Chapter 2 : How King Arthur and his knights are healed on the condition that they rescue the damosel from the knight that killed her father and brother

King Arthur, Lancelot, and Gawain woke up in a marvelous castle, in comfortable beds. A brown cat sat in the window, but seeing they were awake, jumped down from the windowsill and transformed into the damosel they saw in the wood. She took care of the wounded knights and explained, "You have what is called poison ivy. I have a salve that will heal you, but you must promise one thing." "Anything" says King Arthur. "Look below," says the damosel, "I am imprisoned in this tower by an evil knight who killed my father and brother and has imprisoned me in this tower. I can transform into a cat and climb down that tree, but if he ever knows I'm missing, he will kill me. I want you to avenge my brother and father and set me free." The knights eagerly agreed, and the damosel gave them the salve. The knights applied it eagerly, and the fumes made them sore tired and they fell asleep again. In his sleep, King Arthur had a dream in which he saw a river of chocolate pudding colliding with a river of hot sauce and flowing out into the sea. He made note of it in his handy-dandy dream scroll and made sure to tell Merlin of it when he had the chance.

The next morning the knights woke up and began the quest to avenge the damosel's father and brother. They crouched in a wood all afternoon, until they saw a formidable knight in black armor. That must be the evil knight, though Lancelot. He stepped out of the forest to confront the knight. "Sir," cried Lancelot, "Art thou the most evil knight who imprisoned a most fair damosel in a tall tower?" "It is I," boomed the knight, "and there she shall stay until the end of time, for I won her from her father and brother." "Sir, thy actions art most grievous and I challenge you to a battle. If I win, you must free the damosel," said Lancelot.

"But what if you lose? Then I must take something from you. If you lose this battle—and you certainly will—I will have your beard."