Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and many of the characters, they are property of J. K. Rowling. The quote is property of Miranda July, taken from short story "Something That Needs Nothing" that can be found in her book No One Belongs Here More Than You (which is amazing, go read it).

In an ideal world, we would have been orphans. We felt like orphans and we felt deserving of the pity that orphans get,

but embarrassingly enough, we had parents.

-Miranda July ‒ "Something That Needs Nothing"

'Are you sure you have to go?'

'Justine...'

'I'm just saying, maybe there is a way you can stay? Ask her again, oh please ask her!'

'You are acting as if I want to go!' I cried out, throwing a final piece of my clothes into the trunk. I did not feel like folding it.

Justine was sitting on the bed, looking at me with her worst and prettiest puppy eyes. She finally sighed, falling backwards on the bed, 'You are killing me.'

I lay down beside her. 'It is just a year. We just have to go through this year and then you can come to Britain-' her sigh interrupted me 'or- I can come to France!'

'Why would they let you come in a year when you have to go now?' she asked in a child-like voice.

'Because, I'll let you in on a secret.' I leaned in and whispered in her ear, 'I will be out of the school! Gasp!'

'You are silly!' she punched me meekly, but let out a giggle as well. 'Why do you even have to go now anyway?'

'Ma is paranoid. She obviously thinks the Dark Lord will come all the way to France for me and snatch me in the middle of the night from this poorly protected castle. As if he even knows about me.' I tried to laugh, but Justine still looked up sadly at the ceiling.

'It's not funny. I am still scared even though you are going to be beside Dumbledore. If He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is really back, then your mother is right, he might come for you,' she finally looked at me. Her big, blue eyes were not sad anymore; she was frightened, but determined. 'Remember that the name of Lestrange is spoken with fear, even in France.'

Justine was one of the few that knew who my parents really were. She was among the first friends I've ever made in Beauxbatons and certainly the closest person I've had. We never separated since becoming the first year, we shared a room and shared kisses and we wanted to share our whole lives with one another. Justine was the only one I've ever told, but she knew how to keep a secret and she knew how to love me despite all.

'That is because once upon a time some French Lestranges immigrated to Britain; they are scared it might happen again.' Justine groaned at this, quite irritated now. 'Oh, relax drama queen! You are not helping me here! Hey, I am the one going to that indecent, second-class fortress, as you call Hogwarts! I am the one who should mope around! You will be here, in you pretty dresses in your silky sheets, attending piano lessons and singing with nymphs! You will stay here, looking at all the beautiful French girls-'

'You know I won't!'

'And I will be stuck with all British people! Did you even see what they look like?'

'Lollia!' she yelled ‒ she would only use my full name when she was absolutely irritated, as she was now. In order to silence her, I kissed her. She did not protest.

'My offer stays. You can still come to Britain,' I whispered again between kisses.

We both knew it was a lie. If the Dark Lord was really back, if he was coming for me, if he was about to attack Britain… then it was safer for my dear, muggle-born Justine to be far, far away from me.

On the first day of my return from France, I've been silent during the dinner, hoping that my anger would not go unnoticed. Dora and dad were acting awkwardly, while ma happily chatted as if nothing was happening. Being ignored only made me feel angrier to the point where I just stood and left the table, muttering a cold 'Good night' in Dora and dad's direction, avoiding ma's gaze completely.

She could not resist though - I heard her footsteps fifteen minutes later and she stopped at the door of my room. 'Sometimes I think we should not have you let you have your way all of the time, Lola,' she said in a voice that was surprisingly not angry. I turned to look at her to notice she was smiling.

'My way? You're shattering all I have...'

'Not me,' she cut me off firmly. 'He is.'

I felt that the Dark Lord has been the elephant in the room ever since the moment I stepped into the house. No one mentioned a word of his return, but there were moments we knew what was it all about, such as nervous glances around the table when Dora said she is staying late at work tomorrow. Ma's bold mention of him made me frown with anger. 'You made me go to Hogwarts.'

She sighed, looking so much older than she was. 'How don't you understand? We've always wanted what's best for you, safest for you, and now you're on the edge of a pit, Lola - you can be hurt. He might come for you. You could die. I am not as evil as you're making me out to be. I am your mother and maybe the problem is I did not act as one enough until now.' I opened my mouth to interrupt, but she quickly continued, 'We let you go to another school when you cried and begged - understandable, you were scared of the judgement. We gave you everything - everything you wanted - because life has been rough on you since the very start. All I am asking now is for you to be reasonable for once. I've seen and lived through more things than you did. He has a talent for shattering things and I just want you as close to me as possible, so we can overcome it. Never forget that Bellatrix, Narcissa and I were as close as Lin, Dora and you are now.'

She knew where to hit me and how to hit hard; after Lin and I stopped asking questions ten years ago and started calling her ma, Bellatrix was not mentioned, as far as I could recall, not once. I felt a mixture of anger and sadness in my stomach - anger because Dark Lord was breaking my family apart once again and sadness because of every question I had whenever my biological mother was mentioned.

I walked over to Andromeda and hugged her the tightest, I could 'I'm sorry. I am just scared... I am so very scared of the unknown.'

'I know, my lamb, shhh,' she petted my hair and kissed top of the head 'Don't worry, it will all pass. It has to, one day.'

That summer remained in my memory as a collage of light, bright colours, pretty flowers and tasty cakes. The memory is a strange thing; it makes beauty evident in the ordinary things and blurs out fright and the anticipation. Thinking about that summer, I must have been angry, hurt and scared in those three months. Yet somehow it all got lost in swirling memories of domestic activities, dad and Lin's endless chess games, and immense work in ma's garden. Never before or after have I seen her garden that beautiful.

Dora was not home as much. But when she was there we would make the most of our time together. Ma was fussy about the noise we made, constantly making comments that we are not seven anymore and that we are too old for dress-ups and dolls, but it only made us behave more silly and foolish. Perhaps we knew, given the circumstances, that it might be the last time we would have the luxury of being in our home.

Dora never talked about her Auror's duty, and Lin and I never asked. We wanted the war to be so far, far away. That was how Dora was different from Lin and me - she always wanted to be involved. On the other hand, the two of us were always ready to make up the most impossible fairytale worlds just so we could run away in our perfect scenarios. That proved to be our downfall.

'Come on, come on, don't be late!' Andromeda was yelling through the house the morning we were supposed to leave for Hogwarts.

'Don't you have a job?' Lin asked, confused, putting her head with a mane of messy hair out of the door. People who knew Lin in her childhood always thought her hair was straight, silky and heavy. The truth was, all the straightening was done by ma Andromeda - Lin didn't think hair was something which she should waste her time on. On top of that, Lin insisted on keeping her hair long.

As expected, ma made a displeasured face as she waved her wand in the direction of Lin's hair. 'Did you even start packing? Come on, I took the day off to take you to the station!'

I took my trunk out of my room, already dressed up and ready for leaving. Lin gave me a look telling me that I have betrayed her. 'And what about Dora, couldn't she have taken us?'

Ma clicked with her tongue 'Ask Alastor Moody about that.' The look on my face obviously gave away that I didn't even know who that was, because she continued to explain 'Nymphadora had to go to do her work for the... To go to the station with Harry Potter.'

'Whoa!' I exclaimed, 'Our sister, a celebrity bodyguard!'

Ma ignored me, 'Lin, please, give me your trunk if you are done packing...'

'Just a few more books...'

'Marcelina!'

'Alright!' Angrily, Lin pushed her half-open trunk out of the door and a few robes fell out. She was still in her pyjamas. 'If I forget anything it will be your fault!' Ma looked as if she was ready to strangle her. She opened the trunk and started folding clothes with her wand, since Lin had just thrown everything, finding folding incredibly mundane and unnecessary. Being able to finally do magic out of school, I joined in.

'You are good at this,' ma noticed, 'I did not know you had a thing for domestic spells.'

I felt proud - ma was the best when it comes to domestic spells. It had to do with her obsessive love for organization and neatness. 'Well, professors said I developed quite well this year...' I said, bragging a little.

Ma nodded, 'So I read on the report, I just had to see it to believe it.' We smiled to each other and she pinched my cheek 'I know you hate this, but I am glad you are going to Hogwarts. It is an amazing school with some of the best witches and wizards of England teaching in it, and Dumbledore is the most amazing headmaster in the world.'

I zipped up Lin's trunk and we were done. 'I don't hate it,' I finally admitted and smiled, 'But you would think that someone put a polyjuiced non-spoiled brat under your roof if I didn't complain at least a bit!'

She laughed and kissed my cheek, before yelling at the door once more, 'Marcelina, you have exactly three minutes to get out, or we are leaving you behind and I will personally make sure you get detention with Snape for every day until the rest of the year. I am counting seconds - one - two - three - four...'

When we slit through the wall between platforms nine and ten, I stood and tried to take in everything that was happening around me. A big red train was huffing with coils of smoke, waiting for us, and there were dozens of kids around, laughing, yelling, meeting their friends and saying goodbyes to their parents. While no student was in robes yet, lots of them had yellow, red, green or blue details on their clothes or at least their house scarves, despite the warm weather. 'Houses are not important my ass,' I mumbled to Lin as she appeared through the wall. 'Do you know anyone to introduce me to, or will I have to stand on my own?'

Lin was forth year at Hogwarts now - while I was dead afraid of my parent's reputation, she seemed to have no sense of it. She didn't even think someone could connect her to Lestranges. I always wondered where did this difference between us come from. Was it because I remembered our parents? Was it because I looked so much like Bellatrix? Or was I generally more connected to it all? The fact was, I was always more Lestrange, while Lin was always purely Tonks.

'Well, you know someone,' ma pointed to the old lady who was waving at us.

'No, I-' and then I realized, 'Dora! That must be your ugliest look ever!' I said, approaching her.

'Not as ugly as when I posed looking like you,' she nudged me. 'Hey, Harry, these are my sisters. Lin, Lola, 'tis famous Harry Potter.'

The boy with messy black hair and glasses smiled at me, but my eyes immediately found his scar. Something in my stomach tightened - this boy, this tiny, skinny boy was the downfall of the Dark Lord. He changed the history of the Wizarding world and, most importantly, changed my life forever. 'Pleasure!' I managed to smile widely, giving him my hand. As Lin did the same, the big black dog beside Harry growled, 'I don't think your dog likes me very much.'

Dora frowned looking at it, 'Maybe he was out for too long now, ah?'

'Oh good, here's Alastor with the luggage, look!' the redhead woman beside them pointed at the platform and a whole bunch of people started slowly coming out.

'This is all your entourage?' I asked Harry.

He smiled. 'Some. Most of them are friends.'

Nearly all of them were redheads, dressed up in red. 'Gryffindor, I suspect?' I asked, feeling proud to show off my limited knowledge about Hogwarts.

'All of us,' one of the tall redheads heard me, 'I'm Ron Weasley.'

'Lola Tonks, the old lady's sister.' I nodded in Dora's direction.

'Which house are you in?' asked Ron, not noticing any house colour on my black and white dress.

'Oh, we are about to see that - this one here was way too stupid to start Hogwarts on time, so she's starting it for the first time now at the age of seventeen,' Dora interfered, putting her arm around me.

The redhead boy seemed confused, not sure if he ought to believe Dora. I laughed, 'Seventh year, I'm starting seventh year. I am transferred from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. Ma wants me safe with, well, current political current events.'

Harry nodded beside me - I was glad he knew I trusted him, as I was already aware of Ministry's policy of treating his story as a madman's tale.

'Hey, you will be the same year as the twins.' Dora noticed, 'Fred, George, this one here is my sister, she's transferring to your year. Keep an eye on her, if she's messing around.'

'Yeah, if you need any help with messing around, you will know where to find us,' the left one winked.

I laughed, overwhelmed with the wave of new faces, trying to remember the names of all the redheads. 'Well, I guess it's time you part,' Dora said looking at the clock. 'It's been great meeting all of you, we'll see you soon, I expect,' she said to the redhead crowd and Harry. They smiled and took their luggage. 'And you two, be well,' she hugged Lin and I together. 'Write everything and don't worry,' she kissed me loudly.

'You're embarrassing us, grandma!' Lin yelled mockingly as ma finally approached us.

'Hope it will be fun, and what Nymphadora said - don't worry.'

'Nah, I'll leave all the worrying to you.' I winked and hugged her. 'I love you, ma.'

'Love you too, duck.'

'Hurry, hurry, you'll miss it!' Dora cried out as the engine started. We jumped into the train and waved to them one last time.

'Well, now, let's hurry up and take some good compartment,' Lin said looking around.

'Don't you have some of your friends to be with?' I asked, unsure.

She turned and smiled, 'I told them I have to take care of my dumb sister who is incapable of taking care of herself.'

We spent a good amount of ride talking about the teachers, stuff and what I could expect from them. I was making notes in my head - don't step on Snape's toes if you are not Slytherin, don't step on Filch's toes in general, don't sleep way too often at the History of Magic and so on.

'I am not sure about Alchemy, didn't have that one yet - I am so jealous that you were able to take it, I can't wait for it,' Lin said, frowning a bit.

'And what about Defence Against The Dark Arts?' I asked.

'Oh, the professor changes every year,' she said simply, 'I have no idea who will it be this year. Hopefully, not an ex-Death Eater.'

'What?' I shrieked.

She chuckled, though in an unamused way. 'Come on, you don't even know how You-Know-Who rose to his powers again?'

'I tried to ignore all the stories,' I admitted 'But do go on, I didn't plan on sleeping tonight anyway.'

'So, you know the name of Barty Crouch, Junior?' I nodded, panic rising up in me, 'Well, he pretended, with polyjuice potion, to be Alastor Moody, famous Auror, the one we saw at the platform now. So he, Crouch Junior, helped him rise up again by getting Harry involved in Triwizard Tournament and delivering him to You-Know-Who during the last task. Hufflepuff champion was killed,' she added, obviously not too pleased that she had to retell about these events.

I sank back into my seat, trying to remember how ma thought this might be good idea - if my parents' old colleagues could sneak into Hogwarts even beside Dumbledore, this was not the best idea in the world. 'I met him, you know. Barty Crouch Junior.' I said after a long silence, not looking at Lin. The lack of protest she usually expresses when I mention our parents made me continue, 'When- When Dark Lord vanished, he came over a few times. He was a very nervous young man, maybe a bit older than I am now. But he always got me candy and played with me. Moth- Bellatrix, she always made him babysit me since he was doing it well, it was fun for toddler-me. I remember that he was beside himself a few times, screaming and crying. Bellatrix she- she was yelling a lot at him. But, that time when they came back from torturing-'

'Please don't!' Lin finally spoke up and I looked at her. She had a look on her face as if she was going to be sick, 'I don't want to know. I am disgusted enough as it is. That man, he - he praised me for my work and skill. Now I realize he knew who I was, so it makes sense... He said that he knew my parents and that they would be proud- And I thought he meant Andromeda and Ted... Not- you know...'

Lin could not go on; she fell silent again, looking out of the window. She didn't like connecting to that part of our past, even though she had no memories of our birth parents.

When we were kids, she wanted to know - every night she would ask me to tell her the stories of our "real mama and papa". But over the time her interest burned out; sometimes I would start talking to myself at night and she would interrupt me. 'I don't care,' she finally said when she was nine, 'They are terrible people and we should forget about them. Andromeda and Ted are my parents. They are just an awful twist of fate.' It was a shock to me - I loved both Andromeda and Ted and I considered them parents, but as a child it seemed so terribly exciting that my other parents were so famous. And my memories were vivid - I remembered Bellatrix's laugh and the smell of uncle Rabastan's cigarette, I was the one father Rodolphus bought little green robes for. Lin never had that and there was a huge pit between us when it came to that. It sometimes felt as if I was the only one adopted, that Lin was actually Tonks' by birth. Even when it comes to looks there is a difference between us - Lin ended up looking like a strange mixture of our parents, but her eyes were wide and blue like uncle's and they have always seemed kinder than mine ‒ all the resemblance she had to our mother was shared with Andromeda, and her eyes could easily pass as Ted's. At the same time I knew I was the spitting image of my mother, growing more so with age ‒ I had the same high cheekbones, same heavy waves of black hair, same dark and lidded eyes and, most importantly, same determined look in them.

The compartment door suddenly opened, dragging me back to present as a slender boy with nearly white-blond hair peaked in, 'Routine check-up,' he smiled arrogantly to the girl beside him, 'We're Slytherin prefects so we have to take care and see if everything is good.'

'It's all well here, except for the lack of trolley with sweets, so if you can do something about that, it would be splendid,' Lin said in a bored voice.

'I am not a servant,' the boy said with disgust and then looked at me, noticeably less pleased than a moment ago, 'Who are you anyway? I didn't see you before.'

'You couldn't have seen me. I transferred from Beauxbatons to finish my last year here-'

His face suddenly lit up. 'So it is you! Father told me you would transfer,' he said, coming into the compartment uninvited. I looked at Lin, confused, trying to see if I should know this boy, but she was looking at the window again, biting her lip. 'Good to finally meet you. I am Draco Malfoy.'

I knew, now, what this was all about – the Malfoys were my family and this boy here was my cousin. Deciding to completely ignore it, I shook his hand, 'Whatever that means. Good for you! Lola Tonks.'

The look on Draco's face told me he was quite amused. I was not sure whether he would try to befriend me instantly or if he might mention that he knows what my birth name was. Luckily, he did neither. 'My pleasure, Lola. I guess I will see you around. Perhaps we will end up in the same house.' He glanced at Lin and then back at me; seeing the resemblance he realized who she was as well, but he only smirked. The girl behind him was confused and they finally left the compartment.

I sighed loudly, looking at the ceiling, 'Was coming to Hogwarts really a good idea?'

Lin did not speak for a while, and then, she finally muttered, 'I guess we'll know soon enough.' Then, as if this all was my fault, she opened her book, not speaking a word for the rest of the journey.