Apocalypsis
Ch2: Grandpas, Christians, and an Overall Bad Time
Note to self, fighting fire giants is not a good idea under any circumstances. Unless a nuclear armament was present or some magical golden sword, I had no chance of beating this guy in a fair fight. In my defense, I was putting a fairly good fight. I'm guessing surviving half an hour under a constant barrage was a world record against this guy.
No matter what I pulled out my arsenal, be it magic or firearms, nothing seemed to penetrate his defense. He seriously chewed on my bullets and spat out molten metal. In normal circumstances I would have called for as much back up within my power, but the heat the giant exuded fried my comms to a crisp whilst giving me a Jersey shore tan. Also did I mention he could change his size? Also the fire midgets. I hate fire midgets. Especially the ones wielding kebabs.
I raised my right palm towards the giant, praying internally that my spell would somehow work. "Glacies Lanceam!" I chanted.
Several large ice spears magically appeared in front of me, nearly ten feet in length. My staff had long been burnt to a crisp, so I had to fight manually without a conductor. It took every cell in my body to concentrate enough to conjure a spell. A lot harder when the temperature was as high as a sunny Arizona day.
My spears shot forwards in the blink of an eye, hitting several of the little kebab wielding fire midgets. After the initial impalement, most turned into obsidian colored dust, but some just turned to stone right then and there.
He sneered, "You think this weak excuse of magic can hurt the great Surt?"
Odd name, but I wasn't surprised by much. Most magical beings had complicated names. Eh nothing new.
Surt raised his right hand and a flaming great sword materialized within it. My heart dropped then and there. The bastard was toying around with me for the past half hour. Pretending that I was at least close go him in terms of power. The pressure he exerted multiplied tenfold after he summoned his sword.
I wracked my brain for ideas. So far a big far nothing was coming up. I could get on my hands and knees while begging for mercy but Surt didn't seem like the forgiving type. After another scan of my surroundings, a glimmer of hope appeared. One of the fire midgets had turned to stone near me and had yet to crumble. An absolutely crazy idea came to mind.
Summoning magic.
Maybe I could summon something bigger and meaner than Surtr. It was a long shot sure, but I was willing to try anything at this point. Or maybe the statue would be seen as repulsive by whatever I was trying to summon and proceed to kill me. Meh, I'll take my chances.
I closed my eyes and dropped to my knees. "Ignia grando vocare deum..." I whisper, praying with all my might that some deity or superhero picked up my call.
Surt must have heard me because he burst into unrestrained laughter. "Yes! Pray to your gods fool! See if they can kill me!" He continued to walk towards me in an unbridled manner, dragging his big ass word behind him further destroying the already crappy road.
"Ahem, did somebody call?" An aged voice called out. The owner of the voice was an elderly man who wore a fire red Hawaiian shirt and brown khakis. Who the hell answered my call? Someone from the retirement home?
The old man looked thoughtfully at me through his sunglasses. "You know I haven't been called since the ninth or tenth century!" He motioned for compensation with his hands. "You got any cheddar boy?"
Dumbstruck, the only thing I could do was point at the massive sword Surt was carrying. Best case scenario was that grandpa over here was actually some over powered ancient god that could curb stomp the flaming giant. Worst case was that I summoned some minor god of campfires or something. Please, if there was a higher being watching me, bless me with good luck this one time.
The old man took off his shades with a beaming smile. "Oh ho, hey Surt. Wanna let me borrow that sweet piece of hardware you got?"
My face fell when I heard the honest question. Maybe he was on friendly terms with Surt? I sure as hell hoped not. Being killed by TWO magical beings was not very high on my bucket list, aside from spiders, clowns, and being tagged teamed by three supernatural beings. The spell I used was a bit vague in terms of course. It was along the lines of, Hail lightning to call God. Good enough to get the job done, but not so much when trying to get a specific mythological being.
To my utter surprise, Surtr got even more pissed. I could only tell because the temperature increased another oh ten thousand degrees or so.
"Get out of my way Eate." Surtr growled as he raised his sword into a battle stance. "An old man like you should just fade into obscurity."
The elderly looking gods expression shifted dramatically to explosive fury. "Who the fuck are you calling old man?" He retorted. "I should be calling your old ass that. Aren't you several centuries older than me?!"
Thunder and lightning crackled in the sky above as it began to rain heavily. Several tornadoes formed above me, threatening to blend me into a Mason smoothie if I didn't haul ass out of there. Fire and ice started to form on the old mans hands. He looked like the epitome of what a god should look like, minus the Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. Thank the gods someone with actual power was summoned. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket with my luck.
Old fart literally threw lightning and tornadoes at Surt. Whereas Surt just waved his monster hunter sized sword around awkwardly. But with each swing, the amount of force exerted was enough to split the winds and deflect the lightning.
I instantly went for cover behind a severely battered Prius, although I couldn't tell if it was the fight that messed it up or the person who owned it. You never know with Prius drivers. Silently, I peered over the car to get a good look at the battle just in case.
The battle was going as one would suspect between two ancient deities. Shrapnel, roadside, Prius. All sorts of debris was flying around. Inwardly I hoped my comrades had gotten far enough away to contact headquarters and call in some back up. I seriously did not want to test my fate anymore. Although, the insults the two deities were flinging at each other was freaking hilarious. Imagine a rap battle inside a care home full of elderly hopped up on red bull. While distracted by the fight and my jumbled thoughts, I sadly, failed to see the newfound presence next to me.
"Hells bells!" I exclaimed in surprise.
"Hi there." The person replied.
Along with a big Christian cross, he was also wearing a dark colored European priest uniform and then some. A long sword was strapped to his waist and a shotgun on his back, making him look more like a Hollywood movie actor than a priest. I mean come on, the dude had blonde hair and blue eyes and looked way better than me without even trying. Why is life so unfair?
"Who are you?" I urgently asked. "Can't you see whats going down here? You need to escape from here as fast as possible."
I tried to pull him away from the wrecked car but he refused shaking his head with a smile. "Friend I can fully see the spectacle going on over there." He laughed. "I am perfectly fine. But the question is, why are you here?"
That pissed me off big time. You know when people answer questions with questions. It is seriously unproductive.
"Fine. I doubt any sane mortal would come within a mile of this place anyway." I said more than a little ticked off. "Mason Alabaster, technomancer from the Evernight Mercenaries."
That got his attention. He studied my face with a raised brow. It was either that I was easy on the eyes or he knew what E.V.M was. Lets go with the first option.
He started to contemplate deeply. I could tell because he brought both his palms to his head and made a constipates expression. "What on Earth...? Why is even Evernight also involved..." He muttered with a dejected.
His eyes widened briefly before he tackled me to the ground. "Get off me asshole!" I yelled.
My initial thought was that he was trying to kill me. Until I saw the remains of a Ford pick up where I once was. I imagined if I didn't go back and turn off the stove this morning, maybe I would be a piece of masonry now. Get it? Cause my names Mason? Okay, fine. Also priest boy may have played a part in it. Fine, maybe a big part.
Priest boy looked me straight in the eyes. "We should help out that old man over there." He said pointing towards the fight. "This is getting out of control and I rather not be responsible for wiping out half of Boston."
"Fair enough, but what can we do huh?" I said.
Wordlessly, he brandished his sword, which by the way glowed like a freaking lightsaber. "You use magic and I'll go in for the kill." Tapping his holy lightsaber on the pavement. "I doubt a pagan deity can handle my blade."
"Great. I swear to your god if we die I better get a full ride to heaven." I jokingly said, half scared, half resigned.
And to that he laughed.
"Christian." He said. "My names Christian."
"Pfft. Like-"
He flashed me a stink eye. "Yeah I know. My names Christian and I'm a Christian from a Christian family."
I raised my hands in defeat.
"Well shit. Let's do this then."
