Disclaimer: I do not profit or intend to profit from anything Final Fantasy, any reference to anything that isn't Final Fantasy that is not my original work, or this fic itself.
Episode 2: No reviews...
Me: Okay, so Episode 1 was published a few days ago, but no reviews!
Zack: Haha!
Me: Shut up! I can't help it!
Zack: Can't help what? That everyone hates your writing?
Me: AGH! [Brings fist up]
Cloud: Hey, weren't we missing somebody last episode?
Me: Who? We got all the main characters here right now.
Aerith: Jenova's son remember? He killed me in the game.
Me: AHHH! Spoiler alert!
Barret: You haven't even finished playing the original game?
Me: No! So shut up!
Zack: Wow! Even I finished the game, and I'm not even in it.
Rydia: I beat it too!
Me: What the hell are you doing here? ! I thought I kicked you out last episode.
Tifa: No you didn't, remember? She totally froze you.
Me: Well I think now's the time she should leave.
Cloud: Noooooo! Please let Rydia stay!
Tifa: So you were serious when you said you love her!
Cloud: Yeah of course.
Tifa: Well don't you love me? I've been your friend since forever.
Cloud: I love you as a friend, sure. But Rydia is HOT!
Rydia: [Blushes]
Tifa: I'm gonna kill you! [Walks up to Rydia and punches her in the face]
Rydia: [Casts firaga on Tifa]
[Guards break up the fight]
Me: Since nobody on FanFiction reviewed this story or asked any of you guys a question, lets take some questions or dares from the audience.
Crowd: [raises hands]
Me: [Points to someone] Please say your name and where you're from please.
Person: My name is Spongebob SquarePants from Bikini Bottom. And my question is for Cloud!
Cloud: Okay
Spongebob: Oh my Neptune! I am such a big fan! Will you go Jelly fishing with me?
Everyone: [Laughs]
Cloud: Ummm... I don't know...
Me: Don't you wanna please your fans?
Cloud: Fine...
Spongebob: Hooray!
[Spongebob and Cloud exit]
Tifa: I hope he gets stung real bad!
Me: Whoa there! I thought you loved him.
Tifa: Not after he started loving that bitch from Final Fantasy IV!
Rydia: What did you call me, you whore?
Tifa: You heard me, you fat skank!
Rydia: Bitch! I will tear your face apart!
Tifa: I'd like to see you try with your small boobs!
Rydia: [looks at chest] Well at least my boobs don't weigh me down, give me back problems, and go past my bellybutton without a bra!
Crowd: OOOOHHHH
Rydia: I bet Cloud would rather masterbate than have sex with you!
Everyone: [Jaw drop]
Me: Okay, I think it's time Rydia leaves.
Tifa: NO! Let her stay, I wanna see her face after I rip it apart.
Me: Guards!
[Guards take Rydia away]
Me: Finally! Back to the original Final Fantasy VII characters.
Zack: Why did you have to take her away? I was enjoying the fight!
Barret: To be honest it is the most interesting thing that's happened on the show so far.
Me: Okay that's enough.
Yuffie: I was waiting for a bitch fight!
Sephiroth: I will kill you all!
Everyone: [Runs and screams]
Sephiroth: [Laughs] I'm just screwing with you guys!
Everyone: [relaxes]
Sephiroth: SIKE! [stabs Me with sword]
Everyone: [Gasps]
Zack: Oh my God! You killed the host! [Runs up and starts fighting Sephiroth]
Barret: Don't worry I have a phoenix down!
Aerith: How come nobody used one on me when Sephiroth killed me?
Barret: Because Square Enix sucks!
Everyone: [Gasps]
Zack: What did you say about our creators?
Sephiroth: Jenova is apart of Square Enix?
Zack: No dumbass!
Yuffie: I am so telling the developers on you, Barret!
Barret: No wait! Please don't! They'll make me die or something!
Aerith: What the hell? Then what made them wanna kill me off? Stupid developers...
Yuffie: Ooh! I'm telling on you too!
Aerith: Go ahead, they killed me once already!
[Yuffie snitches on Aerith and Barret]
Sephiroth: [Unsheathes sword] What's happening? I can't control myself!
[Sephiroth cuts off Aerith and Barret's head]
Crowd: [Gasps]
Sephiroth: Okay c'mon! I know I'm the villain, but how come I always have to kill everyone?
Zack: Blame it on Yuffie, she's the one that snitched.
[Sephiroth kills Yuffie]
Sephiroth: All that's left to kill is the puppy!
Zack: Oh sh- -!
[Sephiroth kills Zack]
Sephiroth: Yes! I have killed everyone! Haha!
[Cloud walks in with many jellyfish stings]
Cloud: Oh my God, everyone's dead!
[Cloud notices Sephiroth killed everyone]
Cloud: Hey Sephiroth, I think I saw Jenova down at Jellyfish Fields.
Sephiroth: Jenova? MOTHER!
[Sephiroth runs out, and Cloud uses a Phoenix Down on everyone]
Everyone: Thanks Cloud.
Me: So how was jellyfishing?
Cloud: Stupid King Jellyfish attacked me. Then Spongebob blew a bubble shaped like a pie and King Jellyfish ran off with it.
Barret: How did you breathe underwater?
Cloud: I couldn't at first, but this squirrel named Sandy or whatever gave me a diving suit.
Me: Sounds like a pretty weird place to be.
Zack: I know, sponges and squirrels that live underwater, jelly fishing. What's next? Every fish in Bikini Bottom driving cars?
Spongebob: They're boats, Mr. Fair.
[Silence]
Me: Okay, well I just received a dare from a local friend. Her name is Chirsty, and her dare is for Cloud.
Cloud: Why is it always me?
Me: She said she dares you to do IT with her.
Crowd: [Laughs]
Cloud: Dammit, not again...
Tifa and Yuffie: Again? !
Cloud: Whatever, I'm used to it.
[Cloud exits]
Me: Okay readers, how about we ask questions to other characters. Thanks. Well that's all the time we have today. I'm your host, Jonathan, and this is...
Everyone: The Advent Children Show!
I'd like to thank my friend Christy for being the first to read and asking Cloud her question or dare, or whatever it is. Thanks! :D
