I heard Roger's sharp intake of breath. This couldn't be happening. Roger couldn't have AIDS. April couldn't have AIDS. I already knew our best friend Collins had AIDS. All of my friends were slowly dying around me and there was nothing I could do about it. A lump formed in my throat and hot tears stung my eyes, but I knew we had to find April.
Roger began frantically searching the loft as I ran to the bathroom to wash the tears off my face before Roger saw them, I was sure he was upset enough, I didn't want to worry him more.
I walked into the bathroom and immediately jumped back with a gasp. I had found April. She was lying in the bathtub, she had committed suicide. I stumbled out of the bathroom, colliding with a few walls on my way out. The lump had made it's way back into my throat, and hot tears were streaming down my face.
"What's wrong?!" Roger demanded, grabbing me firmly by the shoulders.
I tried to speak, but couldn't make the words come out. I grabbed Roger by the wrist and pulled him into the bathroom. The moment Roger saw her he began hyperventilating. He pulled his wrist out of my grasp and I heard a thud behind me, but couldn't take my eyes off of April. I heard a low moan of grief and despair coming from behind me. I slowly turned to find Roger laying curled up on the bathroom floor, his face red with tears streaming down it. I knew there would be nothing I could do for him, and slowly walked out of the room to call for someone to come take April away.
The moment I hung up the phone, the realization of what had just happened washed over me. April had given Roger AIDS, felt guilty, and killed herself. Roger had just seen the love of his life, dead, in the bathroom. My walls collapsed and I began sobbing, I ran back into the bathroom where Roger was still curled up on the floor screaming April's name in between gasps, sobs, and moans. I pulled the shower curtain shut and sat down next to Roger, burrying my face in my hands and sobbing with him.
It wasn't long until they came to take April away. I didn't want Roger to watch the men take her body, and I tried to get him up and into his room, or at least to the couch. My strength was gone from all the crying, so I decided to just let him there.
I stayed by Roger's side for nearly 5 hours, it was 11pm and Roger was still sobbing uncontrollably, moaning and calling out his lost love's name. I couldn't take this anymore.
"Roger..." I said, lightly tapping him. I got no response, I didn't know if he could hear me over his sobs. "Roger, you should go lay down and try to get some sleep..." he shook his head no, and rolled back over. Seeing him like this was more than I could take. I began crying again, and made my way to my usual bed, the couch. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep, but it was better laying here than the hard tile floor of the bathroom.
There I lay, listening to Roger's heart-wreching sobs for about another 3 hours. They quieted at around 1am, soon to be replaced by screams of agony. I pulled myself quickly off the couch and ran to his side. He was screaming in his sleep.
"Roger, you have to wake up..." I said, lightly shaking him.
"Mark, I can't do this.. I can't take this," he managed to stutter between sobs.
"I know, Roger, I know." I said comfortingly as I pulled him to his feet. He leaned against me as I pullled him to the couch. I knew the bedroom he had shared with April would be too much for him to take, so I let him sleep on the couch as I lay on the floor. He alternated between screams of agony and calling April's name while he slept.
It was going to be a long night.
