There are some things you just don't do, Nick. -RS
P.S I GOT A REVEIW.
BRAWL- The Videogame.
¨Nick!¨ yelled Artemis, her voice echoing through her temple. (Cue handmaidens covering their ears in pain.) Where was the angsty man when she needed him? Normally he could be found moping on her balcony, but alas, he was no where to be found. She needed someone- and by someone, she meant Nick- to entertain her.
What? Immortal Goddesses get bored easily! Entertain herself? Excuse me? Do you know who you're talking to?! Whichever!
She needed Nick. Flashing to his bedroom, she quickly realized it was empty. Well, that...sucked. Or maybe it was blew. She truly couldn't keep up with this ridiculous language. She flashed herself to the book room, where she first met Nick. No one.
Hmm. Nick was rather particular of her going through his house, but…
Oh well.
She flashed herself to the Living Room. Ah-ha! She found him seated on the ottoman, eyes glued to the television. In his hands was a strange white rod.
¨Nick! I've been calling you for hours!¨ The cajun cursed as his character was promptly thrown off the screen by the villain Master Hand.
GAME OVER.
Fu...!
Breathing deep and trying to keep leash on his temper, Nick turned to face Artemis. For a woman who promised to help him control his hatred, she does a swell job at inciting it.
¨What do you need, Artie?¨ He did his best to keep 'scathing condemnation' out of his tone of voice.
He failed. Offended, Artemis pouted and crossed her arms.
¨I was looking for you! Is that a crime? And all you're doing is playing those...those...under the bridge games!¨ The what games? That was a new phrase. Hell, it even took him a few minutes to understand what she was saying.
¨You mean...underrated? Super Mario Smash Brothers Brawl is NOT underrated. It is fun, and I enjoy it. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be playing it.¨ Artemis thougth for a second, remembering something Nick had mentioned a few weeks ago.
¨That's your opinion!¨ He couldn't believe this. Of all the things he's explained to Artemis about humanity, what she remembers is how to argue like a lawyer.
¨Ever thought of debate club, Artie?¨ She frowned.
¨Debate club?¨ Nick dismissed the notion.
¨Never mind. You say Smash Brothers is underrated, I say it's a good game. How about you try it out and see for yourself?¨ Indigent, Artemis spluttered.
¨A goddesses does not partake of vulgar activities!¨ Now, that's just rude.
¨Vulgar? Really? And se-¨ Artemis covered Nick's mouth with her hand and pushed his face. Not expecting the pressure she applied, he fell off the ottoman.
¨You promised!¨ She reminded him. He couldn't help the roll his eyes.
¨I really don't think that's gonna help matters. Regardless, if you don't at least try the game, you're no better than a four-year-old who won't try a new food. If you haven't tried it, how do you know you don't like it?¨ He looked pointedly at Artemis.
¨How old's your Granddaughter again?¨ Artemis snatched the controller from his hands.
Damn pre-law student.
If Artemis had known he'd be more difficult to argue with than Ash, she would have re-thought matters. Nick allowed himself a small grin in triumph and fetched another controller from his electronic box.
¨I'll let you be first player, since you seem pretty set on that controller.¨ Obviously! thought Artemis.
¨But first, let me use that to go to the main screen...okay, so these are the characters you can choose from. Each one have their own stylized attacks, but the combo's on the controller are the same. Like down a or down b. and this is-¨ So on and so forth.
¨I can choose the character I want?¨ Nick nodded. She briefly thought about it.
¨Which is the strongest?¨
¨Artie...all the characters are strong, depending on who's using them. Although Sonic is pretty OP, along with Snake and Lucario...¨ She wrinkled her nose. Those names didn't sound appealing at all.
¨Zelda's pretty strong. And she's technically two different characters.¨
¨Who?¨ Nick pointed her out on the screen. Well, thought Artemis. She's not to bad looking.
¨What are her qualifications?¨ Nick gave her a strange look (We humans know it to be the 'Are you kidding me' glance, but fortunately, Artie doesn't know that) before sighing and explaining out Zelda's qualifications.
¨She's a Princess, technically a Queen because we almost never see her parents or grandparents. She has the power of Hyrule's...light and is quite a bamf in her own right. Now, if she would just stop being abducted all the time….Also, her alter ego is Sheik, who's a martial artist and weapons expert.¨ Artemis 'hmmed'.
¨How tall is she?¨
¨ARTIE!¨ She pouted.
¨How tall is she?¨ Nick wasn't going to get out of this.
¨Shorter than you.¨ She nodded.
¨Acknowledged!¨
¨Approved, Artie.¨
¨Same thing!¨ After Nick chose Ike as his character, the two of them finally started to play.
-1 Hour later-
¨THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!¨
¨It fell from the sky, Artie. The Hammer is public property.¨ Cue Artie-now Pikachu for diversity's sake-being thrown off the screen.
¨That's it!¨
¨HEY! You do realize that lightning bolt it a cheap move?¨
¨If it was a cheap move, they wouldn't have put it in the game!¨
¨That's what you think- hell no! Who do you think you are?! Jesus?!¨
¨I am a Goddess and I demand that floating Orb!¨
¨Not likely, cher!¨
¨NONONO! I am not going to submit-¨ Cue Pikachu being batted off-screen by Nick, now Link, via special Tri-force move.
LINK, WINNER!
¨AGAIN!¨
...
¨You're not getting it this time! I AM GOING TO-¨
Cue Kirby boiling Pikachu in a vat of stewing vegetables. Nick reclined on the sofa.
¨You think Simi would approve?¨
KIRBY, WINNER!
¨ÄGAIN!¨
...
¨Finally! All the items! Now I just have to-¨
Cue Donkey Kong punching Zelda.
¨NICK! I JUST GOT ALL THE ITEMS!¨ He stuck his tongue out.
¨YOU IMMATURE BRAT!¨ He looked at her innocently.
¨Exactly. You can't blame a kid for being one.¨
DONKEY KONG, WINNER!
¨AGAIN!¨
...
¨YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!¨
¨Ït was bomb, Artie. All I did was throw it.¨
¨There's should be a limit to- Is that a star? Wait, no-¨ Cue Pikachu being blasted off-screen.
Pitt, WINNER!
Artemis stared at the television screen, comatose.
¨Do you want to play again?¨ Nick asked, not really perturbed.
¨YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN MY TEMPLE FOR A WEEK!¨ Artemis flashed herself home, leaving Nick shocked on the couch. The goddess needed to go train her skills. No loss of any kind should be allowed!
...And Nick, that includes beating Bitchy-Heifer-Goddesses at Video games. At all. In any way, shape, or form. There is a time and place to show off...this is not one of them. Although I think Nick would actually let her win most of the games, while Artemis just getting pissed if she lost even one. Like this:
Alternate ending!
-Later that evening-
¨How are you?¨ Kryian asked over the phone.
¨Good. Friend of mine just can't handle a loss of any kind.¨
¨Eh? Like what?¨
¨Smash Brothers Brawl. She lost four out of the fifteen game we played, and has now secluded herself to go train.¨
¨She becoming a hermit?¨
¨If she wasn't before, she is now.¨
