North East Seireitei
9:12 AM
Soi Fon
I was dragging my feet heavily, we were headed back to the apartment. Yoruichi walked confidently by my side. I felt like shit. My high was wearing off and the shakes were setting in. Not to mention the hangover was starting. I need some Vicodin and sleep fast. I lit up another cigarette hoping to take the edge off.
"You really shouldn't smoke those." Yoruichi chimed in.
"La la la, I don't hear your words." I said back
"Whats wrong with you? Did you just go off the deep end after I left?" Yup, Yoruichi just hit a touchy subject.
I stopped in my tracks and pulled up my sunglasses. "I want you to look into my eyes."
"Alright." Yoruichi said skeptically.
"Now look into my eyes and tell me if it looks like I give a fuck." I stared into Yoruichi's eyes.
Yoruichi stumbled over her words. "Uh-um well, I just, well no it doesn't look like you give a fuck.
I flipped my shades down. "That's because I really don't give a fuck, now come on vagina sucker I need some prescription drugs and a nap."
I turned and started walking again and Yoruichi followed. We made it back to my apartment shortly. I went to my room and grabbed a pill and then I went to the kitchen and grabbed a Corona out of the fridge. Throwing back the pill I downed it with the beer. I walked back to the living room were Yoruichi was sitting on the couch. I collapsed face down on the carpet and started to pet it.
"This carpet is so wonderful I wish I could fuck it." I mumbled.
Yoruichi got up from the couch and started to rub my bare back. "Hey Bee you should really go sleep in your bed."
"Bee, Bee, buzz, buzz, why don't you buzz out of here and go fuck yourself?" My words seemed to have no affect on her.
"Can you get up?" She asked sweetly.
"Can't….move…mind…is…being…fucked." I said under my breath.
She put her hands under me and scooped me into her arms. I would have protested but the Vicodin was taking a strong hold on me and I was fading fast. She walked us into my room and put me on my bed. She pulled the covers over me and kissed me on the head. Then I was gone.
Yoruichi looked at the passed out girl in front of her. Was this her doing? When she left did it turn Soi Fon into a washed up drunk? Did she really mess her up this bad? She felt the guilt rising, she had to make this right again.
Soi Fon's Apartment
2:47 PM
Soi Fon
I was dreaming about something maybe, but I was almost awake. I felt someone….on top of me and hands on me? The hands were touching my skin. What the hell was this? I shot straight up throwing the person off me. I jumped out of bed and grabbing the lamp I hit them over the head. They fell to the ground, then got back up. I kicked them in the stomach and knocked them over I jumped on top and grabbed their collar with my hands.
"You try to fuck on me?" I yelled.
It was Yoruichi. "No, no, no one is trying to fuck on you!"
"You try to make sex on me?" I screamed back.
"No, no I'm not making sex on you I was trying to wake you up. You have a Captain's meeting at three!" Yoruichi gasped.
I stopped yelling and looked at the clock. 2:47.
"Fuck my ass!" I yelled.
I tripped over Yoruichi and started running for the door.
"Wait Soi Fon what about your clothes?" Yoruichi yelled.
"No time!" I yelled back ripping open the door.
I sprinted out running along the corridors and streets. I was running down a street when I saw Rangiku approaching.
"Good morning Captain!" She greeted me with a warm smile.
I ran past her and then turned around. I pushed up my boobs with my hands and looked at her.
"S-LUT!" I yelled.
Then I turned around and started to run again. Rangiku looked back stunned. I was close I made it to the building and took the steps three at a time. I made to the doors and I burst in with two minutes to spare. All of the captains were already arranged in their spots. All eyes were on me and they looked shocked. I said nothing and took my place on the left side.
Old man Yamamoto entered and began the meeting. It was just simple weekly reports nothing big. But being second squad I was unfortunately going to be one of the very first to report. The squad one captain gave his report and then it was my turn to step forward. I took a deep breath, I couldn't hide this. I stepped forward with no clothes on and sharpie all over me.
"Nothing from squad two sir!"
I was about to step back.
"Hold on one moment captain." Yamamoto spoke deeply.
He moved from his head position, which he never does and walked straight up to me. I gulped and kept my eyes forward not looking at him.
"Let me have a look at you." He started. "Hmm where is your captain's uniform?"
I took a deep breath. "Somewhere Sir."
"Yes and were is Somewhere Captain Fon?" He questioned.
"Not here." I said back.
"So somewhere, but not here. That's odd. And let's look at your chest it says "Fuck Bitches" in sharpie. Do you fuck bitches Soi Fon?"
I had to keep it cool. "No sir I do not fuck bitches."
"Ok and on your stomach it says "Penis in your ass." Did you put your penis in someone's ass Soi Fon?"
I gulped. "No sir I do not have a penis."
"If you had a penis would you put it in someone's ass captain?"
"No sir I would um probably put it in a vagina."
Yamamoto stopped or a minute and spoke again. "Are you a lesbian Soi Fon?"
"Um no sir not a lesbian."
"Then why would you put you hypothetical penis in someone's vagina?"
I had to find a good answer for this one. "Well Sir I was thinking more of like a Mangina."
Yamamoto was silent for a minute. I could tell all of the other captains were desperately holding in their laughter.
"I see thank you very much captain Soi Fon you may resume your place."
I stepped back thankful it was over. I was expecting a punishment obviously, but I guess public embarrassment in front of my peers was how Old Man Yamamoto was going to handle my intolerable actions. I guess I could take it. Although I was never going to hear the end of this from the other captains.
The rest of the meeting went on as usual the rest of the captains giving mediocre reports. When we were dismissed I was happy to get out. Everyone slowly filed out the double doors and I made my way to the balcony. I saw Captain Kyoraku approaching me. Oh god here it comes.
"Well hello there Captain Fon been fucking bitches lately? He laughed.
"Haha very funny you have no idea what kind of night I had, I almost got killed." I retorted.
He cocked his head to the side "Is that so? Anything else?"
I pulled out a cigarette. Kyoraku pulled out his lighter and lit me up.
"Yeah there is more I think I hooked up with a transsexual man."
"Well that is very interesting." He winked.
"It was a little confusing though, I was like what? Am I supposed to put my mouth on that or what's the deal?"
Kyoraku looked puzzled. "Put your mouth on what exactly?"
"That's exactly my point there is nothing there so what exactly do I put my mouth on? Do you feel what I'm saying?" I explained.
"I see." Kyoraku hummed. "I have an idea, since you seem to like drinking so much why don't you come over to my place and have some sake with me?
I shot him a death glare. "False, I will be going nowhere with you fuzzy face. Just because I don't have any pants on doesn't mean you will be getting in them anytime soon."
Kyoraku walked past me waving his hand. "Have it your way. I suppose you could just go home and fuck Yoruich's Mangina with your hypothetical dick."
I threw my cigarette at his back. "You look like a werewolf!"
After my little conversation with Kyoraku I shuffled my way back to my apartment. I walked through the front door and walked into the kitchen to grab a sponge and a beer. Yoruichi heard me and came out of her room.
"How did it go?" She asked.
I walked into the bathroom and started to scrub my chest, Yoruichi followed.
"Oh you know just great, Yamamoto accused me of fucking bitches and asked me if I would put my fake dick in someone's ass in front of everybody."
"Wow public humiliation, that's a hell of a punishment." Yoruichi mused.
I scrubbed on my chest hard and the ink faded into skin. Then I moved to my stomach and scrubbed hard but it really hurt.
"How long until you think everyone will stop making fun of you?" Yoruichi asked.
Something was wrong. I didn't answer.
"Hey Soi I'm talking to yo-"
"Yoruichi something is wrong." I said in a shaky voice.
"What's going on?" She questioned.
I turned around with my hands on my stomach. "This isn't coming off and it hurts."
Yoruichi immediately knelt down and ran her fingers over the ink. "Soi Fon the ink is raised."
"What the hell does that mean." I exclaimed.
"Soi this is a tattoo." Yoruichi whispered.
"Shit…..I am so fucked."
