Sorry I forgot to put this on the header to my last story- I was going to do the Halloween special, but the files are gone. I don't know where they went, but they're gone. I have sadness because of it. I'll keep you updated if there are any changes.


Glitzville: a glamorous floating city miles above the unsavory city of Rogueport, this was a famous vacation spot for the rich, the fight enthusiasts, and people who were really big fans of hot dogs. Bright, glittering colors adorned every building, every signpost, every garment (those prone to seizures were advised not to vacation in Glitzville) and welcomed you with a big, loud exclamation, "THIS SURE IS GLITZVILLE, ALL RIGHT! WHOO!"

Count Bleck, Tippi, Nastasia, Dimentio, Mimi, and Mr. L all stepped off the blimp. Count Bleck tipped the Cheep Cheep driver ("If you do that, my Count, he will be expecting it every time," advised Dimentio) and they were off to find accommodations. Glitzville had famous four-star hotels that the rich fight enthusiasts stayed in to be right next to the action at all times. Unfortunately, these cost money, and the Count was a bit short. Instead they were staying further back in a dingy but otherwise pleasant little hovel. They rented three rooms- one for Count Bleck and Tippi, one for Nastasia and Mimi, and one for Mr. L and Dimentio.

They were getting settled in before going off to watch the fights. Dimentio immediately claimed his bed near the bathroom and away from the door. "I claim this territory in the name of Dimentio... Master of Dimensions, Pleaser of Crowds. As sovereign king of this bed, I declare that any man who dares cross the borders will be henceforth executed! So says Dimentio!"

"Give it a rest," said Mr. L. He jumped onto the other bed and declared, "Mine!" Then he rolled over and said, "That's how you claim a bed in a hotel, got it?"

"You have no flair."


Count Bleck and Nastasia went ahead to the Glitz Pit first, deciding not to bring the minions who would no doubt be rowdy until they were certain of the situation. It was a pleasent walk through the city to the main plaza. It looked like a big fight day, and a lot of people from all over were milling around outside. Hoggle's Hot Dog cart had an enormous line, and the Juice Bar looked full.

The entered the Glitz Pit. "Welcome to the Glitz Pit!" a Toad shouted from across the crowded room. He scampered up to them and waved his whole arm as a greeting.

"Ah... thank you."

The Glitz Pit was full of tourists. Apparently a big match was about to take place, and everybody was trying to rush in to get a good seat (the cheaper seats were first-come, first-serve) Count Bleck glided along the wall, holding Nastasia by the wrist so as not to get separated. They found the back entrance to the ring and locker rooms, which was being guarded by some sort of blue carrot man.

"Fighters Only, bub," said Blue Carrot Man. "Rawk Hawk and Li'l Gon will be signing autographs after today's matches."

Nastasia stepped up. "Yeah, so, we're here to see O'Chunks, 'k? We're really good friends of his."

"I'm sure," said Blue Carrot Man. "Step aside."

"He sent a letter requesting our visit," said Nastasia. She offered the Mailbox SP, but he wouldn't budge.

"Count Bleck demands to be let in." Count Bleck folded his gloves and glowered.

Blue Carrot Man's expression changed. "You're Count Bleck?"

"Ah--well-- the thing of it is, you see--" he stammered.

His fears did not come to pass. "Count Bleck. Why didn't you say so? He's been talking about you and yours nonstop since he got here. Count this, me Blecky-boy that... the minor-leagures used to tape his mouth shut 'till it pulled off his beard and he took 'em all out at once. They refused to fight him after that and he was bumped up to the major-leagues by default! But hey, what am I chewing your ear off for?" Blue Carrot Man stepped aside and opened the door. "Go on in, he's expecting you."

They headed down the hall in silence. The hall only had a few doors, but each one was guarded by another blue carrot man. As they rounded the corner, Nastasia said, still looking straight ahead, "Have you given any more thought to changing your name?"

"We've been through this, Nastasia, I can't simply--"

"Yeah, because I've been doing some calculations, 'k? And the number of towns that run you out on a rail would decrease by approximately 67% if you stopped introducing yourself as Count Bleck. Are we on the same page here?"

"Count Bleck will consider it."

They arrived at the door and Count Bleck knocked once, then three times quickly. There was a lot of rowdy noise coming from the locker room. In a moment, a Craw answered the door.

"Mis Jol-- oh, I'm sorry. Can I help you?"

"I'm here for O'Chunks," said Count Bleck.

The Craw turned his head. "O'Chunks! he called. "It's for you!" Satisfied that his work was done, he wandered away.

O'Chunks stepped forward, saw the Count, and his face exploded with elation. He picked him up and squeezed Count Bleck so tightly, Bleck was certain his head would pop.

"Count! Ey, how yeh been? Great teh see ya. Ah, Count, I gotta show yeh what ah'v been doing since I left!"

"Yes, yes, O'Chunks, it's a happy reunion please put me down Count Bleck can't breathe." The last words weren't so much spoken as wheezed out.

O'Chunks dropped hi. "Oh, sorry. I don't know me own strength anymore. I tell yeh, this pit's given me mah chunks back a hunnerd over!"

Count Bleck arranged himself. "Well, that's just wonderful."

"An' Miss Nastasia!" O'Chunks turned to her and seemed like he was about to give her a constrictor-style greeting but suddenly thought twice. He did, however, say, "Yer lookin' prettier'n a rare highland blossom in early spring."

"Thank you, O'Chunks." She straightened her glasses, and a twinge of red appeared on her cheeks.

"Boy, it's great teh see yeh," said O'Chunks, still beaming. He couldn't take his eyes off them, as if he were afraid that if he did, they would disappear. "Lemme introduce yeh around." For the first time they became aware of the small locker room crowd they were drawing, and O'Chunks pointed them all out. "That one who let yeh in, that's the Crawlin' Craw. We go 'ead-teh-'ead again next week fer charity. Those two are the Armored 'Arries, an' they stay at the bottom o' the major leagues and the top o' the minors. Don't talk teh me much. Sleepin' right now is The Fuzz, an' enjoy it while it lasts. Li'l Gon in't 'ere right now, or I'd show 'im to yeh."

Count Bleck moved a bit further into the room. The floor was littered with trash and mess- piles of old food containers like pizza boxes and hot dog wrappers made much of the litter, but laundry and papers were another big part. "Sorry 'bout the mess," said O'Chunks. "I was gonna clean it up, but yeh came so fast, and yeh know how busy chunkin' is."

"Fear not, O'Chunks, for Count Bleck will not judge you."

Nastasia wrinkled her nose. Obviously, she felt differently.

"'Ere's mah locker. I keep all me stuff in 'ere... gotta send it out for cleanin'. There's the toilet room, don't go innere. 'Ere's the bed, we can nap between matches..."

"Why doesn't it have sheets?" asked Nastasia. There were sheets crumpled on the floor a few feet away, but none on the bed that the Fuzzy was currently sleeping on.

"Oh, that." O'Chunks glanced at them and shrugged. "Yeah, they came off sometime las' month." That was his entire explanation, and he seemed satisfied with it.

"Well... O'Chunks..." Count Bleck looked around. "You certainly are doing well for yourself."

"This is nothin'" said "O'Chunks. Wait'll yeh see where I live full-time!"

They were interrupted just then. The door opened and Jolene stepped in. "Excuse me, boys," she said. "Didn't I ask you to clean up this locker room?"

"Sorry, Miss Jolene," said the fighters in unison.

"How about we get started on that, hmm?" She surveyed the room and spotted the mountain of laundry conveniently located right next to the empty laundry hamper. "Let's get started on the laundry right away, shall we? You know how I feel about that."

When she turned to leave, she bumped into Nastasia. They stared at each other a moment, straightened their glasses, and Jolene left.

"That's Jolene," said O'Chunks. "She runs the place."

Nastasia frowned. "There's something about her... I don't like her."

"Perhaps it's your imagination," said Count Bleck.

"Possibly."

They heard Jolene bump into someone on the way down the hall, and then the door was slammed open. The current champion fighter Rawk Hawk was standing in the doorway, seething. "I wanna talk to you, Chunky!"

"That's O'Chunks to you, ya fizzle-faddle."

"Rawk Hawk," said the Craw, who was standing nearest to Count Bleck. Count Bleck nodded.

"Whatever, man. I just wanted to give you one last chance to change your mind about tomorrow's big fight!"

"I ain't backin' down from a good fight! You should be comin 'ere teh back down."

"Are you sure about that? I see your mommy and daddy already came to pick you up and take you home. Boo hoo, boo hoo."

"No, they came teh see me win! An' they're not me parents, either."

"Well, they'll be sending you home in a body bag if we mix it up in the ring."

Count Bleck turned to the Craw. "Please explain this to me."

"They're talking smack," said the Craw. "You know, since they're having a fight tomorrow, this is a sacred ritual."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"I'm afraid I'm not up on the current trends of the sport," said Count Bleck. "It's quite barbaric, if you ask me."

"Oh. So now I guess I don't have to ask you."

"I suppose you don't."

A few more barbs were traded before Count Bleck asked, "The feathered one, he is the current champion?"

"Not hardly," said the Craw. "See, The Great Gonzolas is usually the reigning champ, but he only makes guest appearances these days. So he's kind of like the Honorary Champ. Prince Mush is the current regular champ. Last week Li'l Gon actually beat him, and now it looks like he's gonna loose to O'Chunks. Can you imagine? How the mighty have fallen."

Rawk Hawk was about to storm out. His parting shot was, "You'd better watch out, O'Chunks. I will be winning the match tomorrow, and don't you forget it." And he slammed the door behind him. His huge feet could be heard clomp-clomp-clomping down the hallway.

"Pathetic," said Nastasia.

"Yeah," said O'Chunks.


O'Chunks treated his friends to dinner with his winnings of the day. There were, of course, many fine dining establishments meant to squeeze money out of people who, against all odds, still had some by the end of the day, O'Chunks chose to take them to the most famous of all- Hoggle's Hot Dog Stand. There were several outdoor patio tables set out for guests who want to buy and eat right away, and they pushed three together so all of them could sit at one gather.

O'Chunks was regaling them with tales of his exploits from the Glitz Pit, and the rest were listening with varying levels of interest, from rapt to nil.

"But it turns out," said O'Chunks, "that 'e wasn' there teh begin with! Can yeh imagine? An' us with the white paint all ready!" He slapped the table as he laughed, causing the hot dogs to jump.

"That's quite a story, O'Chunks," said Count Bleck. "It seems you've become accustomed to live in Glitzville."

"It's really somethin' 'ere, ennit?"

Dimentio was sitting across the table and was poking his hot dog with one extended finger. He picked it up with magic and examined it from all angles.

"It's a hot dog," said Nastasia. "Don't play with your food, just eat it."

"Of course," said Dimentio. "One has to wonder, though, with winnings such as our dear friend O'Chunks seems to have, why he takes us for such low-grade fare?" He was looking askance at O'Chunks when he said it.

"Mind your manners."

"Whaddaya mean? This 'ere's the best food yeh can get in this flying city... ah, maybe I don't manage me money like I should."

"You spent it all at the juice bar with kitty boos, didn't you?" said Mr. L.

"Aye."

"That can happen."

A beeping melody sounded, and right away Nastasia, Mr. L, Mimi, and Count Bleck looked down to their pockets. Count Bleck lifted up his Mailbox SP. "It was Count Bleck's," he said. Count Bleck checked the message, then pocketed it. "I shall return briefly." He pushed away and left the table.

"So," said Dimentio. "Although you're short on cash, it seems that you're winning a good many of your bouts. That's good. It would be terrible if you had no money and your career was through in addition. My my my, how sad that would be."

"Ah, I missed yer cruel mental games," said O'Chunks, giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder which sent him down to the pavement below. "An' I forgot how squishey yeh were. Sorry." He picked up Dimentio by the high collar and sat him back down.