In the middle of the vast ocean you can see many things. Salors working hard, pirates sometimes working, and a giant pool of fish guts. At the very center of the gore is a boat. Inside that boat is one fourth of a man. Said man is bored.
" Fuck everything, fuck monkeys, fuck sharks, and fuck whoever wrote this shit up. I'm looking at you!"
The little fuck nugget points at the sky. Too bad he broke a hole though the boat. And so is the end of the story. With the little fuck nugget not able to grab onto the boat he-
" Like hell I am!"
He bit into the side of the boat. Like a leach, he clings to his life line. Bla Bla, time passes and he feels sand.
" You think anything in there?"
" Na, but maybe there's something on it, maybe."
Two dipshits turn over our heros mighty vessel over. Seeing his saviors he gives them a hug. With his mouth.
" Wha-"
They have fun together. Just learning about each other and talking... with their mouths.
" Get off of him!"
Nice, friendly stuff. Ya... Hugs all around. I got nothing more to say...
" Death yells."
" Oh ya! It's nice being whole again! Now time to see where the fuck I am!"
Trees and the ocean are the only thing to see. Our hero, not wanting to be near the water, goes into the underbrush. Five steps inside he gets a kiss to the dick.
" Why... Wait a minute... I can take the clothes off the dead fucks. Hmm, no, Too fucking dirty for me. "
He gives the snake a meaty kiss back and walks deeper in. Only the sound of crunching and bugs singing can be heard. Until our hero can hear voices in the distance.
" This is going to ether be dinner time or talking time. In both cases my mouth is getting used."
Our hero steps into what looks like a rustic village. Some women ' ,and some men,' look away with sunny cheeks. He walks into the center of the road and poits at his legs.
" Does anyone got spare pants? I don't much care about it, but I think you guys might not like my third leg hanging around."
Another women walks out to see what's happening, goes back inside her building, and back out of the building. She throws a pair of shorts at him and levels a pistol at him.
" Put them on. Now... You the reason the bandits are pissed off so much?"
He takes one look at the shorts, shrugs, and puts them on his head.
" I did use two dirty dogs as pudding pops. Maybe they're mad I didn't share? Anywho, Thanks for the hat btw. Bye!"
Our hero runs into the forest at full sprint. Why you might ask? He doesn't want to burn alive.
"Will the trees save me?"
Smoke starts to rise as he turns to ash. His eyes go wide as he tries to find safety. As his shoulder starts to fall off, he starts to dig for his life.
He stops when he stops feeling pain. Now he has to wait, like a gaint potato in the ground.
