Seriously, What The Heck, Dude?
Hat Kid kicked a rock down the dirt road she had been travelling down, a tiny scowl on her face, and her trusty umbrella in hand. "Stupid Snatcher….."
"Well, if you're so determined to stay… it would be a lovely and nice thing for my best friend to go and clear out my minion's pumpkin patch, as a gesture of kindness and affection. What do ya say, kiddo? Wanna sign another contract?"
Check and mate, baby!
Just cause he couldn't make her leave didn't mean he could exploit the terms of their contract to make her do things! It wasn't faaaaaaair! (Hat kid could practically hear Snatcher saying, "Well, life isn't fair kiddo! Get used to it!" then doing his stupid laugh.)
It wasn't even, exactly, that the child WOULDN'T enjoy beating up some slime monsters who had taken up residence in Snatcher's forest. It might have been a little cruel, but the kid had to admit that she did enjoy beating the tar out of things every once in a while. Hey, who didn't? It was cathartic! And maybe a little fun.
But it was the principle of the thing! You couldn't just do that to people! Or, at least her, after all she had done in defeating Mustache Girl, and that gross toilet, and also clearing those weird fire foxes out! So there!
Hat Kid was interrupted from these thoughts, however, by the end of the path, and the grumpy child gazed upon a field of truly enormous, just downright obscenely large pumpkins, many of whom were just absolutely plastered in some gross-looking gunk. (Which probably came from those slime monsters she had to fight! Man, she'd have to be really careful. Slime would be pretty awful to get out of her clothes.)
"Ew."
Why had her "best friend" put her up to this, again? Probably because he didn't want to do it himself, the lazy jerk. Also some petty revenge for making him be her BFF in the first place, which was just no fair!
Though, the shadow creature was pretty rubbish at fighting anyhow. How in the name of the GALAXY has he caused anyone's head to "pop off?"
Well… it wasn't any of Hat Kid's business, anyway. She had avoided that fate, and if she was gonna be honest with you? The child didn't want to know.
Regardless of the Snatcher's personal abilities, however, she had a task to do, and by God this kid was gonna have fun doing it.
Donning the Time Stop hat with a flourish, Hat kid spun her umbrella in one hand and stepped foot inside of the pumpkin patch, glancing around like a predator for one of the creatures that had made the rather unfortunate mistake of making its home inside.
Quietly, Hat Kid stalked through the rows. She did not, however, catch sight of the creatures. They appeared to be blending in quite well with their surroundings. That was fine with her. It would make chasing them down all the more fun- like an iSpy puzzle!
The child jumped upon one of the smaller pumpkins in the field, using them as platforms until she could jump herself up into a tree and look around. After waiting a moment, she saw a creature move below.
Ah-hah!
The kid jumped off her platform, plummeting down until she could make a homing attack upon the slime, hitting it with her umbrella, then landing with a fierce thump!
Quickly, while the creature was stunned, she turned and began whacking it again with her umbrella. "Take that, you- you gross thing!"
It took a few hits with her umbrella, and some close dodges when it lashed out by throwing some balls of slime at her, but the creature eventually exploded into pons with a pop noise, and Hat Kid gave a triumphant smile.
That hadn't been that hard after all!
Really, the Snatcher was laaaaame. Even though he was purple. (Purple was Hat Kid's favorite color, next to yellow.) He was a disgrace! A disgrace to all things purple with his lameness!
He had, of course, been beaten by a little girl in battle, so this was maybe-kinda-sorta a given but Hat Kid liked to think highly of herself, so this did not factor this into her assessment much.
And so combat went for another six monsters, until the pumpkin patch was all clear of the irksome pests, and the poor child was downright soaked in green gunk, though she had gotten a little lost in the thrill of combat, and hadn't quite noticed that yet.
Now that her task was complete, Hat Kid loitered around a few minutes, waiting for Snatcher to appear and tell her that her job was done like when she had done the shadow's work before, until the kid came to a sudden realization, and groaned aloud.
Really, Snatcher?
This meant that the Snatcher was an even lazier jerk than she had previously thought! He had probably gotten caught up in that book he was reading, and wasn't coming. That, or he just wanted to make her walk all the way back. Both, probably. He was like that.
Well, if the shadow was gonna be a jerk, so was she! Maybe she would sneak up behind him while he was absorbed in his book, and what him with her umbrella. Or dump some of this goo on him…
As Hat Kid thought, she donned an evil grin, then switched to her Brewing Hat, then dumping out the contents of a bottle in favor of scooping some of the gunk into it. Yeah! She'd cover Snatcher in some of the gross gunk he had made her touch. That'd teach him that he was NOT the boss of her!
...The kid just had to get there first. And not get noticed. Which was probably easier said than done. Well, there was no time like the present to get on with her magnificent and
dastardly plan to get revenge on the Snatcher!
Hat Kid was quite proud of it, if she did say so herself.
