Well, I'm thoroughly enjoying writing this story. It's my chance to let loose and write crack! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
Once the date and location of the wedding was confirmed, the next step for the couple was to find a wedding planner who was able to bring their vision of a perfect wedding to reality. This proved to be quite difficult.
"Reno, do you really need to brandish your E-mag when you ask the planner questions? It's threatening."
Reno rolled his eyes.
"C'mon, babe, it's not like I'm trying to scare them away, I just want us to get one with balls. Like, someone with great vision and the fortitude to carry it out."
"You need to learn to not be so picky," Cloud sighed.
"Or what, you'll decide for me?"
"Tempting," Cloud mumbled. "Oh! Hey, look! An Italian restaurant! Let's take a break and eat!"
Without waiting for a reply, Cloud rushed off towards the restaurant. Now it was Reno's turn to sigh. And Cloud thought that food and sex was the only thing on his mind. As Reno began to cross the street to Vinnie's Italian Food, a little store tucked between the buildings caught his attention. It was small yet bold and in gothic script in the window it read: Wedding Planner.
"Holy shit! Am I lucky or what! A place that looks like it just might give me what I want."
Not that Reno wanted some punk rock kind of wedding, he just wanted something unique. And that store oozed of originality. Taking a quick detour, Reno entered the building. The bright orange walls were covered with brown frames containing pictures with different sceneries. A lady with black hair and purple streaks in her hair sat at the front desk.
"Hey, doll, what can I do for ya," she asked when Reno entered.
"Do you guys serve meatball?" he asked sarcastically, "Duh, I'm lookin' for a wedding planner."
"Listen, smart ass, we can get any kind of caterer that you want. Meatballs? No problem. Now if you're done wasting my time with dumb replies, let's get down to business."
Reno sat down on the purple seat in front of the desk.
"You guys don't seem very color coordinated, yo."
"Says a man? What, are ya gay or somethin'?"
"As a matter of fact, I am, bitch."
"All right then, dickhead, what are you and your boy toy lookin' for in your wedding? Barbie's dreamland, purple paradise, or what?"
"That's stereotyping ya know," Reno grumbled. "No we're not that gay."
"Well, then how gay are you?"
"Gay enough to be fucking each other, but not gay enough to be wearing lots of pink or purple or flowers and shit."
"So, where and when is your wedding?"
"It's July 25 at the beach resort in Costa del Sol."
The lady looked at her calendar and made a few notes. She pushed up her thick black rimmed glasses up her nose before she turned her attention back to him.
"Lucky for you, we're available for that. With a beginning fee of one hundred gil and a twenty five percent commission of all that you spend, we are yours for the taking."
Reno thought about it for a moment. Money wasn't the issue; being a Turk with little need for money, he had saved up quite a bit of gil. He was just trying to decide if these people deserved the money.
"Why should I pay you instead of another wedding planner, yo?"
The lady smiled, genuinely amused.
"You want unique, well here ya go."
She handed Reno a photo album that contained thousands of pictures. Once Reno handed back the album, his eyebrows had practically disappeared into his hair line.
"Well, shit. All right, you're hired! By the way, what's your name?"
"My name is Jacinda Black. It's nice to do business with you Mr…"
"Reno, just Reno."
"Ok, Reno, our first appointment will be this Friday at nine in the morning. We'll go over the theme of the wedding and some of the little details."
"See you then."
Reno got up and left with a sense of accomplishment. He had finally made a decision! He walked next door to the Italian restaurant and found a very pissy Cloud.
"Hey baby, where have you been?"
"Aw, don't be pissy with me! Guess what? I found us a wedding planner! Our first appointment is Friday!"
Cloud glared at Reno. It was at this moment that he realized that he might have made a mistake.
"You didn't bother to consult with me about this? Is that what you've been doing while I've been sitting here waiting for you!"
"C'mon! You got to pick the date and the place, and I was just helping out! Besides, it's my money, at least let me make one decision!"
Cloud began to pout and looked very upset. "But I wanted to help," he mumbled.
"Listen, I'm sorry, babe," Reno sighed. "From now on, how about we work together on everything so that no one is left out.
"You promise," Cloud mumbled as he gave Reno his most disarming puppy eyes.
"Yeah, I promise."
The room seemed to brighten considerably when Cloud got cheerful; maybe it was the glow in the Mako eyes, but regardless the red-head felt better about the entire thing. He felt so good in fact that he grabbed Cloud and pulled him on his lap before he proceeded to ravage those pouty lips. For once Cloud didn't mind either, and the two made out quite happily.
///that Friday///
Cloud and Reno made it to the little shop at exactly eight fifty nine in the morning and were greeted by Jacinda and a man with so many piercings that children would run away screaming. Reno winced just looking at them.
"All right, so this is your boy toy, Reno?" Jacinda asked while she set down a large stack of binders.
Cloud raised his eyebrow. "My name is Cl-"
Before he could finish, the guy with the piercings jumped up and yelled, "Holy Shiva! You're Cloud Strife, the Savior of the Planet!"
Startled, Cloud blushed and mumbled something along the lines of, "It wasn't that big of a deal."
Jacinda looked up and actually noticed the blond and realized that her partner was right.
"Oh my Gaia! I can't believe that we're doing your wedding! And you're gay!!! I'm so glad to meet you Mr. Strife!"
Cloud continued to get more and more red at the other man's excitement while Reno laughed at him. Reactions like that never failed to give him a good reason to laugh at Cloud. The man was now shaking Cloud's hand furiously and spewing other fan nonsense.
"Calm down Eric!" Jacinda yelled, "Let's just get down to fucking business!"
Eric continued to smile (which looked quite painful considering the large amount of metal in his face) as he sat down next to Jacinda. She pulled out a large blue folder and motioned for the two men to sit down. Once they were seated, she began the interrogation.
"So let's see. Which one of you is the bitch?"
The language seemed to shock Cloud considerably. He was used to dealing with foul-mouthed men, but women were still saints in his eyes. Women did not use language such as Cid would.
"Well, he-" began Reno before he got elbowed roughly by Cloud.
"Excuse me, but what the hell does that have to do with anything?" asked the blond through gritted teeth. He shot Reno a deadly glare.
"Well, one of you is gonna wear a dress, and it's only logical that the bitch does it," Jacinda explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Cloud paled and Reno snickered. Although they both took turns topping, Cloud was the decidedly more gay of the two, thus he ended up being the more uke of the two. Images of Cloud prancing around in a dress had Reno clutching his sides from the intensity of his laughs.
"Please excuse us for a minute," Cloud asked before he grabbed Reno's arm and dragged him to the front of the store. "What the hell!" he hissed. "I am not wearing a fucking dress!"
"Oh, c'mon!" Reno pleaded as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "You'll be fucking gorgeous!"
"I look gorgeous no matter what," Cloud huffed, "I just don't want to be in a dress. That would be to embarrassing."
Reno's grin did nothing to change Cloud's mind. In fact, it made him feel more strongly about his decision.
"Miss Jacinda, can't we just leave the dress out?" asked Cloud across the room.
She rose her eyebrows. "Listen up, uke, if you want a good wedding then you'll listen to my advice. And my advice is to take your pride and shove it up your ass and pick a fucking dress."
Cloud blushed even harder. "W-who says I'm the uke?"
Jacinda rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease! As if it's not obvious."
Cloud huffed and Reno snickered. "Well, why doesn't Reno wear the dress?" he shot back. "He would wear a dress better than I would."
Reno was taken aback. "What the fuck! I've never worn a dress before /cough cough/. Besides, you're the one with experience."
"How dare you bring that up! T-that was completely unfair! I only did it to save Tifa! I-it's not like I enjoyed wearing it!"
Eric was totally happy watching the two fight, and Jacinda rubbed her temples. Reno stopped laughing and took a deep breath.
"All right, angel, just hear me out," He whispered. "If you wear the dress, I promise I won't make fun of you. I'll probably get a nose bleed, and besides if would just be sexy!" He wrapped his arms around the reluctant blond. "Please? For me? I'll let you win the next argument, ok?"
Cloud sighed in defeat. "Well, it will be a private wedding anyway. It's not the entire Planet will know."
"You're totally right, babe. The only ones who'll know are your closest friends and the people you see every day."
For some reason, that didn't make Cloud feel any better.
To be continued…..
/grins/ well, i hoped you liked this. Jacinda was made up as i began typing. i couldn't think of any canon character that i could use, thus the foul-mouthed Jacinda was born. please review and let me know what you guys think! i am open for any suggestions or help.
