The Ring goes to Italy!

by Odeena Skywalker

Chapter 1: Dissensions

The bus to Italy was supposed to pick us up from my hourse at seven thirty in the morning. With great difficulty and the combined efforts of Boromir's good looks, Gandalf's diplomacy and Bilbo Baggins' very generous money supply, we had managed to obtain tickets for everyone, except for Gandalf, who was coming along riding an eagle (no surprise there), and Saruman, who had convinced Angmar the Witch King to lend him one of those flying thingies that Nazgul usually ride.

The night before the departure was chaos from dusk 'til dawn. Nobody slept a wink - well, except for Sam, who was able to sleep virtually anywhere, and Gollum, who had confused my mother's sleeping-pills with candy and had fallen asleep shortly before nine PM. With everyone packing, the house was a mess, and lines like 'Have you seen my gold-embroidered slippers with purple laces and two large diamonds in front?' (said by a desperate-looking Arwen), 'Who the heck ate all my lembas bread?' (snarled by a very annoyed Haldir, glaring at the snoring Samwise Gamgee) or 'My shoe! My shoe! My kingdom for my shoe!' - 'Oh give it a rest already, will you? It's my kingdom, thank you very much!' (a short altercation between Boromir and a slightly drunk Aragorn) were things of the ordinary. Finally, after everything was settled, we piled up our luggage on the sidewalk in front of my house, drank a huge mug of coffee each, and began our (supposedly) short wait.

I thought it necessary to give everybody a little speech. Not that I was good at it. On the contrary. 'Now listen here', I said, once things settled down a little. 'I'm supposed to be on a very serious school assignment - ' a few guys snickered, and I glared daggers at them before resuming ' - so don't do anything which could embarass me, or I'll make sure that I'll embarass you with the most embarassing fanfic ever to be written in the history of embarassing fanfics. Is that understood?'

'Well, that was... eloquent', Boromir said, patting me on the back, while the others all stated their assentment.

'Thanks', I said, gritting my teeth, a thing which Boromir hardly seemed to notice. Then, nobody said anything else. But as soon as the bus arrived, problems began to pop up one by one.

'You have too much luggage', the bus driver - a middle-aged old man in a worn-out blue uniform - said after taking a glance at the pile-up on the sidewalk.

'Arwen packed up half the house', Boromir hissed to Legolas, rolling his eyes, which earned him a noogie from Aragorn.

'Yeah, I bet half of that stuff consists of clothes and stuff', Pippin said excitedly. A second later, he ducked hurriedly behind Faramir as Arwen made a pretty scary at him.

'And the other half is most definitely make-up', I finished, rising an eyebrow at Arwen. 'Right?'

Arwen shifted her foot. 'Well... y'know, a girl has to look good and everything...'

'Oh for crying out loud!'

'Enough of this', Gandalf interjected placidly just as I was about to burst out. Waving his staff, he said a few words in Elvish, and the luggage seemed to disappear into thin air. However, on a closer look, I saw that it had been reduced to a little red gem, which Gandalf calmly inserted into his pocket.

'Don't worry', he said as the others looked on the verge of starting a riot, Arwen especially. 'I will give these back to you as soon as we get there. Or would one of you rather carry it?'

By the time, the driver had recovered himself enough to blurt out, 'We must be on our way - we're behind schedule already.'

'Well, you heard the man', I roared, glad that the problem had been sorted out. The other two kids on the project group were already shooting inquiring glances at us through the bus windows, and my teacher was on the stair of the bus and looked ready to bite. I knew that this was a bad omen. Big time. 'Move!' Reluctantly, the Fellowship obeyed and quietly took their seats in the back of the bus, while I went up front and joined my good friend and colleague Lisa.

'Hi girl', she greeted me in that over-excited manner of hers that made her so annoying at times. 'How's life? Oh, and by the way, how come you got the entire cast of Lord of the Rings with you?'

'Ssh!' I said hurriedly as my teacher approached. 'Don't breathe a word of this to anyone', I added in a whisper. 'It's a long story...'

'Have you got your passport?' my teacher inquired sternly.

'Yes ma'am.'

'And your friends?'

'Yes ma'am.' It was safest this way. Don't address the teacher unless asked, and always keep your side of the conversation to the minimum level possible.

'Good.' And with that, my teacher returned to her seat.

I sighed. 'Believe me', I said to Lisa, who was already throwing avid glances backwards towards Aragorn, 'these guys are more trouble than they're worth.' A loud scream, folowed by a hiss and another scream, seemed to emphasize my words. 'Keep it quiet back there!' I shouted, only to sink back in my chair as the other passangers looked at me with positively horrified faces. I have a pretty sharp voice when I yell.

'Why's there a guy on an eagle flying above us?' Rhett, the other guy in the group, asked a few minutes later, just as I was starting to cool down.

Indeed, through the open hatchet of the bus roof, Gandalf's form was clearly visible. I bit my lip. 'You're seeing things', I said, doing my best to keep my cool. 'Go to sleep.'

'Fine.' Rhett snorted, and then turned his back on us, pretending to be hurt. I couldn't care less. I glanced behind to make sure everything was OK, and then I settled to watching the landscape. Lisa was already plunged into the pages of her copy of Silmarillion, or at least pretended to, although she kept looking behind every thirty seconds or so. I rolled my eyes. This was bad news...

Author's note: Well, here it is! The second chapter! Sorry it took me so long - I've been busy with my other three stories (Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers, The Unforeseen and LoK: Lifestyle) to begin with, and then I had my school exams to attend (school's evil), and... takes out a huge list of excuses. Anyway, I hope you liked the chap! If you did, please review! Thank you! And thanks for those who already reviewed are as follows:

Breck: Thank you! So you want plenty of Boromir refferences... Okay! :)

ApocalypticPyro: You bet I'll keep it up! Thanks! :)

Omega XSabre: Geez, I guess they wanted to come with me... or something... :)

midnitest4rz: Don't worry, I will continue it... glad you like it so much !:)