When Draco said he didn't want to see his ex for a little while, he wasn't kidding. Draco sighed, lit a cigarette and took a long drag. He would have to talk with Granger again to get his mind sorted out. Salazar knew he couldn't do it alone. He had since long gotten over the fact that Granger was actually pretty decent company and that she was a good listener when she wanted to be. He realized that when he had swallowed some of his Malfoy pride.

So he had flooed Granger. The muggleborn witch sat on Draco's couch, sipping a Butterbeer. Draco never thought of Granger as the alcohol consuming type, but he supposed she needed it. He took a sip from his Firewhiskey himself and cleared his throat to get Granger's attention. "Granger, thank you for coming on such short notice."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "Stop with the formality already. What's going on? You talked to him?"

"Yes I did," Draco replied. "I told him we both needed time to heal and that I don't want him to contact me until I feel ready to see him."

"You're giving him a second chance?" Hermione's eyes widened considerably.

"I do," Draco nodded. "It doesn't mean that I've forgiven him, because I don't know if I'll be able to. And that's where you come in. You need to help me out."

Hermione nodded, though with a frown. "Ok, um … I'd never thought I'd see the day that pureblood Draco Malfoy would resort to asking a Muggleborn like me for help," she snickered.

"Yes, very funny," Draco said irritably. "I need you to help me figure out what I want. And why in Merlin's name I'm giving that cheater a second chance."

"Maybe it's because you love him?"

"What?" Draco spluttered. "Where did you get that insane idea? A Malfoy doesn't―"

"―love, they acknowledge and tolerate others, because loving them is below their standards and because Malfoys are a part of the elite society," Hermione filled in. "Yeah, I've heard that one. Now Malfoy business aside, Draco, how do you feel about Harry?"

Draco rubbed his eyes, feeling his body tense. "You know I won't answer," he gritted out, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. "That's not what this is about. I told you I need your help."

"And I will provide it for you," Hermione said. "You told him you both needed time to heal and won't see him until you feel ready to?"

"Yes," Draco nodded. "And I think my brain is seriously messed up."

"Well, after seeing him attempt to commit suicide, I would imagine that your brain would be messed up. But, maybe you should've waited with speaking with him."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Hermione said, "and don't take this the wrong way, because I've always supported your relationship, but … Don't you think that Harry might think that it only took him an attempted suicide to get you to give him a second chance? Don't you think that Harry might've planned this?"

Draco felt himself go paler by the second, which was quite a feat given his already natural pale skin. Of course he hadn't thought about that. His mind was too foggy for him to remember everything clearly. Or maybe it was the smoke from the dozen cigarettes he had lit. "You think he would do something like that?"

"We didn't think he'd cheat on you either, right? Well, he did," Hermione replied smoothly before she sighed. "Look, I love Harry, and I care for him very much, but you have to face the facts and the truth. Harry cheated on you by having sex with another guy."

"I know that," Draco snapped, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "Do you think I'd forget that? I'll never be able to forget that, Granger. I can't erase that from my mind, unfortunately," he muttered.

"Listen, sometimes people see what they want to see and they forget the less pleasant things. You have to look at the complete picture here, Draco." She looked at him a while longer before getting up from the couch. "Well, I'll leave you to yourself, since you have some thinking to do. I'll see you tomorrow."

But Draco didn't hear her anymore. He didn't see the way she smiled sadly and left him alone at Malfoy Manor. Look at the complete picture, Draco thought.

"Potter cheats on me," Draco murmured, rubbing his temple gently. "Potter cheats on me, we're apart for another two months and I dumbly decide to try it again after that idiot slits his wrists. He slits his wrists and he has me wound around his slit wrists again." Then he groaned. "Slit wrists, slit wrists … Fucking idiot slits his wrists, nearly bleeds to death, I punch the hell out of him and he lies there like some martyr, like some fucking masochist. 'I want to stop hurting those I love, Draco' he says. 'Look how I've hurt you'," Draco said, growing angrier with the minute. "Fucking asshole makes it sound like I've done something to him! What the fuck?" He slumped back on the couch, frustrated and irritated. He reached for the pack of cigarettes and lit another one.

He was unsure of what to do. Part of him wanted to give the man another chance, but the bigger part of himself said 'Potter can go fuck himself'.

Draco sighed again. He couldn't wait until Granger would visit him again.

*

Harry sighed loudly while staring up at the ceiling. Ron had just left after having a long talk with him. His best friend had questioned Harry about his feelings towards the blonde, asking Harry if he was sure that he still felt as strong for Draco. Harry had snapped at him and told Ron that he loved Draco with his entire being.

"I love Draco," Harry said to himself. He would do anything to make it up to the blonde man, even if it meant waiting for him for all of eternity. He still felt horribly ashamed of cheating on Draco, and tried to forget Mike's lingering touch. The dreams about Mike went away after a while, and instead, he forced himself to remember the happier times he had spent with Draco.

Harry remembered how Draco would sometimes surprise him by taking him out to a nice restaurant, even if the blonde didn't want to admit to such a romantic gesture.

"We're going out, now! Move it, Potter! We have reservations at seven and Merlin help me if you aren't ready by then I'll be going there alone!"

Harry smiled at the memory. No matter how cold Draco's voice was, Harry knew he didn't really mean it. The blonde had warmed up to him after a while, and Harry found that the blonde was merely subtle in expressing his emotions. And eventually he understood the blonde perfectly and knew how to interpret his moods.

He had learned to live with Draco's snarky personality and had understood why the blonde was the way he was. Harry knew that he didn't want to lose the blonde man he had come to love. He vowed to himself to do everything to make it up to him. Even when Mike suddenly appeared on his doorstep.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Harry stammered, after recovering slightly from his shock at seeing the older man for the first time in months.

"I was wondering how you were doing," Mike muttered. "I found out where you lived and decided to check up on you. Can I come in?"

"Um, sure." Harry opened the door enough for Mike to slip in. He led the man to the living room, having him facing away from the fire-place. Merlin knew how the Muggle would react if someone flooed in and he didn't want to Obliviate the man. "So, er, how did you find out where I live?"

"Oh, I asked one of the shrinks at the institute where you lived, claiming I wanted some advice from you about living life the straight way," Mike snickered. "And she believed it, smiling dumbly at me while giving your address. Well, she was blonde, didn't expect anything less."

"Not all blondes are dumb," Harry murmured, his mind straying to his blonde ex-lover, who was far from dumb.

"That's true I guess," Mike shrugged. "So, how are you doing? Have you spoken to your boyfriend?"

"Ex-boyfriend," Harry muttered, swallowing the lump in his throat. "He told me that we needed time to heal and that he doesn't want to see me until he feels ready to."

Mike nodded slowly. "That's good. That you're trying again, I mean. God knows I felt awful about ruining your relationship."

"It wasn't just you," Harry said. "I shouldn't have allowed it in the first place. If I had used my brains, then it would have never happened."

"At least I know that I'm truly an incurable homosexual," Mike snickered. "I never saw the point of being at that institute anyway, if it weren't for my parents …"

Harry smiled slightly. "Mike, you have to know that I regret sleeping with you that night. I didn't mean for it to happen and God knows I didn't want Draco to see me like that."

Much to Harry's surprise, Mike nodded. "I know. I figured that much when you were asleep while you said your boyfriend's name and the look on your face when you woke up told me immediately that we just made the biggest mistake of our lives."

Harry nodded slowly, staring down at the floor. "I hope he still wants to take me back after all this," he muttered. "Draco can be incredibly stubborn, but I wouldn't have been surprised if Draco told me to shove it."

Again, Mike nodded. "He does seem like the type who doesn't forgive and forget easily."

Harry nodded in agreement and sighed deeply.

*

The following day, Draco was beside himself, waiting anxiously for Granger to drop by the Manor. Embarrassingly enough, he felt the urge to hug her when she did drop by the Manor. Luckily, he refrained himself from doing such an un-Malfoy-ish thing. He did offer her a Butterbeer, taking a glass of Firewhiskey himself.

"So I take it you've done some thinking?" Granger asked.

"Yes. I did. And I still didn't really get anywhere," Draco sighed. "I've thought about everything, but in reality I just want to forget it."

"It's too painful," Granger nodded. "But you gave Harry a second chance for a reason, didn't you? It's obvious that you care a great deal about him."

Draco shifted uncomfortably on the couch but said nothing.

"You said a while ago that you thought that Harry might need someone more compatible."

"I do," Draco nodded. "I still think so. I mean, I obviously can't fulfill his needs with what he's done. If Potter really loved me, he wouldn't have given himself to another man that quickly. But then again, he told me over and over that he regretted it so much."

"Plus, he loves you, he really does," Hermione added, watching Draco sympathetically.

"I'm wondering if maybe I made a mistake by giving it another try. It hurt when I found him with that Muggle, Granger," he said with a grimace. "I certainly don't see myself having sex with Potter again after he cheated on me, in fact, I don't even want to see him right now."

"And that's understandable. You need to give yourself time to cope with everything that's happened."

"Say Granger, do you think Potter needs someone who's better for him? I mean, be honest, you did not like the fact that Potter was in a relationship with me," he smirked, thoroughly enjoying Granger's rapidly coloring face.

"I-it was different then," she stammered. "Oh, stop smirking already, Draco. I may not have liked it in the beginning, but I always accepted it. As for your question, I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I know that you're not at fault here, Draco, and don't you dare thinking otherwise."

Draco held his hands up in mock surrender. "I wouldn't even dare, your Royal Highness," he said mockingly. "I did tell him that I thought we weren't right for each other. And maybe we aren't. Maybe he needs a less complicated man to be with. Or something."

"My, Draco Malfoy, did you just admit that you're a complicated man to be with?"

Draco scowled. "Don't look so surprised. I know that, alright? I know I am, and maybe Potter's decided that he's through with me."

Hermione sighed. "I can't believe that you're more worried about Harry not wanting you anymore than that you're worried about him cheating."

"I'm worried about both," Draco admitted. But he couldn't deny that he was indeed more worried about Potter not wanting him anymore, though he was loath to admit it out loud. When they first started going out, Draco had kind of treated it like a game; Potter would tire soon of Draco and move on to the next man. But he hadn't. And it had surprised him. In fact, it had surprised him at how long they'd been together. A year and a half had to be a record for him.

He heard Granger sigh again, something she seemed to be doing a lot lately. "Maybe you need to talk to him. Clear up both your minds. Maybe you can find out what you want."

"I'm not ready," Draco said.

"Maybe you'll never be, but I know that the two of you need to talk, because you won't get any answers this way."

"Maybe."

*

Draco stepped out of the fire-place. "Potter, we need to―talk." Then he stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing Potter with the Muggle from the institute.

"Draco," Harry said, eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree upon seeing the blonde.

Draco nodded curtly, feeling his anger grow upon seeing the man his ex had cheated with. "So what's your one-nighter doing here?" he asked casually.

"Draco!" Harry hissed.

Mike chuckled softly and shook his head, turning to look at Draco, who was trying to keep his temper under control. "I was merely wondering how he was doing after he'd left the institute so suddenly."

Draco snorted. "Well, I am slightly surprised to find you both with your clothes on."

"Draco," Harry gaped. "Do you have to be so rude?"

"You tell me, Potter," Draco glared. "What the hell is he doing here? Decided to have a repeat from a few months ago?"

"No! I wouldn't do that to you! Not again," Harry added quietly. "He really only asked how I was and never implied that he was here for a different reason whatsoever. I swear."

"Lately, I'm not taking your word for anything, Potter," Draco said bitterly.

Harry sighed and his posture slumped, leaving him staring at the floor.

Mike cleared his throat. "I'm going to go, since you obviously have some talking to do. By the way, how'd you get in?"

"I have my ways," Draco replied haughtily, staring the slightly smaller man down, daring the Muggle to question him.

Mike nodded and went for the front door, closing it quietly as he left.

Harry looked up at Draco, knowing he was seething inside. "Will you please sit down?"

Draco flung himself on the couch and folded his arms across his chest, waiting for whatever Harry wanted to say to him.

"Mike came here, unexpected, and asked me how I was doing. That's all," Harry said slowly. "I invited him in and we started talking. I told him that he needed to know that I regret the night I slept with him and he understands. He told me he figured as much when I woke up that morning, that's all."

"First off, what you get up to with that Muggle isn't exactly my business anymore is it?" Draco hissed. "I only came here to talk, not because I was 'desperate' to see you," he scoffed, as if the mere thought sickened him.

Harry knew that Draco wasn't finished being rude, but somewhere in the back of his head, he knew the deserved every nasty word the powerful aristocrat hurled at him. "Then talk to me, Draco," he said softly.

Draco snarled and clenched his fists angrily. "You're being awfully calm about everything, you know that? I've been frantic these past few months, trying to get my life back on track, trying to get my mind sorted out and all I want is to give you another chance, but I can't."

"I just can't throw my heart out there again to let it get ripped apart later. Because that's what you did, Potter," Draco snarled. "You took my heart and ripped it to shreds and gave it back to me. I can't do it again."

"Draco," Harry said, feeling panic surge through his body as he got up stiffly and approached the blonde. "Please let me make it up to you. Let me prove to you that I am worthy of you, please."

Draco got up from the couch, almost pushing the raven-haired man away when he invaded his personal space. "You can't make it up to me, Potter. Seeing you with that Muggle tonight was the final straw."

"No, please, Draco." Harry gripped Draco by his shoulders, trying to get him to look at him properly. "Please, just let me prove it. Please, Draco. Please. I love you, please let me make it right again." He cupped Draco's cheek and kissed him softly, feeling butterflies swarming around in his stomach when he felt those lips kiss him back.

Then Draco pulled away with a scowl. "Don't make this any harder," he gritted out. "You say you want to make it right, but I don't know how to trust you again. I don't know whether or not you'll slip up again. I can't get my heart stamped on again, Potter."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Harry whispered, feeling tears sting in his eyes.

Draco put his hands on Harry's shoulders and squeezed them gently. "I don't think this is good for either of us. We both need something we can't provide for each other."

"But can't we at least try?" Harry hated the fact that his voice was breaking, but he didn't care.

"We've tried for over a year and a half and then it went wrong," Draco said, staring down in Harry's green teary eyes.

Harry felt his lower lip tremble. "Don't leave me, Draco," he pleaded. "I need to make it up to you, please! I need you to how you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Draco, please."

"I don't want to get hurt again," Draco said, shaking his head. "You can't imagine how hurt I felt when I walked in on you and that Muggle. And you were only admitted there for two weeks. I thought I knew you," he said. "But I had no idea you could give yourself to a Muggle you've known for two weeks so easily. And you claim that you love me."

"I do! Draco, believe me, if I could go back in time and change it, I would," Harry said. He didn't care that he was starting to cry, all that mattered was Draco.

"Potter, I don't even know you anymore. Frankly, I'm wondering if I ever really knew you."

Harry let out a sob. "You said that we needed time. I thought you wanted to try, Draco. Please, just let me try. I'm not perfect you know! Everyone screws up sometimes!"

"Of course they do!" Draco yelled back. "But they don't let someone fuck them, Potter! You were in a relationship and you let that asshole take you! Didn't you think about me while you were getting fucked by him?" He shoved Harry away from him, barely refraining himself from punching the other man. "How could you hurt me like that!"

"I'm sorry!" Harry sobbed. "I regret it so much that I attempted suicide Draco! I feel miserable about what I've done! You have got to believe me!"

Draco breathed harshly through his nose as he attempted to calm himself down. "I know you regret it," he said, though much quieter. "You have to understand that I find it incredibly hard to forgive you for it. What did I do to you to deserve it? I thought you were happy, Harry. I thought you felt something for me after I agreed trying this relationship thing with you. Was I wrong all this time?"

"No, you weren't, Draco," Harry sniffed, trying to approach Draco once more, swallowing thickly when Draco wouldn't let him. "God, you weren't wrong. Please believe me when I tell that I love you. I wouldn't feel this miserable if my feelings for you weren't real."

"I know you're feeling miserable, I can see it," Draco said. "And I'm miserable too, but don't you think that if we try to patch things up that we'll only make each other miserable?" He sat down on the couch, watching Harry do the same, while he was crying silently, staring at his lap. "I …" Draco took a deep breath and looked Harry in the eyes. "I―I want to be with you, but I just … I can't help but feel that we'll only make things worse for each other. I know that I won't be able to trust you again like before, and you'll probably feel annoyed about the fact that I can't. And I can't picture myself sleeping with you again," he added uncomfortably. "Not after that Muggle has been inside you."

Harry nodded and continued staring into his lap. "I guess I deserve that."

"I came to realize that I'm not the man you need in your life," Draco said with feigned indifference. "Suppose all this talking with Granger has helped somewhat."

"What do you mean you're not?" Harry exclaimed. "You are the one for me Draco! I can feel that with my heart. Even though you don't have the warmest personality, I never got the feeling that you weren't good for me! Even when Ron thought you had put a love spell on me, I defended you against my friends, remember? Hell, I defended you against the entire Weasley family, and against Ginny who tried to take revenge on you for supposedly stealing me away from her!"

"I know all that," Draco snapped. "The point is that this thing doesn't work, ok? It's best if we leave it at that and move on."

"B-but, I don't want to move on!" Harry protested.

"It's better for both of us, trust me," Draco said dismissively. He got off from the couch and made the wrong decision of looking back at his ex, who was crying. He felt his heart clench, but made no move to do anything about it and walked up to the fire-place.

Suddenly he was welcomed by a sobbing mess that went by the name of one Harry James Potter. Draco could vaguely make out the words 'don't leave' and 'please'. He sighed softly while pulling the man against his chest. "It's better this way," he murmured in Harry's ear.

"No, it's not!" Harry wailed. "You can't leave me, Draco!"

"It's better this way," Draco repeated and gently pushed Harry away from him. He took a handful of floo powder and flooed back to Malfoy Manor, where an anxious Hermione was waiting for him.

"How did it go?"

Draco let out a long breath he didn't know he was holding. "I ended it, for good. I told him we needed to get over it and move on."

"You did?" Hermione asked in shock.

Draco nodded and lit a much needed cigarette. "He needs something I can't give him and I won't let him be tied down to me, and if he hates me for the rest of his life because of this, then so be it."

"You only want to see him happy," Hermione murmured, walking up to Draco and hugged him. "If you think that this is what you need to do, then I'll help you get through it."

"Thanks, Granger," Draco nodded and patted her back gently. "You can let go of me now," he added uncomfortably. "If the Weasel sees us like this, he might get strange ideas in that ginger head of his."

Hermione pressed a kiss to his cheek and removed herself from Draco, which he greatly appreciated. Now he just had to find a way to forget the broken look Harry had sent him before he flooed out of Grimmould Place.

*

Harry dropped to his knees in front of the fire-place, feeling as if the bottom of his world had just dropped down on him. He felt his insides grow cold as his vision blurred with unshed tears. The love of his life just walked out of his life, he realized. And Draco wouldn't come and give him a second chance this time.

"Seeing you with that Muggle tonight was the final straw."

Harry bit his lip harshly to keep himself from sobbing his heart out. He had royally fucked up now. He felt the strong urge to run up to his bedroom and hide under the covers and never come out again. Ron wasn't here with him and Hermione was probably at Draco's house. Harry forced himself to get up and sit on the couch, which was more comfortable than the floor. But he didn't particularly care for that. The love of his life had officially left him.

And he had no idea how he was going to deal with that.

fin