"On a Wing and a Prayer"

An Escaflowne Fanfiction by aefrae21

Keeping Secrets

Author's Notes: Van ventured into the mysterious space between life and death to find Hitomi and return her to the world of the living. But was he successful? What are the consequences? Enjoy!

"You have to wake up, please it's not your time to go!" Pleaded Van. "Hitomi, wake up!" He lunged forward and caught her in a tight embrace. Hitomi's body solidified and her head turned. Eyes, still cold and empty, started to tear and watery droplets trickled down from their corners. "Hitomi!" He had but an instant to feel the elation. Daggers of pain swarmed through his system. Everything convulsed in a wave of sudden and shocking force. Everything hurt. Van struggled to stay conscious, but the pain was too great. He blacked out.

vvvvvvvvvv

Van could feel consciousness creeping up on him. His eyelids fought sluggishly, but eventually Van's eyes met with all too much at once. The light was blinding. A shadow filled his vision and he recognized it instantly. Merle was staring down at him wide-eyed. Her ears perked up when she noticed the King's lazy movements.

"Lord Van!" she screeched. In a whirl of motion, Merle pounced.

He winced. "Merle! That hurts."

"Sorry! Sorry Lord Van! Oh! I've gotta tell Millerna!" The cat girl bounded away and somewhere in the room a door shut noisily.

Relaxing a little, Van eased himself up into a sitting position. He cringed. There were bruises and healing cuts all over his body. "What happened to me? I don't remember fighting anyone-" He paused. Something was odd. Easing his gaze over his shoulder, Van nearly fell off of the bed. "Hitomi!" Immediately, his relieved smile faded. "Oh gods. What happened?"

She was wounded. Hitomi's thin frame was coated in bandages. "What happened?" Van asked quietly. "Why can't I remember?" Closing his eyes, in part to avoid seeing the injured girl, Van tried to focus on the events of the past few days. "I remember training. Okay, well I do that everyday, but what happened afterwards?" He ran through his daily duties. "Then I retired to my room and I started to think-" Memories flooded his mind. "The pendant." Van reached a hand up to his bandaged chest. The pendant rested, cool and quiet. "Just what did you do?" He grimaced.

"Van! Oh you're awake! I'm so glad!" Millerna tore the door open and rushed to Van's side. It was then that Van realized that he was in his own bed and so was Hitomi. He blushed.

"Lord Van." Merle whined. "What happened to you?"

"Later Merle. Medical questions first." Millerna chided. "Judging by that puzzled look, I should tell you what I know first." She reached down to check Van's pulse. "Now," she started, "I arrived in Fanelia three days ago with Merle."

"Three days ago!" Van bellowed. "How long have I been asleep?"

Millerna furrowed her brow. "We're not really sure. You were found the evening before our arrival by a maid who was assigned to your wing of the castle. She came in to clean the room and found you and Hitomi on the floor." At this, Van turned to the still sleeping Hitomi.

"Please, continue."

"I was told upon arrival that you and a young lady had been gravely injured and was rushed to you. I must say," she blanched, "it was bad. You and Hitomi had gashes all over. It looked like someone cut you both with the same sword."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Lord Van." Merle held up his arm and pointed to Hitomi with her free hand. "You've got the same cuts."

Nearly paralyzed by her word, Van couldn't stop himself from staring. "But- but- how-" His Mother's voice haunted him. 'She will need to borrow your strength, your blood.'

"I don't-"

"My blood." He said. "It's because she needed my blood."

"Blood?" Merle looked confused.

"I'm not sure I follow Van, but maybe it is about time you told me what happened?"

"Millerna," He tried, "I'm not even sure about what happened. But, I do know- I know that Hitomi was brought here because I made a mistake. That mistake almost cost her life!"

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"No." He continued, louder now. "It's my fault that she was hurt and that she's here against her will-"

"Merle's ears flattened, "Lord Van, It's not your fault. I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt Hitomi."

"Come on Merle." Millerna tapped her shoulder.

"Wha?"

"Let's leave Van alone for now. I've checked them both and they seem to be stable." She spun to face Van momentarily. "You're healing very quickly, you know."

Merle frowned. "But-"

"We can come back in a little while, but for now, they need to rest. Okay?"

"Alright." Merle turned towards the door, but glanced back over her shoulder as she went. "You two get better okay? I'll be back!" The door closed with a thud. And then they were alone.

vvvvvvvvvv

Van sank back down into the bed. It was amazing how awkward it had suddenly become to have Hitomi lying next to him. The only things that covered her torso were bandages. Albeit they covered up a lot, it still made him nervous. He didn't dare pull back the covers to check for additional clothing.

In silence, he watched Hitomi's chest rise and fall with breath. "At least I haven't killed you. I don't know what I would have done-" Comfort swept over Van in waves and he stared at the sleeping seeress next to him. "Are you doing that?" He wondered. "If you are, thank you. You know there's no reason for you to forgive me right? What I've done is terrible." He pulled himself free from the warm blankets and stepped lightly on to the floor. Surprisingly, there was little pain. "Millerna's right," he mused, "I am healing rapidly."

He strolled around the room, testing his weary muscles gently. "It's going to take a lot of training to recover from this mess. Let a lone all of the explaining I'm going to have to do. The court must be worried sick; I'll bet they're lost without me." He paced. "And what am I supposed to tell her?"

'The truth.' His mind screamed. 'Just tell her everything, how you missed her, how you didn't mean for it to happen this way.' "But what about the harm I've done to her? I mean, I don't know what exactly went on, or how we both lived through it. What if there are other consequences?" Van paused, "I don't know what will happen. He shuffled over to the bed and neatly held one of Hitomi's hands. It was warm; a good sign. "I wish you'd wake up so I could quit tormenting myself like this." He said ruefully.

"Van?"

He stared at the large curtained window leading to his balcony. "I'd just say I was sorry and everything would be okay again-"

"Van?"

"Hitomi?" He twisted slowly. "I-" Suddenly, Hitomi threw herself against him in a fierce hug.

"Van, oh Van, it really is you!" She cried. "I was so afraid, afraid that I'd just die and never get to see you again." Hitomi burst into tears. "I missed you."

"Hitomi." Van felt the name roll from his lips naturally. "I missed you too." He returned her hug lightly, trying not to put pressure on her wounds.

Pulling back from the hug, Hitomi wiped the tears from her eyes. "Van, it was so bizarre. I remember the car and then a lot of pain; after that, I was walking towards this big, glowing light." She closed her eyes, "But then, I was being held by something soft, like feathers and they drew me back." The shining green orbs turned to him again. "And it seems I've wound up on Gaea."

"Hitomi, there is something I should tell you-" Van said.

"Hmm?"

"It's about how you got here. It's my fault; I called you-"

"Van?" Hitomi puzzled. There was something strange happening. She sensed something she'd only ever felt in her visions: emotion. Van was sorry, but he was also frightened and ashamed. He was hiding something too. Maybe it was the near-death experience? Hitomi dismissed the idea and turned her attention outward. Here she was, in what could only be Van's bed, sitting next to him with only bandages above her waist and who-knows-what- on below. Van was in the same state of near undress, wearing only pants and bandages, and- Just the thought of it made her blush profusely.

"And then, the beast-less cart hit you and I-"

"Van?" She leaned closer, ignoring his protests.

His mind said to push her away, but the rest of him was urging otherwise. The strange thing was that Van could nearly feel her embarrassment and- he hesitated- desire? "Hi- Hitomi?"

They moved closer still. Everything just felt right, magnetic- almost. Hitomi felt a shock go thorough her system and she bolted back, breathing heavily. "I'm- I'm sorry!" She babbled. Her senses reeled back to her. "I should get a bath and um- some clothes."

"Oh!" Van stepped back. "Yes, I'll let Millerna know you're awake. I'm sure she'll be able to help you out."

vvvvvvvvvv

Thankfully, Merle and Millerna were not too far away and were only too happy to help Hitomi. Merle put her into a robe of sorts and then escorted her down the hall to the large, royal bathroom. A huge bathtub was already being filled with strange-smelling water that Hitomi's nose registered as Fanelian bath salts.

"Millerna said that we should take the bandages off for your bath." Merle said.

"Oh."

"Well are you gonna take 'em off or not?" Her tail twitched.

"Well, I was going to take them off once you left." She retorted.

Merle snorted. "Oh no. Millerna told me that I'm supposed to help. She said you won't be able to do it by yourself." The gleam in her feline eye was full of ego.

"Stupid cat."

Hitomi, unfortunately, was unable to put up much of a fight in her injured state and Merle eventually peeled every last bandage off. They fell into a sloppy pile at her feet. The cat girl hesitated.

"What is it?" Hitomi asked. "Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing, just a bad scratch. It will probably sting in the water." She lied. It was probably just her imagination anyway. With her usual gruffness, she leaned over Hitomi's shoulder. "Still not too much up front, eh?"

"Merle!" She quickly raised her hands for cover. "Out!"

Sticking out her tongue, Merle raced out of the room. Hitomi was fuming. "She didn't have to go and insult me like that. Not like she's got any room to talk. Hmph!"

Ignoring the sting from the semi-open wounds, Hitomi boldly plunged into the bath. "I'll get her back for that one!"

Her anger subsided as she relaxed in the warm water. It was nice to just sit and relax again. "My life has really been strange in the last few days, hasn't it?" She nearly laughed. Sliding down into the tub, she hissed. "That stings! I guess Millerna was right. That's funny, why am I shaking?" She held her arms around her knees. "I shouldn't be scared now. The worst is over, right? I didn't die. I'm back on Gaea with Van." The thought coaxed her uneasy mind into submission. She carefully slipped down as far as she could into the water. "There are so many things that I just don't know right now. I'm so confused." Hitomi sighed. "First I nearly die and from what I remember, Van must have saved me. But I'm back now. What if I can't go home? Not like there's anything waiting for me there. High school? Sure, if I want to keep on watching the world go by and turn down requests for readings all of the time. My family would miss me, yeah. But isn't that why I went home in the first place?" She picked up the soap. "Why did I go home? Because it's where I belong, isn't it?" The soap smelled of lavender and Hitomi smiled. "Somehow, I just can't see Van using lavender soap."

Hitomi's head throbbed. Suddenly, Van's face showed in her mind's eye. He looked so sad and worried. Pushing her thoughts further, she asked, "What are you sad about? Why are you worried, Van?" To her surprise, the image turned and stared at her, startled.

"I'm sad because I've nearly killed you."

"Van?"

"And I'm worried that I'll lose you again."

Hitomi flushed. The horrible sad face Van was making frightened her. He looked like a man who had lost his best friend, his home, and his family, all in the same day. With a stinging horror, she knew that had really happened to him. Van lost his family early on, and then he lost his home when Fanelia burned. As for his best friend- "I wish we could become more than that." She whispered. The vision dissipated and Hitomi was left staring at a frowning reflection in the clearing water.

vvvvvvvvvv

"Van?" Millerna waved a hand in front of his face. "Are you alright?"

"Huh? Yes, I'm fine. Continue please."

She would have thought nothing of his distracted mind if she hadn't seen him blush just then. There was something strange going on here indeed. "Van, what I'm trying to say is that I really know nothing about Draconian blood. I can't tell you what might happen."

"But you know about blood, right?" Van asked.

"Yes, but-"

"And how it can be transferred?"

"Well that's advanced medicine, I'm afraid I haven't put anything I've ever read of it into practice." She explained. "But the process is long and involves circulating the blood into the injured person via a need and tube. Van?"

"Yes?"

"This phenomenon is unlike anything I've ever read. If what you say is true, then my best diagnosis is that you've managed to sustain Hitomi's life by sharing your own. Your matching injuries point towards that end. I could best describe the whole event as nothing short of a miracle."

Van took it all in slowly. "I was thinking. Could it be anything like when I piloted Escaflowne? I made a blood pact with it and it became a part of me." He looked hesitant, but continued. "I am just concerned about the consequences of what happened to us."

"Van, I understand you're worried." Millerna sat gingerly in the chair next to the bed. "But there's no use making yourself and Hitomi suffer over it. You are both alive and well, your kingdom is flourishing, and you are lucky enough to get a second chance."

"Second chance?"

Millerna winked.

That didn't make him feel any better.

She looked him over, smiled, and then walked away.

That irritated him even more. Van rolled his eyes and then his shoulders. Millerna's diagnosis was probably as close as it could be to the truth. At least, Van had no information to prove it wrong. What bothered him now, what that he could tell in a way what Hitomi was feeling. It was less now than when she was right next to him; but it was still there. "How am I supposed to explain this to Hitomi? Let alone anyone else."

vvvvvvvvvv

Hitomi scarcely remembered being led from the bath to a dressing room with fresh clothes. She'd been given a green sundress, still a bit too lacey by her standards, but it fit well enough. After a brief walk, Hitomi became dizzy and now she just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Millerna refused to let her up again today. The room looked much like Van's chamber; it was extremely large and spacious, with dark wooden furniture and a huge four-poster bed. Red velveteen curtains blocked most of the light. At least it had an interesting ceiling. It was full of little divots and cracks. Hitomi traced the stonework with her eyes, following the mortar that held the unwieldy blocks together.

Steadily, sleep claimed her. The quiet stillness of unconsciousness didn't last long. Hazy images crept into Hitomi's mind, overwhelming her until they spread out and joined into a form she easily recognized. "You're- Van's Mother, aren't you?"

The taller woman nodded and took on a more solid shape. She was very tall, with long hair and an elegant oval face. Hitomi's eyes were drawn though, to the soft, white wings that enveloped her. "What is this?" Between them, the ground cleared into a picture. Hitomi gasped. It was just like the time she'd saved Van from death in the black Escaflowne. Except, she noted, it was her walking away into the darkness this time. "Is that me?"

The winged woman nodded and pointed back to the image. In it, Van was rushing through the crowd of spirits, calling her name. "Van." She reached an arm out, but drew it back. Van was running and catching up to her ghost. With great force, he flew through her wavering body and landed on the 'ground.' Now he was talking to himself, words that Hitomi couldn't hear. "Is this what happened before?"

'Yes.' A sweet voice echoed inside her mind.

Hitomi swung around to look at Van's Mother.

'Look.' She pointed; Hitomi obeyed.

Below them, Van had Hitomi in a gripping hug. "No." She raised a hand to cover her gaping mouth. Van's body was erupting in lacerations. He crumpled against her spirit, holding tighter still. The memory surged at her. Van was in so much pain. She remembered opening her eyes and seeing Van in pain, then there was the warmth and the feathery feeling- "No more." She whispered. "Please- I remember now."

The images receded into the mist. 'Now you will understand.'

"But I don't understand!" Hitomi whined. "I don't understand any of it! Why did it hurt him so? What's happened to him?"

'You worry for him so much; I was right about you.'

Hitomi stared, both befuddled and angry.

'There has been a fusing of your spirits.'

"Our- spirits?" She felt even more confused.

'I've never seen the like of it. Forgive me, it was I who interfered.' Her body rippled and began to fade. 'He could have died; I thank you for saving him.'

"Thank me? Didn't he rescue me?" This was getting more confusing by the second. "And why are my visions becoming clearer all of a sudden? Why are my senses so strong?"

Her voice wavered. 'I am sorry, dear Hitomi, but this is all the time I have been allowed. Everything will become clear in time.'

"Wait!" The world was fading around her, falling back to the dreamless black that had welcomed her into sleep.

'Trust yourself, and take care of him.'

"Wait!"

vvvvvvvvvv

Hitomi flung herself up from the bed. Her heart raced so fast that she had to hold her chest and breathe deeply to quiet it. "What was that?" She asked softly. "That was more than a vision. I haven't had a vision like that in a long time, so why now? What is going on?"

There was a knock at the door.

She pulled the covers neatly over her lap and took another deep breath. "Come in."

The door swayed inward and Van half tip-toed into the room. Hitomi frowned; he was worried, very worried. "Stop that please. I know I'm worried, that doesn't mean you have to be too."

"What?" Hitomi tilted her head. How had he known?

"It's part of what I have to explain to you. I've been doing some research in our library." Van looked at the corner of the bed with utter concentration and focus.

"Go ahead." She patted the comforter and he sat. "So? What did you find?" It was probably best to wait a while before telling him about the vision.

He twisted slightly. Hitomi was hiding something. "What I found is what I expected, well, at least the majority of it." Van paused, looking nervous.

"And?"

Lowering his voice, he said, "It's Atlantean, no question about it."

"Atlantean? You mean Draconian?"

"Without a doubt." He pulled a book from under his arm. Flipping pages, he arrived at a picture of two draconians holding hands. "As far as Millerna, Allen, and I have been able to understand-"

"Allen?"

Van hid behind a stoic mask. "Yes, he's been here visiting me recently and he wanted to help." Biting down the urge to yell, he went on, "Would you like to see him?"

How awkward that would be. Hitomi had once thought she was in love with the knight, but it turned out that was no the case at all. Could she even face him again? After rejecting his feelings and then leaving the planet? "I think I'll wait."

Relief rushed through both of them.

"Why don't you tell me what you found out? I can always see Millerna, Merle, and Allen tomorrow."

Van frowned. This wasn't going to be easy either. "Well, we've been linked." Hitomi didn't budge. In nervousness, he rambled on, "I mean that we um- well- look here." He pointed to a section in the book. The writing was strange, but Hitomi's mind put together the words anyway. She read, then stared.

"Does this mean we-"

"No! It's just that this sort of thing is a naturally occurring effect among my people. It used to happen between couples when they- once they-" He coughed. "It is a link that allows for healing and-"

She read the next line and finished for him, "It allows for the sharing of life energy and emotion. Van?"

He went silent; he knew that the news would upset her. But, to his surprise, he didn't feel any anger or hatred from her. Hitomi was instead looking at him complacently.

If she told him that she could distinctly feel every mood he was in, would he be afraid? Worried? Angry? Happy? Regardless of how he felt about it, she'd know. A blush crept into her cheeks and Hitomi leaned back in an attempt to calm herself. If she could feel his emotions, then he could surely feel hers. "Please Van, could you leave me alone for a little while, I'm really tired."

A lie, Van knew, but there was no anger in her words, only fear. "Very well. I'll have someone check on you later."

And he was gone. "Van-" It was a cold way to get some privacy, but it had to be done. Hitomi pulled the covers back up and snuggled into their warmth. She lay there for hours, watching the sun fade behind the thick curtains. Finally, she sat up and stretched. "I can see that I'm not going to get any more sleep today. I don't care what Millerna says, I at least need to get out and think." She slid the door open and peered down the hall. Empty. Careful to be soundless, Hitomi closed the door behind her and slipped towards the courtyard. "Maybe if I can figure this thing out myself." She whispered. "Then I'll-" She stopped. "Then I'll what? I don't know what solving the mystery is going to accomplish. But I want to know!" With new resolve, she focused her senses and increased her pace.

vvvvvvvvvv

A/N: That's it for now. More to come. Is Van hiding the rest of the explanation? Where does he get books like that anyway? What's everyone so worried about? Next time look forward to a little Merle time, some fun reading, and a shocking discovery!