A/N: Hello, peeps! I'm back once again! And Jakeroo, if you wanna know why Tails's portraying Luigi I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU! But...Who else was I supposed to pick? Knuckles? Shadow? ROUGE! Really, who?
Stuff happens. And in all fictions, that's the real goal, ain't it? Well duh. Anyways, after the wedding happened everybody woke up with a hangover and no recollection of the event. How sad. I'm pretty sure YOU don't wanna remember it either but too bad, suckers! Here it is! Lo and behold!
Chapter 0-1
Chaos, Getting Back on Topic and Shaving
It was a lovely day in where ever Sonic lived in this story. In this case, however, he lived in a place resembling the Mushroom Kingdom. In a house resembling Mario's. It resembles much, don't it? Anyways, Sonic and Tails were sitting a table resembling Mario's in a room that resembled Mario's. More resembling, yeah!
Tails: So, what you wanna do?
Sonic: I dunno. You got over that hangover yet?
Tails: I got over it yesterday.
Sonic: You got it yesterday.
Tails: Oh.
The two stared at each other awkwardly for a second before they got back to the script.
Sonic: So, what do you wanna do?
Tails: I really don't know. Besides, you noticed how boring it's been lately?
Sonic: Yes. Yes I have. Not even staring at the cover of MAD #513 helps!
Tails: You mean the one that parodies that Nirvana album's cover?
Sonic: Yeah.
Sonic then looked at the camera.
Sonic: Remember kids, you can get your copy this December!
Tails: What if it's 2012?
Sonic: Then they're screwed.
Tails: Anyways, can we please get back on topic?
Sonic: No, I think we should explain you're representing Luigi. It's really simple. You see-
Director: Shut the ** up and get back to the **ing script!
Sonic: No!
Director: You wanna be in ANOTHER hentai fiction?
Sonic thought about it for a second before answering.
Sonic: So, uh, Tails, you're as bored as I am?
Tails: Yeah, I wish something would happen.
Just then, they heard a loud crash and the shouting of a Chao.
Chao: Chao! Chao Chao! (Help! Help me!)
Sonic and Tails ran outside.
Sonic: BillyBob, what is it?
BillyBob: Chao Chao Chao Chao Chao! (Princess Sally has been kidnapped!)
Sonic: She hasn't been kidnapped, she's a robot now.
Tails: And I think I read somewhere she's trying to get Mecha Sally in the Sonic fanfiction archives.
BillyBob: Chao. Chao, Chao Chao Chao Chao! (Weird. Anyways, go to Eggman's Castle!)
Sonic: Since when did Eggman have a castle?
BillyBob: Chao Chao Chao Chao. (Bought it on eBay.)
Tails: So that's the guy I sold the deed to!
Sonic sighed and the duo ran off. I would called them Christmas coloured, but they're blue and yellow. Maybe they're Beach coloured. So anyways, we cut to Eggman's new castle. Eggman was in his new throne room gloating about something or other.
Eggman: Neyah heh heh! Listen to me, my robot slaves!
Robot #2772: Do we have to?
Eggman: Listen here: You WILL listen and you WILL like it!
Robot #2772: Aw man.
Eggman: Anyways, my glourious new plan is almost ready! Let us review, shalt we?
Eggman then suddenly whipped out a pair of London Tipton Brand "Smart Glasses", put them on his face and pulled out a chalk board. On it was a picture of Alfred E. Neuman's head and a complicated equation that read "Knuckles likes Kiss!". Eggman erased everything off the board and began to write his plan down.
Eggman: OK, so here we have a robot that had Egg in it's name but has nothing to do with Eggs...
Eggman drew a robot on the board, very crudely I must add.
Eggman: Next we have our targets...
Eggman drew Sonic (as a stickfigure) and various other Sonic characters. It should be noted that the only one that didn't look crude was Sally, who looked like a robot in Eggman's drawing.
Eggman: Add some effects...
Eggman drew a heart around Amy for some reason. Nobody knew why.
Eggman: Now let me explain-
Robot #1220: You're gonna attempt to attack Sonic and his crudely drawn friends, but they'll succeed. It'll also, for some reason, take thirteen issues to resolve.
Robot #1119: And don't forget to explain nothing about the last issues!
Eggman: Okay, everybody just shut up! But, yes, that is my plan... Grambi, I'm a loser.
Robot #1119: The heck you are!
Eggman: I told you to shut up! Anywho, after we fail, I plan to let us all finally watch Citizen Cane!
Every robot then suddenly went nuts, cheering like there was no tommorw. And for some reason, Eggman forgot that he told everybody "to just shut up". I guess he has a poor memory.
Eggman: Thank you, my loyal servants! Thank you, thanks- Hey! You two in the back! What's with the hairy faces? We SHAVE around here, servnats!
Robot #987654321: Then why don't you?
Eggman: Because my moustache can kick your moustache any day of the week.
Robot #987654321: I don't have a moustache. In fact, I'll never have one.
Eggman: So there you go.
Eggman then lept off of his perch, went a surprising distance and then finally landed in front of Sonic & Tails. The judges then held up signs that read "9.7", "8.3", 9.4" and "7.6" respectively.
Eggman: OK, What do you two schmucks want?
Sonic: We came here to rescue Sally-
Tails: Amy.
Sonic: -from your EVIL clutches!
Eggman: I don't have Sally. OR Amy for that matter. And is it weird to say that not only is my grammar horrible, but I have a strange lust for pink hedgehog?
Sonic: As long as you don't turn into Chris or Elise, you're fine. Anyways, what do ya mean you don't have either of them?
Eggman: I don't have either of them.
Sonic: Well thanks, Captain Obvious.
Captain Obvious: Anytime!
Director: OK, who let him on the set? That wasn't funny and it never will be! It's like the condom on the golf club from "You Don't Love Me Anymore"!
Sonic: Anyways... If you don't have them, where are they?
?: Count Bleck says she's right here!
Count Bleck then flipped onto the scene, Amy right next to him, trapped.
Count Bleck: Count Bleck says he is here now! This fiction is now dramatic again!
Sonic: Oh my gosh! Amy!
Amy: Sonic... Help me...
Count Bleck: Count Bleck says for you to shut up!
Eggman: Don't try it, it doesn't work.
Count Bleck ignored Eggman and looked around the room they were in.
Count Bleck: Count Bleck says this room looks familiar.
Eggman: It should be! This place cost 50 bucks!
Sonic: TAILS, YOU SOLD THIS PLACE FOR 50 BUCKS?
Tails: But it was a bargain!
Sonic: I mean... You... Us... GAH!
Count Bleck: Count Bleck says enough about eBay! Count Bleck now summons a black hole to suck you in!
Just then, Count Bleck opened his cape and everybody started to get sucked in.
Robot #784573: No! He's sucking us into his junk!
Yeah, for some reason, everybody but Sonic was sucked in. Maybe he had cement in his shoes? So, after all Hell broke lose, Sonic fell into a coma and didn't wake up for a few hours.
Sonic *muttering in sleep*: Yeah... Look up that Yuri Porn on Google Images... Wait, DeviantART is better? I'll go visit it... LOOKIT DAT POON!
?: ...onic...
Sonic *muttering in sleep*: No... Lemme sleep ten more minutes... Reading Yuri fiction about Amy and Blaze... LOOKIT DEM GO AT IT!
?: Sonic...
Sonic *muttering in sleep*: Shut the heck up... AMY'S SUCKING ROUGE'S HONEYPOT! IT'S SO HOT!
?: Wake up!
Sonic woke with a start, jumped in the air and somehow landed on his feet.
Sonic: WOAH! What a rush!...anyways, who the heck are you?
?: I'm Tippi. I'm a pixl.
Sonic: How many?
Tippi: Excuse me?
Sonic: How many pixels? 8, 16 or 32?
Tippi: Pixl doesn't have an "e" in it.
Sonic: Then why are you called that?
Tippi: Because- Oh, screw it. We're going now.
Sonic: Where?
Tippi: Somewhere. You'll see.
Sonic: Hold on a sec, I've always wanted to do this!
Tippi: Wha-
Sonic *singing*: Exit light! Enter night! Take my hand! Off to Never-Neverland!
Tippi: It's not Neverland!
Sonic: Aw man, I wanted to meet Peter Pan. Hey, that rhymed!
Tippi: OK, we're going!
Suddenly, a muse dragged across the screen over both Sonic and Tippi. The person using the mouse then left-clicked and selected "Cut". He then went to search for the file.
And so Sonic has been drafted into something he has no idea about! I bet you have an idea because, if you don't, play the dang game! But what happened to Amy? Where'll Eggman end up? Will he ever get over his lust? Why is Tails playing Luigi? Is it just an excuse to type "Mr. T" over and over again? Where's Sally? Who's portraying Daisy? Will the guy using the mouse ever find the file? Tune in next time to find out! Same Bat-Time! Same Bat-Channel!
A/N: I love typing parodies. They allow me to throw my hands up and make fun of whatever I want to! Even myself! And yes, the next cover of MAD does have Obama on it parodying the cover of the Nirvana album "Nevermind". Weird, huh? Anyways, I'm That Gamer, saying "Good night and good luck."
