Thank you everyone for showing your support for the story. It inspired me to write another chapter. So here you are.
Subject: Isabella Marie Swan
Cause for therapy: Rape
Notes: Subject has not spoken since the incident. That was over 4 months ago. Sessions have not helped her open up, and it is hard to converse with her. Today's topic is about school. She is going to start in 3 days.
"So, Isabella, are you ready for school?"
No response.
"Would you like me to give you the notepad?"
She nods slightly, focused on the wall. The notepad is passed to her, followed by a pen. She scribbles, scratching something out, then hands over the pad.
No. She isn't ready for school. There is something above her answer scratched out.
"Isabella, why aren't you ready? Don't you want to see your friends?"
She writes something down, hesitantly, and then shows the note.
No. Same reply. She looks at the note, eyes tight, like she couldn't believe what she wrote.
"Why is that? Your friends must miss you."
They don't. They haven't called me; they haven't even tried to contact me. I don't want to see them. I know they will be able to see the change in me, and I'm not ready for that. Her response is quick, resentment and misery laced each word.
"How do you know that? You shouldn't be so quick to judge, Isabella."
I should be that quick to judge. I wish I was that quick to judge before, if I was, I wouldn't have been raped. Her eyes are vacant, like if she left her mind.
The session is over with her last statement.
Notes: Subject is still self-loathing, blaming the rape on her. Consolation has been given over and over, yet her mind has not changed. She holds all the guilt on herself. The session has not helped.
Bella
"Do you want me to drop you off?" My father asked me once more, at least the 10th time in less than 1 hour. I shook my head, watching the clock. The bus will be coming to pick me up.
"I just want you to know that you can call me anytime of the day. If anything happens, don't hesitant to go to the office and dial me up. Please, call if necessary." He said desperately, his exhausted eyes alert with concern. I nodded, smiling crookedly, and walked to the table.
Thank you dad. I love you. I wrote slowly, my emotions escaping on to the paper. He looked at the paper, and then at me. A smile broke out onto his face, and he hugged me gently. I tensed up in the hug, but I patted his back. I don't really like touching, or any kind of contact.
"I hear the bus. Have a good day at school." Dad waved me off, passing me my notepad. I nodded, and carried my bag on my shoulder. I would say thank you again, or even a "See you when I get out of school", but I didn't. The bus was already in front of the house, and I didn't have time to write down my goodbye.
It was hard telling the teacher who I was, since I didn't talk. She thought I was deaf, and treated me like I was slow.
"Dddoooo….yyyooouuuu….rreeaaadddd…..lliiippppssss.?" She asked slowly, emphasizing on every letter. I nodded, gaping at her, and pulled out my pad.
I'm not deaf, I can hear. I just can't talk. Oh and yes, I can read lips. My answer makes the teacher blush in embarrassment. She finds me a seat in the front row, and gives me a syllabus of her course. I read it over, not noticing someone trying to get my attention. A tap to my shoulder made me jump, and I held my chest. My heart was beating erratically, and I look into amused emerald eyes. His eyes reminded me of them. I expelled those thoughts from my head.
"Hello, I'm Edward. You are?" The incredibly sexy emerald eyed god spoke to me, his voice warming me from head to toe. For the first time in 4 months, I actually wanted to speak. But I didn't, I wrote on my communication pad.
Hi Edward. I'm Isabella. My face heated up as I passed the pad to him. He scanned the sheet, smiling wistfully as he passed it back.
"You're not deaf, are you? Either that or you can read lips pretty well." His playful tone made me blush again, and I stared at his lips.
No, I'm not deaf. I just can't speak; you aren't the first one to ask me that though. I smiled back, teasingly, and passed the note to him. I'm flirting though a note, kind of strange.
"Darn it." Edward pouted, teasing me. His soft lips are so tempting, and I found myself leaning in his direction. That's also strange too. "Do you know sign language?" He asked suddenly, curious evident in his voice. I nodded; I learned sign language a long time ago, a skill that I thought was cool. Yet I didn't have any friends that knew it. Then Edward starting making hand sighs and asked:
Is this better? He grinned at me, and I felt that smile get contagious. I sighed back, grinning too:
Much better, thanks.
And for the rest of the period, we talked to each other through our hands. I learned about Edward, how he had one sister and one brother. His sister Alice is deaf, so his whole family has learned sign language. I never felt so in sync with anyone in a long time, and Edward is starting to make me feel things I never felt. Eventually we had to stop talking, so the teacher can teach her lessons. But that didn't stop us from signing and I felt happy, giddy in a way. Edward was a nice guy, and very handsome too. I would catch myself staring to long at his face, his lips, and his eyes. They way he grins, or laughs and how he would bite his lip in concentration. I reacted unusual to all of that, my face would flush, or I would feel this weird warmth inside my body. The bell rang, and everyone stood up. Edward collected his belongings, and his eyes lingered on me. He had a disappointed look on his face, and he signed to me slowly.
It was really nice talking to you. I really want to talk to you more, but we have to leave. He ended his last sign little by little, trying to drag on the conversation. I smiled at his gesture, and sighed, crestfallen.
It was nice talking to you too. But we will continue our conversation tomorrow. Edward brightened at my last signed sentence, and he beamed at me.
That sounds wonderful. He answered, and walked to my side. Then in slow motion, I saw his arms circle me. I felt panic shoot me like lightning, and instinctively, I pushed him away. I frantically signed to him, my thoughts jumbled.
Please don't hurt me. I mean hug me. I mean I don't know if you would hurt me, I don't know anything anymore. But I thought you were different, and…and..and . My hands flew around hastily, my words not connecting. Edward looked at me surprised, and a little nervously. He grabbed my moving hands, in a way to make me stop talking.
"Isabella, I was just going to hug you goodbye. You know a hug?" His lips tugged up teasingly, and I felt embarrassed. I nodded, and opened my arms.
Try again, please. I signed reassuringly. Edward smiled gently, and wrapped his arms around me. I placed my head on his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent. I didn't know how to describe it, only as his essence. He was warm, and I felt myself slip into the nirvana of his body. Everything melted away, my pain, worries, the haunting of those voices. And I felt at peace.
"We're not done with you, little girl. You better stay awake to see this." A voice smirked in my mind, and I felt like I was being held down. Not again. I pushed away the body touching me, and let out a sob.
I opened my eyes, tears falling out them, and saw Edward a few feet away from me. He was stunned, his mouth slightly opened. His eyes were opened with concern and confusion. I felt something deep down hurt from his expression, and I wanted to tell him to stop looking at me like that. But I stood there, just as shocked as he was, and we stared at each other.
I'm sorry, Edward. I have to go. I ran off, leaving my bag. I had to escape Edward and his heart wrenching look, that look might never leave my mind. I hurt him, I pushed him away, just cause of my selfish pain and suffering.
"Bella! Bella wait!" Edward was running after me, but I ignored him. I got to get out of here. I ran outside, the cool Fork's air entering my lungs. I breathed deeply, trying to collect my buzzing thoughts. I'm an idiot; I should go back there and apologize. I walked to the bus, getting on the first seat. I need to go back and say sorry. I tried willing my body to get up, but it didn't. Damn. The bus doors closed, and we left. I cradled my head in my hands, cursing myself. I shouldn't had overreacted like that.
"Bella! Bella wait!" I could hear Edward still calling out to me. He called me Bella…no one's ever done that. I might like that name, since Isabella has been getting on my nerves. Bella…it has a nice ring to it.
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