In the Prologue, our six-year-old protagonists are introduced. Naruto plays a game of poker with Doku and his men in the Kuro ie (Black House), and Sasuke calls Doku out when he cheats. Doku and his men surround Naruto and Sasuke, but the men of the Akai Kawa (Red River), underlings of Sakura, come and save the day. When Sasuke tries to get home unnoticed, his brother watches through the shadows. What will come next?
Chapter One: How To Completely Screw Up!
Six Years Later...
"YOU FAIL!"
Naruto fell to the ground in misery, his sickly Bunshin dispersing.
"Uh...Iruka, why don't we just pass him? Sure, his Bunshin is...sub-par, but he did make one, which is much better than last year. I think we can agree that he has shown a tremendous amount of growth."
Iruka glanced to the side. "Mizuki, I know he's grown, and I'm proud...BUT HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PASS HIM WHEN HE CAN'T MAKE A SINGLE USEFUL CLONE?!"
Naruto winced and Mizuki sighed. "Yeah...I guess you're right." He turned to Naruto. "Sorry, but you fail...for the third time."
Naruto nodded and walked out of the testing room.
"So, how'd it go?" a voice asked. Naruto glanced up.
"I failed."
Sasuke choked. "Again?!" Naruto nodded. Sakura sighed.
"See, Naruto," Sakura said, "I told you to ask Sasuke to get the answer sheet."
"Hey, I passed the written exam!" Naruto said. "Barely," he added almost as a second thought. "What I failed is the Bunshin."
Sakura shook her head. "That's just bad luck."
Sasuke nodded along. "Yeah, you should invest in a gakugyo-joju."
Naruto blinked. "...eh?"
"You don't know what a gakugyo-joju is? It's an omamori, a sort of good-luck charm, for students. They're supposed to help you study and pass exams. My mother bought me one for the Graduation Exam."
"You can buy that next year," Sakura said, waving her hand dismissively at Sasuke, who rolled his eyes. "What you should get is a kaiun omamori for good fortune, or a yakuyoke omamori for warding off evil."
"How about a katsumori for success? Or a shoubaihanjou for finding money? Both might help you with your gambling."
"You can even get a kumajo for protection against bears-"
"Bears?!" Naruto squeaked.
"...I think we're overwhelming him."
"Why don't we just take him to a shrine so he can choose?"
"Yeah, that's probably a better idea."
In the end, Naruto bought a yakuyoke, which he clipped to the inside of his orange jacket. Sasuke bought him katsumori that Naruto hung around his neck (to intimidate his opponents, he would later admit), and Sakura got him a shoubaihanjou, which he slipped into Gama-chan.
"Remember," the shrine attendant warned, "these only last a year. After a year, bring them back so we can properly dispose of them. Do not, I repeat, do not throw them away. Is that understood, young man?"
"Y-Yes!" Naruto said, quickly nodding his head.
"Good. I trust you'll come here more often?"
"Er..."
The attendant sighed. "Kids your age never have faith these days."
Naruto laughed sheepishly as Sasuke and Sakura dragged them away.
"Don't take the 'one-year' thing to heart," Sasuke said. "My family has omamori that are passed down from generation to generation. Since my brother's the oldest, he gets my father's, but I'll get my mother's."
Naruto nodded absent-mindedly.
Suddenly, someone said, "Naruto?"
All three jumped slightly and turned. Naruto blinked. "...Mizuki-sensei?"
"Can I have a moment to talk with you?"
"...he asked you to steal the Scroll of Seals?" Sasuke asked incredulously.
"Yep," Naruto said, nodding.
"Well then," Sakura said, "let's give him the Scroll of Seals."
"W-What?!" Sasuke said, choking. "This is the Scroll of Seals we're talking about here, not some useless old book! It's full of jutsu that the Hokage have deemed too dangerous for use! The Hokage! They're the strongest people in the village and they still thought they were dangerous!"
"Calm down Sasuke, you're speaking in italics," Naruto said absentmindedly.
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"We can have Sasuke steal it and we all can meet up with Mizuki-sensei..." Sakura muttered.
"And if Iruka-sensei catches us, Mizuki-sensei will get busted and we'll still get to look at some forbidden jutsu," Naruto said.
Sakura and Naruto both turned to Sasuke, evil grins on their faces. "Come one, Sasuke dear," Sakura sang. "You know what to do!"
"No way in hell am I stealing the Scroll of Seals! If I get caught, I'll be in so much trouble! And it might cause some tension between my Clan and the government! The gods know that we had enough of that five years ago."
"But Saaaasukeeee..." Naruto whined. "Think of all the jutsu!"
"Now look who's talking in italics," Sakura muttered.
"What are you two talking about?!" Sasuke yelled. He suddenly sighed, shaking his head. "Nevermind. However, if I'm caught, we're going to prison together, got that?"
"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said dismissively.
"...fine," Sasuke spat. "I'll commit treason just because my two best friends wanted me to!"
"Thanks Sasuke, you're the best!"
"Shut up-"
"Italics."
"YOU LITTLE SH-"
"Sasuke, where have you been?" Itachi asked.
Sasuke, his face red and his eyes set in a glare, hissed, "Talking to my friends."
"...I take it that you had a disagreement with them?"
"They're being idiots and they want me to be an idiot and I was under the illusion that I was not an idiot but, in the end, it turns out that I am an idiot, just very good at hiding it."
"...I see."
"No, no you don't." With that, Sasuke stomped off to his room.
Belatedly, Itachi realized he had forgotten something pretty important. "Congratulations on graduating!" he yelled down the hall. His only answer was a slammed door. Itachi winced slightly.
Yeah, Sasuke wasn't in a good mood.
"What are you doing?" Itachi asked when he spotted Sasuke leaving the house with a bag on his back.
"Being an idiot," Sasuke said.
"Should I be concerned?"
"Probably."
"Will you get in trouble?"
"No," Sasuke said with a sigh. As much as he hated to admit it, Naruto and Sakura were right. He wasn't going to get caught.
"I see. Where are you going?"
"Somewhere only an idiot would go."
"When will you be returning?"
"Anywhere from an hour to tomorrow morning."
"...do I want to know?"
"No, you really don't. Trust me. It's not worth it."
"I'll take your word for it."
"Congratulations, you're not an idiot."
"So I've been told."
"You'll cover for me?"
"Have fun at your sleepover."
Sasuke grinned slightly. "See you tomorrow, Big Brother."
The two brothers nodded, and Sasuke was off.
Sasuke crouched in one of the many trees next to the Hokage's house.
"I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot..." It had become his mantra.
Sasuke watched the sun slip under the horizon and the sky darken. Eventually, Sasuke sighed and stood up on his branch.
"Okay, idiot," he said to himself, "let's do this."
Jumping from tree to tree, Sasuke eventually made it to the house's outdoor storage unit. If the Sarutobi Clan was anything like his own then they probably wouldn't guard the storage house. As an added bonus, it was much, much smaller than the Uchiha's. It made sense, considering that the Sarutobi Clan currently consisted of only three people.
He glanced around, making sure no one was there, and slowly proceeded towards the house.
"Hey, who's there?" he heard a voice bark. Sasuke froze.
After a split-second coin toss in his head, he yelled out in a scared voice, "H-Hello? Is anybody th-there?"
And suddenly there was a shinobi, most-likely a Chuunin, standing in front of him. "...who are you?" For a second, Sasuke couldn't believe that the man didn't realize who he was (after all, he was [sadly] famous). That's when Sasuke truly realized how dark it must have been for him. Since Sasuke came from a clan with a great doujutsu, he had been trained from a very young age to use his eyesight to the fullest and, as a consequence, he could see things much better than others. The Chuunin probably couldn't tell him apart from Naruto right now.
Eventually, Sasuke managed to say, "Y-You're a stranger!"
The man paused, considering this. Then, "What are you doing here, kid?"
Ignoring the sudden blinding rage that surged through him, Sasuke said, "I...I was playing. I don't know where I am."
The man blinked, then nodded. "You're lost, huh?"
"And hungry," Sasuke whispered.
The man patted his vest before frowning. "I don't have anything on me..." He thought for a second. "Why don't you come with me? My shift's over and I've got a key. I'm sure Lord Third won't mind if we get you a quick snack and then get you home."
Sasuke forced his eyes to widen. "L-Lord Third?"
The man smiled slightly. "Kid-" Sasuke grit his teeth, "-I don't know how you couldn't figure it out...but you're in the Hokage's backyard."
Sasuke made a big show of back-tracking. "E-Eh?!"
The man chuckled. "Come on, let's get you inside and give you something to eat."
The walk there was silent. When they got to the back door, the man pulled a key out of his pocket and started fiddling with the lock. "Come on..." When the door finally opened, the man let out a small sound of victory. "Good, now why don't you-"
Before the Chuunin could turn around and get a good look at him, Sasuke tackled him, covering his eyes.
The man gasped. "HEY-"
His mouth was suddenly covered with some cloth and, within a few seconds, he was unconscious.
Sasuke dragged the Chuunin inside and shut the door, locking it. He glanced around.
This...was another storage room. A slightly larger one, and it was connected to the actual compound, but it was still a storage room. Sasuke decided to take it as a blessing instead of a curse. He scoured the room and managed to find some rope. Using the pocket knife he had in his pack, Sasuke cut them into smaller pieces and tied the Chuunin to the chair, purposely keeping his hands apart so that he couldn't perform any jutsu. He put a gag in his mouth and placed him in a position so that anyone opening the door and glancing around wouldn't see him.
Sasuke sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Then he smiled. The smile turned into a grin, which turned into a chuckle, which turned into a full-blown laugh. He was quiet, of course. No need to alert anyone of his presence.
When Sasuke was done, he leaned his head against the wall. "Heh," he muttered. "Chloroform. A classic. Can't believe he actually fell for it." There was more silence, before, "It's been so long...a year, I think. I've forgotten how fun it is."
He stood up, re-energized and ready for more. "My first major job in a year. Let's do this."
He walked towards the other door, which presumably leads into the house. When he pulled on the doorknob, though, it wouldn't budge.
"I knew it," Sasuke muttered. It was locked. Of course it was locked, it leads into the house. Sasuke turned to the unconscious Chuunin. "Maybe..."
After searching him, Sasuke came back empty handed. It made sense, though. Why on Earth would you give someone, even your guards, a key to the main part of your house? It was probably to protect the Hokage. Shaking his head, Sasuke went back to the door.
After about three minutes of intense staring, Sasuke noticed something. He then proceeded to bash his head against the wall. (Again, quietly)
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..." Sasuke muttered. There was a window above the door. Sighing, Sasuke turned back to it.
Picking up his bag, Sasuke turned to the wall. He held his breath. He hadn't done this in, well, over a year.
He carefully placed a foot on the wall. It stayed. He then placed another. When he stayed in his horizontal position without crashing to the floor, Sasuke smirked. He had done it. He continued up the wall to the window. It was closed, but not locked. Sasuke's smirk widened.
It was just large enough for him to climb through. He was about to do so, but he paused. He glanced back down to the floor. The keys to this room seemed to gleam in the stark-white light.
One minute later, the keys were safely tucked in Sasuke's bag, the lights in the storage room were off, the window closed, and Sasuke was inside the Hokage's house.
There was a surprisingly small amount of guards inside the compound. Every now and then while Sasuke walked through the dark hallways, he would hear footsteps or some muttering. Sasuke would immediately book it up to the ceiling and watch as the sleep-deprived Chuunins did their best at guarding their leader.
Eventually, Sasuke made it to where he was supposed to be. The Sarutobi Clan Library. It wasn't as large as the Uchiha's, but it held a lot of top secret information.
Ah, the perks of your Clan Head also being the Hokage.
He was about to open the door when he paused. This was way too easy...
Sasuke put a small pulse of chakra, not enough for any detection, into the door.
The thing about Uchiha chakra is that it's very connected with the element of fire, which makes it unusually bright (and flammable. Don't ask how he knew). The concentrated energy of seals tended to collide with Uchiha chakra, causing it to burn brightly with a small amount of it...or explode if there is too much. Uchiha naturally have large chakra reserves which makes it hard for using the small amount of chakra necessary for them to handle seals. That's why there has never been an Uchiha seal master.
Sasuke, however, was a young boy. His chakra reserves were yet to fully develop and, as a result, it wasn't that hard for him to channel a small amount of chakra.
As he had expected, the door lit up. Intricate seals looped over the whole thing and Sasuke was slightly taken aback. Sure, this room was important, but this was a bit much.
He had about five minutes before the seals cooled down, so he needed to analyze them and figure out how to get around them.
It wasn't explosive, that's for sure. It had the kanji for water on it, which has no place in an explosion seal. However, he did find the kanji for blood, so that was foreboding.
The image was beginning to fade. Sasuke's breath started to pick up. His eyes swept over the seals once again, picking up all the kanji.
Sarutobi, blood, sound, large...
Sasuke's eyes widened. The kanji for water was just there to keep it from over-heating. The real instructions were that it needed the blood of a Sarutobi to open, and if it didn't get it, it would make a large (probably meant loud) sound.
The last of the seal faded away and Sasuke heard footsteps. He immediately ran up the wall and into the ceiling. When he looked down, though, he saw a familiar face.
"Sanoma?"
Sanoma blinked and looked up. "Uchiha brat? What are you doing here?"
"Ah, you know, just chilling on the ceiling."
"Really?"
"Of course not you idiot! I'm doing a job!"
"Stealing from the Hokage's library? Kami, Uchiha brat, how much are you getting paid?"
Depression lines crashed down over Sasuke's face. "That's the thing," he said morosely. "I'm not."
"...ah, Uzumaki and Haruno brats had you do it, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'll leave you to it."
Sasuke was immediately suspicious. Sanoma was an acquaintance from the Kuro ie, so Sasuke figured that he would negotiate with him. Maybe give him some money or a favor...but getting off free was not what he was expecting.
"You're not going to ask for anything?"
Sanoma glanced up. "Now, Uchiha brat, why on Earth would I do that?"
Sasuke's eyes stayed narrowed, but he nodded. "Thank you."
Sanoma nodded and walked away. Sasuke was left alone.
Now, how do I open this door?
Another five minutes were spent racking his brain (and walking across the floor, up the walls, across the ceiling, down the wall, and repeat, which was actually quite fun) until Sasuke remembered something. It was an old memory, buried deep in his mind. Sasuke couldn't even remember who told it to him.
Recent studies show that the so-called "blood seals" can actually be deactivated with any of the user's DNA.
The meaning had flown over his head when he was young, but now he understood.
If you have even a sample of someone's flaked-off skin, you can open their blood seal.
But surely the Hokage had updated the seal.
Maybe not.
That's how we find Sasuke crawling around the wooden floors, desperately trying to find a piece of Sarutobi hair.
When he did, he smiled. "Finally!"
He placed the small piece of hair in the middle of where the seals had been and, low and behold, the door swung open. Grinning, Sasuke walked in.
The library was huge. Not as huge as the Uchiha's, but there was definitely more sensitive information in here. After scouring the shelves, he found what he was looking for.
The Scroll of Seals.
Sasuke's grin widened. He made his way back to the storage room. The Chuunin was still unconscious. Sasuke was about to leave, but he paused. He glanced back at the Chuunin.
There was really no point in leaving him like that...and what if he could recognize Sasuke's smell or voice?
Three minutes later, Sasuke was in the clearing that Sakura, Naruto, and he agreed to meet in. As for the Chuunin? Well...
(Sasuke stood on the banks of a river, a jar in his hands. He took the lid off of it and emptied the contents, a fine dust, into the running water. He then rinsed out the jar. "I'll probably sterilize it when I go home," he muttered. "No need for anyone to find some of the Chuunin's DNA.")
In the clearing, he found Naruto and Suyo burying a dead body and Sakura clutching her stomach, muttering something about throwing up.
"Now, Sakura," Sasuke said wryly, "you haven't gone soft on us now, have you?"
"Shut up!" Sakura hissed. "It's a long story!"
"Really?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. "Do tell."
"Well..."
Sakura Haruno opened the gates to her house. Along the straight path to her front door servants were lined up, bowing.
"Welcome home, Lady Sakura!"
Sakura nodded and walked down the pathway. When she entered inside, the first thing she noticed was the blood on the walls. Sighing, she called out, "Mother?"
"Yes Sakura, dear-AH!"
Mebuki Haruno jumped back, startled, when she noticed the blood. "What on Earth-"
"Goryu probably offed someone without my permission again," Sakura said. "Honestly, when will he learn?"
"I don't care who did it!" Mebuki yelled. "I just want it gone and for it to never happen again! Do you not realize how scary it is?!"
"I'm sorry, Mother," Sakura said. She turned and yelled, "GORYU!"
A tall bald man with a bulky build ran in. "Y-Yes Lady Sakura?"
"Did you do this?"
"Y-Yes."
"You know my rules."
"I know. 'If you kill someone, you clean up the mess.'"
"Then why didn't you?"
"...I don't know."
Sakura sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Whatever. If you do this again, I'm putting you on home duty, you got that?"
"Y-Yes Lady Sakura!"
"Good. Now, for the rest of the day, you need to listen to whatever my mother says, got that?"
"Yes!"
"Okay. I'll be back in five minutes."
While Sakura walked away, she heard her mother yell, "I WANT THIS PLACE SPOTLESS BY THE TIME MY DAUGHTER COMES BACK! AND NEXT TIME, DO IT OUTSIDE! I swear, I'm going to die of a heart attack one of these days..."
"Y-Yes, Honorable Mother!"
Sakura grinned. It was fun when she wasn't the one her mother was yelling at.
By the time Sakura had taken her shower and come back, the room was clean. Sakura was honestly impressed.
When she walked into the kitchen, though, she was anything but impressed. (She ended up gagging. A lot)
"Look, dear!" Sakura's mother exclaimed. "I've made your meal!"
"...what happened to the cook?"
"Don't know, he didn't show up. However, I have this sinking feeling in my gut that Goryu killed him."
"Well, Goryu never did like Himoto."
Mebuki nodded. "Now, eat up!"
"Er...I'm fine!"
Sakura's stomach chose that moment to growl in hunger.
"Sakura, you're hungry! Eat!"
Sakura sighed. She sat down on her table and choked down the food that her mother put out for her.
"M-Mother," Sakura managed, "w-what was that?"
"Your grandmother's signature dish!" Mebuki exclaimed. "Rice and cricket pudding!"
Mebuki smiled. The smile turned into a frown when she saw that her daughter had suddenly disappeared. On the table was a note.
Need to meet up with Sasuke and Naruto. Please don't ever make that again.
-Sakura
"...huh."
"Huh."
"Yeah, I'm trying my best not to throw up."
"I see." Sasuke turned to Suyo and Naruto. "What about you two?"
Naruto, who patting the dirt down flat so that it was level with the rest of the forest floor, said, "Well..."
"Okay," Naruto muttered, book in his hands, "let's do this." He was about to open it when there was a knock at his door. Naruto frowned. He wasn't expecting anyone.
Another knock followed. Then another. And then another. Then there was a large thud.
He carefully made his way to the door, a kunai held behind his back. "Who is it?"
"It's Suyo."
Naruto let out a breath of relief. Suyo was one of Sakura's men. He opened the door and found that Suyo was, indeed, there. Thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, though, was someone Naruto did not recognize. Naruto tensed. Had Suyo accidentally offed someone and come to him for help? Again? Naruto wasn't getting tangled in that hot a second time, thank you very much.
"...who's that?"
"Judging from the insignia on his back," Suyo said, "he works for the Himura family."
"Oh," Naruto said, suddenly relaxed. "Was he going to break down my door?"
"Yep."
"Thanks for intercepting him. Geez, looks like he's bleeding pretty heavily."
"Yep."
"I've got some bleach and duct tape. We can wrap him up, and you already know the way to the forest."
"Yep."
"You going to say anything more than one syllable?"
"Nope."
"I see."
"...is there a reason he was after you?"
"So it speaks!" Suyo just stared at him, and Naruto sighed. "I owe the Himura family around...6,000 Ryo, I think."
"...you have more than enough money to pay it back."
"I know," Naruto said sheepishly, "I, uh, forgot that I owed them until now."
"...you idiot."
"Hey!"
Sasuke's eye twitched. He then sighed. "Whatever. I got the Scroll of Seals."
"How many people'd you have to kill to do that?"
"One."
"Hm, that's pretty low."
"I know."
There was a short silence. Then, Suyo said, "I've got to go. The other men demanded I come home and stop the Honorable Mother from cooking."
Sakura nodded. "Suyo, you have my blessings."
"Thank you, Lady Sakura." And Suyo was gone.
"I never did figure out how he does that," Naruto muttered. He shook his head. "Nevermind. Now, Sasuke, Sakura, let's learn some awesome jutsu!"
Sasuke nodded and tossed Naruto the giant scroll.
"Let's see...Impure World: Reincarnation, Death Style: Explosion Technique, Death Style: Suicide Technique...AHA! Shadow Clone Jutsu! Judging from the chakra cost, I should be able to do this easily."
"What about us?" Sasuke asked.
"Well, Sasuke has a decent chakra pool, so he might be able to make one or two...Sakura, I don't think you can make one at all."
"It's okay. I think I'll try Impure World: Reincarnation. How much is the chakra cost?"
"Surprisingly, not that much. However, you do need a human sacrifice and a piece of who you want to reincarnate's DNA..."
"That's not a problem," Sakura said, waving her hand dismissively. "However, since you two get the Shadow Clones, you can't learn Impure World: Reincarnation."
"Deal."
Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura grinned. "Well then, let's start learning before someone finds us."
"NARUTOOOOO!" Iruka roared. When got to the clearing where he suspected Naruto was, though, he paused. "Sasuke? Sakura?" He suddenly scowled. "Don't tell me you two were also in on it."
"In on what?" Naruto asked, confused. Sasuke tilted his head in confusion (which was quite adorable) and Sakura raised an eyebrow.
"You-You stole the Scroll of Seals!"
"What are you talking about? Mizuki-sensei said I could graduate if I got it!"
"Wha-DUCK!"
"Ooh, where?! I love ducks!"
Sakura tackled Sasuke to the ground, glaring at him. Sasuke shrugged. "What? I like ducks!"
Iruka dragged Naruto to the ground. Just in time, too. A giant shuriken flew over their heads.
Mizuki appeared. He grinned viciously and said, "So, you've figured me ou-Wait, what are you two doing here?" He pointed at Sasuke and Sakura.
Sakura shrugged. "You know, the usual. Trying not the throw-up, keeping Sasuke from being stupid, and encouraging Naruto to be stupid."
"And what does that say about you?" Sasuke muttered.
"That I'm awesome."
"Yeah ri-"
"Shut up!" Mizuki snapped. "Get out of here unless you want to die!"
Sasuke blinked. "I'm not the suicidal type, but I'll stick with Naruto."
"Same here," Sakura said.
Mizuki smirked. "Okay, but I wonder how long you'll stick around after you hear Naruto's little secret."
"Italics," Naruto and Sakura muttered. Sasuke ignored them.
"What secret?"
Iruka's eyes widened in horror. "Mizuki, no! It's forbidden!"
Mizuki's smirk grew wider. "On October 10th twelve years ago, the Fourth Hokage never killed the Kyuubi, he sealed it into a person-"
"MIZUKI, STOP!"
"-that person...was Naruto Uzumaki! NARUTO UZUMAKI IS THE VERY DEMON THAT DESTROYED THE VILLAGE TWELVE YEARS AGO!"
There was a short silence. Then, Sakura said, "Oh, is that all? Yeah, we already know that. So does pretty much everyone else, so, you know, it's not that much of a secret..."
Sasuke and Naruto nodded along. Iruka gaped. "W-What?! Who told you?! It's forbidden to speak of!"
"Er..."
A four-year-old Naruto blinked, shocked. "Eh?"
"Y-Yeah," the man he was sitting across from said. "The Fourth Hokage sealed the Kyuubi no Kitsune inside of you."
"Huh," Sasuke muttered, standing behind him. "That kind of makes sense. Naruto's got the fox whiskers and was born on the day and stuff..."
"I guess it checks out," Sakura said. "Suyo, you take the kunai away from his neck now."
Suyo nodded. Sakura leaned forward, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. "The next time you need to tell any of us something, threatening is not the way to do it. Suyo can be quite clumsy at times, you know?"
"Y-Yes...sorry kids."
Sasuke's eyes flashed. Five minutes later, Naruto sighed.
"Sasuke, did you have to dismember him on my carpet? Do you have any idea how long it will take to clean this up?!"
"I make no apologies."
"It was just a rumor we heard," Sakura finished.
"I was kind of expecting him to 'reveal' a bigger secret. For example, Naruto being the son of the Fourth Hokage. Now that would have been a great reveal!" Sasuke said, nodding.
"W-What?" Iruka and Mizuki synced.
Naruto blinked. "Uh, Sasuke? That's, like, an S-class secret."
"...oh. Oops."
"Y-You're really the Fourth's son?" Iruka asked. Naruto nodded.
"Yep...and I just realized that Mizuki-sensei tricked me, so I'm ready to kick his butt."
Ten minutes, exactly a thousand and one Shadow Clones, and a surprisingly intimidating smirk later, Mizuki was on the ground.
Iruka watched on, shocked.
Mizuki coughed up blood. "You little babies have to do more than that to ki-"
"FIRE STYLE: GREAT FIREBALL JUTSU!"
And so Mizuki died via fireball from an enraged Sasuke.
"No one calls me a baby," Sasuke hissed.
There was a silence before, "Italics."
"SHUT UP!"
ANBU were crawling around the scene. That ended up including Itachi Uchiha.
Sasuke winced. His brother was livid.
"Little Brother," Itachi hissed behind his crow mask, "what on Earth were you doing here?"
"Well...Naruto said that Mizuki gave him another test to become Genin, and I wanted to support him."
"And you didn't think there was anything fishy about stealing the goddamn Scroll of Seals?!" Sasuke winced once again.
"I did say that I was doing something idiotic."
Itachi sighed, shaking his head. "You also said you wouldn't get in trouble."
"And I'm not."
"What makes you so sure about that?"
"I'm the second son of the Uchiha Clan Head. As far as most people are concerned, I'm the victim of a traitor."
"...while that's true, it's hardly ethical."
"Well, saying I'm morally skewed would be like saying Hashirama Senju was a good Shinobi: Technically true, but putting it way too mildly."
"I don't even want to know."
Naruto ended up getting promoted to Genin ("YESYESYESYESYESYESYES-" "Shut the hell up.") and everything was fine...until Sasuke got home.
Mikoto was waiting, furious, at the front door.
"So, Sasuke dear," Mikoto said, her voice sugary sweet, "how was your sleepover?"
"It was pretty good...got a little boring in the middle, though."
"Get inside."
"Yes Mother."
Sasuke suddenly understood what Naruto and Sakura were saying about italics. The scolding he received made him well-versed with them.
And that wasn't even the worst part.
Sasuke was in his room, panting slightly. "Kami, that was horrifying."
Itachi nodded, sorting out Sasuke's bag (he didn't even question the kunai, shuriken, and various other weapons). "I don't think I've ever seen Mother that mad at anyone."
"Italics," Sasuke said.
Itachi blinked. "What?"
Sasuke ignored him and started pacing around his room. "So," he muttered, "do you think they'll still be mad in the morning?"
"Definitely," Itachi said. Then he paused. The room temperature seemed to drop a dozen degrees.
"Sasuke," Itachi said, his voice frigid, "why does this jar smell of human ashes?"
Sasuke froze. Oh no.
"Well?"
"..."
"I didn't want to bring this up," Itachi said quietly, "but where do you go when you leave the house at night?" His eyes widened. "A-And that night when you came home drenched in blood! I had meant to confront you the next morning but I was sent away on a mission! Sasuke, what's going on?"
Sasuke turned away from his brother. "It's quite a tale-"
"Sasuke."
"-that I will not be telling you-"
"Sasuke."
"-but what I will tell you-"
"Sasuke."
"-is something you're not going to like-"
"Sasuke."
"Italics. Now...have you heard of the Kuro ie?"
A look of pure horror crossed Itachi's face.
Welp, Sasuke thought, this is going to be fun.
It wasn't.
- End of Chapter One -
And chapter one is complete! Now, I'm going to be heading to my grandmother's house in a few days, and I will be traveling after that, so I might not get to post as often. If I don't post anything for the rest of this month or July...I'll definitely start again in August, so don't worry! (Just don't expect a post on, like, August 1st)
Remember to Follow, Favorite, and Review! Especially Review. They're always appreciated! Please point out any spelling or grammatical errors or just express any concerns you have. I'll be sure to address them!
Anyway, I'll address the Reviews I've gotten so far now:
Uzumaki no Rinne-Sennin, tiffanycr, and Claudia Alexandria Zoldic: I'm really happy that you all liked my fic so much! It really means a lot to me! I hope that I live (er...write) up to your expectations!
scribblequote: I continued writing it! I like Team 7 fics, too (that was the whole reason I made this), and I'm glad that you see as much potential in this story as I do!
unifrog1331: There was a huge (internal) debate, but I decided to skip their Academy days. I wanted to keep with the original story's timeline so it could be my guide. However, I will explore their Adacemy days in later chapters. I have yet to write out Itachi's reaction to Sasuke...but I want to make it hilarious. As for Shisui...I something interesting in mind. I don't how many chapters until it comes into play, but I guarantee that it will be awesome!
AkabaneKazama: I was originally going to make Kakashi normal, but you just gave me an idea! I'll be introducing him in the next chapter (along with Konohamaru) and I hope you like what I've done with him!
And to the Guests that Reviewed, I'm sorry that I can't answer. It would probably be confusing since there were three of you. I'd have to put in the full quote or something...but rest assured that I did read your Reviews!
I'll try to answer all the Reviews I get (which should be easy since I'm not that popular and not a lot of people like to Review), but if I don't, know that I like to read every Review.
(Number of times the word "Review" was said in this Author's Note [including this time]: 9)
Anyway, I think that's it for now. Until next time, this is SSSRHA, signing out!
