A/N: I just want to say that I have never gotten such an overwhelming response so soon upon posting a piece; you guys make it all worthwhile, and as fans, I couldn't let us suffer the way Bioware did. I have also noticed that 75% of the response, between reviews and PM's, has asked that I continue, so for you guys – I will. I need more Shenko!

Since it is being continued, the title is undergoing a bit of an alteration. This story is now "Decisions and Visions".

Disclaimer: Don't own it, but right now, kind of wish I did. All rights reserved to Bioware.


In the days that passed since the Reapers had retreated through Mass Relays, Shepard spent hours talking with Hackett and going over the details of the final hour. The Normandy remained docked at the Citadel where Liara, EDI, and Tali spent most of their waking hours bringing the large space station city back to its former glory; they had managed to return most of it to the way it was before, but many of the remaining races were hesitant to return. Especially since it remained watching over the Earth; most of the races had never had an affinity for the humans, but in the wake of Reaper's attack, there was no denying that a human had saved them, among the mass causalities they'd received in the final assault getting Shepard to the conduit beam in London.

Yet they could not deny it – without Shepard, without the humans, they all would have perished under the Reaper's assault.

Kaidan wished Shepard would accept that it was over but she continued to have Hackett's ear down on Earth, going over every detail, determined to make sure they hadn't missed something. Shepard was sure they had; you don't just overload the console and programming of such a race, AI or not. That was what she had told him, before she'd commanded a shuttle to Earth. That was merely days after the Doc had cleared her to leave the Med Bay, though she was ordered back for physical therapy once a day – cybernetic implants or not, she was lucky to have her hands.

He took the shuttle to Earth with her, but she was oddly distant. Distracted. Besides their reunion in the Normandy's medical bay, they hadn't a moment alone. Every time he came to her quarters before Earth, she was never there. EDI always informed him she was in the War Room.

The war was over, though most of the Galaxy was in pieces, trying to rebuild, but it was over. Cerberus was over. He and Shepard had finally moved past Horizon, and he could remember that night before the raid on Cerberus HQ, just as vividly as he remembered the night before Ilos.

Kaidan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning back against the wall. How long had she and Hackett been talking this time? Two hours at least, he was sure. Most of those who had been waiting for Shepard or the Admiral had left the reception room of their makeshift Alliance Navy HQ in the remnants of London. Kaidan refused to budge. Shepard had been dodging him long enough and damn it all, he was not going to let the woman he'd loved for years continue to do this to herself.

The doors opened, Hackett and Shepard making their way out.

"Listen Shepard, I know the last few weeks have been hell, but you did everything right. The Reapers are gone."

"I know that, but the Catalyst said I had to die and the Mass Effect technology had to be destroyed for it to work. The relays are fine, as is the Citadel. I am alive; I just…I feel like it isn't over yet." Kaidan watched as she emphatically waved her bandaged hands, though he noticed she was still experiencing stiffness in her fingers.

"You hardly came out unscathed, Commander, as we all did. You took control of the Reapers, correct?" She nodded. "What were your orders?"

"I told them to leave…" Her eyes dipped to the ground, before widening slightly and dancing back up to the older man's face. "I thought 'leave forever'."

The Admiral saluted her, which she quickly did her best to return. "Then I have no doubt you have done all you can. Now, take some time off, Shepard. You deserve it. The next time we speak will be at the ceremony."

"Aye aye, Admiral."

"Dismissed." The Admiral turned and made his way past where Kaidan was waiting, the Major offering a salute as the old man walked past, no doubt making his way to the communication center. Though the war was over, there was still much to be done – as Hackett had said.

Shepard sighed and rolled her shoulders, leaning her head to crack her neck. "Anvi," she nearly jumped when she heard his voice, but she simply stiffened and turned to face him. "Major Alenko. What are you doing here?"

She looked nervous, almost as if she were uncomfortable being around him; vaguely a thought occurred, but he pushed it aside. "I wanted to speak with you, Anvi. If we could dispense of the formalities…I think we're past them at this point anyway."

There was that slight smirk he'd come to love so much. "Alright, Kaidan," she folded her arms, "what can I do for you?"

Kaidan glanced around and then moved toward her, frowning slightly when she almost pulled away on reflex when he folded her into his arms. He kissed the top of her hair and felt relieved when she sighed, unfolding her arms and leaning into him, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist. "I'm here for you, Shepard. I've been trying to get a moment with you." He felt suddenly defensive, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking down into her face, which was still cutely dotted in freckles and had a few scars from the recent battle for their existence. Her silver-blue eyes looked up at him, dancing over his face; did she look worried? "Shepard, why have you been avoiding me?"

"Kaidan…" There was that tone he didn't like; afraid, uncertain…a tone he rarely heard from her. The last time had been their reluctant goodbyes. They had not been certain they would make it back alive; it had been the hardest talk of his life. He'd lost of her once; he made damn sure she knew he wouldn't lose her again. "This isn't really the place to talk about this…"

He cupped her face in his hands and leaned down, kissing her hard. She tried to pull back but he slid his fingers into her hair and slipped his tongue between her lips, effectively turning her to butter in his arms. Her bandaged hands cupped his face in return and she gave a small moan as the kiss deepened, and became more heated. He groaned, and pulled back, nipping her lip before looking into her heated eyes, that always darkened to a deep blue when he kissed her. "Then you had better be in your cabin when I come by this evening, Anvi." Not giving her time to respond, he kissed her again and pulled away. "I mean it. We've been through too much for you not to trust me."

"Alright, Kaidan. Tonight then."


Shepard was pacing her cabin, after having told EDI to lock the door and let her know if someone were to request permission to enter; she didn't want to see anyone right now, admittedly, not even Kaidan. And that pained her. She sighed and plopped onto the edge of her bed, setting her elbows on her knees and hanging her head. Why did this have to happen now of all times? Finally they were at peace but she felt ever more restless, even guiltier, and like she'd failed. The Reapers were gone, so she hadn't failed.

Her dreams had haunted her all throughout this mission. Of the little boy she couldn't save, the millions on Earth she couldn't save, of Mordin, Legion, and…Thane. That had hurt the worst. He'd been important to her. She had almost let herself love him, but instead wanted to stay loyal to Kaidan…even if he seemed like he wanted nothing to do with her after Horizon. Thane had died helping her. As everyone tended to do. Her crew, her friends, had risked themselves to save her from the Catalyst when all that was needed was her life to save the Galaxy.

To Shepard, it seemed a fair trade. Her life for the remainder of Galactic life. That was before…

"Shepard. Major Alenko is requesting admittance to your cabin. Shall I allow him in?" EDI's voice filtered through the com in her room and Shepard sighed.

It was now or never, and he needed to know. She had been avoiding him and this wasn't something she should be allowed to keep from him, not when it was piled high on top of so much guilt she already felt for being alive. All her life she had survived. While almost everyone around her died. But this…

"Shepard? Is something amiss?"

"Ah, no, sorry EDI. Lost in thought. Let Kaidan in please." She lifted her head, but she remained seated on the edge of the bed as the door hissed and opened, allowing Kaidan to walk in. He glanced around for a moment, but then walked down the three steps when he saw her sitting on the bed.

"Anvi, are you okay?" He was looking at her, warm amber eyes appearing genuinely worried.

"Kaidan…I'm sorry."

He sighed and smiled. "Don't you think it's about time you stopped apologizing?"

"Maybe you're right," she laughed softly and looked down at her bandaged hands; her life had always been hard, she was a soldier damn it all, but now she could barely hold a gun, much less shoot one. She was suddenly feeling…out of her element, even with Hackett having had her play politician for most of this war. "We need…we need to talk, Kaidan."

"It's never a good thing when a woman says we need to talk," Kaidan grumbled, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the wall.

Shepard's eyes widened slightly – he thinks this is a break up talk! Nice going Shepard!

"No, no, Kaidan, it's not like that." Shepard jumped to her feet and walked toward him, placing her hand on his chest, right above his heart. She looked up into his slightly concerned expression, smiling and lifting a hand to run a fingertip across his lips but stopped when she saw the bandages. He unfolded his arms and caught her hand, kissing the bandaged fingertips.

"Do they still hurt?" He asked softly, pressing both hands to his chest and holding them there with his own.

"A little now and then, but Doc tells me it's probably phantom pains." His brows raised and she chuckled, moving up on her toes to kiss his lips softly. He frowned in protest when she pulled away. "I remember the pain of the controls burning my skin off…she says that is probably what causes the phantom pains."

"Must have been bad…" He lifted a hand and brushed it over her purple strands. "I never did ask why you dyed your hair."

She blinked, then laughed softly, turning her head to press a kiss to the palm of his hand, much like he had on the Citadel when they had decided to start a relationship again. "I was bored – mostly. Even Anderson said I was getting soft around the edges." Her expression fell slightly at the lingering memory of Anderson's death at the hands of the Illusive Man. Not that she hadn't made him pay for it; just like she stabbed that son of a bitch, Kai Leng, she made sure to put an end to the Illusive Man.

"Bored?" He chuckled and shook his head softly, avoiding the topic of their old friend for the moment; it seemed Shepard had enough to think about besides that. "You were always such an odd one when you weren't Commander Shepard."

"That's a bad thing?"

"Of course not, I love you, Anvi. For everything that you are, have been, and will be." They kissed again, sweetly, softly, but she pulled away before it became more than that.

"Kaidan…"

"Well, you said we needed to talk. What is it, Anvi? Why have you been avoiding me?" He wrapped her up in his arms and she listened to his heart beating beneath her ear; strong, rapid…alive. He was alive. She was alive. It was more than she could have ever hoped for, but she had no idea how he would react to this.

"Kaidan, I love you. I never stopped. I longed for you every moment we were separated and even after Horizon, I couldn't let you go." She sighed softly and lifted her head, putting her fingertips against his lips when he moved to say something. "I…we just figured things out. After all these years, we are finally…well, you know. I wasn't sure how you would react…especially given what nearly became of me."

"Anvi?" He was staring at her, almost confused now.

"Doc told me before I left the Med Bay."

"Told you what?" His brows dropped and he gripped her hands tightly now. "Is something wrong?"

She was quiet for what seemed like forever. Eyes intently looking into his own as if to predict his reaction. The last thing she wanted was to push him away; never again. "Kaidan…I'm pregnant."


A/N: Thoughts? Had this idea brewing for a bit. Before I get lectured for how she got knocked up being half cybernetic from her rebuilding during the Lazarus Project, I already thought about that. It will be explained if people want me to continue. =)