A/N: Got nothing to say except, have fun! ;)


Chapter 2. Sei's Dilemma


Satou Sei woke up with a start. Gasping for breath, she looked around her and realized that it was morning already. She glanced at the alarm clock at the study table.

7:55?!

'I'm late!'

She nearly fell over the bed as she hurriedly got up. Cursing the blanket, she went straight to bathroom and took a quick shower. In less than 15 minutes, she was ready.

"Late again," mouthed by the black-haired woman in the name of Katou Kei as Sei sat beside her. Class, of course, had started already.

Sei ignored Kei and pretended to listen to the professor's lecture, but in reality, her mind was somewhere else thinking about another certain black-haired woman named Mizuno Youko. She couldn't help thinking about her. Ever since Youko's visit, she hunted her dreams, whether she was asleep or not. She could still see Youko's sad yet determined eyes. She had spent many sleepless nights debating with herself. Of course she had a pretty good guess about Youko's feelings, but she ignored it ever since. She didn't want to hurt Youko. She couldn't love her back except as a friend. When Kubo Shiori left her, she vowed to herself that she'd never love again.

When Toudou Shimako became her petite soeur, she felt contented and yet she distanced herself. Having someone she cared about and cared for her was enough.

And then there was Kanina Shizuka. Indeed, she was a beautiful woman. However, aside from admiration, she couldn't feel anything more for her other than as a friend.

And of course, when she started college, she met Kei, someone who was almost like Youko, a meddler and with a strong personality. She couldn't help but like her, as a friend, and sometimes, a little more than that. But that was all.

'Heh, I'm so gorgeous that beautiful girls are after me,' she thought sarcastically.

"Satou Sei, how long are you going to sit there?"

Kei's loud voice broke Sei's reverie. She blinked, then looked around. Class was over.

"Geez, what's with you? It's still too early to be dreaming, Sei."

"Will you stop nagging me? I'm not daydreaming," she denied.

"Yes you are not, just as you aren't blonde," Kei responded sarcastically, not believing her a bit. "You know Sei, why don't you just tell Mizuno-san that you love her too, so that you wouldn't be acting stupid anymore."

"What?"

She looked at her, startled. How the hell did this woman know about Youko's feelings?

"Because I saw it in her eyes, just as I can see it in yours, Sei," Kei answered her unspoken question.

She opened her mouth to protest but closed it again. There was no point in arguing with this woman, she always managed to shut her all the time.

Kei shook her head and then went for the door. Before she reached the door, she looked back and said, "Just a question Sei, can you live without Mizuno-san in your life?"

And then she was gone, leaving her in deep thoughts.

Later on, Sei found herself walking the familiar grounds of Lillian Girls Academy, with Shiori's image playing on her mind. She remembered how the two of them met, how she fell in love and felt so happy, how her world revolved around Shiori and Shiori alone, and how her world was shattered when Shiori left her.

And then Youko's image came into her mind. Youko picking her at the train station with her Onee-sama that fateful day, Youko meddling with her affairs to take Shimako as her petite soeur, and the other little things that Youko did for her though mostly she didn't like, she knew that they were done without malice.

She stopped walking. She now realized. Youko was the only person that was always there for her. Youko was the person who had always picked up and fixed her broken self. Without Youko, she wouldn't have known how to move on. Without Youko's meddling, she probably would have been gone when Shiori was gone.

"So tell me, Youko. What is your problem?" Sei asked after a moment.

"Problem? I don't have any problem, Sei, except that I won't be able to make it home on time if you don't take me back to the station now."

Sei laughed before her expression turned serious.

"I'm not joking, Youko. I know you. You never do things without a purpose."

"Purpose? Well, I'm just looking for a chance to meddle on your affairs, that's all," she said in half-truth.

"Indeed. But I can see that there's more to it, Youko my dear."

When Youko kept quiet, Sei probed deeper.

"You wouldn't want to hear it, Sei, so you'd better take me back and not ask any more questions."

Sei was taken aback. If she was right, then she knew already what Youko was talking about. She didn't know what she would say if Youko suddenly said something so turned the engine of the car.

Sei put her hand on her temple with an angry sigh. How could she be stupid? The only person who had always taken care of her was hurting, hurting because of her. She didn't want Youko to be hurt.

'But what I am going to do? Can I give what Youko wants? Do I love her like that?' She asked herself in succession.

More importantly though, why did she kiss Youko when she was about to leave? What was her reason then? Did she kiss her to ease the sadness in Youko's eyes that she was trying to hide?

Certainly not.

Youko looked so delectable that day that she wasn't able to resist the temptation. But again, it would be back to the questions 'Does she love her like that? Can she really love again?'

And then out of nowhere, Kei's question played in her mind.

Could she live without Youko? What if Youko got married someday? Could she take it?

Her heart almost stopped beating as she imagined Youko in a wedding dress standing beside a man in a tuxedo.

Bloody hell!

There was no way she would let it happen!


A/N: So what's the verdict for this one? Please tell me…

---Arvendell---

31 January 2008