Sasori hummed as he flash seared the outside of his stuffed chicken breast to golden perfection. Humming a new song, he thought about how easily he managed to get Deidara wrapped around his finger. How quickly this was all happening. Who knew all you needed to get a man was a good home cooked meal? He didn't know if his original thought of the way to a man's heart was through his pants was more stupid than through the stomach. Both could be considered relatively easy.
"Now then, let's put it in the broiler to bake for fifteen minutes. Just have to make sure it has an internal temperature of 165..."
This particular dinner would have gone great with a rice pilaf as a side dish, however the blond had made it clear that it wasn't his favorite. Of course Sasori wouldn't make it then, even when he himself liked it. This wasn't just about him anymore, this was about Deidara.
"How about to go with the scallop potatoes, we have roasted garlic green beans dusted with Parmesan and almond slivers..." he spoke to himself, getting out green beans from the fridge, a head of garlic from the cupboard and his fresh block of Parmesan to grate large chunks. He also made sure to take careful note not to ruin the dish by burning the garlic. If he did that? He may as well give up altogether.
Once the meal was done, Sasori walked over to his neighbors house and froze. There standing at Deidara's door was his noisy downstairs neighbor, Hidan. Shirt wide open, youthful skin, rippling muscles and hair slicked back. He reeked of of not only cologne but something else he couldn't quite put his finger on at the moment. Repulsive. This man was considered a threat as he leaned into his neighbors doorway, callously hitting on the oblivious and clearly to anyone but the two men, quite uninterested blond.
"Ugh, he stinks." Sasori muttered in his lowest voice so as to not be heard.
"What the hell is that smell?" Hidan suddenly hollered, the rich smell of garlic and herbs hitting his nostrils.
Both of Sasori's neighbors quickly turned to Sasori, eyes wide as the smell of his house fill the apartment hallway. Deidara knew what was up, but Hidan sure as hell didn't.
"Bye bye, Hidan! Gotta go!" Deidara yelled, wide smile as he grabbed his keys from his coat pocket that was near by, locked the door and ran directly towards Sasori. "Dinner? Is it dinner!?"
"Oh, uh yes, I have extras."
A hungry Hidan smiled, "What's this? You have leftovers of whatever smells so good? I want in too!"
Sasori scowled, "I only have a little leftovers, Hidan. There isn't enough to feed two extra hungry twenty year old men."
Hearing this, Deidara stuck his tongue out at Hidan earning a scowl. "Hey Sasori! What's on the menu tonight anyway, un?"
"Lightly breaded, pan seared chicken breast that's stuffed with vegetables and mozzarella, scalloped potatoes and roasted garlic-Parmesan green beans topped with toasted almond slivers."
Deidara visibly looked excited. He had never eaten that before!
"I didn't know you cooked!" Hidan exclaimed, shocked at the new news. Last time he heard from Sasori's grumbling grandmother as she stormed out of the building was how poorly her grandchild ate. An "unmarried bum who eats frozen meals" as he so recalled.
"It's my new hobby." Sasori seethed. Looking back to Deidara he smiled, "Also I hope you don't mind, I've been wanting to try out a new dessert recipe and they hardly have ones for single servings... I hope you like chocolate mousse with salted caramel drizzle... since I happen to have an extra."
Deidara and Hidan's jaws dropped. What an extravagant meal- dessert too!? All Deidara had for a late night snack was half of a dollar store brand chocolate bar, while Hidan had a four peppermints he swiped from the bank's candy dish. Goodness did that bank teller give him an earful as he ran out.
"Hurry hurry! Before it gets cold; let's go let's go!" Deidara said in a panic, excited for his next meal.
"Yo! Next time I want in on this!"
Sasori snorted, "Only if there is enough left overs for three... oh, but wait," Hidan quirked a brow. "Deidara, How was your salad today?"
"Delicious!"
"Hmm, I think if there is any leftovers from the two of us, they will be Deidara's mid morning snack. Sorry Hidan. Bye!" And shut the door.
Hidan just grumbled and head back down the hall to the staircase. It didn't make any sense! For as long as he had known the redhead, Sasori never shared, never had guests over, didn't even interact with neighbors, and didn't cook extravagant meals. Opening the door to the staircase he looked back and sighed, "That shit smelled so good too." he sulked.
It was now a daily thing. Everyday, three times a day, Deidara would join Sasori for a meal. He didn't even have to wake Deidara up in the morning anymore, he'd simply knock and there would be a waiting man, ready for a great breakfast. Lunch was always a riot for his tastebuds. However dinner had easily become the blonds favorite time of the day. As if on cue when the clock struck six thirty, Deidara began to salivate.
There were casseroles, ribs, soups, lasagna so delicious it made him weak in the knees. Homemade pizza, freshly made ravioli, and homemade garlic butter spread on fresh homemade bread to make the most amazing garlic toast. Gourmet salads, hamburgers and there was even a day they had the most incredible assortment of little appetizers and wine for dinner. The little cheese cubes were just so fancy that evening.
Desserts were on the rise too after he got such a great response from Deidara. Sasori even called his grandmother for his family's special cherry pie recipe, hoping Deidara would love it as much as he did. When he did end up making it for the blond, his toes curled in happiness as Deidara had nothing but praises spill from his lips over how delicious it was. From the sweet cherry insides, to the crunchy sugar coated and flaky crust; it was a divine way to end a meal with a cup of tea and a scoop of ice cream.
"I'm really glad you liked this dessert. It was my favorite as a child." Sasori said, not even noticing he had said a little too much there. Deidara wasn't supposed to know Sasori was trying to cook him delicious food. It was supposed to be leftovers, nothing overly sentimental.
"Hey Sasori, your apron is lookin' messed up."
Glancing down Sasori sighed as he looked at the stained beyond stained apron. He had cooked so much for Deidara in this apron, it would be a shame to throw it out. It definitely had sentimental value at this point, however he really did need a new one.
"Yeah, I guess I may need a new one."
The dirty and tattered apron was a sign. He had been spending so much time preparing food for Deidara and for what? Perfection. Everything was going to plan as Sasori got Deidara all to himself. They talked, got to know each other better like they were on the classiest of dates while one of them wore their comfiest clothing. Most excitedly to Sasori, Deidara had grown incredibly dependent on those tasty meals.
It was like calling livestock to feed.
Sasori watched Deidara eat his breakfast consisting of something downright delightful. He had purchased himself a pressure cooking pot and made homemade yogurt. It was gently warmed and topped with warm berries and a drizzle of sweet honey.
"I've... I've never had warm yogurt... warm fresh homemade yogurt..."
"Oh yes," Sasori tittered a little, "It's the only way to go, but you have to warm it carefully and only a little or else it will separate."
"So it's hard to do, un?"
"Well, it's not easy if you are careless or are not sure what you're doing."
Deidara went for a second bowl and Sasori watched from behind as the blond reached over the table to fill his bowl. There was something different about Deidara he had noticed these past couple days. Something that somehow made him... sexier? Why did Deidara all of a sudden get more attractive? As if that were even possible! Something was different though, was he maybe doing something to himself to make him look good for the meals?
Sasori was puzzled, but whatever it was, it was simply fantastic. In fact, that ass he was looking at was looking fantastic; even in sweatpants and yes, yoga pants.
"Thanks for the food!"
"You're welcome."
Deidara sucked back the last of his coffee and was out the door, full of vigor and energy to start his day. Of course he had a special treat in his hand made by Sasori, something to keep him going as well as something to remind the college boy of Sasori all day long.
Today? It was a big slice of a cheesecake-brownie and by god it looked good.
As Sasori cleaned up the dishes, he clicked his tongue as he thought about the rest of his day. First, he would start off by working a few hours from home, the he'd drop off some paper work, head out mail a few packages after that, finally he would head to the grocery store and come home to make lunch and start the prep for dinner. What to make though...
"SASORI!"
Sasori dropped his pot into the sink, water splashing out and soaking himself. An awful sensation to be soaked with dirty dish water, but oh how Sasori's heart pounded! Looking around he stared wide eyed at a not even half dressed Deidara looking positively horrified himself as the door had been slammed right open.
"What's wrong!?" Sasori panicked, instantly worried he had made Deidara ill with his newest dairy recipe.
"I'm fat!"
Sasori looked at Deidara and frowned. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers, one pant leg on- however not on all the way. Since he could see a good look of Deidara's body, he could see that he was absolutely far from fat. He just looked like a guy standing in his boxers mid getting dressed.
"You're not fat."
"No! No, no! I can't get my skinny jeans on!" Deidara hopped around yanking it up only for it to get stuck at his thigh. "Look! See? Fat!" He grabbed at his stomach and then suffocating thigh. "They probably- oh my god...my ass is probably massive!" He shrieked, looking behind in a twirl as he tried to look at his own butt.
Sasori hid his face behind his hand. Actually, those new "thicker" thighs were incredibly sexy. Not that Deidara looked bad before. Yes he could see now that Deidara had indeed gained some weight, however it was in all the right places and for all the right reasons. Before Deidara was stick skinny, starved from instant noodles, energy drinks, Hot Cheetos and skipping meals in place of sleeping. He looked fantastic right now, but unfortunately Sasori couldn't outright say that. However he could compliment him in a more subtle way.
"You look great Deidara."
"Really?" Deidara asked looking for any reassurance that things would be okay.
"Yes, really. You just look like you eat a balanced diet, like you don't live off cereal and frozen food packs." Sasori admitted while cleaning up the spilled water. "However if you are that concerned, maybe I could cook some healthier food options. I've been meaning to eat more vegetables anyway."
"You would do that, un?"
"Of course." Sasori sighed, "I could also increase the proteins if you wanted to start working out."
"Working out..." Deidara repeated back, "well now that I'm waking up earlier, I do have more free time!"
"Wonderful. Now that's the positive attitude you should have."
Sasori was putting up a charade. He was a fake, a phony as he was sweating bullets. He was actually terrified after Deidara made a fuss about gaining weight. Yes, that's what was making the blond more attractive, but that could have easily made Deidara too scared to eat his food ever again. With quick action he needed to do damage control. Fix things. Make Deidara stay and maybe add a little less calories to his meals if that was the problem. After all he wanted to support Deidara, make him happy and keep him healthy.
If anyone forgot, Sasori really and truly liked his neighbor. And not just in a superficial way. He genuinely wanted him to be happy. A healthy Deidara was just delightful to see. At this point, the two could even be considered friends. Just the word made Sasori happy as it meant there was progress happening.
With all the money Deidara was probably saving from not having to buy his own groceries, he should have plenty of money to purchase a couple new pairs of jeans.
Sasori scoffed once Deidara was muttering about going to put on another pair of sweatpants.
"He's not even fat. What a brat."
nonono this is not a bloating kink fic just to put it out there.
bye bye losers
