Chapter Two

Chapter Two

"JACOB! Control yourself!" My father hissed. "Remember who it is that you're thinking of that way!"

Jacob grimaced and looked down as if ashamed of being caught, though not necessarily for what he thought.

"Sorry." He mumbled, continuing to weave. My father walked up the stairs slowly, watching us, then finally disappeared.

I watched as he worked, his fingers moving quickly- turning the loose strands of thread into an intricate pattern.

I looked down at my right wrist and studied the promise band he had made me my first Christmas. The only colors present were a dull white and lavender. This new bracelet had white and lavender, like the first one, but it also had darker hues of purple and gray.

The idea was that there was a new bracelet made for each level of commitment that was reached and agreed upon. And like the relationship itself, the weaves and tones got more complicated. I wondered what they would all look like together, completed at our wedding. I blushed brightly and tried to shake the image away.

Lost in thought, I didn't notice when Jacob finished. So I jumped a little when he gently pulled my right hand towards himself to fasten the new accessory.

"Go on. Take a look." He urged when he was finished, holding up my wrist.

I studied the band carefully. The weave was far more intricate that the first one, and the band was thicker. The two ends were the lights shades found in the first bracelet he made me, but they grew into bolder, into charcoal and violet, near the center. The entire band was almost twice the size of my original one, which was slightly less than half an inch.

I felt the hot tears well into my eyes as I continued to look at the bands. Jacob but his hand under my chin and gently pulled my face up to meet his. His eyes were shocked and worried. His thumb wiped away a tear that rolled down my cheek.

"What's wrong?" he asked, "If you don't want to, you don't have to go through with this." The pain that saturated his voice at the thought of this notion resounded deep, and echoed to my core.

I shook my head violently and wrapped my arms around his waist in a hug.

"No, Jake! No. That's not it at all!" I reassured him. He stroked my hair and I was momentarily distracted.

"Then what is it, Ness?" He questioned.

I pulled away and held my wrist up to him. "It's just that these," I wrapped my arms around his neck, "are probably the most beautiful and significant things I've ever gotten in my entire life."

He beamed. He kissed me, excited by my statement. "So then you won't be difficult like Bella was with Edward. You'll actually want to be with me."

I frowned at how his words made it sound.

"If she didn't want to be with him, then why did they get married? Why did they have me?" I asked, looking down. It didn't make any sense.

My father was there in that second, my mother by his side, giving Jacob an evil look.

"Jacob— out!" She said in a menacingly low voice. He opened his mouth and began what seemed to be a protest when my mother gave him a look that chilled even me to the bone. He kissed the top of my head and strode out the door, mom close on his heals.

I turned to look at my father, knowing the hurt and confusion would show on my face no matter how much I tried to hide it.

What could have happened to make him say that? Was there someone else?

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. His characteristic pose of stress. Was the truth so hard that even he couldn't handle it?

Papa sighed and looked at me with wary eyes. "Nessie, there are things that happened before you, that are…hard to explain."

He could start by trying.

"Yes. I suppose I could. I should. You have a right to know before you're with Jacob and cannot go back."

Something was wrong with Jake, too? What happened? I don't care who tells me, just please, someone tell me!

"Okay. Your mother, while she was human, was in a great deal of danger by just being with me. And against my better judgment and what I wanted I left her, for her sake. It tore her apart…"

He winced, remembering. "And while I was gone, she was…lifeless. Until she started spending all of her time with Jacob." I could feel the shock on my face, but waited patiently for the rest.

"He mended her in ways she should have never been broken. Healed her to quite an extent. And…they loved each other. But not in the same way. She was grateful for him helping her heal, but he had notions of romance. And when he found he was a wolf, his future disappeared. And as you know, Alice cannot see the wolves future. So she flew back here, thinking that your mother had committed suicide. She was, in reality, quite alive."

He paused and I sensed there was something more that he wasn't telling me, but I wanted him to finish the story, so I held my tongue.

"And when I came back again, they loved each other, though in quite different ways. After you were born and he imprinted, both of their feelings of romance had left them. And here we are today."

I felt empty, and yet like I was going to retch at the same time.

"But what does that have to do with marrying you?" I asked, trying to distract from the bile rising in the back of my throat.

"She was adverse to marriage because of Renee. But your grandmother took it surprisingly well enough."

This wasn't the question I wanted to ask and he could tell my worries.

"Yes…they did kiss, but nothing more.' He said in a quiet voice, pain echoing dully in the memory.

My throat constricted and I sprinted to the bathroom in my room and was abruptly sick. After my bout of nausea was over, I leapt out the large window in my room, not quite caring that I landed in my small garden below, smashing several of my favorite flowers.

I ran, as fast as I could, not knowing where to go. I settled for the one place I always felt safe, happy— warm.

My feet didn't so much as sink in the pale sand as I walked over to my favorite boulder. The one that was shaped sort of like two chairs. The one on bottom for me, the higher for Jacob.

Jacob.

Warm tears spilled over my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away, surprised. Surprise not only at this news I was given, but for the source of my tears. For the fact that I had not been his only love. For the fact that he had no choice in the matter…and the fact that I did.

Would he have loved me anyways?

I sifted through my head for the answer, but you couldn't try to remember an answer to a question that had never been asked. Never even thought about. Not until now, that is.

Jacob.

I sensed him before I heard him behind me. He sat behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. I knew it was meant to comfort, but it just caused my throat to constrict and the tears to well up again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I should have told you earlier."

Did he even realize what he was apologizing for?

"Yeah. You should have." My voice sounded stiff and more cold than I had planned for, but it was too late by the time the words had come out.

He flinched at my tone and it gave me an unexpected burst of smugness abruptly followed by pain. "Okay— I deserved that. But Ness— try to understand. That was you. The entire time. That's why me and Bella were so drawn to each other. Because of you."

I looked at him skeptically, not knowing whether or not I should believe him. I didn't notice my right hand was resting on his knee until he took it and placed it over his heart.

"I've never loved, never felt this strongly about anyone but you. I keep thinking it will fade one day. That it won't be as strong. And everyday I see you— it hits me. Just as powerful as the first day."

My heart thumped unevenly at his words and the undoubted look of determination on his face. Determined to show me exactly what he felt.

I waited until my heart had slowed to speak.

"I…believe you. It was just a shock I suppose."

He nodded once. "I understand. I knew we would have to go through this soon, but I just didn't want to think about it. It's no excuse though. Am I forgiven?" he smiled softly down at me.

I thought about it a moment and then crawled into his lap, wrapping my arms around him.

"Yes. I think you are." I smiled at him.

He securely locked his arms around me and kissed the top of my head, nestling his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.

"I love you, you know." He said softly. I felt my eyes widen in shock, and after a few blinks, I was in control of myself again. "I love you too, Jake."

We stayed like that until the moon was high overhead and I drifted contently to sleep.