This is another one shot, written in about ten minutes, about Nanoha's birthday and her friends taking her to a bar to celebrate. The following has sexual humor, so do not read this chapter if you do not like it. It is all in good fun, and not to be taken seriously. If you want to laugh, then enjoy. If you are not in the mood to laugh, this story will not appeal to you at all. With that being said, please enjoy another one of my "stress relief" stories until I get back on track with my real works. Enjoy,
Happy Birthday, Nanoha
By: Satashi
Nanoha laughed out happily, covering her mouth just in case she decided to accidentally spit out the mouthful of her drink. Haseo gave the woman an amused look as she choked down the liquid and proceeded to gasp our for air while trying to contain her giggles. "Are you serious?" She asked Hayate, who blushed and nodded happily. The waiter shook his head and smirked to himself as he placed the several orders of pizza, hot wings, chips, mozzarella sticks, and other miscellaneous items on the table. Kuhn waved to the group after putting down his part of their order and got on taking their next round of drink orders. So far they were already mostly tipsy, Nanoha being the most drunk since it was her birthday.
"How about you?" Hayate asked while making a grab for the food she wanted. People's hands danced all over the table. Everyone the girl knew was currently present and three tables had to be gathered together just to allow them enough room to all eat together. "What's your most embarrassing moment?"
Nanoha thought back and took a bite of her pizza after blowing on it. "Well," She grinned. "It had to be that time we were in high school, and playing truth or dare. Remember, it was winter time and... I think it was you, actually, who dared me to run around the house butt naked one time. I stripped off all my clothes and ran, but when I got to the front again Yuuno just arrived knocking at your door so I had to stand next to him while-" She had to stop talking when Chrono almost had a stroke laughing. "Mou, be quiet you!" The rest of the table shared in his laugh at the girl's expense. "That's not the worst ever, though, I'm sure."
"Yes, remember that time when," Signum looked over at Vita, who suddenly went stiff. "Vita-chan thought she was a big girl and proved it by going shopping for Shamal?"
"Signum!!!" Vita blushed darkly.
"What, what?" Nanoha put an arm around the suddenly blushing girl. "What happened?"
Shamal covered her amused smile. "I sent her to an adult toy store."
"You didn't!" Nanoha looked over at Vita, who was suddenly trying to hide. "Did she buy anything!?"
"Don't tell her!"
"Oh yeah, she bought something." Signum agreed. "Two somethings."
"You dirty little girl!" Nanoha grinned like an idiot at her.
"Oh yeah!?" Vita glared over at her fellow knight. "Then how about the time you were the finalist in the cosplay fashion show at that anime convention!?"
Fate gasped out at Signum. "You cosplayed!?"
"I... Hayate made me!"
"You chose your outfit." Vita glared at her, pleased at her revenge. "She was a cat girl; tail, ears, everything."
"Woo woo!" Fate cheered out. "I want pictures!"
"I have pictures!" Hayate confirmed happily after drinking some. "Come by tonight!"
"You bet!"
"Mistress Hayate!" Signum tried to cover herself but couldn't seem to be able to. "Don't even think you'll see them, Fate!"
"Watch me, miss meow."
The table once again erupted in laughter. "Is that so?" Signum got a nod. "Well then, if I'm going to be embarrassed then I'll just have to take you down with me." The slightly tipsy girl smiled evilly at her rival. "Remember that one incident you told me about when we were both drunk together after a mission?"
"Signum, if you say anything I'm going to-"
"Tell, Tell!" Subaru cheered them on merrily.
Signum smiled. "This involves the birthday girl as well." Nanoha smiled at hearing that and paid closer attention to her. "It turns out, miss bunny rabbit there made a deal with Fate that they could each do one of their 'deepest darkest kinks' to each other at any time. Fate's was-"
"Oh my god!" Nanoha waved out her arms, glancing at Chrono. "Not while he's here!"
"Oh?" Chrono leaned forward. "Keep going, Signum." The boy watched his sister sink down in her chair, blushing like fire.
"Well," She went on. "Nanoha visited Fate at work one day. You know how her office walls are all glass with blinds in them?" She got several nods. "Well Nanoha's secret desire was to molest Fate in her office." The table suddenly found themselves listening to every word. "So she ducked under the desk and pulled Fate's chair up close while she was sitting in it. You know how our standard uniforms are mini skirts?" Signum eyes Fate, enjoying the revenge. "Let's just say Nanoha was eating more then than she is now."
"Ewwwww!" Hayate laughed out.
"Signum, that's more embarrassing to me than her!" Nanoha protested, deciding that she needed something a little more alcoholic after that was revealed.
"I'm not done yet," Signum continued. "I didn't mention that Chrono came to visit her that day."
Chrono paused his eating. "What?" He thought back to it. "that time!?" He looked over at Fate. "So when I thought you were sick you were really...?" He got a timid nod. "And when I left and you screamed...?" Again she nodded. "While I was talking to you!?" A third nod. "Oh I'm going to be sick..."
"There, there" Yuuno pat him on the head playfully. "Sucks to be you man, I can't imagine watching your sister getting... yeah... without even knowing it."
Chrono glared at him. "You're not helping, ferret-changeling!"
"Hey! Don't blame me that your sister is an exhibitionist!"
"Yuuno!" Fate gasped out.
"Hey!" Chrono glared at him. "Okay then, lets see how smart you are after hearing this." He smiled over at Nanoha. "We seem to be turning this into a roast to the birthday girl."
She blinked. "Oh no, not something else involving me!"
Chrono smirked. "Hey sis, guess what Yuuno here did?" He got a questionable look so he continued. "He and Nanoha had sex on your bed."
"I can deal with that," Fate waved it off. "I have too."
"While Nanoha was wearing your standard clothes." He smirked, recalling how Yuuno told him. "Uniform, bra, panties, everything."
Fate choked on her food and looked over at Nanoha." Did you!?"
"Um... um... Maybe?" She blushed darkly.
"Oh gross!" She looked down at the clothes she was wearing and suddenly felt like she wanted to take a shower while everyone at the table laughed at her and Nanoha. "I'm never ever letting you borrow my clothes again!"
"But what about the time I caught you masturbating while wearing her flight uniform?" Tia pondered innocently.
The table went silent a moment before several people had laughing fits. "You said you would never tell anyone!" Fate screamed at her.
"Ewwwwww!" Nanoha whined out before putting her face in her hands. "We're even, Fate-chan."
"I'm surrounded by perverts," Subaru muttered before chugging some of her drink.
"Oh no, you're not getting out of this scott free," Nanoha pointed at her. "There was that one time I dropped by to visit you and caught you in the gothic lolita lingerie."
"Hey, that's mine!" Tia shouted at her before suddenly realizing what she just admitted.
Subaru flushed and turned to her food. "I guess we're all sicko pervs here..."
"Not all of us," Elio muttered around his bread stick.
"Hmmm," Vita looked over at him. "Don't count yourself out, squirt. Signum told me the first thing you did when you met Caro was to feel up her chest."
"Kyaaaa!" Caro put both hands on her cheeks and blushed at the memory. "He was so bold!" Despite what was said, she seemed to be more happy than embarrassed at the memory. "My Elio-kun works fast, don't you honey?" She latched onto his arm.
"Caro..." Elio looked away bashfully.
"Hehe, my Division is unique all right." Hayate smiled happily.
"You have to share something else," Nanoha protested her. "What you said earlier doesn't cover all of what I went through just now!"
"Hmmm," Hayate pretended to think. "I havn't done anything like that in all my life.
"Aw, don't be embarrassed, Hayate." Shamal encouraged her. "You're really open about it at home, the way you scream Vita's name at night."
"Shamal!" Vita yelled at her. "Don't tell them what we do at night!"
"You just did," Signum informed her.
"Oh-hoooo," A drunk Subaru elbowed the girl playfully. "Our leader is the root of all our evil I see."
"Well, she did pick us all out," Tia mused as she chewed on her straw. "I don't think I'll ever forget this night."
"Unforgettable nights!" Nanoha cheered, pumping her fist up in the air. "Time to share the story when you lost your virginity!" She pointed at Chrono. "You start!... oh wait, never mind," She pointed at Yuuno. "You're first by default!"
"Hey, he's had sex plenty of times!" Amy protested.
"Yes, I know," Nanoha gave her the best kitty smile she could. "I just wanted someone to protest that fact. Guess you're starting, Amy-saaaaan."
"Eh?! Well...um..." The girl looked at her drink before picking it up and downing it. Despite her best hopes, she found that she was still thinking clearly. "It was not too long after the Book of Darkness incident..."
"Wait," Fate waved her hands. "Wasn't he like, sixteen at the time?" She got a nod. "And you were...twenty one I think?" She got another nod. "Wow, rob the cradle much?"
"A-Anyway!" Amy shouted out. "Yeah...At my house on our first date."
"First!?" Tia gasped out.
"We knew each other for years!" Amy protested. "It wasn't like we just met!"
Chrono sighed, getting comforted by his sister playfully. "There, there," She smiled. "There are worst things that could be revealed."
"Like your first time," He agreed. "Spill it."
"My first time was awesome!" She laughed.
"Who was it?" Signum pondered, nibbling on her food. "Probably Nanoha."
"Yup!" Fate nudged Nanoha, getting a happy smile. "When we were seventeen I think?"
"Mmhmm, at my house in the bed, after I told you about the time I had with Yuuno."
"Get around much?" Vita snorted.
"Aw, poor Vita." Nanoha reached over and pulled the girl into her lap despite the protest and held her there. "I still love you."
"Let me go!"
"No!" Nanoha hugged her happily. "Vita's my birthday present!" The words made the red head growl but still give in and allow herself to be hugged.
"So, what's the worst thing you've done?" Subaru asked her idol.
"Hmm... I havn't really done that much, despite what you might think after tonight... Oh!" She looked over at Fate and then Yuuno.
"I smell a three-way!" Tia teased, the alcohol already working her.
"Four-way, actually..." Chrono sighed out.
"You had sex with your sister!?" Amy gasped.
"He had sex beside his sister," Fate shot that idea down quickly. "I was with Nanoha."
"...Yuuno!?" The entire table looked over at the two males. Yuuno sighed out and took a large gulp from the old fashioned glass in front of him.
"Why did I come here again...?" He asked to himself.
"Don't feel bad, Yuuno-kun, I heard you were pretty good at it." Nanoha laughed happily, ruffling Vita's hair.
"Don't take it too far," She warned up at her. "I'm only doing this because it's your birthday."
"And you're drunk." She reminded her, cuddling the smaller girl. "You won't remember any of this tomorrow."
"Can we say 'black out'?" Shamal giggled as Tia's weak tolerance showed itself and the girl laid down on the table. She reached over and rubbed the girl's head lightly. "I'm going to be so busy tomorrow with everyone's hang overs."
"I'll help you," Hayate soothed her. "I don't get hung over."
"Me either," Nanoha chimed in. "But I'm already drunk I think, so I'll probably sleep in."
"You're past drunk," Vita countered, looking back up at her. "You're smashed."
"Maybe." Nanoha looked at her a moment before leaning over and kissing her. "Nyahaha, I've always wanted to do that!"
Vita's eyes went wide a moment before glaring up at her and turning around. "Humph!"
"Aw, she's blushing!" Subaru cooed, leaning over but ending up falling next to her plate. "Ah, the room is spinning."
"Two down." Signum couldn't help but smile. "Who will be the next?" A thunk made her look over to where Yuuno used to be sitting. "Well, that's three down. He didn't hit his head did he?"
"He's fine," Chrono slurred. "So, Signum, your most embarrassing moment?"
Signum thought about it a moment. "...Oh!"
"What?" Fate wondered why she was being looked at. "We've never had sex, don't look at me!"
"Well..."
"Ohhhhh," Hayate giggled out with a slur. "I know what this is about."
"What?" Fate asked her.
Hayate smiled happily. "Signum saw you sunbathing topless on your balcony."
"So?" Fate blinked. "She's seen me naked lots of times."
"She was panting heavily with a hand down-"
"Okay that's enough!" Signum coughed. "You shouldn't have been watching."
Fate took a longer drink from her glass and coughed when the alcohol burned her throat. "I feel violated."
"I'll violate you later if you want," Nanoha smiled at her, wobbling in her chair. If not for Vita she would have probably fallen out by now.
"I can't believe this," Elio whispered, face red. "So this is the adult world?"
"Does Elio-kun want to violate me too?" Care hopped in his lap, cheeks burning red. "I don't mind!"
"Caro, did you get one of their drinks again!?"
"Nooooooo," Her words slurred before kissing him hard and making his chair fall backwards.
"...Should we stop her?" Shamal stood up to go over there but found Hayate pulling her sleeve back down.
"She doesn't know what to do anyway, leave them be."
Vita looked behind her when she felt weight on her back. "Nanoha? Oi, Nanoha?"
"Hmmm...?" The birthday girl opened her eyes weakly. "Vita-chan?"
The small girl blushed lightly when she felt herself being embraced. "H-hey, don't cuddle me!"
"Vita-chaaaaaaan," Nanoha rubbed her cheek against hers.
"Don't just sit there, get her off of me!" Vita glared at the people just watching. "Kya, don't put your hand up my shirt!!"
"Vita has small breast," She giggled out.
"So anyway," Fate turned to those left at the table, ignoring the other two. "Since we've shared so much already, I want to say I love all of you."
"Okay, Fate's had enough." Signum reached out and took the glass away from her. "No more for you little missy. I'm not going to sit through another one of your 'I love you guys' routines."
"Mou..." Fate pouted but didn't make a move to retrieve her glass. "I'm not that drunk. I mean," She turned to point at Amy and found her leaning against Chrono's shoulder with her eyes closed. "I'm not as bad as she is."
"How are we going to get home anyway?" Hayate asked sleepily. "I'm feeling woozy, I'd like to get in bed. Doesn't Haseo normally take everyone back to the base when they get drunk, Vita?" The redhead was too preoccupied with Nanoha, now turned in her lap so they were facing each other and making out sloppily. "Okay, never mind."
Signum raised her glass to Haseo, catching his attention and calling him over. "I'm sorry, could you help us out again tonight?"
The silver haired man sighed and looked at the group. "I knew I should have cut you off..." His eyes trailed down and peeked under the table. "Whoa, get dressed you two, party's over!"
Hayate blushed darkly, quickly looking under the table. "Whoa! Guess she does know what to do!"
"So..." Haseo scratched his cheek. "I'll... go get the drunk bus. I'll be back soon." He got a few nods on his way. "Happy Birthday, Nanoha." He pet the girl on the head as he passed.
Nanoha mumbled something against Vita's lips before hiccuping. "Awesome birthday..."
