Author's Notes: I don't own Card Captor Sakura. I'm one of my heart breaking modes again. I guess it's really official this time. He doesn't want to do anything with me anymore. It kinda hurts because our relationship lasted for four years: four years of getting to know each other, four years of falling in love with each other, four years of fighting over things that are useless, four years of building dreams you wished it would last but I guess after today that won't happen anymore. I'm so tired of crying and I thought hey I can do stuffs like writing fanfics, watching Supernatural, watching anime, going to a driving school someday but…it's so hard for now. So please bear with me.
Bloody Priestess: thank you for the encouraging words last February 24, 2014. I'm sure this time there won't be anything to piece back to. If he comes back again I have a condition for him. Hahaha. I cannot help it. Have I fallen in love with the wrong person? Everything has a reason. Let's see how far I will move on on the four years we've been together and for the coming years that I will forget him. Cheers, to me.
Tomoyo Daidouji couldn't understand her feelings anymore. Sure it had come to a time where Eriol had finally confessed his feelings towards her. She couldn't be happier knowing he loves her too but the mere fact that Eriol will sometimes spend time with his ex-lover Kaho Mizuki she realized if she had made the worst mistake like giving her heart to him when he's holding his feelings for Kaho.
It had been weeks as she had certainly avoided him not knowing how to confront him. She had given her heart to him. Willingly. Freely. But why must he end up square one with his former lover? She doesn't know who to talk to. Sure Sakura Kinomoto and Li Syaoran knew of their blossoming relationship but she didn't even tell them of the hurt that she had experienced at that very moment. "Was I just a rebound for your wounded ego Eriol-kun?" she thought. "I am so unlucky with love. The people I love leave me behind. You should just have given your heart to Mizuki-sensei. Much better than you falling for me and you are thinking about her". Suddenly her messenger pops up in the screen. She smiled wryly as Sakura greeted her:
Sakura: Ohayou Tomoyo-chan~ 3
Tomoyo: Ohayou Sakura-chan ^^
Sakura: Ogenki desu ka? You seem down lately. Something wrong with you and Eriol-kun?
Tomoyo: Iie neh. How come you can say that?
Sakura: Like I said you've been down lately. I just hope you and Eriol-kun are fine neh~
She was about to reply to her when Sakura added: I'll always be here Tomoyo-chan. You could always depend on me. We've been friends like forever.
The conversation with Sakura did made her smile that day. She thought she would be fine and fix things with Eriol when he had told her a dreadful news. "You are what? With Mizuki-sensei?"
"I'll be back after-"
"You love her don't you?!" she said without thinking twice. "I think after all this time-"
"What are you saying? How could you even think of such a thing?!"
"Oh and you are blaming me now? Aren't you just that dense to realize why I've been avoiding you for these past few days? I think you just use me so that you could forget your broken hearted ego-"
"Tomoyo I didn't lie about what I feel for you! Kaho just needs my help because-"she apparently turned her back on him and he stopped. "Tomoyo please listen".
"Enough. Haven't you hurt me enough?" Tomoyo asked softly. He knew she was apparently crying right then and there. "Just go. Just go with her and I'll be fine". He doesn't know if he should hug her or make her turn to him so he didn't do anything.
"I'll come back Tomoyo when I fix things in London-"she apparently shook her head. "Please listen".
"I wouldn't have to wait for you anymore. By then I'm sure my heart belongs to someone else". She left the room without turning back, without saying goodbye, without looking at him. "Why must I listen to his explanations when the explanations itself is really clear", she thought, running to whatever place that'll take her. "Does the feeling of being jealous included in the package?"
He left without saying goodbye and she had been crying for days for that. She couldn't even explain the hurt when he left. She always thought she had done the right thing. That she had protected her heart from breaking. She didn't expect to cry so much. She had avoided the places that reminds her of him when they were together. She had avoided the music room the most. "I'll get through", she thought, lying in her bed as she had done crying. "When I'm over you I'll be happy again you'll see". Her phone beeps as she tried to reach for it. It was getting harder each day. "I didn't know it was so hard to forget you". Her eyes widened as she saw Sakura's message:
Tomoyo-chan I know moving on is not that easy. I know I am not in the place to advice that. If you wanna cry then cry until you cannot cry no more. Remember I'm always here and Syaoran too. Seeing you down breaks my heart more knowing I cannot do anything about it. You think it was okay for you to let Eriol-kun leave without hearing his side? I am sure he is not in love with Mizuki-sensei but all I can say is that if you wanna move on then all I can say is that "Let him shatter your heart completely so that there will be nothing for you to piece back and when you realize that there's nothing left to come back to. You can let him go with no hard feelings, no regrets, and no offensive hand gestures to his retreating back". (Author's Notes: this belongs to Bloody Priestess)
After reading her message she hadn't stop crying for a long time.
/
Sakura Kinomoto and Li Syaoran we're waving at the balcony where Tomoyo was standing as she waved back. They were in Eriol's house as Eriol escorted the couple to the gate. Seeing him again she wasn't really prepared for it. Her treacherous heart beats just like before. He had invited them for dinner for he was back in Japan just a few days back and had just contacted Sakura yesterday. The two decided to leave and it's not like she doesn't know the reason why they had to. She doesn't want to be alone with him but she guess she had to.
Hearing his footsteps behind her she doesn't know how to start the conversation. Five years was such a long time. For those five years she had cut her communication with him. If she wouldn't she thinks she'll do something like blurting her feelings for him. "Are you sure it's okay for you to stay behind?" Eriol asked as he leaned over the balcony as well. She didn't even look at him when she replied.
"I'm sure Sakura wanted me to stay behind and talk to you".
"We haven't talked for five years. Did you intend not to talk to me forever?"
"Probably", was her curt reply then her eyes met his. "Was there a reason to?" she heard him sigh as he placed his two hands on her shoulder. "H-Hiiragizawa-kun-"his brow rose in confusion.
"Now that's awkward. Seriously now Tomoyo like I said nothing is going on between me and Kaho". He saw her eyes looking away as he held her chin using his finger to look at him. "She wants my help to apparently transfer here permanently". This time it was her brow that rose in confusion.
"Permanently? Doushite?" he released his finger on her chin as he leaned again.
"She's dating Touya Kinomoto again. Hasn't he told you about it?"
"No but Touya-niichan is sometimes with her if I recall. So she wants to stay permanently on Japan and be with Touya?"she asked. Was avoiding him all this time was a mistake?
"It's true she was my former lover that I can't deny". Eriol's eyes went to her again. "It's true I've fallen in love with you but that was after some time I had forgotten about her. I was trying to explain and I know you wouldn't listen to such reasons after all I was accompanying her and you have to look at that incident". His eyes looked down shyly and he gazes at her amethyst eyes once again. "I had to respect your decision and promised myself that I would come back to you once it was settled. I had to finish my degree and decided on communicating with you but I was afraid…that you'd shut me out again so I wanna tell you personally". He paused then continued. "Just give me a second chance. I didn't want it to end. Onegai Tomoyo-"she placed her finger on his lips, silencing him.
"Gomen", she said, her eyes turning away. "Gomen nasai for everything". He clasped his hands to hers, his eyes shining bright like the midnight sky.
"We could always start over. Tomoyo, I'm not going anywhere anymore. I'll always be here!" she sighed hearing his words. She felt so miserable. She felt so miserable that she doesn't know what to do.
"I'm only gonna hurt you. I'm not a good girlfriend", Tomoyo said, laughing softly on what she said but he had embraced her, crushing her into his arms something that she missed those times they were together. "E-Eriol-kun", she said, her face flushed. "P-Please…"
"Now that I got my name right from your lips, I'll be waiting for your answer and I would be persistent on what is mine and belongs to me".
"A-And if you don't get what you want?" she said, feeling more flustered as his face coming closer. "E-Eriol onegai neh-"
"Gomen, I don't accept no as answer". With that said his lips was crushing hers in a sweet kiss that made her want to escape somehow. It was demanding, it was Eriol's feelings that he wanted to tell her for so long. Punishing and sweet something that she didn't expect and something regrettable and without any restrain she kissed him back one that wanted her to tell him how she really feels.
To be continued…
