Disclaimer: I own NOTHING except my OC. Credit goes to the creator of Tokyo Ghoul!

--*--

A/N:Rewritten on 10/16/17

Another edit for the story. I redid some scenes and erased some events that seemed off to the story. Of course, majority of these have been overhauled but I can't guarantee that there won't be any grammatical errors, missing words, and misspellings since it's hard enough as it is to proofread your own work.

Also, the rating would be changed to 'M' due to the swearing and the typical TG gore and blood-fest scenes.

--*--

Chapter II: Aftermath

"It was you who brought color to my life. You changed my life, all by yourself."

-Sawako Kuronuma (Kimi ni Todoke)-

--*--

I stared at the ceiling of my room, books scattered here and there and the T.V. switched on to some unknown channel.

How long has it been since that day Kaneki and I spoke about her? Had it been a week already or maybe two? I don't know... I lost count on the day the doctors told me he was finally stable but was forbidden to see any visitors.

I only got to see him once and that was the day he told me to never say anything about Rize being a Ghoul, that her death was all some sort of accident and he got injured when she tried to save him. I didn't understand why Kaneki begged me not to tell Hide, why he would protect a Ghoul like Rize... but nevertheless I complied and kept the whole thing to myself for his sake... I didn't want Hide to worry about it too. It was then I realized that it was probably because as his friends, we should have noticed it sooner but we didn't and it felt like we failed him as a friend.

I didn't want Hide to think of that too.

-*Ring* *Ring*-

My eyes wandered to my phone and I saw Hide's name on the screen. How long has it been since I last went to school? I don't remember... Actually, I don't really care.

Tears stung my eyes as the events on that day replayed over and over my mind. Kaneki's bloody body and Rize's declaration as a Ghoul... I didn't want to believe it was all real but every time I call Kaneki's number and no one answers, I know that none of it was a dream. That Ghouls are dangerous and that my friend nearly got killed by one.

'Was the girl registered as an organ donor? Do you even have approval from her family?''Did you let her die? As a doctor, aren't you supposed to exhaust every option!?'

'Her death was confirmed when she was brought in. We believe that she had died instantly. And I also believe that it is my mission as a doctor to save lives that are presented to me. That is how I made my decision.' The T.V. droned on, my back against it as I stared absent-mindedly at the passing clouds in the sky. A knock resounded from my door and I weakly shouted a 'wait' before switching off the T.V. and walking to the door.

"What the hell? You look like a mess, Ayame." Hide greeted me when I let him in. He placed a few notes on the table before helping himself to some coffee and junk food.

"I don't need the notes, Hide. Why are you even here?" I snapped while he continued to watch me fix my stuff. I know he was only concerned but I didn't like it. It was my fault after all, why Kaneki's in the hospital right now.

"I'm here to stop you from making a mess of yourself." He pointed out and that's when I lost it and grabbed him by the collar.

"H-how could you even say that? You weren't even there when it happened! If I hadn't done it then maybe he'd have never met a-," I stopped and let Hide go.

That's right, I couldn't tell a soul about Rize's true nature. I could only glare at him and pushed him away clumsily which earned me a painful thump to the ground on my bottom.

Looking down on me with pity, Hide could only reach out his hand to help me up as he spoke, "If Kaneki found out what you were doing these past few days do think he'd be happy? He's alive isn't he and that's what matters. Stop putting the blame on yourself, Ayame. It was no one's fault."

All the frustration and regret bottled up in me was beginning to flow out at his words. I know it was no one's fault but I just can't help it. I feel responsible for what happened to Kaneki but I should've also realized that Hide felt the same too.

Although he looked cheerful to me, I knew deep down he was just as worried. He may look like he carried it better than me but his eyes betrayed the fear in them at the state of our friend. It made me guilty at how much of a mess I was and blaming myself while Hide tried to stay strong for me.

I cried like a child on his chest upon realizing these thoughts. Crying for both me and Hide for having to watch our own friend go through such a hard time. Hide was never one to openly cry, always keeping it to himself until everyone was gone. He wanted to look strong that way but his eyes always betrayed him.

It was a given that Kaneki was the cry baby from the three of us, while I was almost in between. I always tried to hold my tears whenever I got caught in a fight trying to defend Kaneki. Even though I act like a tough guy, Hide and Kaneki always found a way to break down my walls and let the tears out.

I felt his hand pat me gently on the back to calm me down while I continued to sob on him, grasping onto his shirt tightly until it turned into hiccups and sniffles.

I know Hide can be stubborn, so crying for him was all I could do. When he returned my gesture with a firm embrace of his own, I knew that his own mask was beginning to crack too.

For the sake of cheering him up, all I could do was quickly push him away when I finally calmed down and realized the position we were in. He seemed confused at first but thankful nonetheless when I saw him lift his lips up a bit into a light smile when he realized what I was trying to do.

"Ugh, you will not speak about this to anyone EVER! You hear me, Hideyoshi?" I sniffled and his eyes softened as he nodded.

"Aye, aye ma'm. But there's no stopping me from telling Kaneki after we head on over to Big Girl later." Hide's smile widened, the event momentarily forgotten when he saw my eyes turn into saucers.

"He's finally discharged? Since when?" I shook him rather harshly, his eyes swirling from the sudden action.

"If you were more attentive to your phone then maybe you'd have known sooner. Knowing you, you refused to answer any calls hence the reason why I came to pick you up." Hide pointed out and I squealed in relief at the thought of Kaneki finally up and walking. The memories of that night slowly fading from my mind when I quickly ran to the bathroom to get changed.

Kaneki... he's going to be okay.

--*--

"Hide! Ayame-san!" My head whipped up to see Kaneki running towards us. We both waved back but I was the one who ran towards him and engulfed him in a bear hug.

"Oh god! I'm so glad you're alright! Hide and I missed you so much! How are you? Did they treat you right? Are you hungry? Hide's treating us to some hamburgers, I can't wait! Big Girl has the best hamburgers after all." A jet stream of words tumbled out of my mouth surprising both him and Hide. I couldn't help it though, I was worried sick after all.

"Well I'm fine if you're asking. How about you guys?"

"Ha, fine as ever but Kaneki you should have seen Ayame cry a while ago. I never realized she was the clingy type when she cried." Hide whispered and I slammed him on the head with my fist.

"It was supposed to be a secret, Hide!" I blushed red in embarrassment and I saw Kaneki laugh making me turn even redder.

"Did she now... Thanks for worrying Ayame but no need to worry. I'm back." He smiled the honorifics gone to show he was serious while I wiped the tears from my eyes that threatened to escape.

"Kaneki! You made her cry again, now that's a feat haha."

"A-Ayame-san!?."

"You idiots!" I cried while giving them the happiest smile I could manage. Both of them returned the gesture before Hide broke the trance by stating that we'd better head on inside since he was starving.

"Ayame-san." Kaneki called out when Hide walked into the restaurant.

"Mhm?" I turned waiting for a response.

"Thanks." He smiled and I returned the smile with a crooked one of my own.

"Anything for a friend."

--*--

"Three big burgers oh but I'll have eggs on mine." Hide ordered when we got in and took our seat while the waitress jotted it down before walking off to deliver the order.

I continued to fiddle with the straw in my drink while Hide complimented the waitress' courteous gestures. Everything felt so peaceful today, as if this was like every other day we'd hang out to get something to eat, the events of last night drifting off into some far away recesses of my mind. It made me feel comfortable whild I rested my head on my propped up arm and listened to the noisy chatter of people around us.

"But anyway, your doctor sure took a lot of flak, didn't he? On the talk shows and stuff there was nothing else." Hide brought up, causing me to stiffen while I glanced at Kaneki as he leaned on his chair, swirling the drink inside the glass.

"Your doctor was on news? I didn't seem to notice though."

"Geez, Ayame. It was all over the news!" Hide sighed in exasperation and I shrugged at his response.

"Sorry, I wasn't in the mood those days." I apologized as I picked at one of the ice cubes in my drink. I was so worried about Kaneki's well-being that I guess I never really tuned in more into the real world.

"Well anyways, the problem was performing the transplant without the consent of the board or the bereaved family." Kaneki explained and Hide nodded.

"But that girl... she didn't have a family, right? And besides, she really did seem dead on arrival." Hide elaborated and saw Kaneki's face turn grim. I stopped picking at the ice cube as the words clicked in and my eyes went wide as I turned to Kaneki.

"T-transplant? They performed a transplant on you? Who was the donor?" I asked in disbelief and I saw Hide sigh again and Kaneki's face darkened.

"Are you seriously going to bring this up? The donor was that Rize girl who died remember. God, what's up with you today, Ayame?" Hide clicked his tongue and then snapped his head to Kaneki who seemed just as out of it ad I was.

"Oh, sorry about bringing it up." Hide apologized but Kaneki assured him it was alright. I, on the other hand, gripped my glass tightly at the idea that Ghoul parts are somehow inside of my friend right now. What was that doctor even thinking? What if something bad happened to him because of that?

"So, isn't there a guy named Nishitani in your department, Kaneki? I saw his girlfriend the other day and she looks exactly like that pro-wrestler Nakasu..." Hide changed the topic but I noticed that Kaneki wasn't even listening one bit. His eyes looked glazed and I saw a bit of saliva drooling from his mouth.

"Oi, Kaneki! You're ignoring my fascinating story." Hide complained, snapping Kaneki back to reality while he quickly wiped the drool away and just looked down.

"I'm listening, Hide. You got a pro-wrestler for a girlfriend... congrats." Kaneki waved him off and I frowned. What could he be thinking about so deeply? Could it be about what Hide said about his doctor? Or maybe I'm just being paranoid and over-analyzed it?

Knowing Hide and his gifted detective skills, he should have noticed something as obvious as this. If he's playing stupid then he's hiding it well. I wanted to ask Kaneki if he was alright but with the way things were right now, I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Thanks for waiting!" The meal was finally served as we all gave our blessings and readied our utensils. I took a bite and savored the delicious taste of the food in my mouth. Ah, Big Girl has delicious hamburgers indeed.

"Hm? You're not eating?" Hide asked worriedly and I turned to see Kaneki staring at his food as if it was some sort of alien from outer space.

"Oh, Yeah..." He snapped from his daze and quickly took a bite as Hide munched on another piece of hamburger.

"Guys... are your meats cooked okay?" He suddenly asked before downing all his water in one chug. We looked at him weirdly before nodding to his answer.

"Why is it undercooked?" Hide asked and Kaneki nodded.

"Yeah..."

"Well how about you take mine then, I'm not really that hungry." I say as I pass my plate on to him. He gives my plate a long stare as if he was contemplating about something before taking a piece of the meat and chewing on it. His eyes went wide before he heaved up the entire contents of his stomach on the table.

"Kaneki!?" I rubbed his back gently as I stood up to his side while Hide called for a waitress to clean up the mess and ask for the bill.

"You didn't have to force yourself if you're still sick, you know." I reprimanded him as I led him to the bathroom's sink to clean him up.

"I'm fine, really. It's just that, I've been having difficulty eating, that's all. I guess I'm not used to eating solid foods yet after being in an IV drip for almost a month." Kaneki assured me before he heaved again while I massaged him gently on the back.

"Geez, Kaneki. You should really go see a doctor."

"I-I... I guess I should."

--*--

I opened the door to my house and turned on the light. Despite my incessant plea of accompanying him to the doctor, Kaneki assured me he was well enough to go there himself. I understand he doesn't want me to worry but I just can't help it. Besides my family, they're important to me too so I can't help but feel like an overprotective person towards them. I switched the T.V. on to drown out my stress before I headed off to the kitchenette to cooked myself some instant noodles.

'Due to the predatory Ghoul incident that happened near the Takada Building. People are at unease at the thought of Tokyo being attacked.' The woman announced and I perked my ears at the news being broadcasted right now.

'Today we have an expert from the Ghoul research division. Here is Dr. Ogura to give us more information.' The same shady man appeared on the television as he began his long speech on the diet of ghouls.

'Ghouls, you know, have to consume large amount of meals in a short term. They can survive a month or two on one dead body. But there are a number of Ghouls who consume more than one for the sake of pleasure. Make no mistake these are nasty creatures.' He explained as my eyes remained glued to the screen.

So no wonder Rize attacked those people... to Ghouls, humans are just food to be eaten.

By why go to such lengths. Why not eat the same food we eat?

'Can't Ghouls be satisfied with just ordinary food?' As if reading my mind, the woman asked the question and I saw the doctor laugh as if she had just asked something stupid.

'You're on that seat and yet you know nothing. Ghouls are incapable of digesting any food that is of non-human origin. This is probably due to a particular enzyme they have. Furthermore, because the structure of their tongue is different from ours, human food feels very uncomfortable to them.' My eyes went wide at his explanation as the events with Rize, Kaneki's transplant, and the event at Big Girl swirled in my mind.

Could it be that when they transplanted Rize's organs into Kaneki? Could he have suddenly turned into a Ghoul?!

I quickly fumbled for my phone and dialed his number. After a few rings, voice mail picked up and dread washed over me as I quickly scrambled into my jeans and hoodie and dashed out of my apartment. Hide and Kaneki lived not too far from me, seeing as the dorms were quite huddled to each other, so getting to their home took only a few minutes.

A few minutes that, to me right now, was very important with the revelation I had just received...

"It's stupid to think this way but I just can't shake the feeling..." I huff to myself as I run towards the direction of his house. I could see the lights swtiched on inside while I walked up to the apartment to knock on his door.

"Kaneki? Are you home?" I called out from outside before the sound of footsteps followed and the door opened slightly to reveal the tired face of my friend. He looked out of it, his hair completely disheveled and his face unnaturally pale that it made me wonder if he did go to the doctor like I told him to or just went home or maybe… went hunting for food.

"Ayame-san… what are you doing here?" He asked me which made me freeze at what I was about to say. Was it safe to tell him my hypothesis? It's been bugging me since he'd been so out of it after his discharge but this was Kaneki I was talking to. Wouldn't he tell me if something was bothering him? Am I really just doubting him, thinking that he could be hiding something from me? Is that really a good way a friend should react? But I was worried and it didn't help he looked so ragged right now. I closed my eyes and shook my head. He had to know what I was feeling. If he didn't then he'd never tell me.

"I was just worried. You weren't answering your calls so I thought something might have happened. Did you go see a doctor?" I asked him honestly and I saw his eyes soften and shook his head.

"I'm sorry but I didn't get the chance to… maybe tomorrow. I'm sorry if I made you worry, I fell asleep when I got home."

"What! I'm so sorry for disturbing you… really I am. It's been a day after your discharge so you must be tired. I'm sorry." I apologized profusely which earned me a tired laugh as he waved it off. I felt at ease to know he still had the strength to pull off a light mood. Maybe I was hallucinating? Maybe I was just so caught up in worry that I acted more of a mother hen around him.

"I'm glad to know you're concerned about my well-being but I'm fine, really. I'm fine…" He chuckled while resting his hand on his chin, my eyebrows raising curiously at his action.

"Are you really fine?" I asked again wondering why he would be hiding something from me. I wasn't stupid, we've be together since we were kids. Hide told me back then that when he hid something, he would usually rub his chin as a habit. But why wouldn't he tell me anything? What's really going on? Was I not worth it of the news to know what he was hiding? Did Hide know about this?

"I am. I'm as fine as I'll ever be. I just need some rest." He lied again but I didn't bother to pry any further than I should. Maybe it wasn't the right time, maybe he'll tell me when everything finally calms down. I know Kaneki… he would never hide anything from me.

"Okay. Sorry for disturbing you then. Good night." I greet him and he returns the gesture with his own as he begins to close the door. Giving up for now was the only thing I could do. Maybe I should talk to Hide? Maybe he'd know what to do.

"Oh, Kaneki." I add one more time as I watch his eyes turn to me with curiosity and worry.

"Yes?"

"Always remember, okay. That no matter what happens Hide and I will always be right by your side." I assure him with a small smile, my final attempt to see if he would budge and I watch his eyes widen slowly before he smiles, a smile that for some reason felt so lonely and empty to me.

It looks like I failed...

"I know… I know." He trails off before he closes the door and I walk down the building.

"Maybe I'm just being paranoid... yeah, that's right this could all be just a case of paranoia. Ever since that day, I just felt like everything changed ever since he met Rize. I have to understand she's gone and that everything's back to normal but why am I still feeling uneasy.

As if I'm missing the bigger picture in all of this...

--*--

"Knock, Knock!" I called out while knocking on the door but no one answered. I could hear the sound of running water inside so I knew he was home.

I just really couldn't get it together after the events of last night. I know it was becoming too forceful but I was his friend, right? I had to know how he was doing. He shouldn't be hiding something like this to me after all. I was so worried about him during those days he wasn't at home and was in the hospital. If only he could understand and just tell me what's wrong. It wasn't out of paranoia anymore, it was out of concern and it wasn't helping that he was being secretive about it. If it meant knocking him senseless to get him to speak then I would do it.

A minute passed before I huffed and pulled out a spare key from my bag that jingled next to Hide's spare key and my own. Seriously, it's a good thing three of us each had a spare key made for our apartments in cases like these. Seeing as it was only the three of us to fend for ourselves here in Tokyo, we decided to have spares made in the event something wrong might happen and we needed help.

"I'm coming in!" I warned him and opened the door to see a dark apartment greeting me. I cautiously removed my shoes by the racks and gripped my bag hard as I walked past the hallway towards the kitchen to see the faucet turned on.

"Kaneki?" I called out worriedly after switching the faucet off and went to search for him in the house. Seriously, this is a small apartment, the least he could do is holler to tell me where he is. After checking the empty bathroom, I was about to check his room when I tripped and fell face first on the floor.

"Ouch! what the-," I nearly cursed in pain but stopped when I saw Kaneki sprawled on the floor, his favorite book in hand and his eyes staring blankly into space. I quickly scrambled off my position and checked for his pulse. Oh good, still alive... but why on earth would he be on the floor? He has a bed right over there? Could he be sick? I knew it! He really wasn't feeling well. To be hiding something like this from me? Did he really think I wasn't worth it to know about this?

"Kaneki! Are you okay!? Seriously get up, what on earth are you doing on the floor?" I reprimanded him as I helped him up and dragged him to the bed. He still seemed out of it until his eyes went wide and he pushed me away rather painfully.

"What was that for!?" I answered angrily until I saw the horror on his face as he quickly covered his salivating mouth.

"A-Ayame-san? How did you get in? No, never mind that, just get out!" He begged, no it sounded more of a demand. I sighed angrily at his panicked face and whacked him on the head.

"Idiot! I was worried when you were giving me those off answers last night. I'm not stupid Kaneki so I know when you're hiding something. Lo and behold here you are! I knew getting us spare keys was a good idea. You look sick and you need to see a doctor! I can't believe I left you alone to suffer last night." I explained while I grabbed his hand and tried to help him up to the door.

He shrugged his arm off from my grip and stomped to the bathroom to turn on the faucet, "I don't need a doctor! I hate him, it's his fault why I'm like this!"

Following his form, I saw him taking deep breaths in the sink like he was going to heave again and it made me worry about what he had just said.

"His fault...All he did was-," I paused and when realization hit, I felt my blood turn cold. No way... but I was so sure he looked fine last night... There's no possible way he would have turned into a Ghoul, but if what Kaneki said was right and by some odd mutation, receiving Rize's organs had really turned him into a Ghoul then...

"No matter where I go... I can smell it, the scent of food and yet when I look-," He cried and when he turned to me my eyes went wide and fear overtook when I saw his left eye turn into a mix of black and red.

"K-Kaneki?" I weakly called out as I backed away a bit from him. He stopped talking and his head lowered itself as if contemplating about something but I knew that wasn't the case. How long has it been since he last ate? Knowing him he would never have the heart to kill a human so the question should be...

How much self-control did he have left?

"You know... it feels so odd. Back then, you smelled so much of perfume but now... why is it that you smell like...food..." He rambled and I flinched as his eyes hungrily looked into mine.

"Just one bite... I haven't had a meal for so long and I am so hungry..." He continued to salivate before he pounced to lunge at me and I dodged him just in time and ran for the door. Dammit! So he did turn into a Ghoul and now he's as hungry as a starved lion. I want to believe that he wouldn't kill me but those eyes-

I knew he couldn't see me in them.

"Shit!" I panicked before I dodged his attack again and ran to his room when he blocked the way to the door. Okay, make it a smart and hungry lion. He obviously knew I was aiming for the door behind him. I backed away slowly from him, hoping to see an opening and make a run for it.

"Kaneki! Get a grip on yourself! It's me remember! It's Ayame! You wouldn't eat your friend right? I know deep down you wouldn't. You're human, Kaneki! What about Hide? Do you think he's food? He's not right! Right!? Dammit Kaneki snap out of it!" I begged, frightened as the gap between us grew closer. Am I not even getting to him?

"Now!" I scream and just when he jumped, I swerve to the left and made a mad dash to the door. Just a bit more and-

My felt my feet trip on something and my entire body hits the cold wooden floor. I turn to the source of my doom and I saw Kaneki's book sprawled on the floor. Dammit book, you take vengeance on me at a time like this!?

"Meat...just one bite..." I flinched and I turned to see Kaneki looming over me, his mouth turning frothy like a rabid dog and his left eye pulsating a nightmarish red. I gulped and tried to back away as fast as I could but his hand shot out and grabbed me by the arm. I tried to pry it free and it sent us tumbling on the ground with him on top of me.

Fuck.

"Kaneki, please! Please snap out of it!" I felt tears overwhelming me as he drew closer, the fear in the pit of my stomach about to explode. My heartbeat quickened and my breathing hitched as I did my best to kick him off of me. His grip on me only tightened as he straddled my waist to keep me from kicking him.

"Kaneki! You idiot! Dammit, get a hold of yourself!" I did my best to struggle and kick at the same time. Please, just wake up!

-*Crunch*-

Unbearable pain like a dull knife twisting itself on my shoulder before being harshly pulled out caused me to emit an ear-splitting scream from my throat before his hand clamped my mouth shut from making any more noise. Something wet and sticky coated my shirt as I saw Kaneki's face rise and his tongue darted out to lick the blood off his lips.

The coppery scent of my blood entered my nostrils, making me squirm in pain, my labored breaths in near hyperventilation was like an animal about to be slaughtered. My eyes stared in horror at the sight as he savored the taste, the blood on his lips dripping on my cheek which made me flinch. The pain was unbearable, like my shoulder was being pressed until it broke - pinpricks of tears trickling down my face in the process.

The blood was pooling until it reached my shirt's sleeve, the blood being soaked by the sleeve as well and making it sticky. I flinched when his thumb wiped the blood off my cheek mercilessly before he lifted it up to his lips to lick it off.

The incapability of escape made me numb and frozen in terror, my eyes hazily watching my own childhood friend about to eat me whole. It was like I was a pig about to be culled and eaten by the lion- I didn't think that my own friend would be the one killing me.

His head lowered again to lap at my wounded and possibly torn shoulder, my body flinching at the burning sensation his tongue did on my wound. He was obviously taking it slowly regardless of his hunger, he wanted to probably savor the dish before digging in. It made me shiver because this wasn't him acting of his own volition. He was in pain and losing control of his sanity because of hunger.

Even normal humans would eat each other in such a case.

I tried to stop him from committing this unforgivable mistake. Knowing him, he would never forgive himself if he killed me all because he lost control. As much as it horrified me, he was a ghoul now... And as his friend, as the one person besides Hide who he could count on, I had to help him go through with this painful process.

After all, it had been me who had caused that meeting and I have to shoulder that burden until the end.

"K-Kaneki? Are you- can you hear me now?" I tested to see if he was sane enough to negotiate with, using my other hand to rest itself on his chest and lightly push him. I flinched when he growled at my attempt, both his hands suddenly gripped my arms tightly and slammed it down onto the wooden floor.

I yelped in pain at the ferocity and that must've been enough to snap him back to reality, his head jerking up while his eyes slowly went wide when he met my glazed and fearful ones before he quickly jolted away from me as if he was being electrocuted.

"A-Ayame-san? Shit, what have I done?! No, no, no, I'm not a monster! I'm human... I'm human... I'm not a monster..." He suddenly whimpered and sobbed as he collapsed on the floor at the realization of what he had nearly done. The coppery smell of blood still stuck to my nose as I weakly got up and felt my shoulder. Groves of what felt like bite marks marred my skin while blood still continued to flow from it.

I watched his whimpering figure at the end of the room, mumbling incoherent words as he shook uncontrollably. I still couldn't move, the shock was still there. The fear of death gripped me as I watched him, his body hunched and his hands raised in defense as he tried to block his face from seeing mine.

"I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... Ayame-san..." He continued his wails as I watched him, my other hand trying in vain to stop the overflowing blood escaping my wound.

"Kaneki..." I tried to call out his name, watching him flinch when I did so. The fear within me vanished this time as I observed him crying in anguish. What was I thinking? This was no monster... even if he did just attack me... this was no monster...

This was- is my friend- Kaneki Ken.

-Flashback-

"Hide's not here to protect you again, wimp!" The sound of raucous laughing made me look up from what I was doing and I saw a group of boys crowding around a boy with black hair and eyes. He whimpered at their pushing and I flinched when he tripped and fell in the river.

"Hahaha! Serves you right, let's go guys." The boys sneered as I watched them leave. I turned to the boy, who was drenched in water, as he quickly saved the soaked book and walked to the grassy meadow. I could see the tears overwhelming his eyes while he controlled the urge not to cry.

"It's no wonder they won't stop. You look like an easy prey to pick on." He flinches at my voice and he turns to see me standing in front of him.

"Rather than a person who hurts others, become the person who gets hurt... If I retaliated... I don't want them to hurt Hide too... So I'll endure it for the both of us," He says and I raise an eyebrow curiously at him before laughing at him.

"What's so funny!?" He demanded in embarrassment.

"Relax! For a kid like me, you have an odd way of thinking." I admit and I see him look at me with a frown still on his face.

"Is... that wrong?"

"Not really but... I admire your self-sacrifice, it makes me jealous," I say and I see him shyly look away. I guess he was never the type to receive such compliments.

"Well... thanks for the compliment. My name's Kaneki Ken by the way." He smiled awkwardly and I felt it right to return the sentiment with my own confident grin.

"Fujiko Ayame, nice to meet you, Kaneki Ken." I greet as well before shedding off my jacket and draping it around his shivering figure. His eyes widen at the abrupt gesture before his cheeks blush scarlet.

"M-My home's not too far so you didn't have to-"

"Idiot. I'm your friend now so I do what I can for you! It'd be lonely to play alone so I don't want you to get sick." I proclaim loudly making him flinch.

"H-Hai!" He stutters and I giggled.

Yup, I definitely found myself a good friend. The color I was searching for in this blank canvas - it had to be him.

-Time skip: Tomorrow-

"Hide!" I heard Kaneki yell one day and I get up from my seat to look out the window and see the same boys ganging up on Kaneki and a sandy-haired boy. I gripped my paper tight, got up from my seat, and slid the window of the school open before jumping out.

"Looks like you're outnumbered, Hideyoshi! What do you have to say for yourself? If ya just let us play with bookworm there then maybe you wouldn't be in this position." The kid taunted and the kid named Hideyoshi glared at him.

"As if I'd let you harm my friend!" He shouted and the kid grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up.

The boy was ready to aim his fist at Hideyoshi before speaking, "Ya sayin' something Hideyoshi? Would you like a little piece of this or something?"

"Pick on someone your own size!" I screamed bloody murder and as he turned, a huge branch hit him and knocked him out, blood oozed down his face and I saw his lackeys cower in fear at my glare.

"It's an ape-woman!" They screamed in horror and ran off inside the room. I huffed triumphantly at myself, both my hands on my hips, before turning to the two boys behind me.

"A-Ayame-san?" Kaneki said in disbelief.

"W-wait? You know this brute girl, Kaneki?" Hideyoshi gulped as I glared at him at using the word 'brute'.

"Yeah, I met her by the riverside during dismissal the other day." Kaneki recounted.

"Fujiko Ayame! Get in here this instant!" The teacher's voice made us flinch and I saw both of them looking at me worriedly.

Kaneki nervously called for me, "A-Ayame-san..."

"Aw man, you're so dead!" Hideyoshi clicked his tongue worriedly for my sake before he added, "Why'd you have to go and fight our battles?"

I ended up laughing at his words, making them even more worried before I spoke, "Rather than a person who hurts others, become the person who gets hurt... I learned that saying from someone..."

I see Kaneki lift his head to face me, surprise written on his face at what I had said. He probably didn't expect me to use his words against them.

"I see. How noble of you. Thanks by the way, the name's Nagachika Hideyoshi but Hide is fine." Hide grins as he reaches out his hand for a shake. I take it and we firmly shake hands.

"Fujiko Ayame, a pleasure to meet you."

-End-

"That's right..." I say as I crawl my way to my friend's fetal form. He was in pain... he tried to control this by himself even if this wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault... so why? Tears trickled down my face as I watched him pitifully.

"Why did it have to be him? It was my fault right? So why am I not the one being punished for being so ignorant about it?" I whisper as I try to reach out to him, his form visibly shaking. His face refused to turn to me, to let me see what he had become and it only made me guilty-

He didn't deserve any of this.

"Kaneki... I'm so sorry," I repeatedly apologized, it was all I could give him but it would never be enough. I couldn't turn back time, to take back having ever mustered the courage to push him with a Ghoul like Rize.

Would comforting help? Or would it only make me an insensitive person because I could say it so easily since I wasn't the one suffering.

Steadying my voice, knowing that it was the only thing I knew I could do to atone, I spoke, "You told me when we first me that, rather than a person who hurts others, become the person who gets hurt. Well, I don't want you to hurt anymore... you and Hide are important to me too so please..."

I gingerly took his bloody hand over mine, his body freezing before tearing away from me and backed away as much as possible. He was like a wounded dog, cowering in the corner- hoping to melt into the walls and stay as far from me as possible.

He knew what he had become and it's because of that realization he believes that he could never stay with us. How typical of him. Acting like a martyr...

So I tried again to take his hand because I was just as responsible for him turning into this.

"No, no, no! Let me go, I'm not a monster! I'm not a monster!" He tried to push away but I gripped him tightly.

"You idiot!" I finally yelled at him before continuing when I managed to make him meet my own eyes, "Who ever said you were one? To me you're still Kaneki Ken, my best friend! So what if you look different or eat different!? Does that really make you a monster? What matters is the heart... you have the kindest heart in the whole wide world. How could you even say you're a monster because of that?"

"A-Ayame-san..." His voice cracks while I gently grip his hand and mustered a small smile.

"Yes. I'm here, Kaneki."

His pitiful whimpers resound in the confines of his room, his grip on my hand tightening as he repeated aloud that he was no monster while I assured him so that he was not one.

Just as the adrenaline settled down, I could feel my whole body grow heavy. It looks like I used up all my energy... At least, I managed to calm him down.

"Ayame-san?!" Kaneki called out to me worriedly, his body suddenly moving forward to catch me before my face could hit the floor.

His body was warm, the beating of his heart like a lullaby sending me to sleep. "I'm sorry... I must be feeling tired after all that..."

"I-what should I do?" He panicked, making me chuckle at his childish worrying. Glad to know he's somewhat back to normal.

"Just let me sleep, Kaneki..." I murmured when I felt sleep taking its hold, my eyes fluttering shut.

I could feel his hold on me tighten before my body felt like it was being adjusted and an arm was suddenly hooked under my legs and I was hoisted up, my ears having the perfect angle to properly hear his heartbeat.

I guess Hide is right... I am too noble. I laugh inwardly as I begin to doze off, the soft sheets of his bed greeting my tired body when he settled me down. I guess there was nothing to fear. Kaneki's a good person who would never hurt anyone no matter how evil they were.

That is why I have to protect them.

--To be Continued--

And done! Whoo that was hard to edit. I guess everyone knows what's next right!? Yup we finally get to meet up with my favorite female character of the series, Touka-chan! Hope you rate and review guys!