A/N: It's alive! It's alive! It's- No! It's a monster! Stop it! Stop it!

Things starts to pick up from here ;)

Tainted Purple

Chapter 1

She was dreaming. She knew she had to be. The house was dark, but there was noise coming from the direction of the living room. Happy noise, filled with laughter. It was most definitely a dream. She took a step forward. Towards the sound, the noises. She saw them from the light of the television. She saw them, turn towards her. She saw, with paralyzing fear, their rotting skin, their eyeless sockets, their gaping mouths drowned in foam and blood. She saw, behind them, the grinning face of her nightmare. He taunted her, smiling that faceless smile.

Then she gasped, waking up. She flexed her hands, gasping, panting, fighting the urge to destroy something. She managed to calm herself before going back to sleep. She had another day tomorrow…

She almost fell forwards when the bus screeched to a stop outside an abandoned warehouse. She couldn't help but give a small smirk. The bus door opened and he got out from the bus, dragging the bags of money after him. He hadn't told her what to do so she just helped in dumping the bags into the warehouse after him. After they were done, he dumped kerosene onto the bus and lit it to make a bonfire. Then he turned to her. He looked at her, studied her, observed her, and licked his lips.

"Go on, run along," he cocked his head to the street. "Before I change my mind."

He then walked past her, into the warehouse. She stood there, blinking stupidly, and then mentally slapped herself. She spun around and ran after him. No, why was she running after him, she should be running away. Hello! She entered the warehouse and looked around at all the boxes and steel pipes piled around haphazardly. He was right in front of her, taking off his coat and hanging it on a steel pipe. He was changing. She could see his usual purple suit hanging on the other side. She took a step forward and he turned around. She froze.

"Excuse me," he said in a patronizing voice. "It's rude to watch people change."

She opened her mouth to reply but decided not to and merely turned around to face away. She waited as patiently as she could, hearing the soft rustling of fabric being taken off and put on. She wanted to peek, but she was afraid he might throw a knife into her eye or some such. Then there was silence behind her, no more rustling. She slowly moved her head to the side to look but something suddenly caught her hair and pulled her head back. She let out a cry, then felt his warm breath on her neck. She wanted to faint, maybe he'll spare her the pain.

"Ohh," he said in her ear. "I thought I told you to hit the road before I changed my mind. You got a death wish, sugar pie?"

She laughed nervously. "You could say that."

She turned her head to look at his face, which was much too close to hers for her comfort. She stared openly at him then, taking in every single detail of his paint-covered face. There was a prolonged moment of silence. Then a giggle cracked the air. She couldn't help it. She wanted to stab herself. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"What's so funny?" he demanded, sounding like he'd been mortally offended.

"You remind me of a baby panda," she said without thinking.

Maybe it was his aura. Maybe she was under some kind of post-traumatic shock that made her mind shut down and think irrationally. Hell, maybe after all these long years, she finally decided to snap. Whatever it was, she was in deep shit already anyway. He was going to skin her alive. Then… feed her skin to a pack of rabid dogs or something. Then he'll throw her skinless body into his bus bonfire and roast marshmallows over it. He stared at her for a long time and she was beginning to feel like her life was threatened. She stopped and stared back at him. Then he started laughing. So she laughed along with him as well. They went at it for a while, when all of a sudden there was a sharp tug on her scalp. He had pulled her hair again and now, threw her to the ground. He drew two long sharp knives out from his coat. He was no longer laughing.

Shit. Shit, her mind thought frantically.

"You're suicidal, aren't ya?" he asked her, licking his lips, then raising his voice. "Aren't ya?"

"Well, as much as you are," she replied him.

Yep, definitely had lost her marbles.

"What?" he stopped short in his tracks.

"Well, I don't know, other people might think criminals such as you are suicidal too, you know," she talked rapidly. Whatever, if she was going to die, she might as well make something of it. "Willingly throwing yourselves into danger, provoking the cops to come at ya. And especially with the Batman too, you know, who can like beat you up and stuff with his gadgets and his car and his motorcycle. You know, maybe-umph!"

She was cut off as he covered her mouth with his gloved hand. She looked at him as he looked up in thought, lightly touching the tip of his knife to his chin.

"Hm, that's another way to look at it too," he grinned. "Never heard of suicidal before. Insane, yes, psychotic, crazy, freakish, schizophrenic… not suicidal though… Nope… don't think I have…"

She waited patiently for him to stop musing and remove his hand from her mouth. About five minutes passed like that, and she decided she'd have enough of his hand pressing against her breathing paths. So she licked him. It didn't have its full desired effect though, as he was wearing gloves, and it took her a couple of tries until he realized what she was doing. He took his hand off her and began playing with his knives, observing her again. He still wondered why she wasn't scared shitless of him. Anyone would, really, just by taking a look at his face and his knives. Hell, his voice alone sent shivers up a grown man's spine. It was always funny to watch, all he had to do was laugh and they'd bolt like hell.

"So, if you're not suicidal, why are you here?" he asked her.

"So you don't think you're suicidal?" she asked.

There was a thud next to the wooden pillar next to her. She looked to her left and saw his knife embedded in the wood, about an inch from her face. She fought the urge to shiver.

"Answer the freakin' question," he said impatiently.

"I thought that since you brought me here," she began. "I might as well enjoy the ride while it lasts. I'm on a whole different ride now. Hell, I don't think I could stop it anymore unless I bash you on the head right now and make a mad dash for it. But I'm not gonna do that. If I wanted to run away, I wouldn't have turned around earlier."

"Why?" he demanded.

"Well, really, frankly," she touched her bottom lip with a finger and looked up in thought. "I'm sick of life."

"So you are suicidal," he raised an eyebrow. "Lookin' for a favour from the Joker?"

"Suicidal, no," her eyes widened. "Favour… maybe?"

"What does that mean, huh?" he jabbed another one of his knives at her.

"You think I could work for you?" she asked, getting morbidly excited. "Rob another couple of banks or whatever it is you usually do when you're not tangoing with the Bat."

Definitely, unquestioningly, undeniably lost her freaking mind. What the hell was she thinking? Stupid!

The Joker continued watching her, mulling about it in his mind as he played around with his knife, twirling it, sliding it across his lips, licking it. He actually didn't think it was such a bad idea. He could probably even get some kick out of it. In fact, he was quite sure he would get a kick out of it. Maybe he'd be able to use her to get the Batman, stupid bat-marauding vigilante that likes rescuing damsels in distress… distressing damsels… Heh. But how did he know that she wouldn't rat him out in the end? Then he remembered her eyes back at the bank when she was aiming at that guy's head. He also remembered her purple nails, which made him glance down at them. Her eyes, those eyes, they were a murderer's eyes. He knew a squealer when he saw one. He also knew a killer when he saw one. This girl was definitely not a squealer and definitely a killer. Why, he was quite sure she'd had pulled the trigger if the cops weren't fast on their way.

Hm, maybe he'd have to test her… Now, what the hell is she doing?

"Hello?" she had managed to crawl over to him unnoticed and began waving her hand in front of his face.

"Get the hell away," he growled.

She huffed but backed off all the same. He continued to eye her warily.

"Made up your mind whether to keep or throw me?" she asked.

He raised another eyebrow. She was actually talking about herself like a piece of thrash? Well, that's certainly something that earned points in his book. He let out a laugh, a sort of mad cackling laugh that made the girl scowl.

"Now what's so funny?" she crossed her arms, quite sure that he was laughing at her now.

She was also quite sure by now that losing her mind with this guy was going to spare her life. So she was going to completely lose her mind now. Kick it to the curb and all. But it was actually kind of hard to go bonkers with a creepy paint covered clown in front of you cackling like mad. It was really, really creepy. It took a moment or two for him to stop laughing. Then he stood back up, dragging her upright along with him.

"Alright," he said, licking his lips again.

"Alright?" she looked at him in surprise and wariness. He could just be saying that, then when she turned around, he'd stick a knife in her head.

"Yeah, alright," he nodded. "Besides, I needed to hire some other guys to help me. But you'll do just fine."

She could almost laugh at the absurdity of it all. Not only was she still alive, but the Joker had actually agreed on letting her tag along with him. Was it Christmas? Ugh, apparently not, her insides twist as he led her into some other room of the warehouse. Inside were about three dead rotting corpses. Five days old from the looks of it. The stink was unbearable. It was all she could do to not make a wild dash and deposit her insides into the nearest bucket. Did she mention the blood? What if it got onto her, huh? She didn't exactly have spare clothes in her pockets.

"Come, come, now, don't make that face," the Joker grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm sure you're used to this."

He laughed and grabbed one guy's legs, dragging him along the floor. He paused and looked up at her.

"Well, come on! Get his arms, it'll be faster that way!" he told her.

"Ugh," she sighed in disgust. "The things I do. Honestly."

The Joker merely grinned slowly at her. And somewhere, in some unknown, obscure part of her mind; she knew this to be a rather beautiful relationship.