A/N: This is the 2nd Chapter in the back story of Paige McCullers, it picks up where the TV leaves off in the flashback of where Alison takes the letter from Paige. Things get dark from here on out…so try to hang in there. We all know things get better for Paige.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters just the words I use to talk about them.
Chapter 2: The Down Pour 12-11-12
"Damn, damn, damn! Fucking Alison DiLaurentis DAMMIT"
Paige screamed as she watched Alison drive away in a blue VW Bug with another blonde girl. She looked around & noticed that people were starting to watch her have a total breakdown so she thought she should pull herself together. Paige hopped back on her bike & headed home taking her anger out on the ride as best as she could. She kept cursing Alison DiLaurentis for constantly starting shit with her & for being a plotting scheming horrible bitch. She started to mutter under her breath as she rode back home,
"How does that bitch know? This is crazy she can't know, but she does know, but how does she know? Or did she just try this horrible scheme just to see if I would respond? How could Alison know, what did I do to tip her off? Did I stare at Emily too much or what? Jesus will she really tell my dad? Oh god I have to stop her... Oh god how? How can I stop her? Fuck fuck, fuck, oh goddam that BITCH!"
Paige was furious & mostly at herself for ever letting her guard down, that letter from Emily was way too good to be true & she should have know it. Of course there was no way that Emily Fields would ever feel that way about her because how could she? Emily was a beautiful goddess like woman who was great at everything & everything came easy to her. Paige started hitting her leg in frustration she knew better than to let people in, she knew better than to trust people, not to mention Emily was friends with Alison DiLaurentis & this is what Alison specializes in, torture. This was also her total confirmation that her feelings for Emily & for women were wrong. Her church taught her that, her parents reinforced it & this situation to Paige was the logical consequence for her being "this way". She knew she should have kept that door shut tight & never let those feelings see the light of day. Now she had to keep it from her parents at any cost.
But Alison DiLaurentis, she was gonna pay oh sweet God, she was gonna pay .If Alison thought the bruise Paige gave her in gym for all the bitchy comments about Paige's Eczema was bad then what Paige was gonna do to her now would be fucking crazy. Paige started to imagine insane scenarios thinking of ways to make the pain she wanted to inflict on Alison look like accidents. She only wished she was on a rival field hockey team that would give her a reason to beat the crap out of her with her stick & maybe get away with it. One thing was certain Alison deserved to get whatever Paige could think up for her & Paige was thinking that water-boarding was not off the table. As Paige biked home the clouds came back & a light rain started to fall which quickly started to pick up into an actual rain storm. All of this rage that had blazing inside her was tiring her out & after her swim laps in the morning & the excitement then disappointment of the day this bike ride home was making her feel exhausted, worn out, old even. She pulled her bike into the garage just as the sky started to drop massive drops of rain & the intensity flared up. When Paige walked in wet from the rain her dad was right there waiting to grill her about her school day, she had to think quick & do some creative editing to avoid telling him about the C+ on her Algebra pop quiz but she managed to avid him on it & be done with their conversation in under 4 min; a new record. Mostly she got away easy because she was dripping on the new silk rug & her dad didn't want her mom to know so he dismissed her. Immediately she clambered down the stairs to her basement/ground level bed room where she closed & locked the door behind her.
Once there she felt free to let all of her feelings about what Alison had done to her today take over. She started to pace back & forth in her room that feeling of total rage had started to die down & became more of a sharp total body pain. She looked out her window that was really sliding glass doors leading to the patio & the pool. The rain was really coming down; a real down pour dropping big buckets of rain splashing down & slapping the surface of the pool. She watched the rain for a while being calmed by the rhythm of the storm & it's steady flow. She turned away from the window/doors & finally she let herself collapse into a crying mess on the floor next to her bed pulling down the little green & blue patch work throw blanket she made with her nana on top of her. She curled up & let it all happen, all the shame she felt, the anger, the crushing weight of longing & loneliness that seemed to be heavier than anything she thought she could ever bear. Paige felt this enormous sense that she just lost something precious that could have/should have belong to her. Alison DiLaurentis did all of that to her with this prank. She took something Paige didn't even consciously know she needed, she took her only comfort & any hope of solidarity & she crushed it to dust. Paige felt beaten, she felt bloodied & tired. She lay there crying holding her blanket to her for as long as she dared. She knew she needed to dry her eyes & start to work on her homework because her dad would be in in a little while to check her progress & she couldn't be a mess or he would know something was up. So she got up after all the tears had stopped & went to her bathroom to wash her face & eyes.
She looked at herself in the mirror & thought she looked sort of like an abuse victim, the ones they show in the pamphlets at the women's shelter she volunteers for twice a month. Her eyes were puffy & even a little black & blue from rubbing them, but mostly it was the look of defeat in her eyes that reminded her of those women. They all had a haunted sallow look & Paige the swimmer, the would-be field hockey MVP, the overachiever, the girl who won everything because she pushed harder than anything or one else was becoming the same as them; defeated. She was beaten & she knew it, her life might as well be over because she also knew Alison would stop at nothing to nail this letter to Paige's coffin. She knew she had to toss out all plans of revenge or at least postpone them because Alison would give that letter to her parents, post it all over school & possibly the internet; she knew she would. Alison DiLaurentis was malicious & ruthless & anything Paige did to fight her back would surely blow up in her face. She had only one choice which was to meet whatever demands Alison had of her. She was going to have to do some stupid humiliating things until she could get back the letter. Somehow she had to try to play nice & cool because she was gonna have to outsmart & maneuver Alison at her own game & her rage & anger weren't going to help her. She knew that because she could see that that's what Alison feeds on other people's anger & fear. Paige refused to show that to her she decided to be strong not in the way she had been; the not taking Alison's shit pushing back, playing just as dirty as Alison way, but by doing what would be demanded from her & not showing that it hurt or bothered her. She wouldn't cry out, she wouldn't make a fuss or a scene.
The Gym incident almost got Paige in big trouble, but luckily no one saw it & it became Paige's word against Alison's so the teacher called it a wash which Alison was more than happy to let go. Paige now realized it was because she started planning this as her revenge. Paige thought is she used violence then Alison would be even crueler that she would go even deeper into fucking with Paige's life so she had to play calm & cool. She would be smart & look for a way to get the letter back & end the torture ASAP. She could do this & she knew Alison would have some sort of ransom for her secret as she has done with many other people. Paige knew Alison dealt in secrets she'd overheard her talking to a few of her past victims when Alison didn't know she was listening. She knew Alison liked to use things just like this to force people into adoring her, fearing her & generally doing what she said. Paige didn't want to be one of those people but with Alison having the letter what choice did she have. Besides all she needed to do was just play the game a bit & keep her head on, not get provoked or back down. Paige just couldn't afford to let this secret out.
Paige called down to her parents saying she'd already had dinner which was a lie & that she had tons of homework to do which was only partly true, just so she didn't have to see them the rest of the night. She pulled out her Algebra 2 homework & started on it, but only got through the 5th question before she put it away setting her alarm so she could get up early & do it in the morning. She stripped out of her day cloths found her pajamas switched off her lights & got into bed to try to sleep. It didn't come easy, her brain ran round & around, she tossed & turned thinking about the letter, Alison, Emily & her family. Finally once it was all hashed over the hundredth time in her brain she slowly fell into a heavy sleep. In her dreams she saw herself holding hands with Emily & they were walking down the side walk only the sidewalk cracked & opened. She looked up & Emily wasn't there but across the street on solid ground was Alison DiLaurentis laughing at her. She was joined by Emily, Spencer, Aria & Hanna pointing & starring at Paige on her broken sidewalk. She tried to jump from one concrete slab to another but they were melting away fast under the molten lava that oozed through the cracks devouring Paige's side of the street. She saw Emily throw her head back in a squeal of laughter & Alison staring at her & for a moment her face flashed & turned into a corpse face crusted over with bloody rotting flesh & black dirt caked around her mouth. Paige woke up & let out a scream of horror then she realized it was just a dream it however took her a while to calm back down & drift back to sleep. The rain's fairly constant white noise aided her falling asleep. When she finally did sleep it was blissfully dreamless.
