I try not to stare at the men getting ready for the hunt. Oh how I would like to go, but it was foolish to even think that Broud would permit that.

Me and Broud, we've always had a hate/ hate relationship. He hates me, and I hate him for hating me. He has always treated me like I am a lesser being, just because I do not look like the clan. I see him sometimes, even now, watching me when he thinks that no one notices, watching me, with a scowl on his face as if he wishes I would just disappear.

Like my Mama did.

He would not be happy if he knew that I know about her. The woman of the others. As it is, no one is supposed to talk about her. To mention her in his hearing, to say her name near him, would bring about a mad rage, and a beating.

He even tried to hit Brun once, one day when the old man had admonished him for his spite toward me. Brun had mentioned her then. My Mama.

I swear, Broud's eyes flared up like a just lit fire.

He raised his hand to the man of the hearth he was born to.

'Would you hit me Broud?' Brun had motioned, standing calmly in front of him. 'What sort of man lifts his hand to an old man? Especially when that old man is the man of the hearth he was born to and the man is the leader of the clan.'

Broud's hand had hovered in front of Brun's face for a moment, and then he'd scowled, and walked away.

Muttering the name Ayla.

I almost laugh at the memory, a thing I remember my Mama doing, but I just manage to stop myself.

It would be unwise.

'Durc.'

I do not have to look to see who has just said my name. There is only one that says it as if it is an insult.

I look down at the floor as I see his dirty toes appear there.

Looking at the floor, just like a woman submits herself, as a sign of my submission to him.

An act that all the men do now.

'Durc,' he flicks the middle of my forehead with a finger, his sign to me to look at him.

'Yes leader Broud,' I say, the words as usual almost choking me. 'What does my master, the illustrious leader of our clan, want this worthless worm to do?'

He glares at me. 'You did not mention my hunting skill, or how handsome I am,' he motions. 'For that, you will kiss me toes.'

He lifts his foot up.

I stare at it, and then at his face. Of all the indignities he's heaped on me, and other members of the clan, male and female, he had never before told any of us to kiss his toes.

'Do it.'

I look at his big toe, at the dirt encrusted under his nail, and the muck between it and the next toe. At the hairs on it, matted with mud and other things brown.

I shake my head.

Back away.

'Do it,' he motions again. Shoving his foot nearer to my face.

I back away more.

'No,' I grunt.

'No!' he growls. 'Do it,' he motions. 'Do it, do it, do it. Do it or I will get Mog-Ur to curse you with death.'

'I am not afraid of death,' I indicate.

'Well, how about I get him to curse the son of your mate? Or maybe her daughter. How old is she now? She's in her walking year isn't she? I get Mog-Ur to curse her with death, and she'll be a hyena's dinner before the day is finished.

My breathing deepens. I feel anger, and hate welling up inside of me. 'You will not harm any of my hearth,' I say.

'I will do what I want,' he motions, petulantly putting his bottom lip out, but lowering his foot as he's starting to wobble. 'I will curse every member of this clan if I want.'

'Broud,' the Mog-Ur, Goov grunts loudly as he walks over to us. 'No one will be cursed with death,' he indicates.

'But,' he points a finger at me. It's nearly as disgusting as his toes. 'He was rude to me. He deserves to die. His whole hearth do. I mean, look at him, he's not even clan.' One of his legs starts to shake, and he nearly falls, but Goov catches him. 'You need to get ready for the hunt, not argue with Durc. I won't curse anyone, with death or anything else, not today, not ever. It's unlucky, and we've had enough bad luck already.'

'But.'

'Come, I will take you to your hearth. That mate of yours is going to be worrying about you.

'Oga? She's a good woman.'

'Oga was a good woman Broud. But she is dead. You know that. She's been dead for a long time. I'm talking off your second mate, the one you mated after your first clan gathering as leader, Ula.'

'Ula?' He looks confused for a moment.

I almost start to feel sorry for him.

'Yes, Ula.'

'Ula should not worry. She should know her place,' he motions, spitting on the ground. 'I will have to beat her again.'

'No, you need to rest. The hunt's tomorrow, you want to be well rested when it will be the last you lead as our leader.'

He nods and allows Goov to lead him away. But then he looks back at me. 'I might have not got you to kiss me toes,' he sneers. 'But tomorrow, all the men are going hunting, led by me, and you, will stay back here with the women. You should have been born one.'