So...I wasn't gonna post this until next week, but I saw so much positive feedback and it made me just so happy that I was like, "May as well". So you guys are lucky ducks, getting two updates in a single day ;D I'm jealous. Anywho~ if you are concerned/confused, go ahead and ask for me to clear things up, or scold me on some mistake I made. I don't feel like this chapter was the best, but these first few chapters are necesary to get the story moving along.

Thank you for reading and feedback it greatly appreciated ^-^


Eventually, things with the new baby evened out. Lovino was still immensely jealous of all the extra attention the thing got, but he didn't hate him so much anymore. Antonio helped a lot with that, providing a necessary distraction for the Italian to turn to whenever he just couldn't stand the crying brat anymore. His mother got better too as the infant aged, and she started taking the two of them on walks down the same path again. Lovino would have preferred it to be just him and her, but he was just glad it was happening. Every time they passed a certain tree, though, Lovino couldn't help but shudder, remembering the way Antonio's body plummeted to the ground.

Speaking of the Spaniard, the two boys were inseparable after their little incident. They played together, walked together, talked together. It had gotten to the point that their mothers organized a calendar of play dates and who would watch on each day. Jacquelyn couldn't be happier; her plan to socialize Lovino was working without a hitch. Antonio's mother, Adelita, was happy as well. She worried that Antonio wouldn't be able to fit in.

The friends spent many of the next two years together, learning more about each other with each passing day. There were many things about Antonio that Lovino found rather strange. For example, the Spaniard often spoke gibberish that Lovino didn't understand. Whenever Antonio caught himself doing so, he would immediately apologize for himself. Soon he was diagnosed with some sort of speech impairment, but that didn't make sense to Lovino. He didn't even know what impairment meant. Either way, that was Antonio's excuse whenever he said something that Lovino didn't understand. Antonio also had a way of seeing something new and being utterly astounded by it, as if it were the greatest thing in the world. He did so often and it seemed to happen more with animals than it did with anything else. Once, they saw a beaver waddling across a creek, and Antonio refused to stop watching it until it was completely out of sight. He then proceeded to attack Lovino with questions about the organism. What was it called? What did it do? Why was it here? Lovino didn't even know how to answer most of the questions. It was as if Antonio never even knew beavers existed.

However, with technology, Antonio was a pro. Lovino had never seen anybody use a computer as well as Toni did, at least nobody younger than twelve. Whenever they had access to one, Lovino would often have Toni do some sort of task on the device, just to amaze the Italian with his speed and efficiency.

When Lovino was seven and Antonio was nine, Lovino started seeing less and less of his mother. For some reason, he had started staying at Antonio's house more and more, but that wasn't the weird part. Feliciano would stay with them, too. Whenever he did see his mother, she seemed older, moved slower, and she was just always so tired. The walks she used to take with Feliciano and him were abandoned without so much as an explanation, and the wonderful scents of cooking no longer lingered in the house. His father he had never seen much of before, but now he rarely saw him at all. All of the joy their house was once filled with just seemed to be slowly dissipating, and Lovino didn't know what to do. He knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what.

On one particularly warm August day, Lovino was sitting on the carpet, playing with a handful of toy dinosaurs Antonio gave him a while back. The elder claimed that he didn't like them anymore and Lovino wasn't complaining. They were the coolest things ever. His mother sat on a beat-up rocking chair, rocking herself slightly and reading a book.

Amused with the toys, Lovino picked up his favourite one, the Tyrannosaur. Mimicking what he figured the great beast would sound like; he had it attack a smaller dinosaur. In his mind, he pictured the other creature screaming in defeat, and then the Rex would feast.

Jacquelyn had placed her book to the side and smiled down on her eldest son. He was growing up so beautifully…and that's what brought tears to her eyes. He had so much to learn and she didn't have time to teach him. She wasn't too concerned for Feliciano, he was so young right now, and he would have a wonderful big brother to teach him what he needed to know. It did hurt she wouldn't be able to see her sons go to school, to attend any recitals or hang any of their art up on the fridge…

She didn't want to let her son see her cry, so she forced down the thoughts and spoke weakly, "Lovino? Would you come here sweetheart?"

Lovino looked up from his dinosaur banquet, and then set down the toys to climb onto her lap. She made no noise as he situated himself to be comfortable, turning his eyes to meet her sweet ones. They looked a lot alike, mother and son. Both had the same dark auburn hair, the same wide olive eyes, and the same even skin tone. Lovino felt pride in looking so much like his mother, even if she was a girl. She smiled pleasantly at him, a smile not many people but him got to see, and brushed some hair out of his face. "You're getting big."

Lovino grinned and puffed out his chest, "Think I'll be as big as Papa one day?"

Jacquelyn's eyes crinkled, "maybe you will. Also," she took a chunk of his hair into her fingers, "you need a haircut."

His nose crinkled, "No I don't."

Humming, she dropped the piece, not really wanting to argue it further. "Want to do something with Mama today?"

Lovino's eyes brightened, maybe they would go on a walk! "Like what?"

"I want to show you how to make pasta."

Well, it wasn't a walk, but it was just as good. Lovino nodded happily, causing Jacquelyn to laugh at her son's exuberance. She would teach him the basics today, and then tomorrow she'd show him more. She wanted him to know everything she had to teach about the kitchen. It would be her last footprint on this world.

She attempted to stand up while holding Lovino, but she was too weak and he was too big. He didn't seem to mind though as he slid to the floor and made a dash to the kitchen, shouting for her to hurry. If she had known he would take to pasta-making so well, she'd have taught him much earlier. It was too late for that now though, and there was no use looking at the past.

She showed him everything she could that day. Explaining how the importance of measuring things was good, but a good cook would always use his instincts. She showed him how to make pasta from scratch, then how to made sauce out of fresh tomatoes. She showed him the best ways to wash a tomato, the best ways to rinse the pasta, and the best ways to mix ingredients. It wasn't much, and she didn't know how much her son had actually picked up on, but it was worth it. Perhaps he'd teach his brother how to make pasta one day, and maybe sometime in the future, his own kids. She hoped he'd make his own recipes and perfect upon her own, turn them into his own creations. It would be all she could ever want.

As the sun set in the sky, tinting the kitchen a playful orange, she cleaned up the mess with Lovino. He was tired after a day of so much learning, and a little lethargic from consuming so much pasta. What could he say? It was his pasta he made with his own hands. He was darn proud. After the last cup had been set to dry, he walked hand in hand with his mother to his bedroom.

"Did you have fun today, Lovino?" She asked, tucking him into bed.

He mumbled out a tired affirmation, curling up into her side. After a moment of contemplating it, she climbed right into the bed with him, wrapping an arm under his head for a pillow. She played with his hair, searching for ways to turn her thoughts into words.

"Lovino…one day you may feel as if you are alone," she started out, trying to say what she wanted to without scaring him, "and when people are alone, they do scary things. You may feel that nobody cares or wants you. If that time ever comes…please don't lose faith."

Lovino stirred in her arms, not understanding the meaning of his mother's words.

She continued, "I will always love you Lovino. I always have and I will never stop. I know things have been hard with Feliciano…but you've been such a trooper." She couldn't hide the open admiration in her voice, "And I'm so proud. There's nothing you could do to make me less proud of you.

"When you grow up, you will experience new people and new beliefs. Please don't be one who hates based on that. You are a good kid, Lovi, and nothing can break you unless you let it. One day, you may even find that you aren't who you thought you were, and you'll want to explore new thoughts and ideas. Don't let anyone stop you from doing so. Be the Lovino you want to be," she tilted the boy's chin up to her, causing him to open his eyes tiredly, "Sweetheart, promise me you won't be anybody but Lovino."

Confused, Lovino nodded, "Sí. I promise, Mama."

"And promise me you'll protect Feliciano with everything you have."

He wrinkled his nose in distaste, but eventually nodded. Anything for his Mama.

She let go of his chin and he rested his head in her lap, trying to understand what his mother meant. How could he be anybody other than Lovino? It's not like one day he can suddenly decide to be Antonio or something. Besides, even if he wanted to, he doubted Toni would let him. Also, why was she so worried about the baby? It wasn't like she wouldn't be there to pluck him up from the grasp of danger, should he ever be in that situation.

Satisfied with her words and Lovino's response, she allowed herself to sleep with her son. It was the best rest she had received in a while.

On December 24, 2002, Jacquelyn Vargas lost her fight with cancer.

At first, Lovino didn't know what was happening. At first, he just thought she hadn't come to pick him up from Antonio's yet. He didn't mind much, spending his day at Antonio's was always fun. However, tomorrow was Christmas, and he wanted to get home so he could go to bed and wait for Santa. If he wasn't home, Santa might completely pass their house and not come this year, which would suck 'cause he had tried his best to be really good.

Antonio, of course, had known Santa wasn't real for a while now. But he wasn't going to ruin the fun for Lovino; besides, it was really cute to watch him talk about what he hoped the fat man would bring.

"I hope Santa brings me a bike," He said, laying on his belly and coloring, "Mama told me she'd have Papa teach me how to ride."

Toni was lying in front of him, coloring as well, "I already know how to ride." He said like the brat he was.

Lovino stuck out his tongue at the elder, "Well why don't you ever ride it?"

"I do, just not when you're around."

"That's stupid. I wanna see you ride."

"Maybe when the snow clears," Antonio smiled and finished his drawing, then pulled it up for Lovino to see. It was a crappily drawn red circle with scribbles decorating the inside and a weird curly thing protruding from the top.

"What is it?" Lovino asked after several minutes of trying to figure it out on his own.

Antonio pouted, "It's a Lovino tomato!"

Lovino nearly burst out laughing, "that doesn't look like me!"

"Yes it does. See?" He pointed to the squiggles in the middle, "you're frowning and blushing!" then he pointed to the curly thing, "and this is your hair thingy!"

He stared intensely at the drawing some more, trying to pick out the qualities that defined it as being "him". He saw absolutely nothing.

"Well, this is what I drew," Lovino held up his own drawing, which was of spaghetti. Looking at it now, he realized it just looked like a ton of swirly lines. He frowned and put it down.

"That looked good!" Antonio said despite the fact it really did not, grabbing a fresh sheet of paper to start a new drawing, "what should I draw now?"

Lovino snorted, "You should try and draw your face."

Antonio nodded, "I'll draw both of us!" and set to work.

Staring at his failed drawing of spaghetti, Lovino reached for a new paper when he heard a car door slam. Finally! His Mama had come to pick him up! Smiling a little, he pushed himself to his feet.

"See you later, Toni!" He called, waving as he walked out of Toni's bedroom. He approached the foyer with a slight bounce to his step, ready to go set out cookies for a man who could probably stand to lose a few pounds.

He stopped about halfway into the open area, staring at the door in perplexity. Instead of his Mama, it was his father standing and waiting to take him home. Adelita stood at the open door, hand covering her mouth in a sign of devastating shock. His father looked strained, like somebody was pushing down on his shoulders with all of their might, and his face was pale. Lovino had never seen his father in such a vulnerable state and he wasn't sure if he wanted to step forward or run away.

He wasn't able to make a decision though, for his father saw him. "Come here, son." He said, offering his hand to the boy. Apprehensively, Lovino stepped forward.

Finally snapping out of her daze, Adelita turned her eyes onto Lovino. They were wet and shining, which confused him even more. What was going on?

"Lovino…" His father started, voice trembling slightly. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Son, your mother is dead."

He heard the words, but they seemed to glide over him. Suddenly, he felt as if the floor he was standing on was shaking, crumbling away. Outwardly, he gave no sign he had even heard his father, so the man spoke again.

"Your mother died today in the hospital."

Dead. That's what his father said, right? He knew what that meant; he could remember the time his Nonno died. He didn't know the man well enough to feel any sorrow though, and this time was different.

A small little ping went off inside his head, as if somebody had dropped a pin. It shot out through his skull, Mama is dead. It echoed continuously, not stopping even when his eyes widened and his little body froze over.

"N-no…" He muttered, refusing to believe it. His mother couldn't be dead. He had seen her just that morning, had kissed her as she left for the day! If she was dead, he would feel it!

His father nodded sadly, fresh tears building in his eyes, "Yes, Lovino."

In the living room, Feliciano started to cry like the putting of a motor that wouldn't start. Adelita, trying to recover from her shock, shuffled to the room to retrieve the child.

Lovino had never been close to his dad. He had barely even exchanged a conversation with the man before, but in that moment, he flung himself at the largely built male. He may not know his father well, but they both shared the pain of losing Jacquelyn, and that was enough. Lovino's cries joined his brother's, and the world seemed to stop for a moment.

When he finally calmed down, he realized he was back in his own bed. He felt numb inside, but on the outside he hurt. His eyes stung, his face was sore, his stomach growled from hunger. He didn't care though. He felt that if he were to even speak, he'd be disturbing his mother's rest.

Shifting, he felt a paper crumple into his arm. Curious, he lifted his blanket to look at it.

There was the drawing of Lovino Tomato.

Christmas went uncelebrated in the Vargas household. Presents remained unopened and laughter remained quiet. Even Feliciano knew to keep silent.

Sometime in the afternoon, after making macaroni, his father simply seemed to give up. Lovino watched with dull eyes as the man snatched his keys and stomped out to the car, eventually speeding away. He would return later that evening smelling strongly of alcohol, and would stumble to the guest bedroom instead of the bedroom he had once shared with Jacquelyn. Lovino, during the time his father had been gone, fed his brother and bathed him. After all, he had made a promise to his mother. That night, he would even pull his brother into his own bed and share body warmth.

That was the day Lovino learned responsibility.

The next morning was almost nostalgic to wake up to. He knew that he shouldn't expect to see his mother sitting at the table when he walked out, yet it was still a shock to see the normally occupied chair empty. He made breakfast for himself, and then went to wake Feliciano and feed him too. He remembered his Mama saying something about how Feliciano couldn't eat tough foods, so he gave the child leftover macaroni noodles. His father got up a few hours later, made himself a cup of coffee, and then disappeared again.

The routine stayed the same for about three days. On the third day, Lovino did get curious. He could remember they had a thing when his Nonno died where they went and viewed the body. Would the same happen with his mother? His answer came the next day when his dad was the one to wake him, and then dress him in clothes he usually wore to fancy occasions. His father was already dressed, though he still reeked, and seemed almost suitable enough to go into public.

Truthfully, Lovino didn't remember much of the next three hours. He remembered refusing to look at his mother, he remembered feeding Feliciano when the toddler started fussing, and he remembered the group of fifty-something townspeople as they stood around his mother's grave. He could remember green eyes shining at him with sorrow, and a warm hand closing itself over his own.