Mid 2006 (season 9)
"Jack, I need you to take some paperwork down to the ED."
Jack made a face. "Do I have to?" he asked his friend and boss Vincent Hughes.
"Jack, you can't avoid the new NUM forever," Vincent told him. He knew better than most how badly Jack had taken the disastrous end to his relationship with Deanna Richardson. It had been such a shame, really. Jack had been in a slump ever since Charlotte had miscarried and Terri had left, with the exception of a few weeks about this time last year when something seemed to have perked him up. If Jack had been gun-shy about starting a new relationship then, then Deanna's manipulations had made him a virtual monk.
Although Vincent doubted Jack was living the life on a monk. More likely he was picking up women in bars, using them before they could use him.
He felt sorry for the younger man. Whatever issues he had with Jack's relationship with Charlotte – and no matter how hard he tried, he could never truly get over the fact that Charlotte had once said that if it was to be any man, it would be him, and yet she had jumped into bed with first Jack and then Spence – he knew Jack had a great capacity for love and an equally great capacity for having his heart broken. He had been deeply in love with Deanna, and to find out that whatever real feelings she had felt, his main value to her had been as a backer to manipulate her ranks first through the ED and then through the hospital. It had made him question what he was worth, made him hard and bitter. Made him do everything he could do avoid the new ED NUM after he had heart she was a woman - and a reasonably attractive blond at that.
"Jack, you can't avoid her forever," Vincent said again.
Jack scowled. He remembered like it was last night the way Deanna had sobbed in his arms, shaking because Frank had allegedly told her if she didn't sleep with him, she would be fired. She had pushed all his buttons, manipulated his desire to be loved. For the first time since leaving the small country town that Rebecca had dragged him to, he had believed there was hope for a real steady relationship for him.
And then it had turned out she had made the whole thing up and now he couldn't stop wondering how much she had faked for his benefit. Part of what had made him fall for her was the way she had trembled in his arms. It had made him think of Gabrielle following Steve's attack, needing someone she trusted to love and protect her. Like hell Deanna had needed his love and protection.
"Jack, go. Now."
"Find someone else."
"You are someone else," Vincent said, reluctant to remind him that he was the most junior surgical resident and as such, he was the designated gofer.
Scowling, Jack snatched the paperwork from Vincent's hand and stormed down to the ED. "What was that about?" Bianca Frost asked sweetly, coming up behind him.
Vincent gritted his teeth. There was something about Bianca that set his nerves on edge. She was a brilliant surgeon, but there was something cold about her. She reminded him of Richard Craig; a brilliant, selfish user. In a man, those traits were bad enough. In a woman, it was a massive turn-off. "He's hurting," Vincent said simply.
"Still?" Bianca never held onto old loves. Although 'old loves' was putting it kindly for her. Vincent doubted she was capable of love.
"His heart's broken. It's a sign of being human. You should try it sometime."
Jack grudgingly made his way to the ER, paperwork in hand, keeping his head to the ground. He was bound to run into someone that way. Papers went everywhere. "Shit!" he yelled at no-one in particular. "Sorry," he said to the individual he ran into. He kneeled down to help them pick up the dropped papers, and met them square in the eye. He recognised the keys of the ward's NUM immediately; Deanna had worn them often enough. "You!" he said. "I thought you'd never leave – what was the name of that town?"
Gabrielle tried not to feel a little insulted that Jack had forgotten the name of the small town she came from (actually, she came from the outerlying farming area). But then, given how bloody big Sydney was, she couldn't really blame him. "Widgee," she offered.
"Why'd you leave? Why didn't you call?" Jack was still on the ground, to flabbergasted to speak. This was her, his short fling that had meant so much to him, practically lying on the floor with him in All Saints Western General in the heart of Sydney, a city she had told him she could never be happy in.
"I tried calling," Gabrielle protested. "And emailing. Everything was cut off."
He grinned ruefully at that. "My ex-girlfriend was a bit, um... reluctant to let go. When I had to move out for other reasons – well, that meant changing my landline and email account 'cos it was linked to my internet account, so I figured I change my mobile as well. I've been handing out my new contact details as I realised people needed them. Here." He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a new business card with new contact details on them.
Gabrielle took it, feeling strangely jealous when he spoke about his ex-girlfriend. She was in a much better position than him, of course. She hadn't realised she had taken a job at the same hospital as him – so many hospitals, churches and schools in this country had the name All Saints – but plenty of people had corrected her on that ignorance. Jack Quade, it seemed, had quite a reputation. Most of it he had already admitted to. His relationship with a former nun that was never going to love him as much as he loved her. Getting her lesbian best friend pregnant as the result of a one-night stand and her following miscarriage. But it wasn't just that.
She wasn't to know that Deanna Richardson had held court as Cougars for two weeks telling anyone who would listen that Jack was a lousy lay and a compulsive cheat until Vincent had found out about it and threatened to break her neck. She had struggled to reconcile with the man she had known so briefly with the topic of such gossip.
Of all people, she had found a defender in the lesbian of the story. Charlotte Beaumont. "Jack's a sweetheart," she had said. "Very guarded – he's given his heart one too many times to women who were either too in love with someone else or too big a bitch to appreciate what they had – but he's the most loyal friend you'll ever come across. He's like all of us, really, he just wants to be loved. He just goes about it badly. But he's a great doctor and you won't have to worry about him hitting on you or any of your staff."
Her gut told her that Charlotte's story was the right one, and the rest was gossip. People were far more inclined to pass on bad news than good; it took a true friend, someone who really knew a person, to tell good things about them. Which didn't change her own situation one whit.
"But it's good to see you," he said, suddenly brightening. If she had known it was the first time he had really smiled since finding out that Deanna was a pathological liar and seductress, she might have rethought her actions. "Look, I think we need to talk. There's a pub near where I live, too far away from the hospital that no-one but Dan and I go to, I thought we could meet after work and have a drink?"
"I'm not sure..." she began hesitantly.
"Look, what's the alternative? We avoid each other? I hate to break it to you, but this hospital is way smaller than your farm. I think it's better that we hash things out." She knew he was right and agreed to meet him for a drink after work.
He was waiting for her when he got there. "I hope you don't mind, I got you a drink," he said. She smiled when she tasted it. TEDs. It was sweet that he remembered.
He leaned in to kiss her and she pulled away. "I don't think that's a good idea," she said.
He frowned. "Why not?" They had spent several days together, had amazing chemistry and camaraderie, by sheer coincidence she ended up taking a position in the same hospital as him after telling him she could never leave – what was that town called? – and now she was saying that it wasn't a good idea? What was 'it' anyway? It was just a kiss. It wasn't like he was asking her to marry him.
She sighed. She had known this would be difficult, If she had known Jack worked here, she might have rethought taking the job. But it was a plum position in a major Sydney hospital, a far cry from the country hospital she had come from. She had been lucky to get it at her age. "Jack... you know how you said you thought I would never leave Widgee?" He nodded. "Well, it was mostly to do with Steve. He never forgave me for what happened between you and I. I think in his mind he twisted it around until I had cheated on him. He told everyone who would listen – well, I'm not going to repeat it."
Jack nodded, feeling deep sympathy. Deanna had done the same to him. When it had dawned on her that hell would freeze over before he took her back, she had retaliated by telling anyone who would listen the most fantastic stories about him. Most people had known she was full of shit, but enough had believed her that it had wrecked what remained of Jack's personal credibility. "I'm sorry," he said.
"I don't blame you. You kind of did you a favour. It made me realise how vicious and vengeful he can be. I was actually thinking of taking him back at one point. But... it ruined me. I couldn't keep my head up after he was finished. I came here to start afresh, where no-one knew me and could make judgements about me. I never thought I'd run into you."
He reached for her hand. "But you did."
She pulled it away before he could grab it. "Jack, you have a terrible reputation. People have been coming up to me all day to tell me about it. To hear some people talk, you've slept with every nurse in this hospital between twenty and forty, and most of the doctors."
"That's not true!" Jack said indignantly. "My ex made up all this crap about me when I wouldn't get back with her, and there's this surgeon who hates my guts, I don't know why, but she seemed to think the fact she was seeing my housemate gave her carte blanche to spout crap about me."
"Jack, I know that." He looked surprised at her reassurance. "You have a good ally in Charlotte, you know. I get that you're not the jerk people say you are, I just... can't risk getting involved with someone like you."
"That's not fair," he said quietly.
She looked at him for a second, thinking. No, it wasn't fair. Steve had put her through hell, far more than Jack knew – and would ever know. She was only grateful that Rebecca and Sarah had had a falling out, so Sarah hadn't deigned to pass on such a juicy bit of gossip, because Rebecca would have passed it straight on to Jack. "A lot of stuff isn't fair, Jack," she said, and he was surprised at how sad she sounded. Was she sorry that she had to turn him down, or was it something else?
She was determined to throw the sadness she felt at the unfairness of the situation – entirely brought about by one deeply selfish, spiteful man – and she focused on him. "Besides, from what I understand, you really cared about this woman Deanna," she said.
Jack made a face. "I don't want to talk about her," he said. "I don't want to think about her ever again."
"That's kind of my point. It seems like you're still hurting over it." Like I am. Like I think I always will. Was cheating on me and trying to rape me not enough for you? "Do you really think you're in a position to start dating again?" It was good enough to pass for the truth. Everything she had said was valid – it just wasn't the biggest reason. That she had to keep to herself.
"I don't know," he admitted.
"Then don't you think it's best if we don't complicated things?"
She was giving him a graceful exit, and he took it. Better than that pursue her doggedly like he had Terri Sullivan. Heh, maybe he did need to cool it with dating for a while. Everything he had done relationship-wise in the last two years had turned to shit. "Can we be mates?" he asked hopefully. "I'm not trying to pressure you, but we got along really well – it seems stupid to throw that away."
Of course. But she didn't intend on letting him get too close. She couldn't let anyone get too close.
"C'mon, Jack, you've got to admit, she has a point. You're hardly in a position to start dating again."
"I believe you said you'd rather see me dating Schapelle Corby at the time," Jack reminded Rebecca. She and Deanna had hated each other on sight, for fundamentally the same reason; neither had wanted to share him.
Rebecca grinned at the memory. There had been something unlikeable about Deanna Richardson from the moment she had first met the older woman, even before she and Jack had gotten together. She heartily disliked competition, and would go to any lengths to get rid of it. But she had overestimated the unwillingness of her competition to be gotten rid of – in both her and Nelson Curtis. "I only said that to get a rise out of her," Rebecca admitted. And it had worked. That, and needling her endlessly about the fact she was older than Jack and her biological clock was ticking. "Look, I know I didn't like her and I never pretended to... but I know you cared about her as much as a person can care about someone in such a short period of time. That it was founded on a lie doesn't make it hurt any less."
Jack turned his head slightly so he wasn't meeting her eyes anymore. Despite only being eighteen and the fact they had only known each other a year, Rebecca had a deep insight into his mind – often unnervingly so. "This was different," he insisted. "Or at least, it was. When I was with her – I've never felt like that about someone." Not even Deanna, even at her most vulnerable and scintillating.
Rebecca reached over and squeezed his hands. "I know, I was there, remember? You made me stay an extra week in that place so you could spend more time with her."
"It was a day," he reminded her.
"It felt like a bloody week," she grumbled...
... "I wonder what they always have to talk about?" Bart wondered from across Cougars. He and his sister barely got along.
"That's 'cos you've known her all your life," Charlotte said. "They're in, like, the honeymoon period of siblinghood." She turned to Gabrielle to explain. It was her first time out with the ED staff at Cougars. "Jack and his sister Rebecca are ridiculously close. The way they carry on, you'd think they were identical twins and not half-siblings born seven years apart. When her uni coincides with the end of his shift, they often grab a drink and join the rest of us when they feel like it. That, and I think she's still enjoying the whole I-can-drink-legally thing. " Gabrielle gave a small nod of understanding, as if she didn't already known that. A year ago, he had been devoted enough to her that he'd driven her hundreds of kilometres so she could go to a party. That was sibling devotion.
But of course she couldn't tell anyone.
True enough to Charlotte's word, after a few more minutes Jack and Rebecca came over. She was a few years younger than even Bart, but she was always popping into the hospital to say hi to Jack or get something off him that the staff had started to see her as some quasi-member. Rebecca glanced at Gabrielle as if she had never laid eyes on her before. "You must be the chick that replaced the wicked witch," she said.
"By that she means the new NUM," Vincent offered helpfully. 'Wicked witch' was one of the kinder names Rebecca had given to Deanna.
Gabrielle was grateful that Rebecca was doing such a sterling job of pretending to never have met her. "That would be me," she said. "I take it you didn't like – sorry, which of my predecessors are you referring to? I understand there's been about six in the last year."
There were a few giggles from that. Frank was a notoriously difficult man to work with, and to date, Terri Sullivan held the unbroken record of nine months "Deanna," Vincent supplied.
"Horrible woman," Rebecca declared. "I'm sure you'll do a much better job." There was a double meaning to her words that made Gabrielle feel like she was on very shaky ground.
"Did you talk to her about me?" Gabrielle asked Jack the next day.
"Of course I did."
"Jack! You can't just –"
"Just what? Go around telling someone who was there that, hey, turns out you'll come and live in Sydney after all. Would you have rather I didn't say anything? She's in here all the time. Would you have preferred to have it be a surprise and have her say something along the lines of 'hey, you're that chick who slept with my brother'?"
"No," Gabrielle admitted. There was a lengthy pause. She had managed to fall in step with him and since they were both headed for the ED, it seemed stupid for her to break away. "She didn't like Deanna much, did she?"
"No-one liked her."
"But she had a personal reason for not liking her."
Jack shrugged. "Bec's more possessive than any girlfriend I've had. It's nice I've ever had a family member care about me like that – but it can get a little annoying. Beyond that, though, she's one of the most insightful people I know. Deanna put this act on when she was around me but Rebecca saw right through it and told me so at every opportunity."
"What was she like?" Gabrielle asked. She had heard so much about her notorious predecessor that she was curious as to the woman she was. Well, that's what she told herself. It wasn't because she wanted to know about the woman who had broken Jack's heart or anything like that.
"Rebecca? She's – "
"No, I meant Deanna."
Jack made a face. "A manipulative tramp."
Gabrielle had to laugh at the instant reaction. He looked like a child who had been told to eat his broccoli. "I meant, what was she like that you fell for her?"
"Oh. Um... compassionate. Vulnerable." He remembered the day he had found her crying in the tea room. It had been over a husband-and-wife journalist team creating illnesses in her to write a series of stories about the wastage going on in public hospitals – only for it to turn out that because they had been screwing around, they had missed her actual illness, now too late to treat. She had been devastated – or had she? He wondered now if she really had been upset or she had just grabbed the opportunity to make him see her compassionate side – and fall for it.
He remembered how she had been that night, an enchanting combination of passive and bold. Kind of like – "She reminded me a little of you," Jack blurted out before he had thought about it. Gabrielle looked at him in surprise. "I mean... that kindness. She had this strength that she showed on the job but a vulnerability she only showed to me. Or at least, I thought that what it was," he added bitterly. He doubted Deanna had a vulnerable bone in her body, just superb acting skills.
He had obviously taken the breakup hard, and she wondered how much of it was the bitterness of realising he had been deceived and how much was real loss. He had struck her as someone who loved deeply and felt loss just as deeply. God, but he'd make a wonderful boyfriend once he found a girl who truly appreciated him.
There was a sudden burst of voices, and a group of rowdy teenage boys ran down the veranda hall past them, threatening to bowl Gabrielle over. Jack grabbed her quickly and pressed them both against the wall, her chest pressed firmly against his, his arms tightly around her waist. "You OK?" he asked when they were gone.
She nodded. "Fine." She had forgotten how strong he was, but it was a strength which wasn't the least bit threatening. She remembered, almost against her will, sobbing in his arms and feeling like it was the safest place in the world even though he was stronger than Steve and could break her neck if he wanted. It took a few seconds before she realised she was still in his arms, and she scrambled out of them. "Thanks," she mumbled.
"It was no problem."
She hurried off. For the rest of the day something was bugging her, until she realised that he still wore the same aftershave, and it still suited him.
"I had a really nice night."
I bet you did. Jack was so bored that he couldn't even be bothered going through the motions of taking the eager girl to bed. Besides, he suspected she still lived with her parents. Not for the first time that night he wondered how he had gotten roped into it.
Oh yeah, because despite having said just a few weeks ago that he needed time to get over the hurt Deanna had inflicted, Rebecca kept pushing him to start dating again, and telling him she had this wonderful friend and that wonderful friend until he got to a point where he figured a blind date had to be better than having his sister nagging him all the time.
He was beginning to miss the nagging. At least Rebecca was interesting. He wondered what she saw in this Taylor. She was vapid, or maybe it was that the thought of having a surgeon for a boyfriend turned her into a fidgeting fangirl. Either way, he was bored out of his mind. They had nothing in common and he had gone in thinking eighteen was too young for him, anyway. Tonight settled it; from now on, he was setting the bar at twenty-one.
He knew she was eager to continue things. He wasn't. It wasn't just that he suspected she still lived with her parents - he doubted she could afford a place like this, even sharing with a few people – it was... everything. It was no longer being interested in a transient lay with someone he had no connection with. It was getting to an age where he needed intellectual stimulation as well as sexual.
It was seeing Gabrielle every goddamn day and not being able to refrain from remembering their fling. She was so poised, so professional, never letting on to anyone that there had once been something between them. He understood instantly why she had been promoted to unofficial 2IC of the whole nursing staff at her country hospital; the lack of nurses in that area had little to do with it. Despite her age and relative inexperience, she was a compassionate, professional nurse. Not only that, but she could handle Frank like no-one before her had managed. Even his loyalty to Terri didn't stretch to thinking she had handled him the way Gabrielle could. And Von thought the world or her – in as much as Von ever admitted to thinking the world of anyone – after she had gotten out of Frank a position for Von that had required a fair bit of manipulation. She worked hard, she treated people with respect and patients with compassion, but she wasn't above manipulating Frank if that's what it took to get the job done.
He had known there was spirit in her when they had first met, but to see it in action.
So here he was, on a date with someone he found dull, and he knew a big part of it was Gabrielle. How on earth could Taylor compete with the fantastic few days he had spent with Gabrielle? He started to feel a little bad. Taylor may be vapid, but it wasn't her fault his mind was wandering. "I had a good time," he repeated dumbly.
"Do you want to come in?" she asked.
"I have an early start tomorrow," he lied. He had the day off.
She pouted. At eighteen and very attractive, she was used to getting things he own way when it came to men. She had been delighted when Rebecca had said her brother had agreed to date her. She had had a wonderful time, high on the buzz of being on a date with a good-looking surgeon eight years older than her. And she had thought he had had a good time, too. Hadn't he said as much? So what was wrong. "You don't have to stay the night," she said with a lilting laugh. "Just... for a coffee."
He found himself turned off by her attempts to sound like a seductive woman. "Taylor, if I don't get enough sleep, I make mistakes in surgery," he said sternly.
"Sorry," she said in a small voice, thinking how sexy it sounded when Jack talked about his responsibilities as a surgeon. She leaned over to kiss him and in doing so, slid her hand across his leg and then inside his thigh. "I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're worried about," she said suggestively before she shoved her tongue in his mouth.
He yanked her hand off his leg. "Not interested," he said. "Find someone your own age and get the hell out of my car." She looked at him with keen disappointment, and he felt a little bad for being so short with her but what did she think was going to happen? He sighed. It was his own damn fault for agreeing to go out with someone so young. She got out of the car and he watched her go into the house more out of a sense of responsibility to see her in the door than actual interest, and he started the car and headed home.
Halfway there, he decided he didn't want to sit alone and changed directions, heading instead to Cougars. It was a Friday night, and there had to be someone there he knew.
He was in luck. Dan, Erica, Bart, Cate and Gabrielle were there. Gabrielle. For a second, Jack thought about just going home. He wasn't sure he was in the mood to deal with having her sitting across from him, not after such a boring night whose lack of success was largely because his mind kept drifting to her. But then Dan spotted him and waved him over and Jack knew he had no choice. He got himself a beer and sat down with the rest of them.
"How did it go?" Dan asked, although obviously it hadn't gone well or he wouldn't be here. It was ten o'clock on a Friday night, dates – or at least good dates – were only just getting started. He had been pleased when Jack had said he had a date; he knew better than most how little a social life he had and had hoped having a girlfriend might liven him up a bit. But apparently it wasn't to be, at least not this time.
Jack made a face and took a long swig of beer. The bitter beverage tasted good after Taylor's kiss, "That well, huh?" Dan asked dryly,
"The words clingy and vapid come to mind," Jack said. "I forgot there's an age where people 'do' a lot of things."
"Huh?"
"Student, waitress, barmaid, babysitter, doesn't actually do one thing with her life."
"Not all of us got to cruise through uni on a scholarship and stipend, Jack," Cate teased. She got a filthy look for her troubles.
Jack downed the rest of his beer. "From now on, I'm not dating anyone younger than twenty-one," he declared.
"'Cos dating someone older works out so well for you." Sometimes, Cate didn't know when to keep her mouth shut.
"I'm serious. I have better things to do than waste my time on dumb girls. I want something more substantial." He glowered at Cate when she gave him a disbelieving look. He tried not to look at Gabrielle, but it was hard. She was wearing jeans and a yellow top that suited her much better than her uniform, and her hair was flowing loosely. He remembered playing with her hair when they were in bed together, twisting the strands around his fingers. He just knew she used the same strawberry-scented shampoo.
Jack threw himself into regaling the group with stories about Taylor's behaviour during dinner, exaggerating more and more until he had everyone in stitches. God, it felt good to hang out with people his own age. The drunker he got, the more he decided dating eighteen-year-olds was dumb – and the more difficult it became to pretend Gabrielle wasn't there. There was no way the smell of strawberry-scented shampoo could permeate the ingrained smell of beer at Cougars, but nonetheless, Jack was convinced he could smell it.
Across the table, Gabrielle watched Jack become drunker and more gregarious as the night went on. God, but he was a good-looking man, even more so since he had dressed up for his date, dress pants and a matching jacket instead of jeans, and the solid colour of his shirt was that little bit more dignified than the stripes and square patterns that he tended to wear to work. She found herself thinking about undoing those buttons one by one, exposing that hard, bare chest a few centimetres at a time. She found herself staring at the top of his shirt where he'd undone the first button and remembered how much he had liked having kisses trailed along his collarbone. Stop it! She told herself. Thinking about him this way wasn't achieving anything; it was only making it harder for her. The last thing she needed was to get involved with someone, and she definitely couldn't get involved with Jack.
Damn, she wished his eyes wouldn't sparkle like that.
"Mate, I think you need to leave your car here," Dan said several hours and even more pints later. "I'll drive you home." Jack agreed, and he and Dan headed for his car. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Dan ventured, "Hey, is something going on between you and Gabrielle?"
Good as he was at hiding his feelings, Jack was too drunk not to react. "Like what?" he asked.
"Like... I dunno, but whenever you guys are in the room together there's this weird vibe between you. You're awkward around each other like a pair of teenagers. Tonight was like – I could have sworn she looked jealous when you were talking about your date. And she was staring at you."
"She was not!" Had she been? Jack was flattered by the thought. But she couldn't possibly be jealous. She had been the one to put the kibosh on them seeing each other and besides, she was a mature woman, she had no reason to be jealous of a silly girl who was still a teenager.
"Maybe you would have noticed if you'd been looking in every direction but hers," Dan countered. "Seriously, dude, what's up? Other people are going to notice. Frank is going to notice."
"We slept together," Jack admitted. It actually felt good to tell someone.
Dan was so shocked he almost hit the accelerator instead of the brake. "You did what? Jesus Christ, Jack, didn't you learn from Deanna? Frank will skin you alive if he finds out."
"No he won't, because it didn't happen when she was working here. Look, do you remember when Vincent made me take that leaves of absence?" Jack asked. Dan nodded. His mother's death had hit him harder than he cared to admit and Vincent had made him take two weeks off. "Bec and I went to this little town for her mate's eighteenth and I met Gabrielle there – that's where she's from. We spent a few nights together – I wanted her to come back to Sydney with me." Jack found himself telling Dan everything, including about Steve attempting to rape her. "She insisted she belonged there and I never thought I'd see her again, I don't know why she changed her mind but she doesn't want to get involved with me. I can't stop thinking about her."
"Whoa," Dan said. He had fully expected Jack to admit to being attracted to her, maybe even to have slept together when they got drunk one night – he seemed to have a talent for that – but not this. "Well, what are you going to do about it?" he asked.
"What exactly can I do, Dan? She doesn't want to go out with me."
"No, she doesn't want to go out with someone with your reputation," Dan corrected.
Jack shrugged. "Same dif."
"You really think you guys can just go on like this? Jack, if I've noticed it, someone else will. Why don't you, I dunno, talk to her. Arrange something."
"Like what, Dan? A secret rendezvous? No thanks. I'd rather go on as I am now."'
Dan was surprised at that, just as he had been surprised by Jack's declaration that he wasn't interested in silly young women anymore. But then, living with Jack these last few months had taught Dan that there was a lot more to Jack that met the eye.
Gabrielle was walking through the ED, her face buried in the paperwork Frank had just handed her. Frank had taken full advantage of the fact Gabrielle was keen to prove herself despite her youth, and didn't complain too much when Frank weighed her down with his paperwork as well as her own. Besides, she knew how to get on with admin, and Frank's responsibility or not, it made for a much more peaceful ED when she dealt with them.
She was only half looking where she was going, so she didn't see Jack until she had run straight into him. It was practically like running into a brick wall. A brick wall with arms of steel that wrapped themselves securely around her waist before she toppled both of them over.
In his embrace, the memories of their time together came flooding back. The way he held her that was both strong and sensitive at the same time. The way he kissed her. The way he twisted her hair through his fingers when she was lying in his arms, her head against his bare chest, feeling it rise and fall rhythmically, feeling his heart beat. The smell of sex mixed with deodorant and aftershave. She could feel herself becoming turned on in such close proximity to him.
He didn't want to let her go. She felt so good in his arms, like she belonged there, like she was made to be in his arms. She did still use that strawberry shampoo. He remembered all too clearly that she wasn't that much shorter than him and that it would take almost no effort for him to pull her chin up so she was perfectly angled to kiss her. He remembered how she had screamed in his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist tight enough to impede the circulation of blood and found himself becoming turned on.
He pushed her away, thinking that if he didn't, he would soon embarrass himself in front of everyone. He felt the heat in his pants and groped for the nearest chair, wheeling himself so he was seated under the desk. He made a show of looking up patient information at the computer until he felt OK to come out from under the table. He hurried out of the ED and did everything he could to avoid it for the rest of the week.
Having scurried to the security of the office she shared with Frank, Gabrielle was trying to collect herself as well. She had been deluding herself if she thought there was no chemistry between them. There had been chemistry from the moment they had met, and seeing each other all the time and not being together only made that chemistry all the more apparent. She could still feel his arms around her, could vividly recall his hands roaming her body. Not to mention that mouth.
She sighed in frustration. She wasn't in a position to let anyone into her life, and she especially couldn't let Jack into her life.
She was wearing a thin white cotton sundress that did little to hide her figure. She moved towards him until she was kneeling on the bed and for a second, all he could do was stare at her. He had almost forgotten what she looked like under her practical, concealing uniform. He felt his mouth go dry.
She reached over to touch his arm and it broke down any restraint he had. He reached for her and kissed her hard. She kissed him back just as hungrily, wrapped her arms around his neck, pushed her body hard against his so there wasn't a gap between them. Without breaking the kiss he pushed her onto her back, climbing on top of her, pressing his body down on her. She welcomed the weight and pulled at his t-shirt so he was naked from the waist up. She remembered how much he liked it when she ran kisses across his collarbone.
He pulled up her dress until it was pooled around her armpits – no bra – and lavished kisses over her breasts. She arched her back and whimpered with pleasure. "Jack," she called his name. "Jack,"
He pulled down her panties with unimaginable ease and his boxers soon joined them on the floor. He didn't need to see if she was ready; he already knew she was ready for him, just as she knew without seeing that he was rock hard. He spread her legs and kneeled between them, pausing for a second before he plunged deep inside her. She screamed with pleasure and dug her nails into his back. "JACK!"
He was pounding her hard and fast, and she responded by meeting his thrusts with surprising agility. She was shaking uncontrollably now as she climaxed, and he knew he was going to climax at the same time, and that it would be explosive...
Jack bolted upright in bed. The dream had been so vivid that it took him the better part of a minute for it to fully sink in that it had only been a dream. He could swear the musky smell of sex lingered in the air.
Once it fully sunk in what had happened, he got out of bed and stripped it. He'd need a shower now, and to make the bed over again. He ran his hand through his hair. He couldn't believe that had just happened. He hadn't had a wet dream since he'd been seventeen; in fact, he prided himself on the fact that he didn't need such an outlet for his sexual energy, he could always find someone to share his bed. This is getting out of hand, he thought miserably. And he couldn't do anything about it.
The next day he couldn't find an excuse to avoid going to the ED, so he was forced to go down. He cringed when he saw Gabrielle, but there was no getting around passing her. At the moment he was about to, the ambos came by wheeling a patient through and they were forced to flatten themselves against the wall to let the ambos pass. His arm brushed against hers and he felt as if his skin was on fire, a wonderful, sensual fire that brought something out in him, made him feel alive in the way she had done a year ago, made him want to take her in his arms and to hell with people talking.
This had gone on long enough.
He followed her into her office and locked the door behind them. "Jack, what are you doing?" she asked him when she saw what he was doing. God help her, when Jack's arm had brushed against hers, she had felt something, and a part of her had wanted to throw caution to the wind and get it on with him then and there. But she couldn't.
Jack lunged towards her and had her in his arms in a second. "Jack!"she admonished him. God, was this a dream? So many times in these passing weeks she had found herself thinking about him, fantasising about giving into their attraction, that she wasn't sure if this was real or a fantasy that just felt real.
He brought his mouth crushing down on hers. One arm was wrapped tightly around her waist, the other supporting her head, ripping out the pins that held it up so it was loose the way he liked it. He thrust his tongue into her mouth much the same way Taylor had done to him, except both of them wanted it. Desperately, Despite every bit of common sense in her body screaming that this was a bad idea, she kissed him back, her kisses fuelled with hunger and pent-up desire, She whispered an empty protest when he undid the first two buttons of her uniform shirt and plunged his hand down the inside of her shirt, cupping her breast as if they were in the privacy of a bedroom, but she arched her back in pleasure even as she was protesting. Almost against her will, her hands went around his back, pulling up his shirt, running her hands along the bare skin of his back.
He grabbed her hips and lifted her onto the desk. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he thrust his crotch against her thigh to demonstrate his desire. Having made his point, Jack pulled away. "We want each other," he panted. She nodded, knowing she couldn't deny it at this point. She would have let Jack take her on her desk just then. She blushed to think that she had taken such leave of her senses. "If you don't let me come over tonight, I'll end up fucking your brains out in a consult room." She blushed even harder at the crass way he put it, and yet... she knew exactly what he meant. They had an animal attraction that couldn't be denied; trying to deny it had only got them in this situation. But the idea of letting Jack in like that...
Jack took her lack of response as uncertainty, and he kissed her again, this time undoing another two buttons. If Frank walked in on them at this point,,, "OK!" she agreed. "But... you can't come over. My place is still a mess and I only have a single bed," she found herself rambling, grasping for a suitable excuse as to why Jack couldn't come over. She thought quickly. "Dan's on the night shift tomorrow, I'll come over then."
Jack wasn't happy, but it was better than nothing, "Tomorrow night," he agreed, giving her a look so she understood that there was no wriggling out of it.
"Is there anything I need to bring?" she asked.
He had to grin at that. It was a booty call, not a soiree. Typical Gabrielle with little idea of such distinctions, it was what he loved about her. "Just bring yourself," he said. He went to leave the office now that he was a bit calmer and knowing he would be seeing her tomorrow night. "Oh, and Gabrielle?" he asked, turning to face her.
"Yeah?"
"No bra. I like easy access." He took great delight in watching her blush to her roots and made his exit before she could say anything.
"Cheeky bugger," she said after he had left and she had managed to get hold of herself. But it was part of his occasionally crass charm that she had liked from day one.
"Hi," she greeted him shyly. She knew why she was here, but actually being here... she had never expected she would be here, and she was still apprehensive about it. She knew Jack wanted a relationship with her, knew she needed to keep him at arm's length somehow. Something told her that wasn't going to be easy.
"Hey," he said. "Come in." She entered the house. She wasn't sure exactly what she had been expecting, but seeing the state of things in his house – car and gaming magazines everywhere and every imaginable piece of gaming console in a semi-circle around the TV. Jack had never struck her as much of a gamer. "That's mostly Dan's," Jack said, noticing her expression. "Although he's getting me hooked on it. Anyway..." He turned to embrace her. He had far better things to talk about than what it was like sharing a house with Dan. He kissed her deeply and possessively. He could scarcely believe she was actually here. He had been half-convinced that she would blow him off – was it possible to stand someone up when you were going over to their place?
But here she was. He wrapped one arm tightly around her waist, pulling her against him. He could feel her breasts against his chest, and it struck him that she really hadn't worn a bra. He grinned inwardly at that. She had to be just a little keen on him to follow such a crass request. "I wanted this for so long," he murmured huskily, planting kisses along her face and neck.
"I've only been here for a month," she protested at what she thought was hyperbole.
"I wanted this since I left last year," he corrected, realising as he spoke the words how true they were. A few days ago, Charlotte had made a comment that Gabrielle reminded her of the compassionate, sincere side that Deanna showed to Jack and Jack only, except Gabrielle was actually genuine. It had made him wonder if that had been what had attracted Deanna to him.
Well, that didn't matter now. All that mattered that Gabrielle was here, in his house, in his arms, about to be in his bed... He broke off the kiss so he could swing her into his arms. Gabrielle yelped with surprise. She had forgotten how strong Jack was. He carried her into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him, and laid her on the bed with a restraint that he didn't feel. He climbed on top of her and resumed kissing her. She kissed him back and brought her hands under his shirt. The muscles in his back tensed and relaxed as she ran her fingers across the bare flesh. She'd never met someone who liked to be touched like Jack – and who liked to touch so much.
He ran his hands down her front to where her shirt ended and slowly pulled it up until it came above her waist. "Don't," she said. "I – I had my appendix out last year and I have a bad scar from it."
"I don't care," he said, surprised that she did. What did one little scar matter? He went back to pulling up her shirt.
"Jack, no!" she protested more vehemently. "Sorry," she said when she saw the hurt in his eyes at her harsh tone. "I just... I don't want you to see it. Please, can't you respect that?"
"Of course." He didn't need reminding that she had suffered for years with a man who didn't respect that her body was her own. "I'm sorry, it's just not that big a deal to me. Whenever you're ready." Just to make her feel better, he hit the touch-pane on his bedside lamp so it was at its lowest level. He still wanted to be able to see her a little. He went back to kissing her, careful to keep his hands on her back until he had worked his way high enough to steer clear of even the worst of appendectomy scars. She sighed with pleasure and threw back her head when he started kissing her breasts. God, but this wasn't nearly as fun when he couldn't see her clearly. "You're so sexy," he murmured. She squirmed with pleasure at that. The way he said it, she truly believed he meant it.
She reached for his shirt and started unbuttoning it. His bare chest was exactly as she had remembered it, and she was a little sorry she had made such a big deal about the scar, now that he had dimmed the light she couldn't see him as well. She ran her fingers lightly over his chest, and revelled in it when he bucked against her. He retaliated by unbuttoning and unzipping her skirt and pulling it down her legs so apart from her shirt, pulled up under her arms, she was only wearing her panties. "Jack," she whimpered when he ran his fingers over the thing material that stood between him and what he'd been thinking about for the past month, for the past year. She fluttered her fingers nervously at the waistband of his jeans, and he whispered words of encouragement to move her hand down to find out just how much he'd been thinking about her.
In her intangible fantasies, she had forgotten how big he was. She stifled a giggle to remember telling Steve how he fell way short of Jack in that department – and others. "I want you so much," he whispered gutturally into her ear. "I want to be inside you so much it hurts." Even now, his hardness was pressing against his jeans painfully, and he wasn't sure how much of it was real and how much of it was his imagination, his driving hunger for her.
She tensed slightly at that, remembering. "Jack... do you have condoms?" she asked. She had forgotten to pick them up on her way and besides, she knew she would be embarrassed to get them. She had never bought condoms in her life. Not that Steve had been a big fan of them.
"Yeah," he said, a little disappointed. He hated using them, but he preferred it to the possible alternatives. He reached up to his dresser, opened the top drawer with a certain amount of finesse and pulled the box out. "Anything else?" he asked. He was aware she was nervous. He didn't see why. It wasn't like they hadn't done this before.
"Nope."
"Good." He pulled her shirt over her head and unzipped his jeans so he could be free of them. Discarding them on the floor with her shirt and skirt, his erection was all the more obvious beneath the freer confines of his boxers. He took her hand and moved it down her boxers, shuddering when she wrapped her fingers around him. He had to get inside her soon, before he embarrassed himself.
He pulled down her panties and fingered her until she was bucking uncontrollably underneath him and they were both well and truly ready. He pulled down his boxers, put on the condom and positioned himself between her kegs. "You ready?" he asked. She nodded. Of course she was. He thrust inside her, burying himself as far as he could go. He heard her gasp as the impact hit her. She was just as tight and wet as he remembered, and the sensation urged him on. He thrust hard, knowing he was already on the brink. His fingers worked frantically between her legs, bringing her to orgasm before lust betrayed him and he thrust a final time with a drawn-out groan, burying his face in her neck. "Wow," he said when he was able to speak.
"Yeah," she panted. She reluctantly unwrapped her legs from around his waist so he could pull out before the condom slipped off. She understood now what guys meant about it not being nearly as fun with a condom; she had only known that sex could be fun with Jack, but even with that limited experience, she knew it would be that much more pleasurable without the barrier.
But she couldn't take that chance. The consequences terrified her.
Self-consciously, she put on her panties and shirt before she let Jack cuddle her. "I'm glad we did this," he murmured in her ear.
"Me, too," she said.
She was lying on her side and he was propped up on his elbow behind her, his chest against her back. He stroked her arm idly, taking note of the implant under her skin. He made a mental note to get a fresh battery of tests done; he'd gotten them done after finding out what a two-faced bitch Deanna was, but getting an STD was clearly as issue for her if she wanted to use a condom despite being on birth control, so he'd humour her on that. God knew, he knew how it felt to realise someone he thought he could trust had given him an STD. Only half-consciously he kissed her shoulder sympathetically. "So what happens now?" he asked.
"How do you mean?"
"Frank needs to know. He does, Gabs," he insisted when he felt Gabrielle tense up. "I've screwed him over twice now getting involved with his NUM – and I know you're giving me that look, he sees you as his staff whether you do or not. He'll cut my balls off if he finds out through someone other that me that I've done it again."
"No."
"Gabrielle –"
"Don't 'Gabrielle' me. You tell him anything and there'll be nothing more to tell 'cos I won't see you anymore."
This wasn't going the way he had intended it to. Oh, he got that she'd want time to keep their relationship quiet for a while before the exposed themselves to hospital gossip, but surely she understood the position he was in? He thought about it, and decided that of the two evils, he'd rather risk Frank's wrath than not see Gabrielle again. And he understood why she was so scared to have her name linked with his. Steve had put her through so much, and he, Jack, was crazy about her. He figured he could humour her a little. "Fine," he said, trying to keep the sullen tone out of his voice.
She felt bad, she knew he was disappointed. "If we get caught out, I'll tell him I insisted," she offered.
Well, at least she was talking about being caught out like she intended this to be an ongoing thing. "So we'll do this again?" he asked.
"Well, I didn't come over intended to be your latest one-night stand," she said, flashing him a grin.
"As I recall, I wanted you to be more than a one-night stand before the night was over," he reminded her. He eased her onto her back so he could kiss her, and before too long, they were going at it again.
A few hours later, she stirred in his arms. "Jack, I have to go," she said.
He misunderstood her. "Bathroom's down the hall," he said drowsily. Damn, he was just falling asleep. Nothing beat falling asleep in the arms of someone you were crazy about.
"No, I mean I have to go home."
"Why?"
"I don't sleep well in strange beds."
"Give it a few weeks, you'll be just as familiar with it as you are your own bed," he said with a grin. He went to wrap his arms around her but she pulled away from him and reached for her skirt. "You're seriously going?" he asked.
"Yes, Jack. I have to work tomorrow. I can't stay up all night unable to sleep. Look, I'll come over again soon, OK?" she offered, knowing he was disappointed, knowing she couldn't push him too far too soon.
He looked at her in confusion. "Why don't I just come over to yours?" he asked. "Then you won't have to wait until Dan's on night shift to come over."
"I'll think about it." She had no intention of doing so.
Seeing Gabrielle was determined to go home, Jack reluctantly got out of bed, dressed and saw her to her car. He kissed her passionately before he let her get in, and he watched her drive off before he headed back into the house, wanting more than anything in the world to fall asleep with her in his arms.
