Chapter Two: A Voluntary Practically Blind Date
Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko watched in amusement as Joker struggled to put on his 'good' black dress shoes dressed in black trousers and a dark blue shirt liberated from Kaidan's hastily opened suitcase. The rest of the quarters looked like a bomb had hit it with various items of clothing sitting in piles at various points around the room with others flung about and left where they landed. Impressive as they were the only people who'd come board so far and Kaidan was only on the ship five minutes. They were in their quarters on their newly assigned ship, the Normandy, and while the rest of the crew were still due to turn up to receive orders, Joker was getting ready to leave.
On a date. A bind date. Sort of.
It had been at that point that Kaidan had looked at his friend's frayed t-shirt and started to open his own suitcase delving into its inner depths, adamant that you had to try a little harder than that if you were going on a date.
Kaidan had served with the sarcastic git of a pilot before and they had struck up a friendship in the medbay. They'd also be sharing quarters during this assignment due to their shared medical issues. They didn't mind. It may have meant having to report for duty before the rest of the crew but the perks were worth it. Kaidan's migraines meant that they got decent lighting and Joker's crutches and that meant they got the largest room on ship excepting the captain's, and a much larger bathroom.
All the same, the ever early Lieutenant had been surprised to find from a turian engineer who was finishing up some last minute tests on the finer details on the contamination seal that a limping human had arrived almost a standard hour earlier and asked if it was possible to go on early. Kaidan had instantly gone to find Joker. Partially due to his crutches and partially due to his terrible time keeping, the pilot was never on time never mind early unless he had to be. Finding their shared quarters he had found his friend showered and dressing to leave.
"You can't leave you idiot, you have to mingle and make small talk with the new crew you dipstick." Kaidan had reminded him. It was one of the most tedious and awkward things that had to be done when you were reassigned to a new ship especially if it was an entire new crew. Joker had shrugged it off and then told his friend about his date.
Several days earlier, after he'd been checked his legs for any injuries, of which there hadn't been any mainly due to falling on top of the girl, he'd swung around to roar at her - "I was absolutely furious because there had been all those gits from the Assaye in Flux and they'd annoyed me to hell." It was then that he's realised that she was in a much worse state than him. Blood was running the length of her leg from a rather deep wound on her thigh, there had been a gash in her face and her nose was bleeding rather badly –"and the more I looked the more blood there was."
On top of that she was still gasping for air and gone incredibly pale. She was so busy trying to grab the sheets of paper – and who used paper in this day and age anyway? - that she didn't seem to have noticed. He'd introduced himself and she'd recognised his name from his test scores which had made him blush.
Yes, the arrogant, sarky, prickly git of a man had blushed because a girl was nice to him
She was gorgeous, brown eyes, brown curly hair which must have reached her waist easily and,well, she was hot. She'd introduced herself as Anna Kai as he passed over some of the sheets of paper and she'd seemed very sweet.
When a rather steely turian, a pretty old one as far as he could tell and there was something about the way he walked that screamed importance, had arrived and demanded what was going on Joker had felt more than slightly apprehensive. She'd turned to the turian and said, 'Nothing Venari, I knocked him over that's all,' and tried to get to her feet. The turian had lifted Joker up from the floor in one smooth movement, handed him his crutches and only just caught the girl when she stumbled. He picked her up before ruffling her hair as she tried to swat him away and Joker swore he thought he was going to pass away quietly where he stood.
"Really Kaidan, you want to see this girl she's a slip of nothing with brown curls and big doe brown eyes and she's swatting away this turian like a overprotective big brother.."He'd spread medigel on most of her wounds - "If the Terra Firma lot or even bigger freaks had gotten their hands on it they'd have gone mad!" -and offered to walk her home. She'd agreed but then turned to Joker and offered to take him to dinner this evening, a few nights after the incident, to make up for it.
"I already asked Captain Anderson to be excused from the party tonight and he said it was fine." Kaidan brushed back his hair and laughed.
"You like this girl, don't you?." Joker went very quiet and nodded slowly. Kaidan whooped.
"Joker has a crush, Joker has a crush -" Fortunately before Joker clobbered him to death with his crutches, Kaidan's chanting was interrupted.
A voice echoed through the empty corridors and Kaidan made his way up to where the engineer had been before. There was another older turian with him now, one that the engineer was not prepared to so much as risk looking at and an older lady with a sharp grey bob standing there looking somewhat confused. Her outfit put her down as a doctor so Kaidan assumed she was the ship's doctor. She seemed nice enough although both she and Kaidan gave the two turians plenty of space to finish their work. As a result she and Kaidan found themselves pulling funny faces and trying not to laugh, the unofficial pastime of anyone trying to be as innocuous as possible for any length of time.
The doctor waited until the turians left giving them a polite nod before turning to Kaidan.
"Doctor Francesca Chakwas reporting for duty. Am I early?"
"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Doctor, sorry about the madness. I think so." The doctor surveyed the Normandy apparently absorbing all the detail. Her face creased as a thought occurred to her.
"The serviceman with L2 migranes?" Kaidan nodded and shouted to Joker to get his ass into gear if he didn't want to be late. When Joker reached the doorway she grinned and Joker laughed.
"Frannie! Lovely to see you!" Doctor Chakwas threw him a filthy look.
"Don't call me Frannie, Jeffrey, or I'll box your ears." Joker grinned.
"I see you've already met my good friend Kaidan. Kaidan, this is Doctor Frannie the most formidable lady in the Alliance Fleets. We served together on the Jutland." Introductions on a friendlier setting where made with the good doctor revealing that rumour had it that the famous Captain Anderson and the equally famous Commander Shepard were to lead the crew. Kaidan and Joker spent several minutes assuring her that Captain Anderson was really going to be on board. Soon Kaidan was telling him to get going again.
"You will give them my, I don't know, hello?" remarked Joker before being interrogated by the good doctor into where he was going and why was he abandoning her and Kaidan to the forced politeness of one of these get-togethers without his sharp tongue for a little light relief. Kaidan began to chant again until Joker did clobber him with his left crutch. Joker assured Frannie Chakwas that Kaidan would be happy to fill her in.
A few minutes later Kaidan Alenko and Francesca Chakwas waved off Joker who couldn't decide if he was looking forward or dreading the meeting with the pretty girl after Francesca Chakwas had squealed like a teenager and demanded to know all the details when he came back and had almost passed out when he'd been told just where his date would take place.
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Meanwhile Anna was also expressing doubts over her decision to offer dinner to the Flight Lieutenant. Sha'ira watched from where she was perched at the end of the double bed which was covered in a rather pretty if plain lilac sheet while Anna delved into her wardrobe for what must have been the hundredth time.
The consort had come flying over to her friend's apartment when she'd been told that Anna had issued an invite to Helios to an Alliance flyboy. Even now as she took in all the details of the bedroom she continued to try to get the idea of Anna actively inviting someone with whom she could possible have intimate relations with to Helios which was very out of character for her As far as Sha'ira was concerned there were several reasons to be apprehensive.
One, Helios was massively expensive even when you considered her astronomical pay checks not to mention that Anna was always very careful with her money and, two, what would possess the usually shy Commandant ask a guy out on whim because the Anna she knew was brilliant at taking decisive action in politics, battle and business but not in personal matters. It was much more like Anna to oh and ah over the consequences for several days if not weeks before coming to a decision.
Even more than that was that her choice in perspective partner was a mere flyboy, a regular Alliance military pilot, when she was one first name terms with the most influential and richest people in Citadel space although, having said that, it was probably just as well she'd chosen a human. Anna had more than enough turian friends, and she knew for a fact that more than one found her vaguely attractive despite being a different species altogether simply because they'd stopped seeing her as different.
Now she watched Anna attempt to decide what to wear as if that was an issue, she was influential and as she had dinner in Helios once a month with the Citadel Council no one was going to argue with her. She was too knowledgeable. Apparently Fist, the current troublemaker in the lower wards had claimed that no matter how secretive he was he was always taxed the exact proportion of every penny he made, legally or otherwise although he had no idea how the ever so secretive Commandant managed it. Anna flung a balled up pair of socks towards the appropriate drawer on the other side of the room.
"I don't know what made me do it, really Sha'ira I don't, all apologies had been given and all that so what made me ask him to dinner?" She held up a dress but instantly discarded it for being too dressed up. "What about this?" She held up a dark green dress which reached her knee at which Sha'ira nodded. Anna then delved in to find her shoes to go with them - "boots or shoes? Flat or high?"
"Flat if he has bad legs, he won't need you skittering around, what about those amber boots? After all it is officially winter, you can wear that striped scarf as well if you're going to the Helios." was the asari's response as she read through a datapad regaling the the heights of society on Earth on the bed, not that she would ever admit to it. "Not to mention the poor thing is probably having a heart attack at the idea of meeting a girl he barely knows on a date. So that with your hair down should make it seem more casual." Anna gaped at her friend.
"It is not a date!"
"Sure, that's what you say. You asked him to dinner in the poshest place on the station. I can't afford to go there on a regular basis never mind a regular pilot. Everyone else will hear that nice, pretty little Anna Kai was seen at dinner with an older man, and goddess know it will get out after all we are on the Citadel, and they will think its a date. After all not many people know your rank but you are a well known face sweetie. Anyway what will you care? He'll be in space soon so he won't get any hassle apart from his crew mates so it will be fine."
Sha'ira looked up and seen Anna chewing at her lip as she looked back into the wardrobe and suddenly became very concerned. Anna never let personal matters get to her and here was a man she barely knew getting her all caught up. She around the rather empty bedroom and turned to ask her friend an all too important question.
"Is he cute?" Anna came to a full stop as she thought about it throwing a look at a somewhat battered baseball cap on the bed as she remembered the beard and bright eyes.
"I guess." Sha'ira grinned as she turned back to the magazine remarking,
"You have a crush on him." To her surprise Anna smiled a dazzling smile, looking back at the baseball cap on the bed, and nodded before stripping to her underwear and pulling the dress over her head. Sha'ira made a mental note to find out exactly who this flyboy was.
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The waiting staff of Helios were in the bathroom every three minutes, checking their appearance
and throwing up with nerves as necessary. As the clientèle of the restaurant included the most important people in Citadel space most staff usually got hit with an attack of nerves when they seen someone they recognised.
The restaurant was decorated in the soothing tones of pale browns and greens with each table covered in a crisp white table cloth giving it an air of what humans called sophistication and the Salarians perceived to be neat. There were a few diners, a rather elderly human couple, a small group of salarians and a larger group of volus discussing the financial market.
The head waitress, a rather charming asari called Asuka, stood at her post looking out for the figure of Miss Kai in the crowd. Rumour had it that she was coming on a date rather than her usual dinner guests of the Citadel Council and she was dying to see who the ever so shy and proper little Miss Kai had brought on a date. Suddenly she became aware of a man standing before her, dressed in a shirt and trousers, leaning heavily on crutches and looking at her in vague confusion and something resembling pain as he shifted on his legs.
"I know this is going to sound strange but I'm here to meet Miss Anna Kai." She looked up rather amazed that this rather scruffy man dressed in a shirt which seemed slightly too big with brown eyes looking distinctly uncomfortable leaning heavily on crutches and under the bottom of his trousers there was evidence of some sort of frames. He wasn't near meeting the dress code but there was no way she was going to argue.
"No problem, this is the your table." She pulled out a chair at the especially prepared table with extra room around it and an especially shortened table cloth as a familiar face turned the corner. To Asuka's astonishment he suddenly gripped her arm as he slipped into the chair. He noticed her sudden winch and suddenly looked very apologetic.
"I'm sorry, my balance isn't great especially trying to sit down or stand up. Ah, can you tell me what she's like? Do you know her?" Asuka nodded as she handed him a drinks menu motioning another waiter to address their newest arrival, the Salarian Second Fleet Admiral.
"She's very determined, charming and polite. Doesn't stand for nonsense when it comes to business although other than being something of a secretary between various bodies on the station I'm not absolutely sure what she does but socially she's very charming although the consort Sha'ira knows her best." Asuka decided she rather liked this human, it was nice to see them so insecure but so earnest. A lot of the humans who came here were very pretentious. She motioned for a drink to be brought from the bar and told him it was her pleasure to give it to him free of charge.
"Don't get me wrong, she is lovely. Practically turian or asari in a lot of ways but recently she has been distracted. So its nice that she's invited you here. It's nice to see." Asuka realised just how much she had said and blushed a rather sweet green. Joker nodded and they both turned as they heard the admiral greet Miss Kai closer to the entrance. Asuka's eyes widened and Joker suppressed the urge to wolf whistle. For there was the rather pretty little lady herself dressed as informally as her guest.
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Anna sat opposite Flight Lieutenant Moreau and was glad that she'd taken Sha'ira's advice. He hadn't dressed appropriately for Helios although he had definitely made an effort. Asuka, the head waitress, had made a hasty but as always elegant retreat after handing them their menus with a wink to Joker. Joker shifted in his seat and was suddenly aware of the brown eyes looking at him and he blushed. Anna, realising she was making him uncomfortable also blushed.
"I am sorry. I'm not used to dealing with humans, socially that is, at least not for a long time." She rattled off breathlessly. He quirked an eyebrow at this remark but smiled. "Oh yes, I found this." She started to root through her bag and pulled out his beloved baseball cap.
"Brilliant! I thought I'd left it on the Kilimanjaro and if I had there would have been no way I'd have seen it again. It was much too big for my liking and I don't think the Destiny Ascension would be to my liking at all."
"The dreadnought?"she asked as a waiter placed a glass of an unusual blue substance before her.
"Yup, my last assignment before the Norman -" he broke off mentally slapping himself for bringing up the prototype ship. So much for secrecy. Fortunately she laughed at his discomfort.
"The Normandy? I do live on the Citadel, Flight Lieutenant, I do know about the Alliance's pet project with the Hierarchy."
"Joker." was his stiff reply as he attempted to read the menu. It seemed to be mainly turian dishes although his stomach lurched as he realised that bangers and mash was on it.
"Sorry?"
"Call me Joker, my name is Jeff, well Jeffrey, but no one apart from my parents and sisters and Doctor Chakwas call me that."
"So you're the sod that calls her Frannie and lives to tell the tale?" She giggled. "I remember her telling old Doctor Rufus the story when I was in medbay with fractured ribs. Please call me Anna."
Conversation seemed to come easy enough as they spoke about the usual topics of politics on the station, the effect of the L3 implants on human biotics and the mysterious Shadow Broker about whom Joker was especially interested. Anna had laughed said that she's bought and sold information to him on a regular basis as she knew more about the informal side of the Citadel affairs than anyone else and he always gave her a good rate, usually going through Barla Von in the Financial Sector who was the best known Broker Operative.
They'd discussed the ships they'd served on and Joker told her how the unusual friendship between the arrogant sarcastic sod of a pilot and the quiet, demure gentleman of a lieutenant had begun during their posting on the N.V.V. Verdun.
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The N.V.V. Verdun had been a frigate like the Normandy but only just so it had had a much larger crew than the Normandy was scheduled to have, over one hundred including the predominately L3 biotic teams who were being test driven before some big drive to recruit known L3 biotics in the colonies. Unfortunately the larger crew had meant that the two 'invalids' as they'd been nicknamed had stuck out like a pair of sore thumbs.
Although it was not widely acknowledged L3 biotics had a tendency to view L2 biotics as redundant, a failed prototype of which they were the successful version. The three biotic teams would never have openly gone against Kaidan as he was their superior officer but that didn't mean that they didn't show their dislike in other ways. They would talk down to Kaidan, whisper about him and, most insulting of all, questioned his ability to do his job. Originally they had questioned his abilities as a biotic but that wasn't an issue to Kaidan the way it was to the L3s.
So the rest of the crew would whisper about Joker's deficiencies when he wouldn't eat in the mess if it was busy or on the rare occasions they seen him tooter around the ship on his crutches. Although Joker had somewhat proved his worth by -somehow- managing to use a mass relay after his co-pilot screwed up the approach things didn't really approve especially after Kaidan had one of his most severe migraines during a planet side mission. Kaidan had managed to fulfill the mission and get the teams back on the ship but only just before passing out.
Things had been pretty dire for a few weeks with the cockpit being their only place of respite as no one dared argue with Joker when he was behind the controls. Even the doctor, a grumpy hard-headed runt by the name of Steele, had argued that his time should have been better served fixing up injured fit soldiers not them two.
One evening after a few particularly bad weeks when some of the biotic teams had been openly arguing with Kaidan's orders someone had tripped up Joker while he'd been trying to get dinner. It was then that Kaidan had realised that the rest of the crew had most likely underestimated just how severe his case of Vrolik's Syndrome had been. The cracking had echoed throughout the ship, fortunately Joker passed out cold, several people had puked as they seen Joker's legs splinter in all four directions with the bone going through the skin in several places and the actual fall doing even more damage.
It was then that sweet, calm, compassionate Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, already on the edge of a migraine, lost his temper. It was also then that the biotic teams discovered why Kaidan had never taken any notice of them questioning his abilities. Kaidan Alenko could throw around nearly as much energy as a trained asari without breaking a sweat. In this condition, known to be a dangerous state even for L3s, he threw around a hell of a lot more.
According to Joker, who had it off a record of the formal investigation that occurred afterwards for Kaidan couldn't remember much more than searing pain, one of the L3 biotics – a real silver-spoon spoilt boy called Harvey Wheeler who just happened to be Kaidan's cocky second in command – made the mistake of attempting to kick Joker while hurling abuse at Kaidan saying that if it wasn't for people like them then humanity would be ruling the galaxy not sucking up to aliens.
Wheeler was flung so hard he went through three internal partitions. Meanwhile while the shield Kaidan had flung up around him and Joker was so strong all three biotic teams combined hadn't been able to break through it. When Wheeler, this time joined by some of his buddies, made a second attempt Kaidan flung them so hard they went through the hull of the ship.
Fortunately the Verdun had been docked on Eden Prime at the time so with the exception of those who went through the hull there were no fatalities. Joker healed slowly back on Arcturus which had been fine apart from his mum and younger sister, Suzanne, fussing over absolutely every minute detail, begging him to resign from the navy and come back and live with them and be safe.
Some of those who were part of the biotic teams tried to have offences brought against Kaidan but it was then revealed that Kaidan had been the leader for the exact reason that, with the exception of his migraines, he was the ideal biotic. On top of that he was sensible whereas a lot of biotics tended to be a lot more irrational and so the idea of solely biotic teams was scrapped. Kaidan had come to visit Joker in hospital in Arcturus before taking mandatory leave at home in Vancouver and even when they had been assigned to separate ships they'd stayed in touch. Now, almost ten years later they were best friends.
By the time the story was finished, Anna had kept interrupting for details, they'd eaten their way through their main courses of bangers and mash for Joker and some turian berry sludge stuffed in what looked like an omelette for Anna. She'd offered some to him and he found it was nice, sweet but yummy. She liked how his eyes shone not only at his own achievements but also at his friend's, like how he had forgotten where he was and chatted like a friend at a bar and, most of all, liked his infectious smile.
Joker was also pleased in how his dinner partner had turned out, tossing and twirling her hair as she listened with those big eyes intense in interest, arguing passionately about the more mundane matters like the problems with a large frigate crew and how she hadn't asked just how he managed with such bad legs. Asuka asked if they'd like dessert or coffee. They decided on both at the same second.
Asuka returned to the kitchen and handed the order to the manager with a grin across her face.
"I told you, they're mad about each other." she informed the kitchen staff before scooping up her winnings and dancing around the room.
Meanwhile Francesca Chakwas had taken residence next to Kaidan Alenko at the rather formal informal meet and greet. Commander Jane Shepard was present, swallowed by the crowd of new insubordinates which surrounded her. The human ambassador was talking the ear off a rather sober Captain Anderson to one side. The engineer and navigator were evidently old companions, both seemed rather old school, but they were discussing what sounded like every fish they had ever caught. No one noticed the two of them off to the side.
It had been pleasant enough, well, with the exception of the ambassador but that couldn't be helped. They both wanted to know how Joker's date was going. Both knew that Joker hated the idea of trying to get close to someone of the opposite sex due to his condition. Kaidan wasn't sure if Joker remembered as he'd been three sheets to the wind when he'd admitted it one night in a bar watching Shepard on the news. Kaidan had called her hot. Joker rather morosely had admitted that he made a point of trying to not see women as attractive. After all his disease effected all his bones but especially below the waist and what kind of girl would be interested in a guy like that. It had always stuck in Kaidan's mind because he's never sounded so bitter before or since.
