AN: Hey all! Thanks for the kind reviews, views, etc. Hope you all are enjoying the story!
Chapter 1
Buffy Anne Summers didn't want to admit that she was in pain.
But damn did purgatory suck. She wasn't even really sure what she expected after jumping into the portal. Somewhere in her mind, she thought that maybe she'd reunite with her mother and grandparents and enjoy some kind of fairytale heaven her mother used to tell her about. The other half of her mind figured it would be nothing. Just dead. No thoughts. No feelings. Nothing.
But this level of nothingness... This was maddening.
In heaven you'd have the clarity of your life, with the gift of accepting it and making peace with it. Here in limbo, and Buffy guessed in Hell as well, you were cursed with the clarity of life and tortured by it. You're trapped craving for all the good things you had in life, and swallowed by the painful parts. Buffy could live with knowing her parent's divorce wasn't her fault. She couldn't deal with knowing how many times she brushed Dawn off to hang out with her friends. She could accept her mother's death, knowing she was somewhere away from here, but she couldn't get over the amount of people she bullied at Hemery High. And in the middle of it all, the one thing that stood out was her relationship with Angel. How was she to know that allowing him to take her blood was a sign of vampyric matehood? Angel, whether he knew or was dazed in his poisoned mind, had marked her. Oh, she'd been bitten before, many times, but they had all healed. All except Angel's. And now she knew why.
And God did it burn to know that he marked her and then left. He marked her and her body accepted the mating, and that wasn't convincing enough to stay?
And then when she went to L.A. and that Mohra demon turned him human... he still turned back time. He still wrote their future off.
Here, wherever the hell she was, thoughts of leaving her friends and sister behind haunted her most… but Angel came in a very close second.
And then one day, all of a sudden, the darkness was gone and the ache in her chest dimmed considerably. Buffy blearily opened her eyes and looked around. After what felt like years of keeping her eyes shut, in a futile attempt to deny where she was, everything seemed so… bright.
"What's happening?" she croaked, her hand immediately flying to her neck. The stretch of her unused vocal chords was grating.
"Finally," someone huffed. "If I had to hear one more thought about that silly vampire-"
"Now, now, brother," another voice laughed. "That silly vampire is her mate. Do well to respect the bond."
"What's happening?" Buffy asked again, her voice only slightly louder.
"Can you see us, slayer?" Buffy looked up at the two beings standing on either side of her body. Their skin was gold, breaking off into blue lines every so often. When she nodded, they both smiled. "We are the Oracles, servants of the Powers that Be. We are sorry to have kept you in Limbo for so long, slayer."
"You put me in limbo?"
"Against our own desires," the male one assured her. "We wanted to deliver you to heaven. The Powers were convinced that you still had work to do, however."
"Great. Here I thought I was gonna get a good night's sleep for the first time in- how long have I been dead?"
"Not dead, slayer," he stated. "More like… suspended. And as you know, time is of no consequence here. It does not flow in the same way it does on Earth. In fact it barely even exists at all."
She groaned and rolled over, allowing the other oracle to help her up. When she was finally at eye level with them, she narrowed her eyes in suspicion and irritation. "What do you want from me now? I did my job. I slayed and then I died. Someone takes over now. Night-night to Buffy! Can't I catch the last train to Heavensville?"
"Unfortunately not," she heard the female respond. "You are needed, slayer. By your mate."
"My mate," Buffy murmured sadly. "My mate doesn't need me. He made that perfectly clear."
The Brother laid a hand on her shoulder. "Your mate is a fool," he told her bluntly. Buffy snorted. "He did not seem to realize that your destinies were entwined from the start. I will admit, he did care very much for your safety… a fool nonetheless, but my sister is right. You are needed."
"What does good old Angel need from me?" she sighed, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"Besides relief from the eternal grief he is destined to suffer his entire life?" Buffy didn't appreciate the teasing tone that the Sister oracle was using.
"He's suffering? How long has it been down there? He can't still be grieving over me…"
"Apparently this side of the matehood is foolish as well," she heard the other mutter.
"Now, Buffy," the Sister began. "I urge that you keep your emotions under control when I tell you news of your mate."
The slayer definitely didn't like the sound of that.
"For a period of time, Angel was… rather lost. Wolfram & Hart, an organization run by terrible powers, have been meddling with his life from the moment he stepped foot in the City of Angels. As an attempt to bring him down, they resurrected his sire in human form."
Buffy felt the ache in her chest return. "Darla?"
"Indeed," the Brother answered. "Angel did his best to cope with the situation, but Wolfram & Hart knew how to play their games. Darla was turned into a vampire and Angel's hopes of putting her on a better path were destroyed. He spiraled out of control in his vengeance, going so far as to allow Darla and Drusilla to slaughter many of the Wolfram & Hart-"
"Drusilla?!"
"Yes, Drusilla was the one to turn Darla," the Sister informed her. "Angel lost his vision, and…"
"You're hesitating," Buffy whined. "Hesitation is bad. Why are you hesitating?"
The Sister turned to her counterpart. He sighed. "In hopes of ridding himself with the burden of his assumed failure, Angel came to know Darla once more."
Buffy's nose wrinkled in confusion. "Came to- Oh my god, what is this, the bible? Are you telling me Angel had sex with that bitch?"
"Yes."
She didn't know what to say. "I… that... That idiot! What was he thinking? He purposefully set Angelus loose?!"
"You saw him at your mother's funeral, did you not? He was not Angelus then."
Buffy gaped at them. "But… the moment of pure happiness."
"He did not have it."
She shook her head. "What are you talking about, that's-"
"He did not love Darla. Not like he loved you. And realizing his errors, he sent Darla away and reunited with the ties he once cut."
"Cordy. And Wes?"
"Among others. But his actions did have consequences, and a prophecy was fulfilled."
Buffy looked heavenward. "Prophecy, eh? Should have known a prophecy would rear its ugly head into this. So what happened next, Goldy?"
The Brother smirked at the term. "Darla conceived and, redeeming herself, gave her life for her child's in birth."
In all her time in limbo, she never felt a pain quite like this. "Angel had a child?" The jealousy was overwhelming. Angel had a child. And it wasn't with her. It was with his evil sire whom he tried to rejoin for a whole new reign of terror.
"Your sadness is palpable," he sighed.
"How could he not tell me?"
The man let out a genuine laugh. "You were dead, slayer."
Buffy scowled. "I mean about the rest! I could have helped him or- or something! Anything!"
"Was it not your own words that urged him to move on and forget?"
"Well yeah, because I thought that's what he wanted! He turned back a whole day and let go of a future we could have had together!"
The Oracles looked at each other. "That was not his intention," the Sister reassured her gently. "We are getting slightly off track, slayer."
"Right. Darla. Baby. Redemption. Continue, please. I'd love to hear more about my mate's love life."
The Brother's lips curled upwards. He liked this one. "In the midst of his grief for you, he was gifted with the joy of his son, but as always, there was a catch. The child is prophesized to destroy a powerful demon known as Sahjhan. He is wanted by many sanctions, groups, and demons, including Wolfram & Hart. Right now, Angel's biggest threat is another from his past. Daniel Holtz, a demon hunter who struck a deal with Sahjhan. Holtz waited two hundred years to exact his revenge on your mate, which Sahjhan hopes is the death of Connor."
"Connor?"
"Angel's son."
Buffy couldn't stop the small smile that stretched across her face. "Connor…" What a beautiful name.
The Sister took her free hand. "Understand, slayer, that time here, as we said, really has no place. We can go backwards and forwards as we please."
"And?"
"And we want to take you to the exact moment that Holtz kidnaps Connor and takes him into a hell dimension known as Quor'toth."
"What? Uhm, how about you make things less complicated and just stop Holtz?"
The male smiled wryly. "We can only interfere so much. That is the way of the Powers. Otherwise, life would be much easier to live, don't you think?"
"Wait a second. But doing this- keeping me in suspension, has that not affected the portal I was meant to close? My blood was supposed to stop."
"And it did stop. You did die, for all intents and purposes. Your blood stopped in your realm, and began again in this one, as it will in Quor'toth."
Buffy looked away. "What if I don't choose this?"
The Brother crossed his arms and looked into her eyes. "Then we send you to heaven, where you will experience bliss beyond your imagination before your supposed friends tear you out and you wake within your coffin, confused and alone. You'll eventually recover, you will have your sister at your side again… there are still dark foes on that journey, however… one being your friend Willow who will be consumed by the dark magic she would use to resurrect you."
"That… is so not with the goodness."
"If it makes you feel better they think you are trapped in Glorificus' hell dimension."
"So instead of heaven or Glory's hell, I get thrown into Quor'toth?"
"The darkest of dark worlds."
Buffy's jaw dropped. "Are you serious? The darkest of dark worlds? That's your catchphrase on the brochure for Quor'toth? Why in god's golly green heavens would I want to go there?"
She felt the Sister's hand tighten around hers. "Because you have the chance to save your mate's child and raise him as your own. Without you, Connor's life is bleak and ridden with darkness. He returns from Quor'toth filled with hatred against your mate and could very well destroy the world with his rage."
She bit her lip, nodding slowly. "You're sure about this?"
"We are."
"I'll do it."
The Sister Oracle smiled. "We knew you would."
"On one condition."
The Brother rolled his eyes. "That being?"
"If I'm supposed to find Connor and help him… raise him… then I fully plan on being a part of Angel's life again."
"That is your condition? Permission to be with the vampire?"
"No. My condition is that you make his soul permanent."
He frowned angrily. "That is a request motivated by a human, selfish need."
"I'm human. I'm selfish. Sue me. In fact, I think I have the right to be that way after you two left me in purgatory, or do you disagree? Angel deserves this. You know that even with a permanent soul that he'll keep fighting the good fight. It'll encourage him harder. What with the 'oh I don't deserve this!' wah, wah nonsense he always spews."
He bared his teeth but nodded all the same. "Your wish will be granted."
Buffy grinned triumphantly. "Good. Now take me to Quor'toth. Not the day of… give me a week or so before it. I need to scope the place out. Find somewhere for Connor and I to live… make a game plan. See what baddies are there. I do hope you're providing me with weapony things, sleeping bags, clothes maybe…"
"We are in debt to you, slayer. As are the Powers."
"Aren't they always? Make good on your promise and then we can forget icky words like 'debt'. Just… just one question."
"Anything."
"Will Connor and I get home?"
The Brother cleared his face of emotion. "That is a road you must journey down and find, slayer. We see all possible futures. We do not know which ones come to pass."
"Ugh. Jeez, you sound like a fortuneteller. Well, come on then. Let's do this. And while we're at it, tell me everything I need to know about what's happened. And I mean everything."
Somewhere in Buffy's heart was a dim hope that Quor'toth wouldn't be as bad as limbo. Maybe the hell dimension was just a vast wasteland with roaming demons but certain livable areas that would allow her to take care of a baby. And then she got to Quor'toth and holy hell was it terrible. She certainly didn't feel the eternal torment she did in purgatory. She wasn't suspended in nothingness, at least, but Quor'toth lived up to its name.
It took her a full day to find a cave that was… semi-welcoming, and six more to wipe out as many demons as she could in a five hundred foot radius. Sooner than she realized, she garnered a reputation that made demons stay away from her cave and its surroundings. Much to her disgust, Buffy used the rest of her days taking blood from the fallen demons and lining out her new safe zone. The demons would pick up the scent and hopefully take it as a warning, but she needed the barrier hard to see for humans, in case she couldn't take this Holtz guy down. No need to make her home more visible than it already was.
And when she was done, and finally able to sit down and rest in her cave until Connor came, she was overcome with fear and the realization of what she was doing. She agreed to take care of a child. She somehow agreed to take care of a child. A child that belonged to Angel and his friggin' evil sire.
What in God's name was she thinking?! She was a twenty-year old, dead girl! She couldn't take care of a child! She could barely take care of herself, not to mention the fact that she was still recovering from her terrible afterlife experience! What could she possible offer to a baby?
"Oh my god," she muttered. "Connor's gonna be a basket case and it's gonna be all my fault… Angel's gonna hate me. What the hell am I gonna do…"
Her self-doubting, pity party didn't last long as thunder clapped and ear-piercing static echoed through her cave. She stumbled to her feet and scrambled out. A mile or two away, on a rocky cliff top, she could see the start of a storm. Buffy gathered all her courage and confidence before grabbing an axe and racing to the cliff. As she got closer, the storm ripped the sky open and the portal finally became visible.
"Come on," she growled at herself, pushing her body to the limit as she forced herself up the steep ascent.
She was a few yards away when she heard it.
"What you're looking into is the Quor'toth. The darkest of the dark worlds."
"This place needs a better phrase on its welcome sign."
"So, I can widen the portal and you can all be swallowed up by a world you can't begin to imagine… or you can keep your word and kill that child."
Buffy almost halted in her step. "Connor!" she shouted, speeding up as she neared the portal.
"Now!... Don't say I didn't warn you."
"Kill it."
"No!"
Buffy's heart clenched tightly. "Angel! Angel can you hear me?! Angel, I'm here!"
"Daniel!"
"No!"
"Daniel!"
"No! NO!"
Buffy gripped the axe tightly. "Holtz," she whispered.
As the man flew through the portal, Buffy's eyes on him, she didn't notice the bolt of lightening that shot out towards her. It struck her shoulder and threw her back against the rocky wall. A stinging throb on her spine blinded her momentarily before she was on her feet once more. She ran forward as the portal closed and swore quietly. Her first plan was to grab the baby and jump right back through, but she could see that that would no longer work.
Holtz, the man the Oracles told her of, was on the ground, cradling a crying baby in his arms. He looked around alertly before his eyes settled on her. Buffy watched him clamber to his feet. "Stay back. I have a gun."
Her brow rose challengingly. "Do you? Because I have an axe and I heard a fancy little rumor that Earth goodies don't work here."
He grimaced. "Well I didn't have a gun to start… but you would really harm a man and his newborn son? You don't seem the type."
Buffy shrugged. "I don't plan on hurting him, whatsoever. You, however, I need to have words with, Daniel Holtz."
"…You know me. Did Sahjhan send you?"
"No, I have a much bigger bone to pick with that jerkwad. Seriously? Changing the words of the prophecy and making it seem like- you know what, I'll deal with that later," she stated nonchalantly. "No the Powers that Be sent me. Ever heard of them? They aren't very happy with you for dealing with Sahjhan… a demon lord."
Holtz glared at her. "What would you know of my mission? I made a deal with Sahjhan to kill the Scourge of Europe. Surely, your powers would see the upside?"
"Well, they would, if the Scourge of Europe was still evil. Or did you not notice that he's all soulful and good now? You just messed with one of the PTB's greatest champions, Danny. And they want some retribution." She paused. "Okay, maybe I'm the one that wants the retribution part."
"And who are you?"
Buffy grinned. "Buffy Summers. The vampire slayer. And Angel? He's my mate."
"A vampire slayer mated to a vampire?"
"He's no ordinary vampire, and I'm no ordinary vampire slayer for that matter."
Holtz, knowing he could be easily overpowered, played the same game he did with Angel just minutes ago. He brought his hand to Connor's neck threateningly. "And what do you supposed you'll do now, vampire slayer? I can kill him before you even take a step forward."
A flash of fury shone in Buffy's eyes. "You coward. You would take an innocent child and bring him into this conflict? How dare you…"
"It was the best revenge."
"Then you're no better than Angelus."
That struck a chord within the man visibly. "I set this child down, and you and I talk about this like adults. How about that?"
"No yes, let's just set a defenseless baby on the ground in a hell dimension overrun with demons," Buffy noted sarcastically. She sighed and looked around. The place looked clear. "Here," she directed. "Put him between us and then we can talk."
"Why should I trust you?"
"Hm, maybe because I'm not a baby-kidnapping bastard who likes using innocent bystanders as means of revenge."
Holtz glared at her once more before gently setting Connor on the ground between them. "And your axe. Put it down as well."
"Fine," she agreed. "But I don't want any funny business from you." He raised his hands in the air to prove his complacency. Satisfied, Buffy walked forward and made to put her axe down next to the baby. She kept her eyes on the man as she bent down.
The moment her fingers released the weapon and she saw him nod it satisfaction, she swiftly picked the axe up once more and connected the flat end of it against his face. He stumbled back with a cry of pain.
"Well, I didn't say there wouldn't be any funny business from me," she explained as she struck him again. He fell to the ground, unconscious. Before her guilt could stop her, she took a rope tucked into her back pocket and bound his wrists behind his back. "Sorry, Holtz," she whispered sadly. "But I can't risk you coming after us. You gotta understand, if I don't do this to you, Connor'll get all messed up. At least he has a chance this way."
She turned back to the baby, and her features softened even further. Gentler than she thought possible, she picked the boy up and examined him for injury. Connor finally quieted and stared up at her in wonder. "Oh man," she murmured. "You're just like your daddy, huh? Sweeping me off my feet with one look?"
Connor reached his tiny fingers up and tried to touch her cheek. She craned her neck downwards, allowing her lips to lovingly kiss his soft skin.
"I'm gonna take care of you, Con," she promised. "I promise. And I'll get you back to daddy, okay?"
She sat with him a few minutes longer before getting up and looking at her cave in the distance.
"Can you hear us, slayer?" she heard a voice in her head call. Buffy recognized it to be the Brother oracle.
"Loud and clear, Goldy. How are you doing that? I thought you couldn't get into this dimension? Stuck on Earthly plains and what not?"
"Indeed, we are, but we have managed to breach through the barrier somewhat. The cave you made home is no longer safe. It's much too close to the portal opening. Holtz will no doubt search there first."
"Well can't you put the whammy around it?" she asked exasperatedly. "So much for heavenly powers when you can't do squat!"
"… We believe we can fulfill that request, slayer. Demons and humans alike will not be able to find it, but it is not impermeable. Do your best to formulate a course of action, slayer. Get away from here as soon as you can."
"Trust me, Goldy," she muttered as she started her trek back to the cave. "I'm not planning on staying in this dimension for much longer than I need to."
