A/N: Okay, I didn't put a disclaimer or any author notes at the start because, well, this is we know you don't own any of this stuff. There's author's notes this time because I felt the following chapter was a bit "serious". Really it's not... none of this is.
Thanks for the interest and review(s). Enjoy!
Back at his base, Zim was spying furiously on his Dib. All night would be spent surveilling him. He was thankful that Irken technology meant that he could even watch the boy sleeping.
He sighed a long, high pitched sigh, clasping his fingers together and resting his head upon them. His antennae quivered slightly as he watched the Dib human turn to face the camera he didn't know was even looking at him.
"Oh my big-headed Dib," he murmured, dark pink eyes dragging him closer to the screen."Were you mine, I'd always take care of you..."
GIR appeared in the doorway then, carrying a stuffed toy of some description, as GIR (apparently) tends to do.
"I'm yours, Master," the little robot pointed out, having one of his more intelligent moments. "And you usually don't care what I do."
"And I'm yours," the computer piped up. "And you pretty much just yell at me and make me look up useless stuff."
Zim turned from the screen, body tensed in anger, or maybe angst.
"Silence!" he yelled at his mechanical servants. "This is different!" He pointed at the image on the screen; Dib was covering himself up with his blanket. "This is my one true love!"
"But Master --"
"SHUT UP!" The Irken kicked his chair, a big mistake, since he caught the chair at a bad angle and stubbed his toe. "Owowow! You don't understand me!" He stomped his foot. "None of you do!" he added in a low voice.
"Zim, this is weird," the computer said, honest as always. "I mean, you're always weird but this is completely out of character, even for you."
The invader took his place back in the seat that had so cruelly injured him earlier. "You just don't get it," he said, instructing the camera to look beyond the covers. "You just don't get it."
At Skool the following morning, Zim left a gift on his beloved's desk. This would surely get his attention! Running giggling stupidly back to his own seat, he waited, fidgeting endlessly until Dib entered the classroom and walked over to his seat, making sure to walk widely around the green kid, who had recently got insanely unpredictable.
"Hey, what the--?" The large-headed boy saw the gift, wrapped in gold on his desk.
"You should open it, Dib," Zim piped up, blinking fast as though trying to bat invisible lashes. "I think you'll like it."
"Yeah right!" the human scoffed, leaping back up from his seat. "Open it to have a big space-creature fly out into my face?! Do you think I'm that stupid?"
"I don't think you're stupid at all, Dib!" The alien looked genuinely hurt. "I think you should open your gift... If you don't, Zim will be sad... Do you wish to upset Zim?"
All eyes in the class were looking at Dib. His face was red with embarrassment - what kind of humliation was Zim tying to cause? And why was he so persistent?
"I don't really care, Zim!" he said, batting the gift onto the floor. Zim's bottom lip wobbled and his eyes teared up. Ms Bitters coiled up behind Dib, glaring.
"Dib!" she yelled in the boy's ear, causing him to leap up into the air, startled. "You've littered the floor with your present! As punishment you will open your admirer's gift in front of the entire class!"
"But Ms Bitters!" he yelled in protest, wrought with anger, embarrassment and paranoid confusion. "It's obviously a trap! Why would my worst enemy buy me a gift?!"
"Open it now, Dib, or you'll be spending lunch in detention!"
Dib thought for a moment and raised an eyebrow. "I'll spend lunch in detention for not wasting class time by opening a suspicious package?"
A growl from the demonic class mistress was all it took for the boy to reluctantly begin unwrapping the thing. Zim watched earnestly, making Dib even more suspicious. Beads of sweat began to form on his brow as he guessed at the contents. A parasitic squid beast maybe? Or perhaps a rabid mongoose?
Closing his eyes, he turned the box upside down at arms length to let the "gift" fall to the floor. Hopefully he'd still be able to run when he saw what it was.
Seeing it's identity made him want to be able to melt into the floor.
