Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect. This fictional story is not making me any money (unless BioWare takes note and decides to pay me).
Author's Note: Apologies. Document formatting on this website has changed, and thus removed my attempts to section off the end. I hope (fifth time trying) that it's fixed now.
A Hundred Memories for the Journey Home
Day One
"Javik, you're bulky. Stand on the end."
"Tali, nobody can see you in the back."
"What's to see? I'm wearing a full body suit!"
With some maneuvering, elbowing, and a couple choice phrases, Shepard's former squad organized themselves into two rows. Tali and Liara were in the front, and staggered behind them were Javik, Kaidan, James, and finally, Garrus.
"Okay," Allers said, making some adjustments to the drone control on her omnitool. "We'll do this in one take. Who's starting off?"
The squad exchanged glances. "I don't know that we thought that far ahead," Liara said after a moment. "I could begin, I suppose, and we will move in order from there. Garrus, do you mind closing it?"
"I'll try to restrict my comments for the sake of the general audience," the turian said dryly. "But I reserve the right to send appropriate boyfriend messages in private."
"Noted," Diana said, a devious half-smile pulling at her lips. James chuckled and nudged Tali. Kaiden muttered something under his breath, and Liara rolled her eyes at their childishness. Javik just maintained his eyes-straight-ahead posture, as if he wasn't in the same room with the rest of them.
"All right, recording in three, two...one." Diana cued Liara as the camera drone adjusted itself to better view the asari's face.
Smoothly, as if she had rehearsed the entire thing, Liara began. "Shepard, you can't imagine how relieved we are that you'll be waiting for us when we get back. I know it will be a longer time than any of us want, but I promise that we'll be in touch with you every day; every chance we have."
"You did what you had to do, and for all of us, I say thank you," Tali said sincerely. "And, if you can keep a secret, I'll teach you how to cook dextro." She shot a look up and over her shoulder at Garrus. "After all, we wouldn't want a repeat of my birthday from 2183." There were a few stifled snorts.
"Commander, I am pleased to report that the writing of the book with Dr. T'Soni goes well," Javik said. "But I have had to promise that I cannot call every race primitive, as it makes for confusing reading to call everyone 'primitives'. Also, I have discussed the best way to serve salarian liver with your former comrade Wrex. If you seek recipes, perhaps you would like that one."
"He's joking, Commander," Kaidan said quickly. Javik fixed him with a look, then slowly nodded to show it was true. "I don't know how you managed to keep us all in line," the major went on, blinking into the camera's light. "You did all the hard work for me, I guess. Don't worry, Shepard, I'll bring the Normandy back to you in one piece. You've got my word."
"Hey Lola, so have I got a story for you," James said as the drone drifted a little left to catch him in its pickup. "It's the one about that food fight you walked into. And I'll have to tell it without Donnelly here to mess it up. So you gotta hang in there, or you won't get the real deal, comprendes?"
Garrus blinked as the camera moved on to him. "Shepard, I..." He had to pause; his mandibles worked for a moment. "I know what we said about the bar, but I was wrong. After this war, it's got to be crowded up there, and I know how impatient you are. So the next time I see you, I'll have the drinks with me." He tried to imagine her face from their last date, red with embarrassment as he'd dragged her out onto that dance floor. Garrus forced down the quaver that threatened to undermine his calm subvocals. "I promised these guys I wouldn't be...what's the word?"
"Sappy?"
"Disgusting."
"Romantic!"
"Tali, you're not helping."
"You had your turns," Garrus said with a sideways glare at the rest of the squad. "I promise to talk to you soon. I love you, starshine." He'd only ever called her that once before, but if Shepard was conscious enough to understand, then maybe the nickname would bring back that memory.
"And we're clear," Diana said as the camera drone dutifully zipped back over to her. "I'm thinking of making a sign-up roster for use of the drone. I have some footage I want to cut together from the Normandy's involvement in the London battle, but I promise to tightbeam this to the buoy first."
"Diana, thank you," Liara said, but the ANN reporter shook her head.
"I owe Commander Shepard just as much as you. I'll be taking my turn, too. But this is a good start-I can tell the crew will rally for this." She winked at them and turned away to address Traynor, who had been speaking with a couple of other crewmen.
Now that the initial revelation had had a moment to dawn on everyone, the six remaining squad mates looked between themselves. Liara was smiling, a small, hopeful smile that was echoed as Tali gave the asari a hug. It was then that Garrus saw the tears in the Shadow Broker's eyes-they shone for a moment before Liara wiped them away.
James crossed his thick arms. "Gah, you guys are killing me with all the feels. I've got things to do...somewhere. I'm sure there's something still left to clean up." He shook his head at the two women and left the lounge.
"He's just jealous you didn't hug him, too, Tali," Garrus said lightly. He felt different; strangely unburdened-even giddy-now that he knew for sure there was a chance. Even a small breath of hope was enough to focus his mindset. There would be time to reflect later, but now he had a duty. There could be no more listlessness; he needed to know what had happened to Primarch Victus and the rest of the forces stationed on Earth. They would need to begin coordinating extraction of survivors, rationing of supplies, and take stock of what relays were working between star clusters.
"It was strange, being in limbo," Kaidan said. "For so long we didn't know anything, and now...now I can check up on my students, find out about my family."
"It was almost a relief to know that we couldn't know," Liara agreed. "Now we have actions to take, and truth to face about what happened."
"The Shadow Broker didn't want information?" Kaidan asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It's not like that, Kaidan. It's just something Shepard taught me, after having spent so much time on ships her entire life: being in between something was what felt safest. In between planets, in between assignments-those were the moments she told me to look for."
Garrus remembered Shepard telling him the same thing, the two of them sitting up late one night aboard the Belinda after the incident on Amaterasu. That was when he'd first called her 'starshine'-in jest then, more out of relief that she and Liara were safe than any attachment. Strange, he hadn't thought about that since...before. Before Shepard had died.
No. Garrus had just received the hope that there wouldn't be a second time, that he would be spared the descent into darkness again. There wouldn't be another Omega; it had almost killed him. He had tried to recreate the feeling Shepard had given him by putting together his own team, trying to make a difference the only way he knew how: dispensing justice against all of the merc gangs that infested Omega. It had ended...poorly.
Garrus had never told Shepard what he'd seen when he looked through his scope, down onto that bridge at the new wave of 'mercs'. After being entrenched in his position for days, he'd thought he was hallucinating-he had been hallucinating.
I will tell her, he abruptly decided. No use in dwelling on it now when he was still coming to grips with the overwhelming sensation of time moving forward, no longer trapping him with his dark thoughts.
He had to focus before his mind went everywhere at once; Garrus turned on his omnitool to make a note to share that memory with Shepard. Before he could, however, golden scrolling text filled his view. With Traynor's efforts at getting them back up on the extranet, his data systems were strained to the limit with all the unread reports, messages, and intel he needed to handle.
Garrus squared his shoulders. It was time to tackle the galaxy again, but not as the sniper who had had his teammates' backs. He was the primarch's military consultant, and he had his people to care for. He could use the terminal in the main battery to route his messages and track the remainder of the Hierarchy's forces as the turians struggled to regroup.
"Major Alenko, Admiral Hackett is on vid comm for you," Traynor said from across the room.
Kaidan nodded. "It's time to find out what the Alliance needs us to do." Garrus and Javik fell into an unconscious formation behind the acting CO as they left the observation lounge.
"I do not know what a military does in times of peace," Javik said. "I never had peace in my cycle."
"This isn't peace yet, Javik," Garrus said. "Whatever alliances were made for this war, you can bet the balance will shift eventually. And those that operate outside the law will be quick to take advantage of what they can."
"The Normandy's not a big ship; she's a precision instrument," Kaidan said. "I predict the Alliance has us mopping up little problems all the way back to Earth."
"Ah, for the days of 2185," Garrus said, his subtones vibrating wryly. "When it was 'go here and save these scientists' or 'investigate that eerie, derelict ship'. Milk runs compared to brokering peace between the turians and krogan."
Kaidan was silent, and Garrus belatedly remembered his reaction to Shepard on Horizon around that same time. But then the human biotic appeared to shake it off. "That was Shepard through and through-leave no speck of space dust unturned."
Garrus parted ways with Javik and Kaidan at the mess hall, where he passed the kitchen; the scene of many an interesting experiment. And that wasn't Shepard's fault, really. She knew when she was beaten in regards to cooking from anything except a ration pack. No, it had been Tali's unfamiliarity with human-style appliances. There hadn't ever been a fire, but...well, did sparks count?
It was both enlightening and bittersweet to walk through the ship in the mindset of all the things that had happened here. Everything from birthdays, to Christmas, to that food fight Donnelly had apparently started but wasn't allowed to tell his side of the story. Not more than a month ago, he had stood right at the base of the stairs to the main battery and tried to top Vega's whoppers, king of all storytelling. They had declared it an amicable draw in the end, while Shepard stood by and watched, one hand over her mouth to cover her smile. What would she have said, if she'd joined in? Probably nothing, just as she had done. She was never a boaster, unless it had to do with how obedient her combat drone was. And even then, 'Charlie' was usually just a diversion. Something to do when there was absolutely nothing else. Garrus was very familiar with that; he had his own 'calibrations' to keep him occupied.
He hesitated on the top step and took a deep breath. It was a choice now. The memories wouldn't rule him; he would own them, save them, tell them to the camera drone and know that somewhere tens of days away, someone he loved would hear them.
The sensor outside the main battery sensed his presence as he took the step forward, and the doors whisked open for him. Garrus faced the familiar control panel. Time to leave the darkness.
. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
"Incoming tightbeam transmission using Alliance priority codes," the communications officer spoke up. "It's from the Normandy."
"Contents?" the Zuckerkandl's duty officer asked.
"Looks like some personal video logs, addressed to Commander Shepard. Just two, sir."
"Transfer them to the admiral."
"Yes, sir."
. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard had a very limited view of construction. She had been at the Crucible's birthplace, and had watched the alien device come together as she labored to keep patrol rotations going, supply ships informed, and status reports broadcasting on all the appropriate encrypted channels.
In exchange, she now was watching the reconstruction of her daughter. She hadn't known the intended use of the Crucible; no one had. She had seen all the same news reports as everyone else: her daughter had activated it, and the Reapers were dead. Whatever her daughter had seen or done, the result was the success all the united worlds had hoped for, but it had come with a price.
And Hannah Shepard wasn't so sure that it hadn't been too high. She had lost her baby once before; had mourned her as she had mourned her husband years ago. She didn't know if she could do that again. She was watching her child fight a losing battle to stay alive; the trauma to her body had been so severe that it had been her synthetic implants keeping her alive when the rescue teams had located her broken form amidst the rubble outside the London conduit. The very same cybernetics, however, were interfering with the necessity of keeping Shepard sedated. Nothing worked for very long, and it had been Miranda Lawson's decision that the synthetic devices needed to be replaced.
Now, her body was so swathed in bandages that the younger Shepard was unrecognizable. Every day held a new surgery, changing out the most damaged cybernetics with the meagre supplies the trapped fleet had while they waited for the Charon Relay to finish repairs.
"Admiral, forwarded transmission for you," a calm voice informed her from the private terminal in the medical suite, interrupting her bleak thoughts.
Automatically, she flicked on her omnitool. Although on emergency leave to be with her daughter, she was still answering messages and coordinating some of the relief efforts for the southern hemisphere. She pulled up the first file; it was only a few minutes long.
An asari's face looked expectantly back at her, and beside her was a quarian. Behind them she could just make out two Alliance uniforms, and...that was that Prothean she'd seen pictures of. "Shepard, you can't imagine how relieved we are-"
Hannah paused the video. She knew these people, if only by reputation. Her daughter had never been consistent with telling her specific details about her missions, but the admiral knew enough. She resumed playing the video, matching names with faces as each one took their turn in the camera's spotlight. It was the hollow-looking turian at the end who gave her pause. His eyes shone brightly as he looked up into the camera.
"I promise to talk to you soon. I love you, starshine."
And for the first time in a week, a by-now unfamiliar expression pulled at Hannah Shepard's mouth. A smile. Of course. A Shepard's place is in the stars.
She stood, and found her left leg was asleep from sitting so long, watching and waiting. Three limping steps took her to the far wall, where she disengaged the windows. The velvety black of the starscape, sprinkled with twinkling stars slowly phased into view. And then Hannah Shepard frowned. She went to the intercom. "The rear admiral would like to speak with the captain of the ship to port," she said crisply.
There was a brief, almost befuddled pause as the comm officer scrambled to find the requested information. "Uh, that's the Glorious Pyjak, ma'am. Krogan ship," he added somewhat unnecessarily as the admiral was familiar with the design.
"Thank you. Patch me through."
A moment later, she found herself speaking to a hard-shelled krogan with gleaming eyes. "Yes?" he asked gruffly.
"Captain, I am Admiral Hannah Shepard, and I have an unusual request-"
The krogan cut her off. "Shepard? The clan leader's bond-sister?"
Was that what her daughter had been doing on Tuchanka? "I...I'm Commander Shepard's mother."
"Hnh. What's your request, Admiral?" The krogan captain gestured to someone off to his left.
And now it sounded rather silly, now that she thought about it. "Could you perhaps move your ship off from the Zuckerkandl? Just clear of the fore port section. As a...favor to me."
The krogan blinked slowly at her. "No problem, Admiral. We'll be out of the way in a few minutes. Urdnot Wrex would like to speak with you." He signaled the person on his left again, and Hannah Shepard found herself matching stares with a battle-scarred krogan she'd only ever heard about in reports.
"Admiral Shepard." Wrex fixed her with an appraising look. "I heard what the news had to say. What's the truth?" His red eyes were intent.
Hannah hesitated. Her daughter had at some point undoubtedly trusted this being with her life, and she was not in the habit of making poor decisions. "From what I'm told by the head of Project Lazarus, it's grim. She's fighting back, at least, I hope she is...but the damage is bad." She cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice level.
Wrex grunted, but Hannah knew enough about krogan expressions to see it was a blow to him. "I heard what the Normandy's doing," he said. "I've got some people around here who'd like to help. And since I'll be stuck around here...I'll deliver my messages in person."
Hannah Shepard's eyebrows went up. "I'm afraid I don't understand, Urdnot Wrex. But...I know what your friendship means to my daughter. Please come as often as you like."
"Just Wrex, Admiral. I think Chakwas explained in a message. We'll speak again." And Wrex cut the call off.
The second video. Hannah queued it up and was greeted to a familiar sight: Karin Chakwas.
"Hello, Hannah. I assume you will be viewing these entries with Commander Shepard. This entire thing was my idea, but I've been a champion of positive thought for far too long to think that it won't work again. We're proposing to send memories, notes, whatever we can think of to the commander while she's recovering. As you probably know by now, we'll be at least three months in our journey back here...and many of us wish we could be there in person to help you through this.
"So, to lift both of your spirits, here's a memory Shepard knows well. This is one of many recordings Mordin Solus made for the commander. This one shows the most playback, so it was probably her favorite. All my love and prayers, Hannah. Chakwas out."
The message picked up with the image of a older salarian, his large eyes quirked up at the corners in merriment. Hannah Shepard paused the playback and went to her daughter's side; as close as she could get with the sterile curtaining between them.
"Baby, I know...I've told you that I don't want to say goodbye again. It seems like that's all I say." Hannah thought she had cried herself out by now, but a couple of tears found their way down her face. "There are some other...family...members that want to talk to you." And she began to play Mordin's song.
"I am the very model of a scientist salarian..."
