A/N: OMGoodness, what an interesting development. Heh, well thank you to those who followed and faved this story even though it's my very first fanfic...ever. I was so touched that I decided to finish up chapter 2 earlier than I planned to.
Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own anything. If I did then KHR would've been a yaoi.
Chapter 2| The Night Before
A few weeks had passed since Giotto-nii's 18th birthday. Ever since I figured out my feelings, it was kinda hard looking at him. I felt ashamed, and highly embarrassed , because I had been…..touching myself while I was thinking about him. I thought about him when I was in class, in gym, walking home with him, washing the dishes! I thought about him all day! I hated myself for it, but I couldn't help it.
It was Friday night, one night before Giotto was planning to leave for three whole weeks. He was going with his friends, G and Reborn, to Italy. It was going to be the longest three weeks of my life. I sighed heavily, put my manga away then got ready for bed, since it was almost 11 p.m. I was kinda excited that I was sleeping in one of Giotto-nii's old school shirts-that was somewhat baggy on me- and some loose white boxers with little tuna fish on them. Just when I was about to turn the lights off, someone knocked on my door, causing me to jump in surprise. I thought everyone would've been asleep by now.
"Y-yes?" I watched the door open and light flooded into my room. Then I saw my godly handsome brother standing in my doorway.
"Is it safe?" He joked as he took a step forward. "Oh, you were going to bed? I'll go then."
"No, w-wait." He turned and looked at me, "I w-was just going t-to lie down. Y-You can come in, Giotto-nii." 'Why the hell am I stuttering?!'
"Alright, I was just wondering if we could talk," he informed as he came in and shut the door behind him. I left the lamp on and we both sat on my bed, me in the middle with my knees bugged to my chest and Giotto-nii sitting near the edge. "You know I'm going away for a few weeks, and I feel like we haven't really talked in awhile. I also get the feeling you were avoiding me."
I froze but I don't think my facial expression changed that much. 'Did he know? Oh please, don't tell me Giotto-nii knows that I jerk off to mental images of him!'
"Did I do anything to upset you or piss you off, Tsuna-chi?" He looked at me for a long time with a hurtful expression on his handsome face, his sky blue eyes holding so much love and concern. What was I supposed to say?
"No, you didn't do anything, Giotto-nii."
"Then what's bothering you?"
"Nothing."
"You can't lie, I know you very well, and I can tell when something is bothering you."
I looked away. What am I to say? 'Oh it's nothing, Giotto-nii! I'm just insanely in love with you.' What would he say if his little brother was in love with him? I bit my lip then laid my forehead against my knees.
"Are you having problems with your love life, Tsuna-chi?" My eyes went wide and my head snapped in his direction, a dark blush covering my cheeks. "Oh, so you are having love problems." He laughed, running a hand through his spiked hair in some kind of relief.
I smiled shyly and asked, "Got any advice?" I lightly laughed, inwardly hoping for a sign of...well, damn near anything.
"Well, I've never actually been in love, y'know? By the way, have you told them how you feel?" He asked.
"No." 'Was he just messing with me?'
"Do you ever plan on telling them?"
"Hell no."
"Heh, well why not?" he questioned.
"They'll hate me. Most likely be disgusted with me." I said sadly, knowing that it was probably the truth.
"Oh. Why do you think that?" he asked curiously.
A minute went by and I still didn't answer. Giotto-nii cleared his throat and started, "Why would she-"
I cut him off with a simple, "Not a she."
He was silent for a few seconds and just blinked at me. "So, it's a guy?"
"It's totally wrong and disgusting, I know." I looked away, not wanting to see the look on my brother's face. This is it. He was going to tell me that being with a guy would be stupid and disgusting.
"No." I looked up to see that his usual relaxed, playful face was now extra serious; something he picked up from G, I'm guessing. "If you love someone, it doesn't matter if they're a guy or a girl. You shouldn't let it stop you, Tsuna-chi. If you don't tell him, you will always wonder 'what if'."
"Yeah, b-but what if, " I paused, angry at myself for stuttering over my words. "What i-if he doesn't like m-me back? I d-don't want to lose h-him completely." I felt my eyes burn as tears threatened to fall.
"Just do what you think is best. I still think you should tell him."
"Maybe in time, but I'm not sure, Giotto-nii," I said with a sigh.
"Take time to think it over." He reached out and grabbed my shoulder, rubbing it as he smiled at me. I felt my face get hotter. "I'm glad you told me, Tsuna-chi. I'm always here for you."
"I know." With that, he pulled me in for a warm, tight hug. I sighed contently, loving the feeling of being close with his protective arms around me.
He held me for a minute then finally spoke. "I'll call you when I get to Italy. But if you need to talk, don't hesitate to call me. Y'dig?"
I giggled happily at his playful slang then nodded. "Of course, Giotto-nii." I said and he pulled away.
"I'll call you tomorrow then. Get some sleep and don't worry so much." He smiled warmly at me and I felt my heart melt. I wanted him to always smile at me like that. I always wanted Giotto-nii to smile period.
I smiled back and climbed under the covers. "Hai. Goodnight, Giotto-nii."
"Night, Tsuna-chi." He winked at me before he left and I lay down and drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep with dreams about my extremely handsome older brother.
