Shepard left the battery with mixed emotions that left her heavy with fatigue. After a quick status report from the newly enhanced EDI (how the hell she was ever going to get used to this sexbot was beyond her, but at least seeing Joker look like a kid eternally locked inside a candy store was reason enough to keep the AI on board) she decided that they only way to rest her otherwise restless thoughts would be to head to her oasis: the cargo bay.

She should've known Vega would've already have claimed her usual work out area; she could hear him groaning his pull up count as soon as the elevator beeped open. Though originally seeking solitude, perhaps she needed some socialization after all.

Vega dropped down from his pull up bar, cracking his neck. Shepard motioned her head towards the sparring mats in the corner, tucked behind crates, and raised her eyebrows in questioning. He nodded, and they took up their stances on the mats.

"So you and that turian have a history, eh Lola?" Vega certainly didn't dance around the subject as he attempted to dance around her punches. Their sparring match didn't even land a single hit before he dove into the subject Shepard was trying to avoid.

"Since we're doling out nicknames, how about I call you 'Bull'? You don't seem to mind butting in and aren't what I'd call," she dodged a clumsy but powerful jab aimed at her jaw, which she easily countered by throwing him off balance and flipping him over onto the mat, back flat, "graceful," she sneered, but offered a hand to pull him up.

"That hurts, Lola. I'm wounded," he feigned a blow to the chest.

"I'm sure your pride will recover in no time, Mr. Vega!" their shuttle pilot called out from under his Kodiak.

They continued their banter, though Vega was careful not to bring up the subject of Garrus again. Shepard made a point of trying to get to know her new crew members, but eventually declined a game of poker as she felt the day's battles begin to wear on her tired frame, enhanced as it was. She got in the elevator and pushed the button that would take her to her cabin.


The steam didn't take long to fill the small bathroom, as the heat swirled around her, she couldn't help but feel his cool talons gently caress her stomach as he wrapped himself around her. Being shirtless for so long, he was getting cold quickly and she knew the easiest way to warm him again would be with a hot shower. Cold blooded, she remembered him explaining once.

But the thought of being away from him, knowing that she would be grounded soon and he needing to return to his own people, she didn't want to spend even the briefest of moments without him. So naturally, this shower was meant to be shared. His touch was welcome and she backed into him easily. Surprise widened her eyes as she turned around to face him: he undressed so quickly she didn't expect to feel so much of him so soon.

"What is it about you being wet that is so fascinating to me?" he wondered out loud, tracing the water as it fell from her hair to her shoulders...and eventually stopping at her collar bone.

"And what is so fascinating about my squishy shoulders?" she replied his questioning with one of her own, which seemed to embarrass him as he pulled his hand away. She stopped him though, and with her own hand placed his back to his preferred spot, though curiosity soon got the better of her.

She remembered how he always reacted so strongly when she would touch the leather of his unplated neck, particularly when moving to the small dip where it met his shoulder. At first, he would caution her, even take her hands away if she lingered too long. But she knew it pleased him, and wondered why he never gave in to the sensation.

Dr. Solus had suggested pamphlets, even vids, that explained turian mating rituals, courtship practices, even erogenous zones. But it felt too clinical, almost like she was violating his privacy, if she found this information out from anything other than Garrus. She regretted her decision to not investigate further, but thought that this was a good a time as any to find out for herself.

Slowly, cautiously, she brought her hand to his scarred plate. He leaned into her touch, opening up a window for her to bring her lips to his. Methodically she worked her hand from his scar to his mandible, grazing her finger against its hard length, as her other hand dangled gently behind his neck. She had to stretch to reach up that far, tall as he was. This seemed to please him as he sank deeper into her kiss, working his talons carefully against her lower back. A deep rumble could be heard coming from his chest, tight as she was now against him, the vibration could be felt in the pit of her own belly. This gave her courage to move her hand further down to the sweet spot of his neck. The rumble turned into a satisfied growl, sub harmonics growing deeper and awakening an ache inside her.

"Careful."

It was almost a reflex now.

"Not my style, Vakarian," her white teeth flashed a devilish grin as her mouth found the forbidden dip of unclaimed territory. It would be claimed now, and she would see him totally come undone at last.

He had always been so buttoned up, so careful with her before. She knew he was worried to hurt her with his hard plating and sharp features, particularly when up against her tender flesh. But now the humming in his chest grew near-feral as his mouth gaped open, head reared back in delight.

"Shepard…" he pleaded, his control growing thin. She was playing with fire, but she didn't care. She wanted him, needed him to completely give in to her. After all he had done for her through these crazy years, her desire for him was unrelenting. No matter how much she thought she was ready to play with this fire, she wasn't ready for the burn.

His talons suddenly were not satisfied with staying safely on her lower back. One clutched her hair, the other held a firm grip on her ass. She yelped in surprise, but did not budge from her position. This drove him into a frenzy, sinking his lower talons deeper, which only strengthened her resolve as a slight sigh escaped, betraying her. The growls grew deeper. A hunger was filling in with the steam.

Suddenly she was flipped, pinned against the shower wall. She could feel him against her backside. All of him. His talons grew bolder and deeper against her skin, tiny droplets of blood spilling in their wake. This did nothing to calm him, now ravenous. He began to bring a talon close to her own neck, when it snapped.

She saw the blood pooling in with the water. Her body rigid, she could not hide her panic from him now. Her heart cold in her chest, arms instinctively wrapping around herself. The pressure he applied before was now gone, he backed away abruptly, quickly fighting the haze that clouded his reasoning.

"No…" she muttered meekly, "No, no no, please no…" the shower hid her tears, but the water did no favors for her sanity. She slid to the floor, curling in on herself both physically and mentally.

"Spirits, Shepard, I-" his apology was cut short by her choking, labored breaths. He quickly turned the water off, running to get a towel to drape over her. At this she completely came undone.

"NO! GET OFF-GET OFF ME!" she swatted, rather, punched his arms away at the touch of the towel against her. Her eyes grew wide in terror as her mind betrayed her. She couldn't let him see her like this, he couldn't be here. "LEAVE!"

He backed out of the washroom slowly, whispering her name with a look on his face she didn't recognize, but was sure he was completely repulsed. He couldn't be here. She hadn't gone back here in so long.

Rain dripped down her flame colored hair, blood pooling at a puddle, mixed with water, at her bare feet. Her eyes focused there, afraid to look up to the horror in front of her 16 year old eyes. Irina...no….her mind could not contain what had happened. An Alliance soldier draped a blanket across her shoulders, offering her a smile.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok now, we gotcha, it's alright," he tried to get her to untense her muscles, but they wouldn't budge. The weight of the blanket now on top of her, she now went from rigid to rabid. Her long nails lashing at everything near her, teeth glaring, a blue light suring across her skin making everything tingle in a sickening pleasure.

"Holy hell," a soldier gaped, getting out of her reach, "Someone get a sedative!"

His words barely escaped his mouth as the full might of her biotics surged at him, sending him flying and screaming. Her attention on the danger in front, she did not noticed the first soldier with the blanket come up behind her, sending a sting in her neck, her eyes heavy.

"Thank you…" her eyes went black.


Any other night, and Shepard would have called Garrus up to her cabin, thinking of some ridiculous excuse to have him near her. But tonight, remembering their last encounter in full glory, she knew she couldn't face him. They hadn't talked about it since, and she was convinced it was because he was so repulsed by her break in psyche. Sure she had broke down in front of him before, but never had she went back there in front of him.

If someone read her files, they would see her place of origin as "COLONIST", leaving out the specific and gruesome details of exactly which colony and for exactly what reason she left. She enlisted the day she turned 18, and never looked back. Her career was spotless, eager to give back to the Alliance that saved her two years before. These were the people that finally trained her biotics, though it took time for her to actually use them, still ashamed at the damage her raw power had caused. She poured herself into her training, treating it as her own type of therapy, which was better by all means than the asari run nut-house they put her in. At 16 she was still underage to join, and knowing that she was exposed to some sort of trauma as they pulled her out of the grips of slavers, they put her in the care of the best place for her to recover. She knew the Alliance would look bad for not taking care of the pirates who abducted an entire colony to slavery, with only a single survivor, so they countered this image by assigning one of the soldiers who saved her to be there during her time with the asari.

Kaiden Alenko was the one who finally coaxed her biotics out of her shell, telling her the story of Rahna and how he too was ashamed of his power. She felt comfort in sharing this strange burden in a small way with another human, though she could never reveal the truest cause of shame that these biotic gifts held for her. The asari were informed of her raw, unfocused but lethal power that she displayed during her rescue and had all failed in getting her to use it again, safely. It took Kaiden and his story, in the shade of a secluded tree, for her to feel the blue electricity pulse against her skin again.

He was with her throughout her training, throughout her first missions. She knew he cared for her, but she also knew that he respected the fact that she was too damaged to reciprocate what she felt. It wasn't that he was older-he was only two years her senior- it was that she was terrified to let anyone in. Losing everyone before your eyes had a funny way of changing a person, she laughed to him once.

It was during that talk that Kaiden had got his first migraine from his implant. It sent him to his knees, hands clawing at his head, whimpering out. It was this migraine that made him get benched in the medbay as Shepard was assigned to her first mission without him on Elysium. The Batarians there did not stand a chance against her wrath, which in turn earned her a medal and a ticket into the N7 program. It wasn't until Anderson contacted her about the Normandy shakedown run that she finally saw him again. Kaiden still pined for her, but kept his distance as the mission progressively got a lot more complicated.

As new members of the team came aboard, Shepard found a way to connect to every one of them, alien as they were. With Tali, it was her fascination with her new surroundings and apparent homesickness that sparked a protective spirit in Shepard as she quickly became a big sister to this pilgrim Quarian. With Wrex, his hard shell was easy to crack under the charming skills of conversation that Shepard would open onto him. She invoked a big, protective, papa bear of a Krogan without even meaning to, and she loved the big guy all the more for it. It was easy to connect with Liara, familiar with asari as bringing her back from the brink, she engrossed herself in their traditions, customs, and even language. The bookish scientist took great interest in her as well, though many assumed because of Shepard's contact with the Prothean beacon.

But it was Garrus that truly brought her alive. She had never really known many turians, and only knew of their species what her training had taught her as necessary. This made her nervous around him, uneasy as she was crossing into unfamiliar territory with this new alien. She wanted to be respectful to this new teammate, terrified to offend him knowing of their frightening prowess and quick, lingering tempers. To her relief, he wasn't a very good turian, and quickly became one of her closest allies.

She couldn't help but bring him on almost every important mission, from Therum to Virmire, and then she would find herself debriefing her stresses with him, laughing at how quickly missions could go south.

There was one night in the cargo bay, him working on the Mako as she sat on a stack of tires, handing him tools, where she finally confessed her unease about him being a turian. He was baffled, even removed himself out completely from under the rover her was working on to look at her, a smile forming by his mandibles.

"No I'm serious! I've heard all these stories of these vicious space lobsters with terrifying tempers that could claw through an entire platoon- and one was coming on my ship! What the hell was I supposed to think?" she couldn't help but laugh at herself as she said it, as she could feel the deep hum of his own amusement as he sat beside her.

"Well I hate to break your well reasoned view of my species, but unfortunately that isn't really the case," he still chuckled as he leaned back, his ribs sore from laughing.

"Isn't really? So it's kinda true? I'm not crazy!"

"Well, see," his laugh subsided, a look of...was it embarrassment? spreading over his face. "Turians don't go into full on rage fests. Otherwise, we would be no better than the blood crazed krogan. But when it comes to our bondmates, well that's a different story,"he twiddled his fingers, looking at his hands. It was the first time he ever mentioned anything about turian relationships. Come to think of it, it was the first time he mentioned any type of relationship. Something about that sent a wave of heat over her face, betraying her. She was glad he wasn't looking at her to see it.

"What do you mean?" she pried. She couldn't help it, she had to know everything about this alien, no matter the embarrassment.

"You have to understand that bonding for turians is deeper than your human infatuations-it's a biological change. The pheromones from females create this change for the males and the same for the other way around. The males become protective, possessive even. Losing a bondmate is like losing yourself, I've seen turians break from that before. The link between the two is so strong, there isn't going back,"

"Wait, so no casual flings?"

"I'm sounding way too clinical," they both laughed, "No we definitely can keep it casual. In fact it's ah... pretty common to blow off steam by taking it back to someone's quarters. But if it's taken further, if it's a real relationship, then that's when there is a true bonding and everything is rainbows," he suddenly realized that he had never shared this information with any alien before, and the fact of which made it hard to look at this human sitting beside him. But he could feel the warmth of her smile even if he couldn't see it, and her steady heartbeat gave him the courage to look up.

"So this rage...you just get overjoyed with a good lay and go on a rampage? So everyone can know about it?" he gave her a playful shove at that remark, knowing she was curious even if she was joking.

"As macho as that sounds, it's more primal than that. You probably know from your training that turians have heightened senses?" she nodded, suddenly aware of the sound her heartbeat was making in her ears. "Since we are bonded, we get this sense whenever our mate is in danger. If that is the case, then that is when mayhem ensues," he hoped that this human was done with her uncomfortable questioning.

"Are you two fairy princesses done talking about bondage yet? I thought krogans were kinky!" a deep voice could be heard from across the cargo bay, immediately recognizable as Wrex.

"Now Wrex, I thought you were going to keep our dirty deep secrets between the two of us," Shepard jokingly cooed back. With that, they all three erupted into laughter that continued until they suited up and boarded the Citadel.