I'm going MIA on vacation for the next week so I thought I'd throw this up on the website in the meantime.

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Robin swore the JLA never dealt with the kinds of trouble he had.

"Star! Star! You gotta help me!"

"Certainly, friend Beast Boy, what is the—meep!"

At Starfire's surprised yelp Robin instinctively looked up from his bird-a-rang and nearly dropped his screwdriver at what he saw. The green changeling was there rapidly rubbing his palms up and down her exposed belly. The Boy Wonder's jaw dropped and a strangled gurgle issued forth.

Before he had a chance to think Beast Boy had pulled his hands away, staring down at them in utter dismay. His shoulders hunched suddenly, head bobbed forward, eyes darting about. Dread surfaced in the former acrobat's mind as he realized the boy was looking for something.

The changeling did an about-face, glittering emeralds landed on the back of a blue hooded head. The empath might have felt the distress marinating the room but the book in her hands was apparently so engrossing she had purposely chosen to ignore the chaos.

"Beast Boy, what the—"

In shocking blaze of green the boy moved from his spot near Starfire to the couch where Raven sat. He stood over her, palms raised in supplication, a look of horrified determination splashed across his elfin features. The empath had time to shoot him a confused glance before the hands descended.

Oh no.

Green hands met gray thighs with a resounding slap. He moved his hands furiously against her legs for several seconds, at which point the common room grew deadly quiet.

Then everything exploded.

Three appliances in the kitchen and the bird-a-rang were enveloped in black and simultaneously burst. Anything not nailed down to the floor began to float. Raven hovered over the couch bleeding tentacles. They lashed out and grabbed up the changeling, hauling him close to a four-eyed face. Her voice snarled in triplicate language no one understood. Beast Boy made a garbled attempt at speaking but was quickly cut off by another round of screeching from the Azarathian. A black circle appeared to their left and the green boy was promptly hurled through it.

The demoness hissed and vanished through the ceiling in a flash of black. Everything that had been floating before instantly crashed back to earth.

Four hours later as Robin attempted to glue a fragment of his bird-a-rang back together a soaking wet (and curiously singed) Beast Boy plodded through the common room doors. He opened his mouth to ask the obvious question but was swiftly interrupted.

"Lotion."

"Wh-What?"

"Lotion." The changeling continued. "I spilled a bottle of lotion on my hands while I was cleaning the bathroom."

"How does…?"

"I didn't want to waste it. So, I tried to find someone with enough skin to rub it off on."

Robin clapped a gloved hand to his forehead and groaned. "Ugh. Just go find Raven and Starfire and apologize. Right. Now."

"Roger that." With a lazy salute the soggy green boy turned and headed out the door.

"This never happens at the JLA. I'm sure of it." He muttered at his bird-a-rang and reapplied another broken piece.