Mukuro: I NEED MORE REVIEWS! I want to know your opinions about my story, because I don't know if I am a good writer. PLEASE REVIEW!

Disclaimer: If I owned this, Tsuruya would have a bigger part in the anime and she would be a slider.

Characters may be slightly Ooc, but this is a fan fiction

'Character thought'

"Character talking"

Mental Communication

Kyon's thoughts

The Battle of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter 2: Romance or death

Luckily for me, my life has been surprisingly normal. No closed spaces have appeared recently, and Fujiwara has been surprisingly well behaved as of late. In fact, besides Haruhi's fawning all over our new member Fujiwara, life has been pretty good (and I'm not jealous). I am currently riding my much abused bike up the hill to the usual weekend meeting place, under the sweltering near-summer sun. After parking my bike, I began my slow walk the rest of the way.

"Well Kyon, you weren't last this time!" Haruhi shouted when I arrived at our meeting place in the town square.

Wait, you were expecting me to be late? I need respect, dammit!

"Hi, sorry I'm late!" Fujiwara said behind me.

Oh that's okay! Now that everyone's here, let's go into the café! Haruhi shouted, pointing over her shoulder to our café, and then she added "and by our rules, second-to-last person to arrive has to pay for us!"

Hey wait a second! I thought the last person who arrived has to pay!

"Kyon, since I am the brigade leader, I can change the rules! Now pay up!" At every word, she jabbed her finger into my head, and then grabbed my wallet and ran into the café.

When we reached the café, we got our usual food, but Fujiwara got enough food to salvo all the money left in my allowance. Bastard!

"All right, let's choose our groups!" Haruhi shouted, breaking my calculations on how to heal my dying wallet. She then placed our six little sticks into her hand and held them out.

There is only one problem with my group. And that is Fujiwara. Why the hell do I have to be paired up with him of all people? "Okay Kyon, you and Fujiwara take the north and the west sides of town. Yuki, Koizumi, you two take the east side. Me and Mikuru will take the south side! And Kyon, no goofing off!" Luckily, I didn't hear her over my thoughts of self-pity, or I would have objected.

And so, me and Fujiwara first began by exploring the west side of town. And as I had wagered on, Fujiwara made me do all the work. He's turning into miniature Haruhi! Suddenly, during my exploration of one of the abandoned lots in town, I saw a person I hoped I would never see again, who has tried to kill me, twice! Standing in front of me was the one and only Ryoko Asakura, the psychotic alien humanoid interface.

Just staring at her smiling face made my legs feel weak. She stared right into my eyes and brushed her blue hair out of her face and smiled.

"Hello Kyon-kun." She suddenly said, after an unbearable silence. "It's good to see you again after all this time." Dammit, where's Nagato when I need her most?

"Don't look so tense, Kyon-kun." She whispered into my ear, suddenly appearing next to me, patting my shoulder, grinning. "The Data Integration Thought Entity gave me another chance, so I am now here to observe the strange, fourth force that appeared recently. I am here particularly to observe the man named Hiruko."

Wait, so you know about Hiruko also? Who is he?

"Wait, Kyon-kun, you mean you really don't remember him?" She said, looking up at me with those sad, blue eyes. Strangely enough, she was actually starting to seem more human to me. "How sad…" she said softly.

"Well, good-bye Kyon-kun. Give my respects to Nagato." And with that, she disappeared.

"So, did anyone find anything?" Haruhi asked us, standing up on her seat in the café. "Because we sure didn't."

"My group didn't either." Koizumi said, grinning as usual. "What about you, Kyon?"

"Well, we couldn't find very much because of Kyon" Fujiwara interrupted me just as I was about to answer. "Instead of searching, he flirted with some girl."

"Oh, is that so?" I could actually feel Haruhi's glare boring into me. "Kyon, your punishment is that next week, you have to search the whole town single handedly, dressed up as an alien"

What the hell! There is absolutely no way I would do that!

"No arguments!" Haruhi shouted, pointing her finger directly at me. "And we'll be watching you in case you feel like ditching!"
I can feel my sore legs already…I hope this weekend never comes…

Right after we left the café, I pulled Nagato aside.

Hey Nagato, I ran into Asakura a few hours ago. Will I have to be worried about my life?

Nagato's answer was as swift as always. "The Data subject named Ryoko Asakura has received new orders from the Data Integration Thought Entity. She is no longer assigned to observe Haruhi Suzumiya. Her new assignment is to observe the dark matter subject named Mitsubayashi Hiruko. Asakura is no longer considered dangerous, and next week she will be re-enrolling into north-high. Nevertheless, most of her powers have been removed. Is there any other data that you wish me to relay?"

Uh, yeah, what is a dark matter subject?

Nagato's answer to my question made me think she had it all prepared in advance. Of course, this is Nagato, after all. "A dark matter subject is a person from the world that is on the other side of the mirror who has entered this world, crossing special boundaries that not even the Data Integration Thought Entity can cross. The term that would best fit this description is a 'slider'. The Data Integration Thought Entity is unsure of the motives of this particular dark matter subject, and the most information it has gathered is that this subject has broken off from the organization it is from. A close comparison would be how Asakura Ryoko broke off from the collective whole of the Data Integration Thought Entity and tried to remove you. Unfortunately, I am forbidden to speak anymore about the subject, including the relation between Hiruko Mitsubayashi and you.

Wait, what is this relationship that everyone is telling me about?

"I am not allowed to respond to that area of questioning."

Well, thanks Nagato. See you around.

Nagato gave me even the slightest of nods, and walked away with her robotic steps.

I arrived at school the next day, and listened to Okabe's talk about our old friend transferring back to our class from Canada. Haruhi was talking about how strange this is, but I wasn't really listening. Part of my brain was trying to decipher Nagato's speech the other day, and the other part was trying to decipher what Nagato meant by a relationship between me and someone I've never met.

That day, I trudged back to our clubroom, wondering what the point of it was, considering today would be like any other Monday. However, when I arrived there, Haruhi was in a bad mood.

Hey, what's wrong, Haruhi?

"Oh, it's nothing, really. Its' just that Mikuru told me my older sister entered her class.

Haruhi has a sister? I wonder what she's like. I hope I don't have to meet her.

"Hiii!" A (loud) voice shouted from behind me. "Are you heeeere, Haru-channnn?"

I turned around, and I couldn't believe what I saw. The girl who I assumed was Haruhi's sister was about my height, and was more well-endowed then Asahina-san. She was almost the exact replica of Haruhi, with hair about as long as when I first met Haruhi, tied into a ponytail (damned ponytail fetish).

"Oh no…" I watched as Haruhi's face grew pail white. I grabbed the camera of the shelf, and took a picture of her, making a mental note to upload it into the Asahina gallery later.

Haruhi's sister walked right past Haruhi to me, and grabbed onto my collar, pulling me away from where I had just put the camera down.

"Hiiii, my name is Harumi Suzumiya, what's yours?"

"T-that's Kyon…" Haruhi stuttered, red-faced, trying to pull her sister off me.

"Ohhhh, Kyon, huh?" She said, grinning at me.

"Brigade members, you can leave now!" Haruhi shouted, restraining her sister. "And that means you, Kyon!"

Haruhi POV

"Soooo, Haru-chan, what is your relationship with Kyon?" My sister asked, poking my cheek the way she does when she wants to annoy me.

"He's my slave." Was my direct response. There is absolutely no way I will let that vixen learn the truth about my feelings.

"Well Haru-chan, if he's not spoken for, I'll just go after him myself. You don't mind, right?" She said grinning, before walking away.

Damn her.

Normal POV

Wait a second Koizumi; are you saying Harumi has the same power as her sister?

"Yes." He said, entering serious mode. "Harumi-san also has the ability to alter reality as she wishes.

So what does that mean for us?

Well, a large number of closed spaces have been appearing recently, and it's your fault.

What?! How is it my fault?!

Well, Suzumiya-san didn't like the fact you were flirting with a girl when you were supposed to be working, and her sister is mad about the fact you don't like her.

These words made my face grow paler then when Haruhi did earlier.

Than that means…

"That's right, Kyon." He said, his annoying, fake smile returning. "Romance or death, Kyon. It's your choice. Or like how Hiruko told you, your destiny has been split between two paths.

Who is Hiruko, anyway?

"Sorry Kyon, but I can't answer that. You should ask him yourself, if you can remember what he looks like." Jerk.

Wait, Koizumi, is it possible for someone like me to enter a closed space?

"No, why? Wait, did you enter that closed space the other day?" Suddenly, the smile fell away from his face.

Yes.

"Interesting, I'll have to talk to my superiors about that…" His annoying grin once again returned, and he walked ahead to where I assumed his superiors lived.

Mukuro: How was my second chapter? Bad? Good? Horrible? Hiruko will appear next chapter, I promise! Now REVIEW!

Mukuro Out