Next chapter. I don't own Gaara or any canon Naruto characters. I own the previously named Enma, Lotus, Izanami, and Jigoku. Hope you like it.
Gaara's only visible reaction was a blink of his dark rimmed eyes. That was certainly not what he had been expecting from someone as small as the girl in front of him.
She stood there, eyes wide and chewed on a strand of hair. "If... if you want to, of course." she amended seeming to have lost her nerve. The thought was laughable. He had toyed with the idea of being a teacher, but the few lessons he had given that one kunoichi, Matsuri, had required such a large amount of energy: Something he did not have much of these days.
The kazekage did not answer her for what seemed a very, very long time. Finally, he shook his head almost imperceptibly.
"No." He stood up to leave, grabbing his gourd from its corner and straightening a paper on his way past the desk.
"Please! Please, help me." she clasped her hands in front of her, eyes wide and pleading. "Please."
"No." he repeated. The deep ache in his skull throbbed and Shukaku mumbled something rude. He couldn't quite make it out, he was too tired.
"Why not?" He sighed. Generally, he would respond with as much patience as he could. It was the way a Kazekage should treat disputes, of course. Tonight, however, he did not have the resolve. He needed to get home before he lost it. Instead, he resorted to an old trick of his.
He fixed her with an icy glare, his lips set in a firm line. She flinched and raised a hand as if she feared a physical retaliation and shifted slightly out of his path of travel. Gaara felt a slight twinge of guilt at the reaction, but continued to move past her. One hand twitched slightly as another wave of pain hit the back of his head.
Shukaku was antsy tonight.
Recovering with admirable speed, she scurried ahead of him and planted her small frame in the doorway, both arms outstretched. "I," she paused and cleared her throat."I won't move until you help me!"
Unexpected as that was, Gaara remained passive. There was no way this naïve little notion would remain in the little twit's head for much longer. She was nervous already, and he was fully aware of how his eyes affected people. He resigned himself to another thirty seconds at the most.
However, the seconds dragged by and mutated into minutes. The minutes began to stack up, much to his surprise and annoyance.
The corner of his mouth twitched downward, and his eyes narrowed a bit. "Could you… could you at least tell me why?" Would this torment never end? He shouldn't have to explain himself. He had said no, and no means no and he was the Kazekage. So, dammit! Go away.
"First and foremost," began Gaara in a low, tired voice. "You have a cell leader for that. The leader teaches his teammates." She opened her mouth, but seemed to think better of it. She snapped it shut and waited for him to continue. "Aside from that, I'm..." Tired? On the verge of a mental breakdown? "Busy."
"Please...? I'll work hard!" she allowed her arms to fall to her sides, but remained in his way. "And I know my cell leader won't-" Gaara finally lost his patience. His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist sharply, but only twisting it slightly in a natural position.
It didn't hurt per se, but it was a bit frightening. "I said no." his voice had lowered to a dangerous half whisper, and his eyes had narrowed to shadowy slits. "Don't ask again." He pushed past her and released her hand, watching as she stumbled to the side and landed against the wall.
"I'd suggest you start with your balance."
It had only been a month or two since Gaara had been chosen to fill in the position of Kazekage. He was still unsure as to whether he had been given this position out of respect to his late father, fear of him, or maybe, just maybe out of faith in his ability to change.
He was fairly certain that it was the second. Not that he blamed them. He had been quite a terror not too long ago. He had been fairly shocked when his brother and sister forgave him so readily. The astonishment at being considered, let alone selected for the esteemed position of Kazekage had nearly been tangible.
Of course, he had remained perfectly composed and hidden behind his neat little mask. He had very politely thanked them and hidden his joy.
It had been much too good to be true. The task itself was difficult, which he had anticipated. Especially now, after the ruckus they had caused in the leaf village.
The village was in complete chaos, working out treaties with the Leaf and working to replace valuable Shinobi who had been killed in the war, if you could call it that. And of course, who could forget the generous budget cuts from the Daimyo of the land? Those had been a major factor in the attempted overthrow, if he recalled correctly.
Which he did, make no mistake.
He had also learned just how hard it was to change things in a village so firmly set in its ways. Especially if you happen to be an unwanted relic of their past mistakes.
It had taken an excruciating amount of effort just to get the newly formed school off the ground and he had had to fill in as a teacher until more suitable candidates were selected. That had been a nightmare and he had only had one student. One. He couldn't begin to fathom what multiple students would have been like. He had been forever grateful to Temari and Kankuro for taking the bulk of them.
It would have killed him. Metaphorically, or course. He wouldn't have been the one crushed into a bloody, sand filled pulp.
That was the true struggle right now. He had always been… goal oriented. The task of organizing teams and assigning missions or going to meetings to discuss funding and wartime strategies was easy. It was the social interaction that was hard. People still scurried away from him when he walked by, some of them still openly glared at him. One person had thrown something at him.
Before he would have crushed them or dismembered them. Maybe, if he was particularly angry he would have strewn their guts across the desert and watched the buzzards peck at the carcass.
But something had change and now he couldn't react… rather he wouldn't. He sincerely wanted to change. Uzumaki had inspired him beyond words and he truly wanted that happiness and that feeling of acceptance and trust.
Shukaku did not like it, mind you. The demon had been antsy to say the least. It had begun to hound him constantly, often needling at him to end some poor, unfortunate soul or another. Of course he refused. And of course, Shukaku got angry. It had begun to struggle, to rock in its cage and scratch its chains. Occasionally it cursed and screamed, but generally it settled for making little… suggestions.
Grim, unpleasant, and, appalling suggestions. What distressed him the most was that somewhere, deep down, some little part of him still listened and considered them. Enjoyed them.
A very small part that he had to struggle to control... and an ageless demon of almost limitless ingenuity and power were working against him. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, twenty eight to thirty one days a month and Three hundred and sixty days a year. But who was counting?
He was exhausted almost as soon as he began to move in the morning. Too tired to eat, too tired to train, and almost too tired to speak. His little dialogue with what's-her-name in his office had surprised him.
When he finally made it home, he was completely spent. It was blissfully quiet when he entered the narrow doorway into the beige building that was so sparsely furnished. Not out of necessity, rather the taste of all three siblings was very simple. They did not need much in the living room: they almost never entertained guests. It was unlikely that would ever change.
The bedrooms were down a flight of stairs, underground. That was the best way to keep them cool, but It guaranteed that the rooms were dark after the sun went down. Electricity was a scarce commodity. Especially in old houses like this one. They kept intending to add the feature, and they did have the money. It was just impossible to make time.
Mere weeks after their arrival in Suna, they had been called back by Tsunade in order to help with a retrieval mission. Shortly after that, Temari had been engrossed in ambassadorial duties having discovered a talent in oration and negotiation. Kankuro had taken his skill in puppet control to the Puppet corps and had continued teaching at the school. And Gaara, well… the paperwork wasn't just going to wait until their house was touched up.
He shuffled down to his room, dropping his gourd through the doorway and changing into something more comfortable. The darkness of his room was inviting, and he considered staying inside for the rest of the evening, perched at the head of his bed, back against the headboard. That was how he spent his nights, half meditating and half drowsing, but regrettably never fully asleep.
However, he did need to eat something. He had not since yesterday. Maybe. Had he eaten yesterday?
"Hey, Gaara? You home?" Kankuro had apparently just come through the door. Gaara shrugged off his fatigue and walked back up to the main room.
"Yes?"
Kankuro examined him. "You okay, bro? You look tired." Gaara shrugged and moved through the room, to the small kitchen.
"I'm fine." He opened the rice cooker and checked to see what was left. There was enough. Closing the dripping lid, he turned to the cabinet next to him and removed a deeply curved bowl, gold and blue, and a pair of chopsticks.
"So… how was the office?" Kankuro watched his brother amble purposefully through the kitchen. He pulled two *umeboshi from the fridge and retrieved two sheets of *nori. "Get a lot done?"
Gaara nodded, focusing on scooping out the right portion of rice into his bowl. He molded a divot into the middle of the small, white mountain. He deposited the fat, shriveled filler into the middle and kneaded it over itself and into a pseudo ball.
"Anything interesting happen?" He folded a dry green sheet of nori around it, and began the process again.
"A girl came in." He closed the rice cooker, and set the paddle back in the little cup of water. He picked up one of the warm onigiri and took a small bite. The vinegary taste of the ume-boshi bit his tongue.
Kakuro smirked and gave Gaara a suggestive wink. "Really? Was she cute?"
"She wanted me to take her as a student." Gaara continued, shutting down Kankuro's delusion with a flat, uninterested face. "And no, not particularly." He took another, larger bite of his dinner, testing carefully for the pit with his teeth.
"What did you say?" asked his brother, slightly disappointed by his brother's disinterest.
Gaara gave him a half amused glance. "What do you think?" He started on his second rice ball.
"You gave her… A definite maybe." He joked. It gave him a little swell of pride when Gaara's lip curved up into a very slight, almost invisible smile. The younger brother carefully set his dishes into the warm water left in the sink, carefully drying his hand on a dish towel. "Seriously, though." Kankuro lost his playful demeanor. "You seem really tired. You should go rest."
Gaara blinked as a tiny ache crackled through his skull. He nodded. "Is Temari home?"
"Mm… not yet." Kankuro checked the clock perched on the wall. "She had a meeting with the Council."
"Would you tell her I'm sorry I missed her?"
"Of course!" Kankuro pulled of his eared hat, shaking his hair into its general haphazard array. "Now, get to bed. Big brother's orders." Gaara walked slowly to the stairs and cast a weary look over his shoulder.
"See you tomorrow."
Gaara struggled through the night. He couldn't seem to focus. The dark room felt oppressive and his mind struggled to find a quiet niche. One where he wasn't tormented by the dry, scraping voice of his unwanted guest. His chest hurt, same place as always. Right above the pulsating organ that he had tried to kill for years. Malnourished and bruised, it continued to fight.
Why are you trying so hard?
"I want to be…"
Wanted? Useful?
Gaara's face fell in the dark, almost embarrassed to hear his most sincere heart's desire was being scrutinized by something so dirty and evil. The ache intensified.
Oh, I know. Loved. Is that it?
It laughed, and laughed, and laughed until Gaara wasn't quite sure what he wanted more: love or silence.
When Gaara emerged from his room the next morning, cynical and uncaring, he found Temari industriously buzzing around the kitchen, setting the rice cooker, checking the bentos on the counter and, somehow, miraculously pulling her hair into her trademark quadruple ponytail updo.
That was the true power of a kunoichi: Multitasking.
She noticed him as he began to leave.
"Hey! Don't forget your bento!" she pressed both hands to her hips, fixing him with an almost motherly look. "You left it here yesterday." Gaara reached back a hand and uncorked his gourd, sending a small strand of chakra filled sand out to scoop up the small box and deposit it into his free hand.
"Thank you." He corked his gourd and opened the door.
"Have a nice day." She called, and for a moment, his exhaustion was replaced by a very warm, soothing feeling in his chest.
He opened the double doors to his office quickly, examining the replenished stack of papers at the corner of his desk. The gourd fell from his shoulder as he made his way to the large leather chair behind his desk. With a swift kick, it made a controlled slide to the little niche by his large bookshelf.
Time to get to work. As he sat down, he stared at the generous pile of papers and the generous pile of scrolls in front of him. The clock on the wall gave him roughly… fifteen minutes until the first shinobi cell came through for the day's missions. That was enough time to get through at least one paper.
The first one on the stack was strictly financial… but the words were interspersed with patronizing little remarks here, a question to his intelligence there… and he found the proposal just a bit… off. He would need to review that one with the budget in hand.
Unfortunately, his fifteen minutes seemed to have devoured themselves much more rapidly than he had anticipated, as the first team came crashing through his doors.
Without a word, he handed the scroll to their leader, his former teacher Baki sensei. The team was clearly newly formed, a group of green behind the ear genin. He watched them go with disinterest. He began shuffling through one of the larger drawers at the bottom of his desk. The budget was right near the front, being such an important document.
When he had finally pulled it out, he found that another group had entered silently and stood waiting respectfully for their assignment. This was the kind of team he admired. It consisted of a tall, lanky boy with black hair and narrow green eyes. Flanking either side of him were two twin girls, one with stumpy brown pigtails, and the other with an unkempt cloud of brown shoulder length hair.
He paused in his search for a scroll. If he recalled correctly, they were skilled enough for an intermediate mission. He glanced back up noticing quite suddenly that there were only three of them. He knew he had assigned four to a cell, granted he had to put a few of the more promising, but uncertified ninja at the head of teams. They would move up in rank come the next Chuunin exams, so there was little point in worrying over it. However, teams were expected to stick together for missions.
"You're missing your fourth member." Said Gaara, slowly.
"Yes… she wasn't feeling very well." The only boy responded. Yes… he remembered him. He was the leader of this cell, one of the few non jounin in charge of a team. As long as the leader was with them, he saw no issue in assigning them the mission.
Then again… this wasn't the first time they had come in missing a member. He was still debating the issue when his doors were flung open again.
It was that girl from last night, much more disheveled than the previous evening.
"I'm here." Her pale face was flushed and her hair was flung about her in a chaotic blizzard. "Do we have a new meeting place or something, Enma? I waited for more than twenty minutes!" Gaara turned a hard look on Enma
"Not feeling well?" The leader turned a poisonous look on his teammate.
"Last I checked." He hissed.
End of Chapter 2. Hope you enjoyed it, please read and review. Feedback is always appreciated!
Vocabulary
Ume-Boshi: A pickled plum used in onigiri.
Nori: Sheet of dried salted seaweed.
Onigiri: A rice ball, usually filled with an ume-boshi and wrapped in seaweed. Sometimes full of fish, pork, or chicken.
Bento: a Japanese lunch box
