Laying in my bed and staring at my ceiling I can't help but picture the girls face over and over again. This has been going on since I left the hospital a couple of hours ago. Its as if I can't help but think of her, she seems to be a puzzle.. a puzzle that only I can solve.
zzzzzz
This day felt different. I don't know if this is a good different of a bad different.
This felt foreign to me, since that incident it is a wonder for me to feel something, to care, to be curious about another person and I don't know what to feel about all of that. Should I feel happy? Excited? Afraid? Should I go running for the hills? I just don't know what to feel anymore.
After a long time of nothing suddenly its everything at the same time, overwhelming in its wake.
Argghhh... My head thinks of all this crazy things, where the hell are my interns?
"I would love to eat pizza daddy" I heard the most heavenly voice right across from me. The same room of the little girl last night.
Inching closer to hear more of the conversation; I felt like an outsider intruding on a family moment - which in retrospect I probably am.
"Good morning Dr. Grey" one of my blasted interns greeted me chirpily.
Startled, I drop the patient file I was holding, causing a lot of papers scattered on the floor. "Shut up and help me with this!" I replied angrily.
Looking at my now dejected intern I felt slightly guilty which was something new for me. Since last night I seem to be developing an awareness regarding my surroundings and the people around me. And I don't know how to react to this new found feeling that I'm now experiencing. Pushing all troubled thoughts at the back of my mind, I started leading my interns to the first patient.
"This is Ms. Elizabeth Shepherd, 6yrs old present"
"Ms. Elizabeth Shepherd came in last night at 8pm with a ..." my intern's words were drowned out as my thoughts started wandering again.. wandering towards the little girl of course.
I am studying her as intently as she is studying me apparently.
"Where are your parents honey, Why are you alone?" I ask her as I heard the last of my intern's report.
"Oh, hi! I'm Elizabeth, my daddy is getting me a pizza.. It's my favorite!"
"Hi Elizabeth, I'm Dr. Meredith and pizza is my favorite too."
"Would you like some? I can ask daddy to give you one."
"Thank you sweet girl but I already ate. You just enjoy your pizza"
"I'm back!" somebody cried out. Surprising me into noticing that all my interns seems to have been staring at me with wonder for quite some time now.
"Hi Doctor, I'm Dr. Shepherd can you give me an update regarding my daughter?"
Glaring at my interns to not say anything about what they had just witness, I turned around to face my patient's father..
"Derek?!"
