Dead
I am dead, I know. But my soul stays, not going anywhere. I see you've granted my last wish, not to let my soul go to the Reikai.
The void's dark and cold. I can see pieces of old buildings floating around in this dimension you created. But I feel warm. It's so obvious why. Your pale arms are hugging my dead body so tight like it's your pillow. Honestly I don't mind. Physical intimacy like this probably would feel awkward back then when my mind was full with the plan, but now it's fine, I even like it.
You're sleeping peacefully. How I wish I can run my hand through those soft blue green strands. How I wish to stare at your now closed beautiful golden eyes...
I never know dying feels this complicated. I feel great loss, yet complete. I don't know where my other personalities go, and actually less care about it. They maybe are also stuck in this dead body, maybe go to see Koenma since Itsuki only did asking to keep me, or maybe just disappear from any dimensions. What I know, I can't feel them. I am now just Shinobu.
My goal is all accomplished. I'm happy to die in a strong demon's hand (technically Yusuke was a demon when he killed me). Finally, all the burdens I have as the Reikai Tantei really finish. But… I feel regret too. This hatred for humanity still exists but I can never make real my plans. Earth is still conquered by those filthy creatures. And, I regret for never treating you properly, Itsuki.
When I was still a Reikai Tantei, I told you I loved you, didn't I? Many things happened that I realize I've never clarified anything until now. I wish I have more chances to shower you with affections. I wish I can show you my gratitude, for loving me despite everything, for being loyal to follow me even after I die...
But here's the fact. I am dead now. I look at your face again. You are a demon, a beautiful demon. I regret not seeing your beauty since the very first and almost killing you. I want to laugh at my young self who thought all demons were evil and all humans were innocent. If only I had chances to make you happy, treated you well back then… I sighed. What's done is done. None of us can raise the dead. I can't do anything but looking at you, making sure that we'll be together for eternity.
