DISCLAIMER JK Rowling owes all the characters (except a few OC´s) God bless her
This chapter has been rewritten 12-09-2018 because I figured out another backstory that would be far more interesting than the one, I originally had planned
Last time: we meet Remus Lupin
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Silence hurt
What is the definition of home? How do you know if what you have is a home or just a house?
"Since when do they let squibs into Hogwarts?" these words were ringing in his head, even when they were said days ago.
Do you have to care about someone who doesn't even care about you?
"I'm not a squib" the chubby boy had hissed back.
Do you even have to care about anyone? Can't you just be alone for the rest of your life?
It wasn't the words that had hurt the most, it was the silence. Peter Pettigrew had no idea why his mom didn't defend him. It was the same every day, every time, every minute. She was always silent, but why? Didn't she care for her only son?
Sometimes you just want to leave everyone. Start over. A place where no one knows you, where you would be respected.
Peter had, of course, been to Diagonally lots of times before, but nothing could compare with this trip. Because this was the trip where he would get a wand, which is the coolest thing ever. And also, he would finally get away from 'home' for a while. He was going to Hogwarts this year.
Who should you care about, who should care about you? How do you know if someone cares enough? Do they have to care enough? What if a little care is good enough because there is nothing else you can get.
London was packed with muggles in the summer, each and every one of them busy with themselves, walking up and down the streets. No one seemed to notice the leaky cauldron. The entrance to Diagonally.
Diagonally looked a lot like muggle-London, except for all the muggle of course, though there was a couple of muggles here too. Parents and siblings to muggleborns.
One of the differences between Diagonally and muggle-London was all the wizard shops, like Gringotts, Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Ollivanders, Flourish and Blotts, Eeylops Owl Emporium and many more. Even more, than Peter can count, it felt like every time you got here, there was something new to see.
It's one of the few places in Britain where muggles aren't allowed to be, the exception being parents to muggleborns.
They walked past Eeylops Owl Emporium, Peter spotted a beautiful barn owl, he didn't want to be one of those kids in school who didn't have their own owl. "Can I have an owl?" he asked.
His mom considered. They did have an owl at home that he could use, and Hogwarts had owls as well, but she didn't have an owl at her time there. She knows what it's like to not have one.
"Come on" begged continued. "I don't want to borrow and owl" and I want an owl, so I can lend it to others, might help me to get friends. He made his best puppy eyes.
"Fine, but just this time" she gave him a heartening smile. Peter jumped in happiness inside himself.
Is it okay if someone only cares a little?
"An owl? A rat would be a better match" a manly voice next to them said while giving a derisively laugh of his own joke. Hate him, hate him, hate him.
The silence from his mom was heartbreaking.
"In what way? Rats can't exactly deliver letters, can they?" Peter tried to use his best knowingly voice, but his voice cracked with the last word. He wishes he had the courage to stand up to himself. Like a real Gryffindor.
"Does it matter? No one would write to you anyway"
The silence was killing.
A little care and no care are practically the same.
Peter can't wait to get away, to get away from everything and everyone. He couldn't wait to not think about them every day.
But care is important.
The day Peter had received his letter he spent the whole afternoon on the roof. Alone. From up there, he could almost see their old house. And a bit of the sea. This was his favourite place in the house, it was the only quiet place.
Just a little care.
They went to Ollivanders as the last thing, Karsyn and his mom went to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour with the others. It was brand new, just opened earlier that summer.
"Hello?" Peter said as he entered the shop, it was all dusty. A man came in there from another door. Peter recognized him as Ollivander. The owner of the shop. "Hi," he greeted.
"Hello, young man, Pettigrew, am I right? Oh, I remember the day your father came here to get his first wand, and your mother the same just a couple of years later..." Ollivander stared into the air remembering it. Peter cleared his throat, Ollivander looked at Peter again. "Oh, yes, you are here for a wand? Just a moment" he went to one of the shelves and picked out a box.
The wand was kind of red-ish wood, it was rather short, but Peter fell in love immediately. He knew he shouldn't, this might not be the wand for him, but he couldn't help but adore it.
"It's chestnut, dragon heartstring and 9 ¼ inches. Chestnut like your father´s" Ollivander gave the wand to Peter, he felt a rush go through him, he waved the wand and small sparkles flew from it. Ollivander cracked a smile. "You look like your father, has anyone ever told you that?"
"No..."
"Anyways" Ollivander quickly stood behind the counter. "That'll be seven Galleons"
Peter gave him the money and quickly left the shop. He had a wand. He had an actual wand, it just doesn't get cooler than that. A bloody wand. Peter had it safely hidden away in the bag he had brought. There is no way he would let anyone take it away from him.
A bloody wand!
They were all waiting for him at the ice cream shop, each and every one of his sisters was eating ice cream. There wasn't any for him, but Peter didn't care at the moment, he had a wand, which none of the others had.
Peter choose the seat longest away from any of them. His mom smiled at him. "What wand did you get?" she asked interestedly.
"Chestnut and dragon heartstring core" he mumbled.
"Stop mumbling and tell so we can hear you" Kayson snapped.
Taliyah eyed him quickly and then looked down, Leena and Florence both looked at him while Chili was eating her ice cream oblivious to all of it. His mom was silent.
"Chestnut and dragon heartstring core," Peter said a bit clearer and more wished he could stand up for himself, is that something you can learn at Hogwarts? Probably not, but he could learn some spells he could use, but on the other hand, he wasn't allowed to use magic before he was seventeen, and then he would move away.
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"Hi dad, I-" Peter felt stupid, he stared at the headstone in front of him.
Soham Pettigrew
1940-1960
Loved husband and father
Peter took the flowers he had brought and placed them next to the stone, a tear might and might not have escaped his eyes. It was stupid, it was all stupid. He stood up again and stared at the words on the stone. It was lying.
"Dad I... I got accepted to Hogwarts, we share wand wood..." he tried but the stone refused his words, offering nothing. "I think I... I miss you," he said. Then left the stone behind and headed back to the house.
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Poor Peter. Remember to review.
