CHAPTER 1: Motherlove
I was sitting on the wooden steps leading up to our apartment, my bare feet dangling to and fro as I waited for my friend impatiently. I could feel the sun blazing above me, and longed for the cool shade under the old oak tree, on the outskirts of the village.
And then I heard someone running towards me, and I jumped onto the dry, dusty ground and knew it was Lee. He punched me in the arm softly, the way he always did, and I grinned at him.
''You took your time, didn't you?''
''Shut up,'' he grinned and bent down to let me scramble onto his shoulders happily. Then we set off, down the baking, deserted streets of the village.
Lee was my best friend, although he was older than me by about five years. But that was just guess work, really, because he could never be too sure about his true age. He was an orphan, who had been taken in by a benign old woman, old Fee, as a toddler. She had looked after him and loved him, and he had been perfectly content with his life.
But two years ago, when Lee had been ten, Fee had finally passed away, and he had to earn his own living from then on. He worked at a small farm, six miles away from the village five days a week, and they treated him well, and gave him enough food, so he was lucky, really. They had even offered to let him stay in a spare room, to save him the long journey to and from the village every end of the week. But he had declined, because he knew I needed him.
Every Friday I would wait for Lee to come impatiently, and the days he left for the farm again, were the most despised and dreaded. I always harbored a secret fear, that one day, he would enjoy life at the farm so much, that he wouldn't come back. But he always did.
''We're nearly there!'' Lee shouted, then broke into a gallop, with me hanging on to his neck for dear life. He tripped, and both of us fell to the ground, in a mass of dry earth and dust and laughter. Now that I was on the earth again, I could feel where the oak was, and I disentangled myself from my friend, to limp to the cool, soothing shade. Lee followed, still chuckling with mirth.
''You blind or something?'' I asked grinning as I stretched out under the tree.
''It's treason to insult your next king!'' Lee said in mock outrage, picking himself up from the dirt and falling down beside me. ''Guards! Off with her head!''
Lee had somehow convinced himself, that he would be Earth King someday, a dream, which made me feel more pity than scorn.
I changed the subject hastily. ''Tell me a story, Lee.''
He knew them all. The myths and legends, the heroes of the Earth Kingdom, the great entities of the spirit worlds. It was delicious, just sitting there lazily in the cool shade of our favorite tree, listening to Lee talk of the first two Earth benders, Oma and Shu, with not a care in the world. The war could have been in another world, in another time, we didn't care, because we were kids, because it didn't affect us in the slightest.
And because we didn't know what was coming.
The sun was setting and it was growing colder, as we finally made our way back to the village. We passed a group of soldiers gambling on the street, who looked up as we passed and jeered drunkenly. ''Hail to the Earth King!''
Furious, Lee picked up a stone, ready to throw it, and I tugged at his sleeve desperately, willing him to stop. He dropped the stone back onto the ground reluctantly, but it was too late, one of the men had already seen him and the earth rumbled beneath us and jerked us off our feet, accompanied by the roars of laughter of the men. How I wished, at that moment, how I longed to be a true earthbender, to beat them, to beat them all.
I was a bender, but I was also blind. I knew I would never be anything better than mediocre, and I wasn't even that at the moment. The only consolation I had, was that earthbeding helped me see with my feet, that I wasn't entirely useless.
''C'mon,'' Lee growled, and we walked away from the jeering men. They weren't real soldiers, the real soldiers were all gone, fighting in the endless war, that seemed so far away. They were meant to protect our village from the Fire Nation, but even a blind girl could see that all of them would be the first ones running, at the first sign of any real danger.
''Well, Toph,'' Lee mumbled, and I could tell he was still fuming inwardly because of the incident, ''See you tomorrow..''
With that he turned into a smaller alley, which led to his house. I was left to climb the creaking wooden steps alone, and as I reached the door of our apartment, I could sense that my mother was already in there.
She had laid out the table, with a bowl of hot, steaming soup, and I sat down quietly in front of it. She offered no greeting as I came in, but that was nothing new.
''Aren't you eating?'' I asked her, without any real interest.
''No,'' was all she said, bending over and handing me a spoon. Then she turned to leave.
''Go to bed after you're done,'' she said, and I could tell by the sound of her voice, that she wasn't even looking at me. ''I'm going to meet a friend, I may be home late.''
I knew she probably wouldn't be home at all, but I didn't care.
I had always tried to feel completely indifferent, wherever my mother was concerned, because I could feel her loathing towards me. Oh, I'm sure she fought against it, I'm sure she tried to like, maybe even love her only child. At one time, at least.
But I knew, even then, that she held me solely responsible for the desertion of the man she had loved.
Apparently, my father had left her on the very same night I had been born. The same night, in short, he had found out that his child was a girl. And blind.
She had hoped he'd be back in a few days, then a couple of months. She'd hoped he'd remember her after a year, and return. Now seven years had past, seven long years, without so much as a word from her husband. Even my mother had to give up hoping sometime..
And every time her eyes fell on me, every single time, I was sure of it, she would see the reason for her broken heart.
The trouble was, that she was the only mother I would ever have (or so I thought), and however much I tried to convince myself of the opposite, deep down, I yearned for her love and acceptance.
''See you later, then,'' I said, smiling slightly at my small joke, but she didn't seem to get it.
I sighed and finished my soup in silence, before falling sleepily onto the hard futon on the floor.
I didn't know it then, but it was to be my last night in the village.
