First of all, dear readers, we thank you all for following this **! Also, we pity you. A lot. For your misfortune. Not to mention that we admire your idiocy: you seem to have some Gyffindor traits. Back to track - hey, that rhymes! In any case, we must once again make it clear to you exactly how horrid this is. Remember the previous chapter? Well, this one's worse.
A lot worse.
..You're still reading? Fool.
*Hands another bottle of brain bleach*
Good luck.
(You'll need it)
Voldemort's face suddenly darkened in deadly anger. Who was foolish enough to interrupt his precious family time? The tall snake-like man snapped his fingers once, and the bright lights of the room grew dim until the atmosphere became gloomy enough to fit such a Dark wizard. Voldemort handed Mary-Sue to Bellatrix very carefully, and then snapped his fingers again. Minutes later, Lucius Malfoy Apparated into the room. Without even bothering to ask the reason for his irruption, Voldemort pointed his wand at him and shrieked "Crucio"! Lucius was sent writhing and screeching to the floor. Bellatrix approached carefully, holding Mary-Sue so that she could witness and appreciate her father's handiwork. The baby giggled and pointed at Lucius. Bella kicked the man in the face to hear more of her darling daughter's delightful laughter. Voldemort then killed Lucius with a lazy move of his wand before walking over and tickling Mary-Sue's belly. They were so taken in the sweetness of the moment that none of them heard the shouts and the bangs coming from the lower floors of the building, as if a fight were taking place. Suddenly, the door burst open and Harry Potter stumbled in. 'I'm sorry about that, 's just that it sort of slipped out of my that Ginny have been gaining a bit of weight lately, so she Bat-Bogey'ed me, and-' His eyes fell on Mary-Sue. 'Is that her? Why, she's adorable! Can I hold her?' 'Of course', said Bellatrix, 'Just don't drop her, or you'll find yourself on the wrong end of my Cruciatus!' Everyone laughed - even Mary-Sue giggled a bit. 'Don't worry, I'll be careful', grinned Harry. Voldemort laughed again, and gave his daughter to Harry.
Harry smiled at the red-eyed angel with cray, black hair. 'Oh, who's the cutest li'l baby girl in the whole wide world? You are! Yes, you are!' He then kissed the child on the forehead, before he handed her back to her parents.
'Do you want to be Mary-Sue's godfather, Harry?' Voldemort asked sweetly.
'Er, love to, but I'm already going to be Teddy Lupin's, y'know, so that the poor kid always has someone if some psycho decides to kill his parents for some reason... so that would be a bit too much of a responsability, eh? Besides I'm sure you guys understand, your kid will be way better protected.'
Mary-Sue started whining from rejection, Voldemort's eyes flashed with outrage. 'I certainly understand, Harry,' he said softly, 'but unfortunately, li'l Teddy is going to end up even more alone now.'
With a sharp move of his wand Harry dropped dead to the floor.
'It doesn't matter, my love,' Bellatrix said seriously, rocking Mary-Sue against her chest. 'The whole thing was dumb anyway. Who needs religion when you're the daughter of a God?'
Voldemort blushed. 'Thanks, my darling,' he said, looking down, 'but even though I'm practically a God, I still want to do some things properly. Like, making you a honest woman.' He got down on one knee then, pulling out a very large, emerald-covered ring.
'Oooooooh, sweetheart!' Bellatrix shrieked, almost dropping the baby in her delight, 'can I kill Roddy now? can I? can I?'
'Bella, Bella, you need to learn patience,' Voldemort replied with a low chuckle. 'He'll be my best man, and then we can slaughter him as a party.'
Bellatrix almost fainted at the sheer cruelty of her most generous Lord and lover.
Some time afterwards, after having cuddled and coo'ed and fussed around Mary-Sue, Bellatrix and Voldemort put her back into her crib, and then they walked down the grand staircase together to the living room. Here they found Narcissa and Ginny grieving their lost husbands. Voldemort walked straight over to them with Bellatrix in tow, and then he announced with a broad smile that 'We're getting married!' Narcissa looked up from her handkerchief, Ginny from the picture of her and Harry's wedding day. 'Really? OMG, congratulations!' the two screamed in unison. They jumped up from their seats, and hugged the happy couple. 'I'm so happy for you, sister! For you too, my Lord!' squealed Narcissa. 'Just call me Tom', said Voldemort, 'We're family now, remember?' Ginny didn't say anything, she just hugged the two. 'So, who'll be the maid of honor?' Bellatrix and Voldemort froze. They hadn't thought of that! Oh dear, what were they going to do? 'Um..' began Bella, before she looked at Voldemort for support. 'Um...' echoed Voldemort, looking just as helpless as his fiancée. 'Um... Mary-Sue will be our maid of honor!' shouted Bellatrix. Voldemort nodded. 'But aren't she too young?' pondered Ginny. Voldemort's eyes flashed red. 'What was that?' 'Nothing, I-' 'Mary-Sue is perfect in every way, and thus perfectly capable of being her mother's maid of honor! How dare you imply otherwise! Avada kedavra!' And so, Ginny Potter née Weasley joined her husband in death, they got a beautiful little son named Gary-Stu, and lived - or, rather, died - happily ever after. Cissy and Bella looked at the girl's body, then at each other, before they shrugged simultaneously. 'Meh, good riddance.'
Once Ginny's body had been disposed of - it went pretty smoothly, they only had to leave it to Greyback - the big question became: what would the bride wear? Voldemort wanted black lace and very revealing stuff, but Cissy and Bella somehow managed to talk him out of it without any killing tantrum being thrown. In the end, they chose Slytherin colours, which wasn't that original, but at least everybody was more or less happy with it. Voldemort would wear white because no one would talk him out of this one, although it did look rather freaky with his chalk-pale face and glowing red eyes. As for Mary-Sue, she was wrapped in a golden blanket and levitated by Narcissa throughout the ceremony.
Did this make you, dear readers, die of horror? If so, then please revive yourselves so that you may be able to tell exactly how f***ed up this bloody sh*t is.
