think he called her Monica?"

Drake, nodding, hands on hips. "Then we'd better get your laptop and head back down to the Premiere. Someone who's still there might know her identity. And while you're asking the rest of the staff, I can IM all the girls I know who have little sisters."

"Do you feel like going out in public now?" asked Josh.

Drake, who was heading for the door, turned and stopped, "Huh? Oh, the chafing. It's much better, thanks. You'll make a fine doctor someday." With mischief in his eyes, he added, "We might need to work on your bedside manner, though."

Not rising to the bait, Josh said in a bored tone, "Save it for the cover of darkness! I did notice you have pants on again. Ones that are suitably less tight."

Drake replied, "I decided to limit breaking-in-new-jeans to one day a week."

Josh said, "Oh, hang on. That reminds me: here." He handed Drake a bag. "I picked these up at the mall while I was there."

Drake, brightening, in the same manner as when he thought Mrs. Hafer had died. "What? A present for me?"

As Drake opened the bag and pulled out a plastic package, Josh told him, "It's a different style to add to your collection." Noting Drake's quizzical expression, Josh said, "These are boxer briefs. They're the longer ones that hug the thigh but keep it covered. Very comfortable."

Drake took the underwear out of its packaging and held it up to look at. Josh explained, "I bought those for you after I went to the food court and before I stopped at the Premiere. Once I saw that two-timing Cory, I raced back here to tell you." The expression on Josh's face turned to dark rage. "It just makes me furious!"

"I know," concurred Drake. "Now I'm really mad that he took our stuff and our pants." He frowned and added, "Those were my Number Four favorites."

Thoughtfully, Josh answered, "Maybe he has a thing for black denim?"

Drake, fuming, "I wish we could get our stuff and our pants back. Thank God he didn't get the new ones!"

"Well," Josh said sarcastically, "if old Cory hasn't set up a shrine for his middle school pals to come and see how he pwned Megan's brothers, then I'll bet he's done something destructive with them, like cutting holes in them or setting them on fire." He concluded, sadly, "We'll never see those pants again! How could Megan be interested in such a rude deviant?"

In disbelief, Drake replied, "This IS Megan we're talking about. His evil is probably just a bonus. I think Megan's finally revealing a weakness – that she's just like any other girl in that respect: picking looks and style over character."

Looking at him, puzzled, Josh said, "I don't believe what I'm hearing-"

Indignantly, Drake answered, "Hey, I know my subject matter in this area!"

"True that," Josh conceded. "We better get going before Dad or Megan try to stick their noses in our business."

"Roger that. My jacket's downstairs," stated Drake. He once again headed to the door, "Let's do this."

later, as it's getting dark outside

Scene: The boys have returned and are on their bedroom sofa. Drake has stretched out, his feet on Josh's lap. Josh is sitting at one end of the couch. Celebrities Chasing Ghosts is on television.

With satisfaction, Drake said, "We did some major detective work today! Everything's all set for tomorrow afternoon. They're meeting at the Premiere for the first showing after school."

Josh sighed, "I hope it pays off. Megan was so excited at dinner when she was telling Dad about Cory calling her and setting up another movie date; it almost broke my heart."

Dismissing Josh's tender feelings, Drake reminded him, "You know that little perv just can't wait for the lights to go down, so he can finish what he started."

Pleading for reason, Josh replied, "Dude, you're going to have to deal with this at some point."

Still upset, Drake snorted, "Thirteen's too young for her to be kissing guys!"

Josh, attempting logic, answered, "I agree that 13 is too young for anybody to become active sexually, but it's not too young for social dating. Hey! Didn't you tell me you were thirteen when you not only had your first kiss, but also lost your virginity?"

Drake replied, "Yes. But that's different. That was with an older girl, not some innocent little 13-year-old!"

"And how old was Daphlene?" inquired Josh.

"Fifteen!" Drake told him. "Mom and Megan and I were on vacation in Vegas. I met her at the hotel swimming pool." He drifted off into his memories for a few seconds, and continued, "Ah, good times."

Josh, poking Drake's leg with his index finger, interrupted his reverie, "Hello. It's the twenty-first century! I can't believe you still have a double standard for boys and girls."

Drake, patiently reiterated, "Josh, as long as girls can have babies and guys can't, there will always be a double standard."

In disbelief, Josh tried again to reason with his brother. "What you should say is that as long as there are guys who think like you do, there will always be an unfair double standard."

Losing interest in the fight, Drake changed the subject. "When's Mom coming back?"

"Monday night," Josh answered, tactfully letting the other subject die.

"I'm sure tired of eating take-out and Walter's cooking," Drake said. "So, we should have this whole thing sorted out by then and a nice, home-cooked dinner to look forward to."

It was Josh's turn to change the subject. "Now what were you going on about earlier, something about my bedside manner?" he inquired, with raised eyebrows. He added, jokingly, "Ya try and be a nice guy, help a person out . . ."

Drake sat up and pushed Josh's shoulder. "Quit your bitching, 'Doc.' I cancelled my date for tonight because of the chafing. So now you're my date." Drake lifted the hem of his t-shirt and put his hands on his belt buckle. "And I've got this problem with my rod, see, I need you to take a look."

Josh, a little mad, a little amused, answered, "With that attitude, why don't you call Dr. Glazer? While he's doing the work-up, you can ask him to diagnose your terminal case of smart mouth, too." He pushed Drake's shoulder.

With the speed of a striking cobra, Drake lunged at Josh. They rolled off the couch and started wrestling on the floor, like two blurry tumbleweeds.

Josh managed to get a grip on Drake and started playfully smacking Drake's ass, while teasing, "Where's your butt gone, boy? You used to have one. Now you're flat as a pancake." He laughed loudly. "No wonder you have to wear your pants so tight, so they won't fall down."

Drake, mock-angrily, and attempting to wriggle out of Josh's grasp, said warningly, "Oh, that's right. Keep spankin' it up. I know where you live and I know where you're ticklish."

Finally escaping, Drake turned and attacked – "Gah!" - a tornado of tickling fury, until Josh was flat on his back, laughing, wheezing and helpless.

Breathing hard, Josh begged, "Stop! Have mercy! I feel the asthma coming on." After Drake released him, he added, "And by the way, I hate that red t-shirt you have on, it looks too girly." Josh slowly pulled himself into a sitting position on the floor, his back resting against the couch.

"You say the most romantic things," Drake said, amused and chuckling, scooting himself over to sit beside Josh, with his knees up, making his chafe as comfortable as possible, and laying his head on Josh's shoulder.

Josh, also laughing and smiling, replied, while leaning his own head against Drake's, "I guess that's why you love me and keep coming back for more."

CUT! Action resumes on Monday after school at the Premiere, where our sweet heroes prevent Cory's lips from touching any part of their sister. You know the rest. Kung phooey! Ouch!