It had been three days since he had walked away. Walked away from his problems. Walked away from his life. Dan never really realised before just how enormous London was, the city being made up of a seemingly endless maze of streets, alleyways, and shops.
However, despite all the options for locations to escape himself, Dan couldn't seem to keep away from their apartment. He would be having a good day, unconsciously fumbling around town, and then the memories would come flooding back. Sometimes it was just too much to take.
It was midnight again and Dan was back at the park. It was like a tie to reality, his last tie to Phil. Looking all around, he noticed he was alone again. All alone. However, it reality, he had felt this way for as long as he could remember, his conscience being in a constant battle for dominance against the other voices. Luckily, his conscience seemed to be winning.
"You know, Phil probably does miss you."
And what gave you that idea?
"Well, he seemed genuinely worried when I left. Like, almost destaught. I hope I didn't hurt him too bad…"
He probably barely notices that you're gone. What if you're in real danger by going back there? You have to stay hidden Dan.
"But he at least deserves an explanation! I just stormed off without telling him anything! I can't help but feel bad… he's my best friend! If I ever hope to be anything more… I have to be honest."
But what about the tattoo? What about the black? You don't know when it could strike!
"If Phil has taught me anything, it's to live life in the moment. I have looked into the future all my life, trying to imagine a better tomorrow. Or a worse one. But the truth is… how will we ever reach that tomorrow if we don't live to our fullest today? Who cares if he shanks me in the forest next month, I'd rather be happy now than to never be again."
…
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Now, let's go back home." And at that, Dan leapt up from his spot on the park bench and started his stride towards the exit. Maybe stepping out of this flower-covered prison will make him one step closer to figuring out how to fix this mess he's put himself in. After all, the event couldn't be that bad.
Right?
Phil hadn't gone outside for three days.
Well, he didn't really go outside much for any reason ever… but this time, it was different. Ever since Dan had waltzed out the (lady)door, Phil hadn't been the same. He hadn't thought straight. He couldn't. It seemed he had gone through every possible scenario in his mind at this point, just trying to figure out some sort of reason to why his friend had just got up and left. Had he gone on a last minute whim to go visit his family?
Yeah, no.
As much as he wanted to believe that the it wasn't his fault, he knew the truth deep inside of him. Dan had been very specific in his words when they talked at the park.
Something neither of us can control.
What is that supposed to mean? What is something that he can't change? He can't be him as a person, right? Recently Dan and him had become closer than ever before, so that couldn't be true! Could he have done or said something in his sleep? Did he just really not like Lord of the Rings?
None of the ideas seemed to stick. Luckily enough, their personas as "Daniel Howell" and "AmazingPhil", didn't tend to be too active on a daily basis, regardless if their friendship was at stake or not. It was normal for the people in their fanbase to tolerate such a thing, so three days of disconnection wasn't that much of a stretch for them not get suspicious. Except for a select few, but nobody listened to the crazies anyway.
The thought reminded him of something…. there never seemed to be a point in time that Dan WASN'T on at least some sort of social media, even if he was only browsing. He might be able to check his sanity by seeing if he had logged into any media lately. Even better yet, he knew the man's weakness: continuous begging and bother over text. If there was any chance of finding his friend and fixing all of this, he needed to be able to contact him first. It's not like he would just bump into him, or at least, not if Phil didn't look first.
A sudden burst of motivation flushed through his veins, bringing him to his feet. If he was going to be able to find his friend any time soon, he had to at least try. And, last time he checked, lounging around moping in the flat didn't count as trying.
So off he went.
At this point in time, Dan was practically skipping his way down the pavement, weaving through streets and past countless road signs. The weather was sunny but slightly overcast, the temperature being a nice cool 13 degrees…. perfect to have a possibly heated conversation. As much as he tried to talk himself out of it along the way, the curly haired man had almost reached the flat already, only being a couple blocks out of the way.
Now that he was this close, he realised something: he didn't have a plan. Or really anything to implicate what he came here to do. He didn't have any flashcards, or mental outline, or scribbles on his forearm… how was he supposed to get through a pressured situation without a script?
He took another deep breath. This is different than American customs. This time, it was his friend. No, his BEST friend. He had been friends with Phil for nine years, so they must be at the point where they could just talk to each other, no matter what the problem is. Even if the problem involved a possible life threatening tattoo and event that could occur or be foreshadowed at any waking moment. Simple. Right?
He could see the building now, his stomach practically doing somarsaults in anticipation. Guess this was it. The conversation that could make or break one of the most important relationships in his entire life. No big deal. Taking one last deep breath, he pushed open the doors of his building, only to bump straight into the tall, lanky giraffe that is Phil Lester.
Phil was in complete shock.
He hadn't really been going at a slow pace when he had began to move towards that door, so when his friend rammed straight into him, Dan was the one to fall. He fell straight backwards onto the pavement, just barely being able to catch himself before his head hit the ground. The boy then looked up and gave him a weak-hearted grin, only to shortly return back to his previously serious expression.
"We need to talk. Please."
The statement caught him by surprise, the feeling only heightened as Dan got to his feet and grabbed his hand, practically dragging him all the way back to the flat. Something about the way the caramel curls atop his head bounced up and down as he walked seemed to leave Phil mesmerized, only snapping out of the trance upon reaching their front door. Dan, despite having not seen him for days, felt no hesitation in simply dragging Phil back onto the couch and sitting right next to him. Just like they used to.
"So. I owe you an explanation."
Phil couldn't really bring himself to respond verbally, so he just nodded. He seemed to still be in more of a daze than reality.
Rather than taking the time to explain everything the long winded way, Dan chose the easiest way possible. With a simple roll up of his sleeve, he revealed his tattoo, gesturing Phil to do the same. Curious, he complied. He realised quickly that the two shared the same design, a fact he had vaguely suspected from the beginning. But that wasn't the most interesting part of his observation. His ears instantly perked up in curiosity.
"Grey?"
That was new. Never in his life had he seen a tattoo with a grey outline, much less his own. Last time he had seen it, the outline had been a dark black, almost raven.
"But… it was black. What happened?" Dan asked curiously, clearly being just as clueless as Phil assumed he would be.
"Is that why you ran away?" Phil replied gently, tilting his head slightly as a result.
Silence. But his expression said everything that he needed to know. His eyes were desperate and scared, his body language tense. Seemed like he hadn't been ready to give up on their friendship just yet either. But then, something else changed.
The outline around Dan's tattoo began to flicker, quickly switching between shades of black, white, and grey. The men stared at the colors with bewilderment, never having seen such a phenomenon anywhere online. And that was supposed to be where you find special effects. The flickers went on for about 30 seconds before it settled on a light shade of grey. And it seemed like it was going to stay that way. Or at least for now.
"Woah…" was all that Phil could make out in that moment, his mind fried. Was that what had happened to his own tattoo while he wasn't paying attention?
"Should we let anyone know about this?" Dan asked, all tension between them having fallen away.
"No… or at least not yet. Maybe there's a community out there somewhere where there are people like us with changing shades!"
"I'm more worried about what this could mean for us, Phil. If black means a bad event and white good, then what's grey? Kinda good, kinda bad? But how can something be good and bad at the same time? Are we the first ones? Will there be any more people like us in the future? What about our fu-"
Dan's rambling was cut off by a sudden embrace, one that was gladly accepted. Taking a deep sigh, Dan laid his head down on his friend's shoulder. The two stayed that way for a while, until the curly haired man pulled away to put his head down on the couch. Phil did the same.
"It's nice to have you back, Dan. We'll figure all this out soon, I promise. Just… don't run away again, ok?"
"Oh trust me, I won't. And, I'm glad you feel that way too, cause I wouldn't want to have it any other way."
