Everyone looked at me. I think they were excepting me to say something, but what could I say? Guys I don't remember, I thought. Oh Dad, do something, please. I looked at him frustrated.

"Emmett, Rose, Jasper? I thought you wanted to go hunting." Dad said.

Wow, I thought he could distract them better. Everyone looked at Dad, now.

"You want to go hunting? I'll come with you." Alice said. It seems like Aunt Alice understood what we've been trying. She grabbed Jaspers hand and pulled him out of the room. Emmett and Rose followed them.

Grandpa Carlisle smiled at me, it looked like an apologizing smile. "Well, I have to go to work. Have a nice day." he said, gave Grandma Esme a kiss on the cheek and left.

Now it was just me, Mum, Dad and Grandma Esme.

"I think I'll go and call Alice and ask her if she goes shopping with me, later." Grandma said and left the room.

I knew what was coming now. We would talking about my "problems". My day started very well.

"Renesmee, you have to understand us. We just want to know what's going on with you." Dad said.

"Dad, everyday you read my mind. I think you know what's going on." I told him. It was the truth. Always they are anxious about me, but why? Dad knows exactly what I do or even what I want to do.

"Okay, I can read your mind, but your thoughts aren't so clearly, like.. they once was." he stopped a little bit.

"Nessie, I know how you feel. You lost many people, who you loved, in your life, but don't loose yourself." Mum said.

"You don't know how I feel." I became angry, she said the name I hated.

"First I lost your Dad for a long time." She looked at him and took his hand. "Then I lost my Dad and then my Mum. I've lost people who I loved, I was sad when they died. There was a time I didn't smile, there was a time I really needed my family and they were there for me. I just wanted to say we are there for you. Always. Anytime you need us, even at night, you know we don't sleep. " she smiled at me.

I smiled, too. Mum could always make me smile. Anyway, I know that they're there for me, but I just can't talk to them.

"Why not?" Dad asked.

I thought about it. Why? I'd never talked to them about it, but perhaps I should try to.

"You'd lost someone, because they died." I began. "But you don't know how it feel to loose someone, because the person just doesn't want or like you anymore. The people you'd lost, had to go. But it feels worse if the person decides to go." It was harder as I thought, but I went on. "Actually it sounds like the same, but it isn't. If the person had to go, you still know that he or she loved you. If the person decides to go, you feel like you're not good enough, or like you did something wrong. You can't stop thinking of it, you can't stop trying to remember what you did wrong. All the time you think, it was your fault that he left, but then it comes the time, you get mad at him and you know, he left me, he left me without goodbye, he left me without reason and you begin to hate him, to hate yourself, because you've trusted this person. You promise yourself not to make the same mistake again. You stop to trust others, you stop to love others, you think it's good for you, but the truth is, you just break yourself."

During I talked to them I looked down, because I couldn't look them in the eyes. As I finished I looked up. Mum looked like she would cry. I think she would, if she could. No on said something it was an awkward silence. I tried to say something, to make them talk to me, but after everything I said, I couldn't speak anymore.

After about 10 minutes silence, Dad began to talk.

"You can remember?"

"Of course, I can." I said. What did he think? I just forget about it, it's not that easy.

"I thought it, because in your mind was never something about..." he stopped.

I don't know how long it has been, since the last time someone said his name.

"I've just tried not to think about him, I think I was successful." I said.

"Does it make you sad?" Mum asked.

What should I answer?

"Just the truth." Dad said.

"Yes it does. It makes me want to cry." I told them. I just stared at them without an expression.

"But you don't do it?!" Mum asked. It sounded more like a fact than a question.

"Exactly." I said.

"It doesn't change anything, Mum. It just shows how weak I am."

"You're not weak, Nessie. You're not. You never was and you'll never be." Dad said.

We sat there for 5 minutes of more silence.

I couldn't sit there any longer. "We've talked about it, or? Can I go upstairs, now? Please."

Mum and Dad nodded. I ran upstairs in supernatural speed. I just wanted to be alone.

I sat down on the floor and looked around me. Something was different. I looked around in my room. I tried to find something.

"The smell." I said to myself. It smells different in my room. Well, it must be a new perfume from Alice or Rose or something. I lay down on the ground. Finally I could tell them the truth.

So many faces. I could count 9 people. Everyone stared at me. "Renesmee" they said. "Renesmee" they said again. Everyone said my name. Stop it, stop it, stop it! Every face was black, but I knew everyone. Now I could hear something different than Renesmee. Someone said another name. The voice became louder and louder. Now I understood the name. Jacob.

Suddenly I woke up! It was a dream, again. Always these confusing dreams. But this time it was different. I remembered everything. One person said Jacob. I also remembered my last dream. I saw Jake. I really saw him. That's the reason why I cried, because of Jake.. I stood up and went to the mirror. Again. I had puffy, red eyes and my face was wet. Why do I cry about him? I don't want it. I'm not the little, weak girl, I once was. I need to get rid of everything from him. I looked at the clock. It was 5.47 pm. Wow I'd slept a long time. I ran across the room and took everything what reminds me of him. I still wear my pajamas. I dressed me quickly. I put on my coat and ran upstairs.

"I'll take a walk." I shouted without to stop, I ran straight into the forrest. I ran and ran and ran. I stopped at a small meadow. It was 6.34 pm, now. I sat down on the ground and watched the sunset. It was calming me. The sunset reminds me of a song, which I sang often when I was younger. The Call by Regina Spektor.

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

A tear felt down. "I'll come back when you call me." I said to myself. Everytime when I sang the song, Jacob told me that. He promised he would never leave. He loved it when I sang. I remembered the day he left. It was my birthday. I woke up and found a huge packet besides my bed. I opened the packet and found a Teddy bear which looked like a wolf. I was so damn happy about the gift, even it was not the most expensive or the prettiest one. It was just from my best friend, that meant everything to me. On the ear from the Teddywolf was a note, it says: Happy Birthday Nessie. My love, I'm sorry. I'll be there if you need me. I didn't understand what it meant. I ran upstairs to thank him, but he wasn't there. I ran into his room, but he wasn't there either. I asked Mum where he went, no one told me, until Dad talked to me. I was too young to understand what was going on. Another tear felt down. I finally could cry without feeling weak. He left exactly 136 years ago. Since then I stopped to celebrate my birthday. My friends didn't understand, until I told them, that at the same date died a friend.

Now it was 7.00pm. The sun was gone and I made a little campfire. I looked at the pictures which I took with me. Jacob and me when I was 8 months. Jacob and me when I was 3 years old. Jacob and me when I was 5 years old. With every picture I looked at, I began even more to cry. Usually I don't feel cold, but this time I was getting cold, I felt empty and lost. I'd never thought that it would still hurt me so much, after all the years. I took one picture and held it to the fire, till it started to burn. I watched the picture burn. I sat there in front of the fire just crying about pictures and memories. And this time I didn't feel stupid. I just felt sad, totally sad. I looked at the next picture, but I just couldn't burn the picture. I looked at the Teddywolf. Actually I wanted to burn it, but instead I hugged Teddywolf tight. Suddenly I looked up. I heard a howl. A loud howl from a wolf. Every Birthday I hear that howl. The first 4 times I thought it would be Jacob and ran into the forrest, but after looking for him for hours I gave up hope. I looked up to the moon. The tears were still falling. Suddenly I felt huge arms around me. I was shocked, I turned around. Uncle Emmett faced me. What he's doing here?

"Un-uncle Emmett?" I sobbed.

He hugged me tight.

"What are yo-you do-doing here?" I asked.

"Looking for you, Nessie. You shouldn't be in the forrest all alone." he whispered.

I wanted to say something, but I just cried.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked.

I shook my head. No.

"Okay" he said and we sat down. We sat there for a few more hours in silence. I cried and he were just holding me.

Emmett is a huge idiot, always funny and he always needs a challenge. But sometimes he's like a good friend, like a best friend.

I don't how long we sat there. After hours when I stopped crying he picked me up and carried me home. He put me on my bed and left the room.

The last thing I remember is that Mum came in and closed the window.


Babababaaaam. Next Chapter! I think I was very quick. And what did you think when it comes to the "Suddenly I felt huge arms around me" weeeell of course Emmett! I love Emmett. When I read the books, I was sooo in love with him haha. Guys please please please review. I don't know if I should write on!!