Everything you recognize belongs to the brilliant SM I have simply borrowed without express permission
Am I moving forward or going in reverse?
Does time stand still
Does the world spill
Is it pouring out
From the fount
Where does this knowledge flow
Where did my memories go
x
"What are you writing about?"
I shook out my cramping hand and looked up as Claire and her Pack cronies plopped down around me at our usual spot. I'm sure other people would have sat with us. Claire was popular because she was nice to literally everyone and there wasn't a person on the planet who didn't want to cozy up to the Pack besides me.
But they took up plenty of space and I gave off a seriously icy forcefield that protects me from the general populace so our table was empty save for the four of us. Honestly, it was still a little crowded for my taste.
"Jesus did you boys get enough food?" "Probably not." Brady shook his damp hair out of his face as he looked at his humongous pile of pizza and then over at Collin's double decker sub with an entire bag of chips and a liter of soda to wash it all down. Claire had a salad. Seriously. A salad.
My stomach rumbled and growled. Luckily the storm that had been brewing all morning gave a thunderous crash and covered it up.
"Did you eat already?" "Yeah. Ya'll take forever."
Claire's eyes narrowed as she looked at me. I hate when she does that. She's always looking at me like she's trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Well, good luck to her. If she figures it out I hope she let's me know because I haven't had any luck myself.
I'm just an average teenager with average teenage problems.
I hate school and I hate that we moved away from my home and my dad and everything I knew to come to stupid little La Push. There's nothing even remotely great about La Push. Makah was so much better. My dad is still there. It's only like an hour away. Why did we have to move at all? Why couldn't they just work out their stupid little problems and let me stay in my home?
But parents don't really care what their teenage daughters want. They don't care if they're going to ruin their teenage daughter's life by uprooting them and moving to a stupid little reservation that's just like home but isn't home because it's missing something very important.
I miss my dad. He's so close. But in two years he hasn't come to see me. I asked if I could see him on weekends and he kept making excuses and mom made excuses. Eventually I stopped asking.
"Claire, stop staring at me and eat your rabbit food." "Hey, be nice to Claire-Bear." "Brady, don't be gross." "What?" "Only Quil can get away with calling her that and even then it makes me want to gag." "Why are you so grumpy?" "I'm always a bitch. You should be used to it by now." "You're usually nicer after you eat." "Deal with it." "You didn't eat, did you? Did you forget your lunch?" "So what?" "Do you want to share with me?"
The world seemed to narrow and we all went silent. Collin turned red under the russet of his native bronze as we stared at him. I had expected such an offer from Claire, she was always trying to save everybody. But Collin?
First of all, the Pack doesn't share food. Second, the younger boyd inhaled food like it was their last meal before execution. Third, we're not friends.
So where had that come from?
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.
"What? Either you want a bite of my sandwich or you don't but don't act like I just tried to poison you." " How do I know you aren't trying to poison me?" He took a large bite of his sub as proof.
Then he showed me a big mouth full of half-chewed food.
"That's completely disgusting." "I take it back. You can't have any of my sandwich." "I sit next to you in our next three classes." "No. You're mean." "I was all prepared to go without food. Now I have to have food. It's all your fault. Feed me." "No, I don't think I will."
"Would you two stop flirting already. Here, have some pizza so I can eat in peace."
"I am not flirting with Collin." That was so disgusting. How could Brady even say that? EWWWWWwwwwwwww
"I'm not flirting with her." "What's that supposed to mean?"
I mean, I'm not ugly. I'm not a cheerleader, that's for dang sure. But I'm not fat and my skin is actually really pretty and clear. My figure is soft and curvy and I'm an average 5'5". My hair is long and soft and black as a raven's wing when I don't add streaks of color to it. My eyes are storm-cloud grey and turn to ice when I'm mad. The stories of my people call them "ghost eyes" and say I speak to the dead. My mother named me after the great spirits because of my eyes.
Those eyes were icy and narrowed on Collin right now. His blush returned and he started to stutter. What exactly did you say to that glare? How did you respond to a death glare aimed directly at you?
Apparently you stuck your foot further in your mouth and tried to choke yourself.
"I would never flirt with someone like you. I just couldn't. You know?" "Um, no. No I'm afraid you're gonna have to explain that one to me." My brows arch so gracefully when I'm mad and my arms were crossed over my chest, accentuating my ample curves and showing off my "I'm gonna punch you" muscles at the same time.
Brady was grinning so I thought about smacking him too. Claire was trying desperately to think of a way to diffuse the tension and coming up with a blank. Her eyes were shifting worriedly back and forth between the two of us.
"You know, someone who...Brady, man, help me out." "Oh, no you are so on your own here." "Out with it. What makes me so disgusting that you're so out of my league?"
My foot was tapping now. He was sweating bullets and then he started to shake. Was he trembling in terror? That was pretty damn good. But I was getting really pissed off now. I didn't ask for this. Not for any of it. I just wanted to go back home and live my life the way I wanted to without a bunch of people trying to control me. I just wanted the freedom to be me.
"I'm waiting and I'm losing patience so hurry up." "Jesus Christ, I was just trying to be polite and feed your stupid ass and this is the thanks I get. Fuck you Song. Go blow a goat!" "Cool it Collin."
Suddenly Brady was holding Collin back and everyone was standing and staring. The whole cafeteria had eyes on us and Claire had her phone to her ear. Brady was trying to pull Collin out the back door. But they weren't escaping that easily. No way in hell.
I jumped up and planted myself in the way.
"Who do you think you are to talk to me like that? Apologize." "Make me little girl." "You are begging for a beating." "Collin, calm down. Get out of the way Amaya." "Not until he apologizes." "He's sorry. Now move, please."
