Across Time: Chicken Soup for a Merthur Lover's Soul

A collection of AU Merthur standalone oneshots

Chapter II: Absence Makes the Heart

A heart in love is blind, but a jealous heart has eyes. Arthur suffers through a sleepless night when Merlin doesn't pick up the phone.

--

"You'll call." Arthur said, holding tight to Merlin's hands. "As soon as you get there."

"Yes, Arthur, the moment I get there, I'll call you." Merlin grinned at him, "I'll call you every day." He pulled Arthur in for one last kiss, it was sloppy, wet, and full of promises, "Come on, don't look at me like that, I'll only be gone for a semester and I'll be back before you know it."

"This is the final boarding call for Flight 4637 to Montreal." The speakers blared rudely.

"Bye, Arthur." Merlin flipped a careless wave over his shoulder, as he hitched his faded carry on bag over one shoulder,"I"ll call as soon as I get there." He paused, and then, as if just remembering something really important, he added sheepishly, "Bye, Morgana."

Morgana grinned and latched onto Arthur's arm, "Don't mind me, Merlin. I know you're too busy with lover-boy here anyway. Have fun in Montreal, Give me a call if you get tired of calling Arthur, okay?"

"Hey!"

She elbowed him so hard in the ribs that Arthur he broke a couple. But Merlin only laughed, he blew Arthur a kiss, and then disappeared down the terminal, walking briskly behind a woman and her two kids.

"Come on, Arthur." Ever the good cousin, Morgana smiled at him, "I'll buy you coffee, you're really cute when you're moping around like a dog, though. Merlin hasn't been gone five minutes, and you're already looking like the world ended. How are you going to live out the semester?"

"Maybe I'm not." Arthur said, already feeling a dark cloud set over him. He was starting to think that taking the high road and letting Merlin take that internship to godforsaken Montreal was not a good idea. Maybe he should have acted a bit more needy when Merlin asked him over coffee if Arthur was going to be all right without him for an entire semester. It was ridiculous, really. Arthur Pendragon was one of the most popular boys on campus. He played tennis, was rugby captain, and ran track. In fact, he would even venture to say that he was THE most popular guy on campus. He was at the top of every party list, right along with his cousin, the manipulative Morgana Le Fay.

Certainly he could survive an entire semester without his pre-med boyfriend, who was a bit of a nerd anyway. Besides, Merlin didn't have to go all the way to Montreal to work, he had plenty of opportunities right here. If he wanted space so badly, Arthur would oblige, gladly.

"Melodrama doesn't suit you. Just snap out of it, Arthur." Morgana slid a large cup of coffee across the table. "Oh, and there's a party at Albion Hall tonight, you might want to go. It promises to be good."

--

Arthur did go, but he excused himself without even drinking his fill. Merlin hadn't called and Arthur didn't think it was quite fair to talk to his boyfriend wasted. So he walked back to his dorm and settled with a book that he was supposed to be reading for philosophy anyway when his phone rang.

He groped for the phone, nearly falling off the bed.

"Merlin?"

"The one." Merlin was laughing at him. "...What happened? You sound out of it."

Merlin probably could tell he wasn't breathing right, Arthur wasn't going to lie to him. He heaved himself back on the bed. "I...went to a party and drank a little, I fell off the bed just now."

"Did you actually leave the party early?"

"...Well, of course. You're the idiot that wouldn't call earlier." Arthur sulked. "Did you want me to answer drunk?"

"I"m sorry, they carted me off to the hospital the moment I got off the plane. On the plane they served peanuts and the hospital staff conveniently forgot to " Merlin sighed, "I'm so sore all over, I'm sorry I couldn't call earlier." Still, Arthur could feel a smile on Merlin's lips, "...How did your first day as a free man go?"

As if. Merlin should be sorry he even brought it up. "Do you even have to ask?"

"I hang on the arm of the most popular guy in school. I can't be a little paranoid about what happens with you when I'm not around?" Merlin sounded endlessly amused still. "Sorry then."

Despite himself, Arthur felt his face flush. He hated sentimentalities, he had no idea why; he just always disliked them. Therefore, Merlin never told him that he loved him or missed him. Merlin trusted Arthur to read between the lines of what he was saying, and Arthur loved him for it. Merlin did not trust easy. "Well, to set your mind at ease, nothing happened, okay? Cecilia Latham tried to grope me at the party, but I swear, nothing happened."

"Cecilia Latham, captain of girls' track?" Arthur closed his eyes, he saw an adorably horrified look on Merlin's face, "That's disgusting! What did you do?"

"...I left. What else do you think I'd do?"

"Oh. That's okay then."

Over the phone, he could hear Merlin breathing, It was almost funny how they could still share companionable silences over the phone. At last, Arthur broke it, "How was your day?"

"Well, excepting the fact that I didn't get to eat anything and had to observe three surgeries and write reports on all of them? My day was pretty eventful. I like Montreal, it's beautiful. It only takes fifteen to walk from my apartment to the hospital."

"How is your apartment?"

"Not as lavished as your place. Obviously. But it's big, and we get our own bedrooms and bathrooms so there's probably not going to be any problems or anything. We only have to sharing the sitting room and the kitchen." He heard a heavy thump, "I have a roommate. Will's an intern too, a couple of years ahead of me. He's from Australia. Graduated from the University of Sydney." Arthur lived in the dorms on the days he had class, but when he didn't, he escaped to a private flat. Most of the time, whenever he could manage, Merlin went with.

Arthur fairly growled, "Sounds like an accomplished guy, this Will."

"Yeah, he is. After working with him, I figure I still have a lot to learn." Merlin laughed, "But there's time for that." Arthur heard steps and then running water.

"You're trying to get me jealous?"

"No, just telling the truth. Besides, he has a girlfriend back home." There was the sloshing of water, "And I have you."

Arthur's face warmed appreciatively. "What are you doing?"

"I just spilled bath salts by the gallon into my bath water..." Merlin probably looked confused and indecisive, but not worried. "The housekeeper is probably not going to be pleased with me." He was probably exaggerating about the gallon, but Arthur's mind floated elsewhere. Somewhere not so honorable.

"Merlin, are you...naked?"

There was a pause, "Almost."

Arthur's breath hitched.

"I'm wearing my shirt...these buttons are impossible with one hand. But other than that..." Merlin's voice now held a husky edge, "I leave to your willing imagination."

"You are a tease." An awful, terrible tease. Arthur tried to direct his thoughts towards a cold shower. But that was mostly counterproductive as the cold shower had a Merlin all naturale in it.

"So? What are you going to do? Be a gentleman and go take a cold shower?"

Arthur bit his lip, "I'm proud of my self control, thank you very much."

There was a pause. Too long of a pause. And then Merlin said, "I'm naked now. Buttons took forever."

Arthur slammed down the phone and fled to the showers. It was late, and he was glad no one was there to hear him.

--

Arthur took his time getting up the next day. It was odd to have his bed feel empty. The bed across from his settled against the wall was also empty. It was all just empty. He laid still in bed for a couple of moments, and then reached for his phone. Actually, he felt sort of guilty having Merlin call him, since Merlin wasn't the one with the unlimited cash flow and the rates for overseas calls were insane.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Good timing. I'm just about to wolf down a club sandwich, run to the restroom, and then get back to work. As long as you don't mind me talking with my mouth full." Merlin's voice sounded decidedly broken, as if he wasn't in a place with good reception. "Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah..." And a part of him felt guilty because Merlin was working his ass off and Arthur was lounging in bed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, this club sandwich is the pits though...makes me miss your cooking."

"...Hey."

"What? You know it's true, you can't cook to save your life." There was a rude gulp over the phone, "Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"I'm about to." Yes, Arthur Pendragon could not cook to save his life, but that did not give Merlin any leave to just rub it in his face like that.

"Good, I bought you more coffee beans before I left. Should be right next to the microwave."

"Thanks."

Now there was clanging, muffled rustling, "Hey, I'm going to have to go, one of the patients just coded and they want me there. I'll talk to you later, love you."

And with that, Merlin was gone. Arthur realized he was gone before he could tell Merlin that he was naked. But then he supposed Merlin knew that already, his boyfriend was no stranger to his bed. And he two words hung dreamily in Arthur's thoughts for the rest of the day.

-

"You're moping." Morgana accused him as she slid into the seat next to his for lecture. "Seriously, you have the cutest hurt puppy look of anyone I know."

She. Was. Enjoying. This. Way. Too. Much. Usually, people knew better than to use the words 'cute' and 'puppy' together in a sentence describing Arthur Pendragon, of all people. But not Morgana. "I'm going to hurt you." He grumbled, tearing a fresh sheet from his notebook. The only person that he'd ever allow to use 'cute' and 'puppy' was Merlin. Merlin only. (And even that wasn't all that often.)

"Try."

He almost did. But then he remembered he was supposed to be a gentleman.

-

Merlin called him that night, it was getting to be midnight and he had a paper due, but he welcomed any distraction. Especially if it was a call from Merlin. "...What time is it over there?"

"...It's late, but I can't sleep." Merlin said, "You know, when you're dead tired, and you can't fall asleep no matter how hard you try? It's one of those."

"Homesickness?"

"Yeah, it's really cold here. I'm not used to it." Merlin admitted readily. "I don't have to get up so early tomorrow. Will says he's taking my shift."

Arthur refused to be bated into talking about Will again. "Or you could just admit you miss me." He pointed out, "I'll allow you to be sentimental once in a while."

"I miss you."

There was a warm silence. Arthur said, though he was oddly embarassed to say it, "Me too."

Thankfully, Merlin doesn't dwell on it. "Are you pulling an all nighter?"

"...I have your coffee to keep me company." Arthur smiled to himself (it was safe because Merlin was not here to see it.) "I had track practice and completely forgot about this paper. Paying for it now, I suppose."

"Ah. What's it about?"

"Plato."

"...Oh, sorry, can't help you."

"Figured." Arthur picked up his pen again, this day and age, everyone typed on a computer; but Arthur Pendragon working on a blaring screen while coffee sustained him did not make for good results. The hum of the machine annoyed him so much that he always handwrote his papers. Surprisingly, he had a neat hand, and no one complained. "You should be getting to bed."

"I should..." Merlin faltered, "It's almost five in the morning."

"Then get some sleep. I don't want you to come back only to die on me." Arthur said, "I'll be here, and I'll call you when I wake up."

"All right, then."

Perhaps it was only Arthur's hopeful ears playing tricks on him, but Merlin sounded reluctant. "And Merlin?"

"Mm?"

"I love you, good night." And Arthur hung up. He went back to Plato and hoped that Merlin dreamt about those words.

--

The next morning was a miscalculation altogether. First, Arthur was late to lecture, forgot his paper, had to go back for it. The track captain had shown up to practice extremely sore about something or the other, and his subordinates had suffered for it. Of course, it didn't suit Arthur that Tom Crowell beat him for the captain spot and therefore had the authority to run practice to the ground...but he supposed he understood that to some degree; the rugby team had taken the brunt of Arthur's foul moodswings.

Long story short, he opted for his fancy flat with an actual tub instead of communal showers, which got really, really annoying after a while. He only tolerated them because of Merlin. And Merlin was in Montreal.

Arthur started from the bath. Merlin. He'd completely forgotten his promise to call in the morning. Stumbling out of the bathroom still dripping wet, he reached for his phone on the nightstand.

2 missed calls
1 voicemail

"Hey, it's me. Now that I think about it, you have track practice...I hope Crowell isn't working you lot over too hard. Yeah...anyhow, it's break here and I'm assigned to the psych ward today, seriously, it's not fun. Not at all like the movies. I'm going out with some of the other interns tonight, since we made it through our first week, somehow. Talk to you later?"

Arthur couldn't help but wonder if Will was one of those people. He hoped not. He played the message twice more before he went on the hunt for his extensive collection of takeout menus (most of which were Italian and gourmet.) The collection was probably gathering dust somewhere, since Merlin had a knack for cooking.

--

They were well into the semester by now, somehow, Arthur managed. He sufficed on two phone calls a day and sought the showers late at night for his solace. He'd call Merlin in the morning, and Merlin would call him at night. Perhaps it was because Merlin was so far away, he always had exciting stories to tell. He and some others had gone skydiving -- "Actually if you do it a couple of times, it gets to be pretty fun." He had learned how to make authentic sushi from an intern from Kyoto -- "The rice got all sticky, it was annoying. Sasaki says it happens all the time. But I'll make you some when I get back."

Merlin was getting on perfectly well without him. The fact that Arthur had no part in any of it made him anxious. Merlin was drifting further away from him...and for once, Arthur was at a loss. He lay quietly listening to Merlin babble, about hiking this time.

And then, "...Arthur? Are you all right? You're not saying much."

"I don't have anything to say." Arthur sounded snappish without intending to.

There was silence. "Did something happen today?"

"No."

"Come on, you can tell me." Merlin cajoled him gently, "I've worked the psych ward, whatever you have to tell me is really not going to scare me."

Then, Arthur couldn't stand Merlin. He always had to be so damn cheerful. "It's really nothing." He said firmly. "It's really nothing. Look, you're probably busy, I'm going to let you go, okay?"

"I don't have to go." Merlin said, "I"m just watching a movie. It's bad."

It was unreasonable, but Arthur in his fit of jealousy, didn't know how to continue the conversation. "I'm going to go." He announced curtly as he sat up. "I'm tired."

"Arthur--"

"Good night."

--

Until the day came when Merlin didn't pick up his phone at all. Granted, their phone conversations carried on as usual, but there existed an edge to it. Arthur was kind of expecting the day. Merlin seemed to have proved that he got on perfectly without Arthur's arm to hang on. Arthur called three times, on the second time he left a short message:

"Give me a call when you have the time." It was the shortest message he'd ever left Merlin to date, the 'if you feel like it.' was implied.

The third time Arthur called, the call was picked up on the fourth ring. The voice that sounded on the other end was not Merlin's.

"Hello?"

It was a male voice, with a hint of an Austrailian accent, and if anything; when Arthur closed his eyes, he saw someone accomplished, mature, worthy of Merlin. "...Where's Merlin?"

"He's sleeping. My name is Will, may I take a message to give him when he wakes up?"

Merlin was sleeping. Will was answering Merlin's phone. Arthur's brain shut itself down before he could piece all of the implications into plausible scenarios. "Why is he sleeping?"

"He hasn't been sleeping well lately. I guess he finally managed to bug someone into prescribing something for him."

"Someone like you?" He didn't even want to know what Merlin had bribed Will with.

"I can't give out prescriptions, I'm only an intern." Will laughed, and Arthur hated his laugh.

Arthur hung up. As expected, he didn't sleep at all that night.

--

It took another day for Arthur to regain his courage to reach for the phone. Maybe it was silly, but he was washed over by undisguised relief when Merlin picked up his phone. "...Merlin?"

"Well, yeah, it's my phone, the last time I checked." Merlin sounded normal, cheerful. A little tired, but cheerful. "How've you been? It seems like it's been a long time."

It has, Arthur agreed privately, almost 48 hours. "...Will picked up the last time I called." He said quietly.

There was a brief silence, "About that."

Arthur bit his lip, "Look...erm, it's all right." He forced out the words, hoping they didn't tremble too much. "If you really do want to, um...break up." Montreal had opened Merlin's eyes, and it was almost inevitable that he liked that world than the one that Arthur had to offer. "I mean, it'd be stupid if I grudged you about that, right?" Words just tumbled from his mouth without thought. "And I, um--"

"Arthur." Merlin cut him off. "Who said anything about breaking up?"

Suddenly, Arthur wanted nothing more than to slap himself good and hard across the face. "What?" He said stupidly. "What are you talking about?"

"I said, I'm not breaking up with you." If anything, Merlin sounded amused, "What? Do you want to break up? Did Cecilia Latham's charms finally get to you?"

"...Ew." Arthur made a face for good measure.

"Honestly...there was nothing going on. I haven't been sleeping well, so...I got Dr. Langley to prescribe something that'd knock me out for three hours." Merlin told him, "I told Will you might call so I asked him to pick up if you did."

"You told him to pick up?" Well, now Arthur felt like a full-fledged idiot. Which was just ironic because that was his pet name for Merlin most times.

"Well...yeah, should I not have? I knew you'd be worried."

Arthur said nothing. "Worried about the wrong thing." He admitted. What the hell else was he supposed to think when Will picked up the phone and Merlin was asleep?

"Arthur, you're funny, you know that?" Somehow, Merlin's laugh was wholly refreshing. "Do you really have so little faith in me? I thought better of you."

Because they never talked about the future. Arthur thought about it quite often, but never found the courage to bring it up. Here was Merlin, talking about faith so casually, faith took time and in that moment, it seemed the world was all right again. "You said you were suspicious of me. Am I not allowed to be protective of you?"

'But you're Arthur Pendragon."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Arthur knew he sounded more than a bit miffed.

"Nothing." Merlin said dismissively, "Anyway, I'll be back in a week or so, I'm expecting you to make all of this up to me."

Normally, Merlin wasn't the one for being bossy, but Arthur found himself smiling, one of those warm smiles that he kept for Merlin.

"Deal."