somebrokenhearts

HYAKU

two: "hey sexy"

Pairing: sasusaku

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"Hey sexy."

Oh my GAWD! Did he just call me sexy? He totally just called me sexy. Well I guess it's because of my totally rad outfit today! All new. All thrifted. Totally chic. Too bad no one at work noticed today, but obviously I'm scoring MAJOR points here! Ah! It's just like Ino says…..wait. What does Ino say again? Oh never mind.

He's coming this way! RED ALERT! RED FREAKING ALERT!!

Wait. You can't act too surprised. Act like people come up to you all the time and call you sexy. Yah that's right. I've seen those looks people give me in the streets! Righto! Chin up. Strut! Sway those hips and oh! Take a sip of your drink. Be seductive. Yes indeed!

"Hey yourself."

Ooohhh that's a good one Sakura, sultry and playing hard to get. We are SOOOO on fire tonight! Purse those Blushed Rose #21 colored lips babe and SEDUCE!

"So what brings you here, Sakura?"

WAIT! How does he know who I am? Shit shit shit shit. What if it's my boss! Oh NO! Did my boss just call me sexy? No nonono NO! This is supposed to be a good time. It's okay calm down calm down!

"I could ask you the same thing…."

Okay now lets find out who this sucker is! Move towards the light! Flash your phone in his face. If only this place wasn't so damn dark and noisy I could see who it…..

"NEH?!?!?!?! SASUKE?!?!"

"Heyyyy babe!"

How could you not notice his freaking hair or his muscles OR the fact that he is, in fact, TOTALLY SMASHED?!

Calm down Sakura. This is totally not real. This is all a dream. In real life Sasuke-kuns don't get shit-faced drunk on Tuesday nights OR do they go around calling people 'sexy' this is a dream now just pinch yourself and….

"OW! Sasuke GET OFF MY LAP!"

This is so not a dream.

"STOP LICKING MY FACE SASUKE-KUN!!! waofjEOiwjgwaiogjalwkgjewiogjalefewlkfahk."

It's a nightmare.

"Mmmm Sakura you smell like flowe….jawlegkawlkgj."

This night really effing sucks. Sasuke weighs about ten times more than me and he smells like tequila and sweat. Now I get to walk three miles home in the freaking cold lugging this DEADWEIGHT on my back and my super cute outfit is ruined and….

sniff sniff

No Sakura don't cry! Stop this right now! You are twenty-five years old, successful, and SUPER sexy. People like us don't cry like babies!! Even when their so called love of their life, even if the other individual doesn't know it just quite yet, decides to just…AGHHHH! All the fantasies are totally down the drain as of now.

"Saaakuraaa whyyy are you talking to yourself?"

PLOP

Ugh just leave the ungrateful bastard there on the street just like he deserves. Yah now march home with your dignity and….well he just looks so pitiful on the pavement….it doesn't suit him….

"Saaaakuraaa…..Sai…..Sai said you were an ugly hag."

But he does look awful comfy. I guess…yah….home for SAKURA!

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A/N: sophie kinsella is absolutely amazinggg