Renee Centric
((From a Tumblr prompt on my RP account where iTunes was put on shuffle and a headcannon written inspired by it! This is from Nineteen by Tegan and Sara.))
"Flew home,
Back to where we met
Stayed inside
I was so upset
Cooked up a plan,
So good except
I was all alone
You were all I had
Love you
You were all mine
Love me
I was yours right?"
The thing that really bugged Renee, is that she never thought she could be a good girlfriend. It seemed every relationship she had, she somehow managed to push them away. Daria left after having to watch Renee slowly destroy herself, wallowing in pity and depression every night in the form of cigarettess and alchol. There were others here and there. There were one night stands at least three or four days out of the week. Some of them wanted more, emotionally, but they were always pushed away. And then there was Kate, how back and forth they were. Dating when she was just a cop, dating again when they had both picked up vigilante roles, and always somehow ending up in a fight, or with Renee leaving. She had a really bad habit of doing that. Maybe it was because she was afraid of her own feelings, afraid of how much she wanted to stay, afraid of taking the plunge into something more serious and unknown.
But now what really upset her is that she had matured, a lot, from all these past relations. She was definitely a changed woman, one who was ready to open herself more. There was still some fear, but she was older now and had to be willing to take chances like this. It was one of the many pieces remaining to be fit into the answer to the question Charlie always asked her. "But who are you?" echoed in her mind.
No, what it really was getting to her is that now that she had changed, now that she was ready to share so much and commit so much, she seemed more alone than ever.
